Shower Age

My sons are 5 and 8, and they both shower on their own. I will sometimes help the five year old with washing his hair as he has a little trouble getting the shampoo all over, and then rinsing properly. Apart from that they do it all themselves, they do a very good job too.
I think if a ten year old is aksing for privacy then that should be respected by her M..

It's weird, definitely, especially since her daughter wants to shower by herself. What reason does your friend have for this, why is she telling you?

Yes, there is something wrong with feeling as if you have to bathe your 10 year old when your 10 year old is begging for some privacy and control of her own body! My goodness, she's a preteen now! (BTW, my daughter is half her age (5.5) and has successfully mastered showering on her own just a few months ago)

Yes, if the daughter wants privacy she should be given it, she is no longer a baby. My boys are 5 and 7 and they both bath themselves and do a good job.

Either M.'s super controlling/ untrusting... from a culture where it's considered a sign of respect for someone else to "take care of them" (aka kids who are loved are cleansed either by servants or parents)...or her daughter is reaping the rewards from not listening / cleaning herself. Many kids end up under parental supervision after time without because they neglect their hygiene.

The culture thing occasionally crops up when least expected. I have friends from a certain part of africa who are horrified that children do their own hair / bathe themselves. "Does nobody LOVE the poor child?" Another set of friends came from a very wealthy background, but no longer are, so the mum bathes, oils, does the hair of her children since they cannot afford the stylists she grew up with and she doesn't want her children shorted just because they can't afford professionals like she had.

OMG! A ten year old is very capable of bathing or showering herself! Your friend needs to get a grip!

my kids started showering by their selves at about 6 yrs, i felt more comfortable having them shower than taking a bath (less chance of drowning that a bath)

Still at 10 years old?! I think there is something wrong. Did you ever ask her why she still does it? I would and just figure it out from there.

Yeah, I would say around 7-8 depending on the child's mental ability to understand water safety and what needs to be done bathing is a primarily solo activity.

I'm not sure why she is still assisting her daughter bathe. Her daughter is plenty old enough to take care of her own hygiene and deserves some privacy. Even if the girl has not been getting herself clean enough she still deserves the opportunity to work at it.

I know with my daughters I will sometimes ask them while they are finishing up if they made sure to wash their feet, their bum, etc. I still let them do it and I give them their privacy. I really don't have to monitor them any longer (except when the shower has lasted over 20 minutes) and they are only 8 years old.

I'm not sure why you're involved but some moms feel they need to be in charge of everything for their kids. I think it's way past time to let her bathe herself, shower or bath, and you could mention it but it's really not your business unless she's asking for advice.

YES there is something wrong. Either she is obsessive about her daughter's cleanliness, she doesn't trust her, she doesn't want her to be independant, or God forbid something else.

She needs to cut the apron strings.

One shes her M. and 2 its really not your issue but . I feel that at 10 she should be able to do it herself. Although not every child d oes well in the shower and i think she may feel her daughter doesn't wash well. Her hair or body. But at 10 I would say by than unless of a handicap or development issues she should be ok doing it herself. Her M. might be overprotected

My 10 year old has been showering by herself since she was about 6. She still likes a bath every now and then to play with tub toys, but even after that she takes a quick rinse. We did end up hanging a kitchen timer from the shower rod and we set it to 10 minutes or else my daughers would both stay in the shower until the water ran cold, lol! They need to learn and in order to do that they may have to make mistakes and perhaps get out of the shower with soap still in their hair or dirt on their feet, etc. But once you point it out and they go back in, the next time they will likely do better. Although the shower time still needs to be monitored, my girls will both "forget" to set the timer so they can have really long showers. I would ask her why she will not let her daughter do this alone. And by alone I mean: I am upstairs folding laundry or watching tv, etc. so near but not in the bathroom. If I hear the timer go off and the water does not stop some minutes later, I do knock on the door and go in to let them know it is time to get out.

<<sigh>> I wish I had a kid that had ANY interest in doing it himself. So, yes, I find that odd.