Should I Put My Son Back in His Crib?? I Am Running Out of Options!

Updated on July 10, 2017
D.N. asks from Coram, NY
16 answers

Hello!

I am a mom of a 25 month old boy. We put him in a big boy bed 2 weeks ago because he was waking 2-3x a night for no apparent reason and we figured if we had to break that habit, why not make the transition.

Well, he was always a good sleeper in the crib, yet at times would cry at bedtime. He was/is very excited about his bed yet cried the first night. I tried a Supernanny technique where you stay in the room until he falls asleep, each night moving further away. This stopped the crying,but once we were out of the room, he started to get out of the bed.

This led us to the next technique--carrying him back to his bed until he stayed there. Problem is he likes this! He laughs and thinks it's a game. We are not talking to him and no eye contact. He comes out and when we go to bring him back, he laughs and acts like it's a cat and mouse game. I am willing to keep doing it, but the time frame is not reducing. It has been 3 days and it takes 11/2 hrs for him to decide to stay in the bed. He takes less for his nap, but I am so tired of putting in all of this effort and not seeing an improvement. I have read not to put him back in the crib once you have made the transition. Is he too young to understand?? He is not very verbal and I have tried stickers and even telling him I will give him a lollipop if he goes to bed and stays there. We have tried putting up a gate, but then he gets out of the bed and plays, pulls at the blinds and reads his books. I am not comfortable with leaving him with all of that freedom for safety reasons.

PLease, if anyone has any advice or encouragement, I would appreciate it. I am also afraid if I put him back in the crib, he will need to be sleep trained to stay in it again.

Thank you--D.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I think it would be okay to put him back into his crib. My daughter was 3 when we changed over.

If you decide to not change him back, then baby proof his room and just let himself tire himself out. My 3y old camps out on the floor most nights.

M.

1 mom found this helpful

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Leave him in the new bed, put up the gate, and if he touches anything else in the room remove it. If he is left with nothing but his bed, so be it. He will learn eventually. I was actually a little more easy going about it. I transitioned my boys at 16 months, and used a gate. The first few nights they fell asleep all over the room, but never in the bed. I even found one under the bed one night. I would simply wait for them to fall asleep, and than put them into the bed so they would wake up there. After a few nights they got it.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Don't play the game. First off and it is a game. Get a gate and put across his doorway. Turn the light in his room off and put him to bed. put the toys away. if he is at all like my son you will need to put childproof locks on all his dresser drawers. and put the toys away in the closet which will also have a child proof lock. then kiss him good night and go out. he will likely scream his lungs out for the first little bit. but it will stop. you will find him asleep at the gate. and thats ok. as it also will last only a little bit. I would absolutly not put him back in the crib. stick it out with the bed. and know that it does only last a short time unless you play along with his game. just keep remembering that. my sister in law had a saying "this too shall pass" she was right.

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M.F.

answers from New York on

(I was the typical mom following all the books, timelines and schedules with my first child)
My first child at 2 years old kept climbing out of her crib so we transition her to a full bed with side rails. We super nannied her for 5 days and never looked back. My second child climbed out of her crib at 2 years old only one time and never attempted it again. Although, at the age of 3 years old, she thought she wanted a big bed like her big sister. When we transition her into a full bed it was horrible for all of us. After going through one week of torture,"All of the Above", we put her crib back together and I swear she looked at me like what were you waiting for! lol! It was like she never left her crib, like the horrible week never happened. She has just turned 4 and we have never looked back. I believe one day she will ask again but until then we are all rested and happy! So as you can see, all children are different and you must do what is healthy and happy for you and your children!
(I am no longer a typical mom - I thew all my books, timelines and schedules out the window! My second child broke the mold!)

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Do not put him back in his crib. I am assuming his room is safe. Put the
blinds up so he cannot reach them. Make sure there is nothing that he can
get hurt on and continue what you are doing. He gets up take him back.
Nothing said, no eye contact. Eventually it will work, however, you might
be on the verge of a breakdown LOL. Good luck.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Don't make a game of him getting out of bed and being carried back. Gate him in his room. If he gets out of bed, ignore him. He can't get out of his room. If he has a tantrum, fine. If he eventually galls asleep on the floor, fine. If you need to, take the toys and fun things out of his room, strip it down to just furniture and his bedding, so that if he gets out of bed, there is nothing in his room to entertain him and he'll stop doing it.

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C.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hang in there D.! I wouldn't put him back in his crib. Can you lay down with him at night? We did this with our son for almost 2 years. He is probably too young for lollipops and stickers as rewards, and do you end up driving some really bad long term habits with that? I don't know- I have done it and it didn't but every child is different. Good luck!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

put him back in his crib.. he is not ready for hte freedom we moved my daughter at 3 1/2 and she stayed in her toddler bed from the first night..

he is too young.

