Here is the situation: My husband and I live in a 2 bedroom duplex. We hope to buy a home maybe in the next year or so, but in the meantime, we have a 2 1/2 year old boy who is in the small bedroom, and an 8 1/2 month old boy who sleeps in his pack-n-play in our bedroom. My older boy started sleeping perfectly when we moved him into his own room at 6 1/2 months, so I am pretty sure the baby will stop waking up if he is sleeping on his own. He only wakes up a couple of times and comfort nurses for a minute before falling asleep again, or just needs the pacifier reinserted. This is getting exhausting but we are afraid of moving the boys in together. My toddler has a tendency to pile things on the baby's head so we have this paranoia that we might find the baby smothered under a pile of bedding and pillows some morning. We also are pretty sure what little sleep we get now will end as soon as we begin this transition. There are only a few feet between our doors, so we don't have a monitor, but we have actually considered putting the pack-n-play downstairs with a monitor and letting the baby sleep in the living area on his own so he can rest better. Has anyone else had this issue with two young ones in a two bedroom? Should we just deal with the interrupted sleep for now and hold out in hopes of a multiple bedroom home, or should we figure out some way to try to get the boys to sleep in the same room? Should I start by having them nap together (although that is rarely at the same time) to get them used to being in the same room, and go from there? I think we could manage him in our room a little longer, but none of us are sleeping soundly anymore. Thanks in advance!
Amendment:
We have a crib in the kids' bedroom that my older boy was in (we never removed it, just rearranged when he went to a twin bed). My 2-year-old does sleep well and sometimes stays up after we put him down reading to himself but he has always fallen asleep in his bed and he stays in his room and knocks on the door when he wants out in the morning. The baby is crawling and holding himself up on things. The pack-n-play was used with the bassinet top in our bedroom after the baby outgrew the little bassinet (by 4 months) and we just moved it to the bottom setting intending to move him out earlier. Thanks for the advice so far!
We have a two-bedroom and kids 11 months apart. We moved my daughter in with my son when she was about 6 months old and there were no problems. They got used to eachother in no time and now have trouble sleeping apart.
My opinion is yes! You can talk with your older boy and tell him that it is not safe to put anything in the pack-n-play. That's a rule and that's the way it is!!! Also, an 8-1/2 month old 'should' be able shake off anything that is blocking him from breathing. I had my daughter and son share a room for awhile while re-doing my son's floor. They bonded so nicely they did not want to seperate when the floor was finished. => It was very precious.
Anything that lets mom get a good night sleep is worth pursuing, because a well-rested mommy is happy and a happy mommy is a nice mommy. =>
Yes, I would move him. We just moved our 11 month old into her own room (finally) and I wish we did it earlier. I loved having her in my room (and sneaking into bed in the early hours), but wow, what a difference having her in her own room -- she sleeps better, we sleep better, and we are in SUCH better moods.
As far as your other son, he needs to be taught not to throw things in a playpen, and I would also get a crib tent, like someone else mentioned. And, if you're concerned, borrow a video monitor from someone, if you can, just to keep an eye on them....but just for a few days.
You don't mention why you have the baby in the pack n play. He should really be in a crib.He would definately sleep alot better. It would be alot more comfortable. Pack n plays aren't meant for sleeping everynight. Also, you should really get the monitor, even if the bedrooms are only a few feet from each other. It's better to have piece of mind.
I can't give too much advice, because I am not due with boy number 2 until this August (YAY!), but I wouldn't worry about the smothering. At 8.5 months old he is probably crawling--he would just move away from any threat to his breathing. He is strong enough now that he would cry out for you if he needed it.
Hi,
We moved our 7-month-old in with our 3 1/2 year old and to our surprise both slept better. You might consider one of those bed tents that are supposed to keep kids from climbing OUT of the crib, to prevent your older son putting things in/on the baby. There has been a lot of give-and-take in adjusting the bedtime routine -- who goes to sleep first, what light/music works for both, how many parents does it take to get both ready for bed, etc. But it's worked well for us. Good luck with whatever you do!
Peace,
Wendolyn
Get the baby out of the pack and play, as it's not for long-term sleep. And stop comfort nursing, you're exhausting yourself for nothing! Move both kids in together on a Friday night, and maybe you'll have 1 rough weekend of adjusting, but both should sleep better, just knowing the other is there with him. Plus, do it now, and you'll have your boys grow up with a closer bond than if they have separate rooms for life.
I had my son in our room in a bassinet for longer than I should have (waiting until new floors were put down in his room), but he was so much happier once he got into his crib -- and that was several months younger than your son is now. Do you have a crib for him? It would be more difficult for your older son to get pillows and bedding in between the slats of a crib vs. just dropping them into a pack-in-play. I would be worried about that too, although at this point, unless your older son is holding the pillows down on his head, an 8-month-old should be able to move himself away from them. Also, it sounds like your older son is in a big-boy bed, and that's how he would be able to do this... could you set up some sort of reward system to get him to stay in his bed until you come in in the morning? Make up a sticker chart and give him a sticker each morning when you go in and find him on his bed and nothing in the baby's pnp. Can you hear when he gets up and moves around the room? If not, then maybe you want to get a monitor so you can hear more subtle sounds like him moving quietly around the room. I think you're right that it's time to move the baby out of your room, but it sounds like you might want to make a few modifications to the current set-up in order to keep your baby safe and give you peace of mind so you can actually sleep. Good luck!
Hi M.,
I would put the baby in a regular crib with one of those crib tents to keep the toddler from putting stuff in his crib. When my youngest was a baby, he slept so much better in his crib. I didnt' want to do it, because I didn't want to get out of bed to feed on worknights, and was cosleeping, but he was the breathiest, snortiest, noisiest baby and kept me awake too much so at 3 months, he was out of the cosleeper in our room, first in the pack n play in the living room and then in his crib in his own room and he did sleep much better (or should I say, I slept much better!)
Hi M.,
I would not do it just yet. Especially since the older one is throwing things in his play pin and has to be watched, the baby could accidently sufficate. I have the same problem, my son sleeps with me because we are selling our house and my daughter room is so small that a toddler bed will only make it look even smaller. So until September, if the house does not sell and we take it off the market is when we are getting them a new twin bed set for them. Good Luck! :)
had 2 children (now ages 14yrs and 9 yrs) and NEVER did we have either of them ever sleeping in our room with us.
they are very well adjusted, and not clingy.
