Should My Husband Quit His Minimum-wage Job to Start His Own Business?

Updated on March 10, 2011
C.B. asks from Lomita, CA
27 answers

Help!! I am married with two young children (8 and 6), and I am currently staying at home with them (they are home-schooled). We moved to California because my parents offered to let us stay with them rent-free while I try to go back to school and become a nurse (which hasn't happened yet because competition is so high). My husband currently makes minimum wage at a grocery store where they treat him like dirt (and he has a college degree, which makes it even harder on him that he makes so little money). It is currently our only source of income. He is ready to quit this crappy job and start his own business, but I am freaked out by the idea of him quitting right now. I know that if the business works, he'd be really great at it because he's smart and really hard-working, but I'm afraid that, since the economy is so bad right now, if it doesn't work then neither of us will have a job or any income. Am I being selfish in wanting him to stay at a terrible job that barely makes any money? Should I support him in his desire to be self-employed? I'm trying to be supportive, but I can't get rid of these feelings of panic and anxiety. Anyone with any thoughts on this would be very helpful. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

First of all, I am truly amazed at how many responses I got and how quickly I got them--thank you! This is my first time posting a question on this site (I signed up for an account literally minutes before I posted the question), so I wasn't sure what to expect. Thanks everyone for your input and advice. It helps a bit in calming my panic and anxiety about this whole situation.

My husband and I will definitely be talking more about our long-term plans; I'm thinking that I will try to find a part-time job right now and let him quit to start his business (after we've saved up enough money). Our unique situation of living with my parents makes this a great time for him to try being self-employed, and I think we need to take the chance while we still can. The job he currently has does not provide health care or any benefits of any kind, so really it's not a permanent place for him to be. I think the most important thing for me to do is to let him know that I do support him, and that if we work together on a plan then it should work out for the best. I'll keep you posted, and if anyone else has any experiences to share I would love to hear them. Thanks!

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G.T.

answers from San Francisco on

If he really wants to start the business, then I would suggest -- while he's still working -- to write up a really good business plan. It will be a map of how long he thinks it will take to get going, how much money it will cost to start it up, how much $ he'll make off of it, how he's going to manage it, market it, finance it, etc.

He can get free help at SCORE.org (both in person or online). They can help him write the plan and review his work and tell him if they think it's good or not.

THEN, you can review that final plan and make a more informed decision of how you feel about this. Writing a business plan is a lot of work. If he can make it through all that and is still excited about it...and if then you look at it and feel good about it then you have a better place to start this conversation.

Best of luck in whatever you two decide.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

As a former business owner myself, I would keep the job AND start the business. Re-work his schedule so that he can do both jobs. Starting a business is extremely hard especially if you are starting it from the ground up vs buying an existing business and the extra income is nice and sometimes neccessary.

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you should be supportive. If there ever is a time, sounds like you have found it, now, while you have the help from your parents.

~Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Can he work at his crappy job while getting things in the works for the other opportunity?
It's impossible to live on minimum wage in California. There are no two ways about it. But, maybe he can get the wheels in motion to get things set up for his business idea.
I know being home with the kids is important, but you might have to find a way for you to bring some income in as well while he gets his plan in motion. Being self employed can be awesome, but it also takes a while to get on your feet and have income coming in.
You don't mention what he intends to do so it's hard to give an opinion on whether it's a sound venture or not, but if you believe in it, like I said, you might have to make some sacrifices too in order to make it happen.
There are only two ways this can go.
He can continue earning minimum wage and you can struggle.
Or, he can keep trying to find other work which may or may not happen.
He can work and use his spare time which is likely very little to work on his business and you can help by trying to bring some money in as well as he does this.
No one starts a business and just has money rolling in immediately. It takes careful planning, it takes work, it takes some investment capital, even if you have to borrow it.
It is scary, but think of your lives in 5 years on the minimum wage train.
It is really, really hard to go to work every day and work your hiney off knowing you will never earn more than $8 an hour. You can really get burnt out and feel like giving up.
The first thing to do is try to get more money coming in and have a plan so that being self employed isn't just like jumping off a bridge with no safety net.
I would have him contact the small business administration to get information on what is necessary to become self employed, etc. You have to pay your own taxes, you're responsible for everything. That can be an upside and a downside.
He should talk to people and discuss his specific plan and idea and see what advice they can give him.
It might take both of you working at that a bit in order to come out on the other side.