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V.S.

answers from Lima on

OMG I am almost in the same boat as you. My daughter is 27 months old and she is still in a crib because we can't get her transitioned into her toddler bed. All she does is cries the whole time. She will nap in her toddler bed and play in it, but that's it.

First of all, what is in your son's room that would cause a safety issue? I shut the door and put up a gate in my daughter's room so that she can roam around safely without injuring herself. Although there isn't much in her room either!

Second of all, I think you are doing everything right. It just takes time. Yes, at the age he is at too, he will think it's a game when you consistently keep taking him in there. What I would try to do is put him in the toddler bed and keep telling him it's night time and shut the door with you in there. Turn the lights off and try reading to him. Maybe this will calm him down. Is he potty trained? The reason I ask is maybe he needs a small glass of milk or water before he goes to bed while you read and maybe that will get him to sleep quicker.

My daughter goes to bed on her own (well kind of). When it hits 8:30pm we tell her it's time for bed and she'll go upstairs right to her crib and we put her in there and she'll go to sleep on her own. Granted I am a mother of 2 ( a 2 year old and a 3 week old) and I still don't have everything figured out and my advice here probably isn't the best.

I hope you get good advice on your question and I wish you luck!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would put him back in his crib. Sounds like he's not ready just yet. leave the crib til he's 3.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

If I remember correctly, my daughter did some night waking at about that age. It seems like she was going through growth spurts and learning a lot right about that time. We did transition her to a toddler bed at 2 years. It took us a few nights to get her to sleep in her bed all night long. We spent a good week really hyping up her BIG GIRL bed. She was totally amped to sleep in it. We told her over and over again that big girls stay in their own beds all night long. We just made a HUGE deal out of it. By the time it was bedtime she was so darn excited to sleep in her big girl bed she could hardly contain herself! LOL!
We also adjusted her bedtime routine. We went from reading books and snuggling on the couch to reading books and snuggling in her bed (or beside her bed since my dh and I don't fit in the little bed).
I'm also guilty of making sure she was absolutely exhausted before she went to bed. Like so tired that she was falling asleep during dinner. It might not be the best technique, but it worked.
Good luck!

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K.O.

answers from New York on

Wow, you must be exhausted. My advice would be to put him back in his be only a set amount of times (maybe 2) and then just leave him in the room and sooner or later he will tire of this and go to bed. Then he'll start to get in the habit and stay in bed when you put him down. We found my daughter asleep on the floor a couple of times. No big deal, just put her in bed while she's asleep. You'll have to childproof the room for safety. I agree that that is very important. But that should be done anyway. Not all kids are the same for sure, but his behavior doesn't sound unusual. When I put my son in his big bed he would get out occasionaly. Once I heard him get out of bed on the monitor and I was affraid he would head for the stairs so I ran to his room and opened the door and accidentaly opened it right into his head. I didn't know he was right by the door. But, that kid never, and I mean never, got out of his bed again until he was 4. I had to tell him it was OK to come into my room in the morning rather than sitting in bed and calling me. But I wouldn't reccomend that technique. :) Best of luck.

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

Many people may disagree with me, but we left our daughter in her crib until she was almost four! I read that as long as they are not climbing out and hurting themselves, it's the best place for them to be. I think I put the fear of God in her to not climb out, telling her she could fall and get hurt. She slept so much better in her crib. I don't think it matters, as long as they can stretch out in the crib.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I had the crib in my room and the twin bed in his room, both set up when we stitched my son. My son was 2.5 when we switched him. He had 30 minutes after his normal bedtime routine to settle down and go to sleep. If he was playing around, getting up and not going to sleep he went back in the crib for the night. I was pregnant at the time and had very limited patience and energy. It took about 2 weeks for him to sleep in his bed all night.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Try it, and see how he does back in the crib.

My son was sleeping in his crib until about 3 years old. He loved his crib and slept well there. Then, one day he said he didn't want to be in there anymore. So according to his cues... we took him out. He now sleeps on a floor futon. He is fine there. He loves it and still sleeps fine.

And yes, the thing is a 2 year old has no impulse control... and they cannot self-lead nor self-control themselves, at-will. So, they are like a Jack in the box. It is developmental based.

good luck,
Susan

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A.S.

answers from New York on

I'd say going back to the crib cold be dangerous if he tries to climb out...although he isn't verbal, I'm sure he understands. My non-verbal 2 year old understood when I told him, "Mami has to sleep and do things in the house, so DON'T get out of the bed, or I will be very upset" He stayed in bed and cried, for many days, but he got the point..at the time it was the only thing I could think of, he's 9 now, and he still stays in bed even if he isn't "tired yet"

I'd say give the nanny technique a bit more time, but start earlier and make sure there is a routine. I used to tell him one hour before "In one hour it will be bed time" then as it got closer it was bath...read for 15 min, pray and lights out...he'd try to get me to interact, but I just left the night light on, and walked out.

So don't give up, whatever you do, he needs to sleep, and you have things to do, and need to rest as well..Good luck

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