Should I Try for a 3Rd?

We had 2 girls and decided to try for a third. Yes, we were hoping for a boy. I got a book about trying to CHOOSE the sex of your baby. (It has to do with your ovulation, etc.) We tried things to "up" our chances of having a boy. But we also talked about it and my husband was totally okay if we ended up having another girl. Well, we got another girl! She is 3 yrs old now and is soooo delightful we can not imagine our lives without her! The three of them will be so glad to have one another as they get older. They are all about 3 years apart. Our lives are busy but very rewarding. Yes, it would have been nice to have a boy........ but I think you are blessed with what is meant for your family. And who knows......... we could end up with a bunch of grandSONS someday! Just be sure you and your husband talk about it in depth. You have to be ready to have a THIRD child........no matter what the sex is. If you ONLY want a boy then think again. Because nothing is for sure! 3 is busy, so you need to be ready and committed to them all. And we have not had ANY problems with having a family of 5. It is fun. Good luck! R.

Dear M. - Don't spend one second thinking about what others think, or getting a table at a restaurant, or money, or any of those other superficial and trivial things. This is up to you and your husband, and you are deciding whether or not to bring another human being into existence. Appearances and what others think has no place in that discussion.

We were planning on having 4 or 5 kids, kind of in an unspoken way, but after our first two (who are 2 yrs 2 mos apart) we moved out here and I was happy with where we were. No more diaper bag, sleeping through the night, etc. But there was still that expectation of having more that kept me thinking. Well, we did have our third, almost 4 years after #2, and we couldn't be happier with our new family. Now I'm thinking again - have a 4th soon for our 3rd to play with? Or wait a while again? Or might we be done? (I can't quite imagine not being pregnant again I love it so much, but I could see our current family as complete, so who knows!!)

Long story short, you have time to get the feeling back, if that's what you're waiting for, and if you don't want to wait - well, get yourself pregnant and I guarantee when you see that little wrinkled face you'll have no more doubts!

Blessings on your deliberations!
J.

I think the big question is: do you (or your husband) want a boy badly enough to have 3 girls?

Hi M.-

Wow you sound like me! Two girls and the hubby wants a BOY! Only difference is I want one too! hehe. But like you said there is NO guarantee you will get a BOY. But you can try. I would talk about it with the hubby. Tell him you guys can "try" for a baby boy and give it I dont know say 2 months or whatever you feel is a good time period for you to get pregnant. If you guys try and you dont get preggo after whatever time just tell hubby it wasnt meant to be. But if yo DO get preggo quickly it was meant to be! I know it sounds crazy having a third and the chance being a girl and you being dissapointed. But once that baby is born you wont care what it is! With my last baby I swore it was a BOY....finally 6 u/s later I finally said ok its another girl! we already had a girl so I was a little dissapointed but the day she was born I just fell in love. I couldnt imagine having a boy after my baby Emma. I think we get what we are supposed to have. My hubby and I are trying for a 3rd baby. We really hope we have a BOY but if we dont we will love another pink bundle! There are ways of increasing your chances for a BOY. I have heard some people say they work and others say no. But you could try! a good website i like is justmommies.com they have a message board for trying to conceive a specific gender. plus there is books too! but in the end what will be, WILL BE. Another thing to consider is do YOU feel your family is complete? or do you feel someone is missing.
That is how I feel. I love my husband and our 2 daughters but I just feel someone is missing, our family just isn't complete yet! Maybe that is how you are feeling and you do want another one (a boy) but you are being overwhelmed by the thought of 3 kids!! i love how you say you love your kids even though they drive you CRAZY! believe me mama you are not alone on this one. lol! my babies are almost 5 and my youngest just turned 1 and there are days I just want to scream and rip my hair out. But the end of the day I just love them so much and I wouldnt change them! I think you know what you want, you just have to figure out for yourself what that is and I think you feel someone is missing.....as the hubby does. Good luck to you and if you do try for another one I hope you get your boy!

