Should I Put Toddler into School with #2 on the Way?

I question putting her in school so close in time to her getting a new sibling. She'll have to adjust to sharing you with a new baby at the same time she's in a new environment. Dealing with 2 adjustment issues may make things harder for her and for you. I'd wait until she's 2.

I believe that school at this young age is not as helpful as being at home with mom. Babies need time to be just babies. We rush them into growing up too fast.

My first thought is will you be ready to take her to school in the mornings with a new baby in the house? That's a lot for you to take on. She has her whole life to be in school. I would wait (this is coming from a teacher, too!).

When I was pregnant with my 2nd the 17-20 month stage for my oldest was horrible-- horrible-- horrible with leaving him anywhere, especially as I got closer to having his younger brother. And he was only left with family, and the church nursery. However, I was continually paged out so we decided at 19 months, it wasn't worth his anxiety anymore.

We stayed home & he stayed with me the whole time. I had my 2nd when he was 20.5 months & at 22 months we resumed drop offs with family and the church nursery. Totally different kid, he didn't look back twice he just took off and had fun. Even now I'm lucky to get a wave bye!

For lots of kids there's a 2nd anxiety separation thing at around 18 months, and the addition of a new little sibling I'd be worried about it being too much for her. Then again, you know your child best, and need to do what's best for you family. My suggestion is to wait until she's closer to 2yrs-2.5 yrs even.

Good Luck and congratulations on your upcoming LO :)

Sounds like a lot to adjust to, probably too much.

Do it! Getting her into a fun environment before baby arrives is a great move. Our son was in morning daycare already due to my work hours and we continued it after his sister was born. It was so helpful to have those few hours of alone time with the baby, while he got to have fun baby-free time with friends. Do it before the baby arrives, so she doesn't associate the baby's arrival with her going off to school. You want those to be two separate events.

I would go with your gut instinct. I like the idea of a morning program, and also of her interacting with pint-sized peers in classroom setting. This may help acclimate her down the road for pre-school.

Again, it's up to you and what you feel is best for your toddler, self and of course newborn.

I had my daughter in childcare at six months because I had to work. She absolutely thrived.

Each situation is different, and you have to do what is best for your family. The Montessori concept is really good, and a morning school would be able to give you some time for yourself and the new baby.

Mine were close to yours as far as months apart (18 months total), and my son did go to day school while I was home on maternity leave with the baby. It gave him some structure and an outlet to play. Then when I went back to work, she went to an in home daycare, and my son continued in the day school, which he loves.

Good luck!

Mornings only will be fine. You will have bonding time/one on one time with the baby which will help your state of mind. Your kiddo will have some exposure to new people and things, which will be nice for her. Make sure daddy pitches in so you can have some one-on-one time with your big girl :) Congrats!

Personally (my daughter is the youngest) I did not enroll my DD til recently and she will start in the fall. I know many families who enrolled their kids in preschool at 2.5 or 3 and DD was *just* 3 the end of last summer. She didn't need it. I didn't need it. (She was in daycare from 4-18 months.)

If you do it, do so for her sake, and because she's really ready for the program, not because someone made you feel like if she's not in preschool by 2 she won't succeed. Frankly, you could also put her in a mom's day out program some mornings if you need the time with the little one. I just don't like the idea of pushing little kids when really right now they need to play.

I would also look at the timing of everything. That's two really big adjustments close together and that can be a lot for a kid. If you're expecting #2 by the time #1 is 18 months...she's still pretty tiny herself. I would give her time to see how it goes and enroll her in September, if you still put her in school.

Do you need it as a day care option? If you don't, I would wait. My oldest just turned four and my baby is 9 months. That morning time during the baby's morning nap is essentially the only "alone" time my older and I have together. That's the biggest reason I haven't put her in pre-school. Plus, as Melissa G. pointed out, that's one more thing to add into your routine. I'd hold off for now for sure, and even later than September if you can, or just a couple mornings a week.

I would say it depends on the child. If you feel she is ready and especially if she's excited about school go for it. If you think you need to prepare her for intergration with other childern than wait. You don't want to force children into sisituations if they aren't ready, they are like mini adults.

I don't think having another child is reason to put your oldest in school. If your oldest is ready then go for it. My son was 17 months old when my daughter was born. It's hard enough having a newborn and it's even harder w/ another youngster around but you get through it. I didn't put my son into preschool until he had just turned 3 and for 2 days a week. It was perfect timing for him. I saw my other nephews all start at 3 and it always seemed like the perfect age. My personal opinion is anything before 2.5 is too young. Every kid is different and every household has different circumstances.

Whoa! One month away?! That's not a lot of time to make a transition for any of you. Lot to deal with for you all: separation anxiety, jealousy, exhaustion, excitement, new friends, new fun and play, new learning, and plain logistics of it all. Given that, here's my rambling two part answer with my own experiences with 2 kids and also with the Montessori system:

1. On starting preschool: Putting your daughter into preschool is a personal decision based on you and the father's feelings and ideas and also on your daughter's maturity and readiness for "school". 16.5 months is not too young for some children, but too young for others. I think if you are worried about if sending her off to school when there's a new baby will ruin her emotionally, you'll never know. Most definitely will if you present it to her as that. Won't if you treat it as if this is the next logical step and a wonderful experience, just like learning to feed herself and dress herself. I'm guessing there's a space available at the preschool in one month and thus your dilemma?

