My daughter is turning 15 next month, and was recently diagnosed with severe ADHD. It did not come as a surprise to me or her friends because she is very hyper, doesn't sit still, and has much trouble paying attention. She is naturally very smart. She started high school this year and has had much more work than before. She tries really hard to get good grades and is in all honors classes. However, she must re-teach herself after school precious lessons, because she cannot sit still. She is struggling greatly and often takes her anger out on me. She cannot sleep well because she simply won't try to fall asleep in bed she doesn't even need an alarm clock because she does not like being in bed whether morning or night.
The reason I do not want to put her on medicine, like the Dr. suggested, is because I know someone who lost their personalty on medications. And, I just dont want that to happen to my daughter. She was voted Most Humours. She is a crazy individual! I love her so much and want the best for her!
I was going to answer this "first question" I just can't. Sorry but everyone I love has ADHD and are on medications. Nothing you said makes any sense in regard to the disorder.
She's 15 and has gone this long with "severe ADHD"? If she had severe diabetes, would you deny her insulin? There are many medications out there. I know several people from high school who were total train wrecks until they got diagnosed and got on proper medications.
If someone "lost their personality", it wasn't the right medication for them. Plus, it leaves your system in 12 hours (stimulants), so their would be no effects after that. My DD ans DH are both on stimulants for ADHD and are still the wonderful, funny, smart people they have always been. Please don't deny your child the medication she needs to control a neurological condition.
Only you can make that decision. I can tell you that my son is 9 and has adhd. He takes concerta and has been since kindergarten (he's in 3rd grade now). I wouldn't consider taking him off meds because he struggles so much without it. I want him to succeed in school and in life experiences and he simply can't unmedicated. He didn't lose his personality on it, but he is much more mellow during the day while it's effective. He also has sleeping problems, which I attribute to the adhd. We give him melatonin at night and sometimes he still lays awake for hours unable to fall asleep. And he's always the first one up. You have to decide what's best for your daughter regarding medication, but you might also look into a 504 Plan or IEP at school. I do have to admit, I'm surprised she's 15 and just now being diagnosed as severe adhd. How did she manage through grade school? At any rate, good luck!
Well, do you want her to be able to do school and learn or do you want her to continue suffering?
Have you tried more "natural" remedies like diet (get rid of artificial colors, artificial flavors and preservatives), yoga, tai chi, meditation. If not, you could try those first. Also, melatonin may help her fall asleep (that is what our body naturally produces to fall asleep). My daughter's high school has peer tutoring. Does your daughter's high school have something like that where she can get some help from other students? Or check with the school to see if they have suggestions or resources.
If you are hesitant to use medication (and I do not blame you one bit for that) try other options and see what works.
Best of luck!
"Lost their personality" on medications? Okay, if someone is on the right medication and the right dosage of the right medication then it will enable them to focus and live in a way that allows them to function properly across all areas of their life. My eldest daughter was diagnosed during her 6th grade year near the end of the school year.. the year she turned 11... and she just turned 13. I had the same fears you did but I swear that having this tool (Concerta in our case) has been a miracle. It was like finally meeting a functioning version of my daughter. She THANKS me frequently for getting her the diagnosis and keeping her on track with her meds while we also keep her on track with a Feingold Diet and constant back-up and guidance and teaching with organizational skills.
Organization and focusing and all of the related issues won't ever come naturally to her, but this has been a major blessing for us to have the Concerta. It really humbled me. Especially when I have a child that's built like me and is so organized naturally that she's OCD about it and I thought I had failed at parenting.
"Should" you put your daughter on medication? I can't really tell you that. I can only tell you that I honestly think you shouldn't rule it out as an option. I also think that you need to bring your daughter in on the decision and see how she feels. My daughter BEGGED me for an evaluation, and BEGGED me to just try a medication to see if it would help. Knowing we could stop at any time and not cause damage one way or the other was reassuring. We also have a wonderful pediatric neurologist that sees her anywhere between every month but no later than every three months. She gets a full physical every visit. The doctor gets updates from teachers, her 504 plan, home behaviors, and if my other daughters are present she even asks the how their big sister is doing. She speaks directly to my daughter and includes her in the conversations.
S., I think you are jumping to conclusions about the negative effects of this particular medication.
There is no harm in giving it a try, and monitoring her for a few weeks to see how she improves or not.
Then with actual data points determine if her personality is different.
The ADHD that runs in our family, and the ones who choose to medicate, are really great, nice, people and often a lot calmer, nicer, more focused and less agitated around everyone. I would venture to say that the meds literally improve the personality traits.
S.,
I think you have a tremendous fear around medication, but your daughter is very obviously struggling. Please, for her sake, get her the medication she needs. If you feel like a second opinion would be helpful, certainly do that.