I wish you the best.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

So hard to answer this question, C. … the risks are great, the possible rewards are also great.

It might depend on what business he intends to start. Is there a demand for it in the area? Does he have experience in the field? Does he have a business plan? Is it possible to start small with minimal outlay? Could he start with a part-time effort and keep his job for awhile? Does he have a potential customer list? How does he intend to inform the public that his business exists? How much competition does he face? Would it be possible to do a little test marketing before committing? How much would start-up cost? Would he need to hire employees? How long could his business survive on your current savings if it's slow to attract customers? Could he qualify for a business loan? Would you be able to assist him?

Every business will grow differently, but here's my story: My husband started his own publishing house a couple of years before I met him. It was a VERY slow start, and he used a small inheritance to rent a bedroom and garage space for his inventory in a friend's home, and lived on beans and rice. After about 3 years sales were meeting costs. I met him and became his illustrator (and eventually, his wife). A few years later, and he was showing a very small profit.

We have been living on a tiny income for our whole married lives (29 years this month!) but fortunately for the business and for us, we love our work, so it is very satisfying. We work long hours most of the time, but do get to arrange our workweek as it suits our other plans. We are constantly adapting to fit the times, and the learning curve is both agonizing and rewarding. So there are benefits, and sacrifices.

I would recommend sitting down with your husband and asking as many questions like those above that you can think of. Whichever way you go, I sure do wish you the best.

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K.M.

answers from San Diego on

I just read a couple of the posts below and completely agree. I started my consulting business 11years ago. My business grew really quickly and it still took 3 years to be profitable (that doesn't mean I could have supported our family! It just means we made more than we spent). It took a good 5 years before the business was at a level that generated a good income for our family)

In the meantime, my husband paid ALL of our bills while I grew my business. At about a year and a half, I almost threw in the towel because I was not making any money and was spending money to grow my business. Because we could afford me not making any money and he could even invest in my business, he encouraged me to stick it out for 6 more months - it was good advice and fortunately he was supportive (which was easy given he had a great, high paying job that easily covered our expenses).

Start trying to save money &/or get investors. Maybe he could get a job at the same type of business he is trying to start on his own, that would teach him a lot while someone else is paying! Good luck, all my best to you and yours.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

To start a legetimate business, he needs money. He needs to hire an attorney, form a corporation so that if/when it fails you are not personally responsible for the debets, buy insurance, buy product, hire and train employees, find a place to work, advertise, remodel, .....
How could he ever afford this on minimum wage? Plus, he has 2 young children who need to see their dad right now. I can't see it.
Once we have kids, the dreaming is put on hold.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

C.B.

If he has an idea that will make money for the family - DO IT. Why hold him back? If he has a dream and CAN DO IT - DO IT. You are in a great situation where you don't have to worry about a mortgage payment...if there is no capital required for this business - something he can start on - do it....

Compromise - if the business he wants to start can be done at any hour - have him keep his "day job" until he gets some regular customers. And then he can quit.

I understand you being freaked out!! however, if he has the talent to start his own business - GO FOR IT!!! A few years back, my husband told me he wanted to become a consultant and be his own CEO. I told him we would downsize and make it work. he chose not to do it - but it was HIS choice - I totally supported him on this. That was enough for him - that I supported him.