Logistically, getting 2 kids out the door at 8:10am to get my son to preschool by 8:30 am was a drag. Easy when my baby was a newborn, cause all I had to do was strap her into the infant seat, then infant seat into the Snap n'Go...she slept thru it all. It's a royal pain now that she's older and I have to get both of them to eat breakfast, potty, and dressed too! Even with the morning logistics, it is nice to have that time in the morning with my younger one for her to nurse (when she was younger), to nap in a quiet house (when she did still am nap), and to have mommy time to play at home or go to Mommy&Me type classes. My older one gets mommy time after she goes down for the night. Some told me to get a babysitter for the baby so that my older one could have mommy dates, but that just wasn't realistic for us and it just made him more jealous when baby was around. He had to learn that we all were a family together and that his sister wasn't going away. So, if we were going to the zoo or the park, then we all were going....Funny, something my now jealous younger one is learning when big brother has the day off from school.

My son started all day daycare T/Th when he was 9 months old, then he moved to a hard core full time 8:30-2:30 AMI certified Montessori school when he was 22 months. I just happened to get pregnant when he started preschool. He was a little immature but very intelligent and mostly ready for it. He's always been very "mommy-needy", needs constant interaction, and can't handle being by himself. His teachers have always said that he's very intelligent and an excellent student. Other parents have noted what a good student he is and how well he performs in class (as opposed to when Mommy is around!) I think sending my son off to full time school just when I got pregnant had very little impact on him developmentally or emotionally. He would have been needy regardless, but school probably helped him become more independent. It would have been nice to have him only go on a part-week schedule as a 2 yr old but that wasn't an option. He had separation anxiety from 11 months to 3 1/2 years old!! He screamed and cried every day with some days having to be pulled from my legs. Lest you think I'm an insensitive mom, I knew he stopped as soon as I left, and he miraculously happily left me the next day when I finally told him it was okay to cry but he'd have to do it in the "principal's office" because he was upsetting his friends.

When my daughter turns 2 yrs this spring, she will start preschool, a compromise between my husband who wanted her to start "school" at 8 months and myself who wants to wait until she's 3, at a pseudo-Montessori school 3 days/week. She's very mature and totally ready for it, and she's probably been ready for the past 6-8 months. She has always been eager to learn from anyone, is a little cautious at first but loves to explore new things. She loves to be at home and can play by herself too. She's been getting used to away time from me with a temporary sitter for the last couple of months. She's gone to daycare occasionally, mostly when we ski, and usually loves it. Dealing with her own separation anxiety was okay after a few times of sitting with her and explaining to her that I knew my "working" away from her made her sad but that she would have fun while I was gone and then I'd be back.

Do you think your daughter is ready for school? Will she be okay away from you for short periods of time (try to answer that unbiased and not has her mom)? Can she focus on things for short periods of time? Does she like to or try to do things for herself (and do you let her)? Do you think she's ready for socialization and for being around other children (the real reason for preschool after all)? Are *you* ready for her to go to school?

Either way, you won't do wrong. Put her in now and in the best case, she loves it, in the worst you pull her until later. Wait until September and the same could happen. You won't know the difference. Do what feels right and feel good about it.

2. On "Montessori" schools: Montessori philosophy allows the child to learn at his/her own pace, independently or in small groups about himself and his environment, in a comfortable child centered environment, for as long or as short as he wants to with any certain subject or material. AMI certified Montessori schools follow Dr. Montessori's research and teachings to a "T", only believe in full time (M-F) school where the children must have a 3 hour work cycle in the am (8:30-11:30) before they are allowed to run around outdoors. There is no option for going to school part time and only Montessori teachings are allowed. The teachers do not teach, rather guide the children along (hopefully, if trained to do so correctly) and present new materials when appropriate. Children are not allowed to use school materials unless they have received a presentation to do so. Montessori "Primary" classrooms are multi-aged from 2.5 yrs to 6 years, and Toddler classrooms from 1.5-3 yrs. Older children are expected to teach the younger ones how to do things.

Since Montessori is not trademarked, any school can set up and call themselves Montessori. For instance, the Montessori school my daughter will be attending uses Montessori materials but the children are segregated by age, snack, have music, circle time, etc. at specific times--all very un-Montessori philosophy. We are sending her to an uncertified Montessori school partly because we still want her to "learn" independently at her own pace, but we thought the AMI school was too hard core and partly because I don't want her going to school full time as a 2 year old. (Logistically, her school is only 1-2 min away from his future kindergarten and grammar school too.)

Bottom line about school is to make sure the school is right for you and your child, Montessori or not.

Best of luck to you and congratulations!

I just think it is too young. She should be home to get used to the baby. I have a 17 month old, and I couldn't imagine having her in a daycare when I am home (even with a new baby).
Good luck!

You probably want to avoid major changes that appear to be the baby taking her place. I'd either enroll her immediately or wait a few months after the baby is born.

I'd wait. She isn't even 2. Do you think she is going to learn at her age? I'd actually wait until she is 3 and potty trained.

I got my son going to preschool before my daughter was born and the result was terrific! I'd have all day to devote to my baby and hubby & son would come home in the late afternoon together so I could be focused on my son and hubby could take care of the baby. In our case it worked really well. Son was happy to be a "big boy" (we'd also moved him out of the nursery in to a "big boy" room with a "big boy bed" 2 months before our daughter was born). I never felt torn and conflicted about "neglecting" one for the sake of the other and (best of all) no problems of sibling rivalry ... at least not until they were both WAY older! (They're teens now)

I would definitely do it! You'll be so much more relaxed and able to focus on the new baby for some chunks of time while she's at school. It will definitely help you and it certainly won't hurt her. I would do it now without delay though so she doesn't feel like she's being shuttled away for the new baby.

My son was in daycare starting at 9 weeks old then started preschool at 2. He loved being with the other kids and he learned a lot from them and the teachers. He was also so used to being in school that he didn't cry when he went to kindergarten or first grade. I say try it out since it's only 1/2 day and if she doesn't do well then keep her home. But I think she'll like it and get a lot out of it... like learning to share which will come in handy with the new baby. Hope this helps. Good luck!