~K.~

I don't know what your beliefs are, but this sounds like something you need to commit to prayer. This is such a big decision. Ask for God to help you make this decision together as a couple. Ask Him to guide you to the right decision for both of you and your family. This is something that you both need to be on the same page about. Make sure that you have all the communication necessary so that neither of you are jumping to any conclusions about the other. You are wise to consider other avenues to get a boy, if that is what you desire. Maybe your prayer could consist of opening your eyes and mind to the other alternatives available that both you and your husband feel good and at peace about. By doing this it may help make the decision for you. Either you’ll both love the idea or realize that you have the family that you want right now. Maybe your husbands’ heart will change and he will feel content with the family that you have now and/or using his desire to do “boy things” with other boys who so desperately need a male figure in their lives. Don't automatically think that it is your heart that needs to change, but also don't think that it is your husbands either. You are wise to realize that this isn't something to just decide on a whim. Continue to be honest with yourself and with your husband about your desires. If it is your heart that needs to change, ask for God to change it for you. He will if it needs to be. He can also change your husbands’ heart if that is what is best for your family. Trust Him. He’ll direct your path. May God continue to bless your family no matter what the decision!

In my personal opinion 2 is a perfect number. I had a third sibling and it really disrupted harmony between me and first sibling. 2 is company 3 is a crowd. Plus odds are you will have another girl.

Having a girl or boy doesn't mean they will be into the stereotype activities that you both imagine doing with them. Suppose you do go ahead and have another baby and suppose you actually get a boy, what makes you think he'll enjoy sports or ruffing around with you husband?
I know a woman who has one boy and four girls. They were hoping for another boy. The funny thing is that only the boy (who's the oldest) is quiet and into handcrafts. The girls are wild, active, and not able to sit still very long.
It's who the children are and their personalities that are important. I have two boys and they are completely different, but wonderful. Continue to enjoy what you have and let your husband embrace the two healthy children you have.

I have two girls also and was wanting another (boy) but my husband did not want another for all kinds of reasons. My girls do boy things with dad like camping and fishing. I want them to be girly girls be not be afraid of all the fun outdoor stuff. I feel that a girl should be taught that they can do anything that they put their mind to. Just the other day my daughter (age 9)and I were without my husband on a trip and I got stuck in the snow. I had to put on chains and she helped me. I had never put chains on before and she felt so proud that we did not need help from anyone else.

So my point is that you shoulnt have another baby unless you are both ready for it and that your husband can do all kinds of boy things with the girls. And that will give the girls and dad a very special bond.

Sorry one more thing, I think this is funny, my husband is going to take our girls to a bull riding thing this spring. I told him I am not going but he and the girls are going to make a day of it.

hope this helps and good luck

You have to decide what's most important. Is your husband's desire to have a boy greater than your desire to not have another child? Is your husband gonna be happy with 3 even if the 3rd is a girl?

Hi M.,

I can understand what you are feeling, on both sides of wanting for your husband and not wanting for yourself. The way I see things in my own life is that all children should be wanted by BOTH parents. If one is not on board for another baby then you should wait. There's no harm in waiting to see if your desire for another child comes along, but don't feel guilty for not wanting another now.

Good luck!

J.

Hi M.,

I just wanted to say that it really sounds like you do not want to have a third. That's what your words say. And it's best not to force another child into the mix if it's not what you want. Keep communicating with your husband about this, but do keep close to what you want from your family life.

Best,
L.

Try to think about how you would feel if you had two boys and were missing out on all the things you get to do with your girls. It is everything from playing ball, to Hot Wheel cars, to passing on his name, and just knowing that you have a little man that is kinda like his mini-me... he gets to pass on who he is and what he cares about.
No one can answer for you, but try to understand where your husband is coming from and just talk talk talk.

If you want another "child" have another child. If you want a boy.....well....my brother now has 5 girls. No guarantees here. He loves them all and wanted a big famiy anyway, but he hasn't had a boy yet, and I think they are done having kids. As for the 4 is great on vacations theory, well yes it is, but you will be home much more than on vacation, so if 5 people fit into your plans of home life, then that's more important. If you aren't sure right now about a 3rd, then wait until you both want one. Here's a website also:
www.choosethesexofyourbaby.com

What does your husband want? Have you asked him? Four is nice, but I always say in a circle there is always room for one more.

My daughter is the outdoor, sports oriented, tough, although slim and good looking one, while my son is the bookish, thoughtful, minister. But spent hours outside as children and have generous hearts and minds. So you never know what you will get.

Good luck in making your decision.