TALK ABOUT IT!! Don't yell and scream. don't let panic take control. Be rational and listen to his idea(s) and how he wants to do this business. Ask these questions:
Does he have a business plan?
Is the market inundated with his idea?
How long does he anticipate the business to get off the ground?
What capital does he expect to need to get the business started?
What other costs are entailed in starting this business?
Does he have the commitment to carry this through? Starting a business is scary stuff. I've been on the ground floor of a firm as well - that is now flourishing - it took 2 years to get it going...but I've been able to see it grow!

DO NOT PANIC!! DO NOT LET ANXIETY TAKE OVER!! LISTEN! COMMUNICATE!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!

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M.K.

answers from San Diego on

Currently my husband is working on writing his first novel and I am bringing in all of the income with my own business. We are also expecting our second child in August. Certainly I am confronted with feelings of "how in the world is this going to work when the baby comes and I am making all the money?". But we have been living this way for so long, I just know things will work out. When we were pregnant with our first we were on a plane returning to the states from living in New Zealand. We had no job prospects or money. Within a few months everything was not only fine, it was amazingly great.

Panic and anxiety are just that: feelings. Believe it or not you can learn to be comfortable with the unknowns of following a dream.

Take the leap of faith...it's worth it....I know!

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

I think this is a real bad economy in which to leave any job but having a sister with a college degree who worked in grocery stores for the first decade (okay more than that) which she was out of college I know those jobs can be awful. I think that having a VERY solid plan is key to making a business work and knowing that there is a demand for what you offer is the first part of the equation here. I have a brother in law who has been trying to have his own business for almost 6 years now and I think part of his problem is that he has not picked recession resistent goods and services to offer (nice but not necessary items) and he also (while being a hard worker) is a person who forces his view on others and is not good at letting people see how good of a job he can do but instead forcing his opinion on what they need and want (according to him) down their throats. If his current job does have any benefits worth considering including employee discounts and partial or full payment of any insurances he should consider staying until he establishes his business. It is also an absolute must that he get all his ducks in a row as far as licensing and becoming incorporated before he starts advertising to ensure he is not shut down as soon as he gets started. I think having a self starter attitude is a great thing and it can be a good thing for one's family too but I understand where you are coming from under your circumstances

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It takes a LOT of work to start a business and make money. In the mean time, maybe he can do both. He'll be super busy, but it's a safer route to go, especially if he has any benefits from his job (especially health insurance).

My BIL quit a "crappy" job to start a business, which fizzled. He's finally (almost 2 years later) getting something going, but things have been REALLY tough on them in the mean time. They've had to rely on family help as well as govt aid (food stamps, medicaid) to get by. He really felt, and still believes, it was the best idea.

Just help your hubby remember that "starting your own business" doesn't mean quick money.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ok, so I can't tell you what to do....ultimately this is your decision.
My SO wants to start his own business too.
Here's what we came up with.
Step #1) Work on finding a higher paying job. Yeah it takes time, but it doesn't hurt to put your app out there and try. So far he's gotten a couple bites, and a few interviews. Thankfully his job has a good network and he knows a lot of people.
Step #2) After he gets a better paying job we will write up a business plan, start looking at locations, possible partners, talk to lawyers, cost of /different sources of advertising, competitive rates the athe area, etc. AND put aside a certain percentage of his checks for start up money and initial costs.
Step#3) Open the business.
I have no problem supporting my SO's dream, even in this economy. My fear is, loosing our house. Mortgage comes first, and he agrees. It'll happen one day, but we need to get all our ducks in a row.
Good Luck with your decision.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

ok-so-to start a business, you will need a plan-and seed money-where is that coming from? Will you need a small business loan? Have you researched your demographic? He has a degree? Great-sharpen your pencils and come up with the presentation-if someone believes in you-they will back your idea. In the meantime-keep the crappy job. There is an old adage-"If you work you eat and if you eat, you live." For now he is in the grocery business and you are living in California-could he use his experience to work-say- in a small, specialty restaurant/wine shopcafe, etc? Good luck -don't give up! God bless you!