Understand that for many people reading this, *your* issues and desires are getting in the way of getting help your daughter desperately needs. Having to re-teach herself lessons, not being able to sleep, not being able to relax--- can YOU imagine living like that? Can you imagine your own parent not getting help for you because you might not be as much fun or that your 'crazy individual' personality which is so enjoyable for them is more important than your ability to function? Think long and hard about that one. Medication can be adjusted, and sometimes this is admittedly a hard road for parents. But consider the long-term consequences of not getting her medical help; she is going to have a much harder time in college and as an adult. Let her get some help in medication form and gain some tools for continuing to learn and grow. This is a GOOD way to support her.
Sometimes what we love so much about other people's personalities are exactly what makes their own life difficult. People losing their personality on meds-- sometimes, we do seem marked personality changes when people take medication for brain chemistry issues. But one other person's experience is no reason NOT to get your daughter help. Don't you owe it to her to at least TRY?!
Taking medications for ADHD will not take away the personality, if someone told you this, that's a bunch of BS. If you are on the right medications, I think you will see your daughter's true self, at least more loving and less angry. My sons are on medications and it's the best thing I ever did. Don't get me wrong, I was very worried too when they were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. But, I rather see a smile on my sons faces then to have a teacher telling me my children are so frustrated that they were literally hittng their head on the desks. My children are very intelligent too. But, they told me it's like concentrating with 20 people talking at once. They were D students and are now straight A's. They went from hating school to like going to school. My nephew has it too, and his mother didn't want him on medications. He got kicked out of the Air Force, married and divorced three women and has two children with different mommas and he is only 23. Trust the doctor, if you have a good one, to takes about a month to get the right mediacation as long as your daughter communicates it quicker.
To the people who changed the diet, it doesn't always work, it depends on the individual. My children also take omega 3's, but the medications are needed. The teachers doesn't diagnose ADHD, the doctors do.
Have you tried a modified diet? Gluten Free etc..
Have you tried acupuncture? ( it is with out needles. my 5 year old does this).
We are doing Gluten free, No milk, Dye free and added in the acupuncture.. huge positive change for us.
Are you sure hyperthyroid isn't a part of this?
Not being able to sit still and not sleeping well are signs of it.
I hope she's been tested for that.
There are many medications to try.
A low dose of something might be able to take the edge off, help her get some sleep and help her concentration on her school work.
Struggling greatly and taking her anger out on you are not signs of a happy child.
Please help her.
Regardless of how you feel about medication, it might be what she needs but you won't know until you try.
Maybe she's taking her anger out on you, because you are stopping her from getting meds that will help her. She is struggling and you're not doing anything to help her, despite medical advice.
Nothing says that if the meds make her "lose herself" that she has to continue to take them. It won't hurt to try; she has nothing to lose and everything to gain.
At 15 she can have some input, and tell you (if you try them) if it makes a difference. A good resource for you to check out is ADDitude magazine www.additudemag.com They have a series of free webinars that give many good tips for parents of kids with ADD.
I urge you to find some ADHD boards and get some answers there. You're reaching the general public here and you're not going to always hear from people with any remote understanding of the intricacies of ADHD and medication. You'll get a lot of garbage about "overdiagnosis" and "natural" cure-alls. You need to find people who are in the same boat, who live and breath this condition every day.
A great starting point is ADDitude magazine and CHADD. Daily Strength also has boards devoted to ADHD.
As the others here experienced with ADHD have noted, medication will NOT change her personality in any way. If it does, the dosage is too high. If she's seeing a specialist to manage oversight of medication, that won't be an issue, because specialists will start off with small dosages and work up. The medication simply connects the dots in her brain to help her have normal focus and behavior.
Seriously if she made it this far, why now? Just take her to Starbucks for a grande every morning.
How did she get this far. Severe ADHD? She is at an age where she can really channel the extra energy. Just does not sound right.
There was an article in the Chicago Trib yesterday re: the over-medication of children and how quick we are to identify kids as having a condition whereas before it was just how the kid was. The article basically said that teachers and parents are expecting a certain kind of kid - quiet, focused, etc - and if they aren't that way they have a "problem" and are medicated. My daughter just started HS and has been surprised at the level of homework and she is not in honors classes. It's a big change. She has had times where she is panicked at the studying involved and there is a lot of pressure to get good grades. Last week my daughter was in tears because she failed a physics test. She was convinced that everybody understands everything and that she is not smart enough. So I think that HS requires a major adjustment period. Also my daughter sometimes has a hard time getting to sleep - As kids enter the teen years they shift into staying up later and sleeping later. It's a natural occurrence and it happens to many kids. Keep in mind you can try the medicine and always take her off if she's too out of it. Good-luck.