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A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

Is there any way he can still work, and start up his business on the side? I know it's freaking hard, because that is exactly what I'm doing. My husband and I are both working about 20 hours a week on my new business idea (not even sure if we will have much profits, it is a pretty small niche), and we both work part time (this is all we can get right now). We switch off watching my son, and he does go to a babysitter a few mornings away, otherwise I would never get any work done. It has been super stressful for the last month or two because we are both always working. Sometimes I just want to quit, but I have put so much money and time in already. Anyway, it would be a lot less stressful if my husband could just work on my stuff and quit his low paying job (although he does like what he does), but that won't happen until I know I can actually make some money and know if it will work. We need the money he makes to survive, even though it isn't a lot. I think your husband should try to start his business, but should keep his job and let that help motivate him to get his business up and running. You guys need to make some money, even if only covers food and basics.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Nursing is probably still one of the most in-demand professions. Hopefully, you will be able to find a position soon. I think you should find a steady-paying job (with health benefits) first before your husband completely quits his current job to start his own business. As many posters have noted below, any start-up business takes a lot of work and time to make any profit. I really believe your family needs some regular, reliable income before you embark on the new venture. Good luck!

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

My husband would love to be self-employed (who wouldn't!. He won't be starting his own business anytime soon.

Without at least 6-12 months start up capital, you really shouldn't even try to start your own company. He also needs a business plan. Tell him you will support him, but only after he has truly done the necessary prep work to start your own company.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Lots of people, start their own business.. but keep their day jobs initially. Just to survive. AND they have, adequate savings or other streams of income... to subsist on.

You/him/the kids, STILL need to survive.

What he can do is, get a job in the field that he wants to start his own business. Get experience. Make contacts. Network. Build a reputation.
Be... smart about it. Not putting you/your family... into starvation mode. Financially or living wise.

He is college educated... he can look for other jobs.
But, you ALSO NEED medical and dental insurance. Which a full-time job... provides.
And that is crucial... for any family to have.

He has to THINK about not only him... but his wife and kids.
AND keeping them insured, as well. For basic health needs/emergencies.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

WOW! A lot of good responses here. Ok, your husband is miserable, you live with your parents, you homeschool, you are waiting for a nursing job...how would your parents feel if he quit his job to start his own business? Hopefully they are included in this discussion. Is it possible for him to work at the store & start his own business at the same time? Any effort he puts toward his own business is a step for him to get out of that job that is making him miserable, so you will see a less-miserable, motivated man & that's always good. Would you consider putting your children in public school just for a little while so that you could look for work, either in the medical field (office) or anything to add to your husband's income, to lessen the stress you are feeling? I don't think yours is a Yes or No question. It is going to take several discussions and some real planning, and perhaps some TEMPORARY changes in your lives and lifestyle overall. Best of luck to all of you! Please do keep us posted. B.

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Here's the deal...starting your own business can be GREAT and I myself have been working to launch my real estate business (I'm a realtor). But, it's not easy...For me, I've been doing both...I work my normal job and work my real estate business and I'm close to being able to switch to real estate soley, but for me, I can't give up the income now. It's hard and there are days I want to just run, hide and SLEEP, but it's my goal, so I'm willing to make my life crazy in the short run to make my life and my family's life better in the long run. My vote...start your own business, but keep the day job until you've got that business supporting you in some manner.

-M

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S.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, you've gotten a lot of great answers. There are some alternatives. Perhaps you can put your kids back in school and start working part time. There is a lot of competition for all jobs but that is not an excuse to not look, then maybe you would have the full time job. You could start working at a job that is not in your field just to start bringing money in. Perhaps as others mentioned, your husband could start his business on the side while still working full time or he could go to part time and start it. If it doesn't work, there will probably be another minimum wage job with his name on it. In the mean time, while you must be feeling a level of fear, your husband probably just needs to know that you support him and his vision. You need to work togehter in partnership and come up with workable alternatives for your family. You haven't mentioned what the business is or what it will take to start it or if he has a plan in place. No matter how much advice you get, the decision lies with both of you. Talk to your husband and explain your fears.

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S.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hi C.B.,

I haven't read any of the other responses, so I apologize if I'm being repetitive.

First, your anxiety and panic are warranted. This doesn't mean you're not being supportive, you're just scared - that's normal. You need to really sit down with your husband (and possibly your parents too since you all live there and they should have a say in this as well) and explain your feelings while also honoring his feelings and letting him know you understand that he's miserable.

Second, has your husband written out a business plan? Has he done the research to know what his potential success would be in this new venture? Has he done the research to know what the start-up costs would be? Do you have the money for said start-up costs. You are living at your parent's house now, is he and they willing to wait while his business gets off the ground? Has he done the research to know how long it generally takes for this type of business to turn a profit AND for him to start getting paid from it? Will he require employees in order to start making a profit? Has he researched the legal issues surrounding this business - business license, fictiousous name; will he be a sole proprietor, LLC, S-Corp, etc. (has he researched the liability issues that go with each of these types of business entities). And, all of the other many questions and research that go into starting a business (marketing, websites, credit cards, etc.). Starting a business is much more than just hanging out your shingle and it working. You said he's a smart and college educated man, but the best of us can get really excited about something and be so miserable that we forget about the practicalities. SCORE is a great (free) resource run by retired CEOs, CFOs, etc. that help people get all of these questions answered, so you/he should really look into it.

Will he require your or anyone's else's help to get everything set up? Have you asked him how he would like you to support him?

Finally, if all of these questions have been answered to everyone's satisfaction and you're all ready to take the leap, is it possible for him to start the business while still working?

And, finally finally;) Best of luck to both of you! Whatever it is you set out to do is possible. By setting a goal and following it with practical action and perserverance, you are bound to succeed - this does not mean you may not have small failures along the way, but if you continually make smart, informed decisions, and follow your dream, everything will work out exactly as it should.

-S.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Do you know that it takes a small business FIVE years to actually "get going"? Are you prepared for that?
Perhaps the answer lies somewhere in the middle.
What if you get going on school, land a job THEN your hubby launches his plan? His plan might require some overlap of a "steady" (however small" income PLUS beginning his business.

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, not to be a downer, statistics have shown that it takes about 5 years to earn a profit and 95% of new businesses fail in the first 5 years.

In saying that, he could certainly start a business while working as long as he has your full support. Starting a new business is very time consuming. Does he have a plan for what he wants? A specific business? where will it be located? Who is the target market?

There are some internet based buisness that are very legitimate that you could do together. These are usually cost effective to get started and can be done from home, meaning little overhead costs. I have been doing a home based business for 7 years now, I work on the phone and internet, the cost to get started is only $29. I am not replying to promote what I do, just to give you another option or even something you could do to help bring in extra income. My kids are 16,14 and 8, and I work around their various activites and love being able to take them to activities, be there after school and homework. If you are interested, my website is www.LiveYourDreamsAtHome.com

S.

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C.A.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Before he quits his current job he needs to have his new job up and running as much as possible. He will need to work nights and weekends on his own business until it is well built and then he can quit his current job.

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

I hear that he's miseable and that has got to be really hard to see, however until you are working with a high income, he is the bread winner and needs to make sure that money is coming in to support the family. Hoppefully you will be able to get a good RN job soon and can put away a year of money, then he can quit. Maybe knowing that you have a plan will make it easier for him to suck it up for another year.

Good luck!

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B.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Let him follow his dream. You will always regret it if you don't. You are
so lucky to have a free place to stay. Perhaps you could find a job, or
think of something to do to help. Why not take a course or two in business
as he gets started. Use this opportunity you now have for free housing.

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J.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I think it is a great that he is motivated and has the skills and ambition to start is his own company. I would definitely pursue that dream, but make sure you have enough savings to live off of for 1 year minimum, 3 years ideal. It will be very hard to see $ the first few years- especially enough money to support a whole family. Good luck!

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