Siblings in the Same Grade?

Hello Ali,
I am a teacher and have had great experiences with siblings in the same class. I have had at least five sets of twins in my classes together. The students who were on the same schedule did better than those who were on different schedules. It actually helped a lot of them because they had someone that they knew they could count on in the same class. Plus, think of it you will only have one class to think about at a time. One time to meet with the teacher!

I hope that this helps.

L. E.

I would not worry about that too much at this point. I had some friends growing up, both younger than I that were 2 years apart and graduated from high school the same year. The younger sibling started kindergarten a year early (bday in like late Sept of Oct and tested in), and then in Jr. High, she skipped a grade and started high school the same year as her brother did. They never seemed to have any more problems with sibling rivalry that my brother and I did (also 2 years apart). They are both now very bright accomplished adults in their 20's.

I am a teacher and have never had siblings 19 months apart in the same class. So unless it is a multi-age classroom, they fall under different grades.

My friend had this issue, so she held one child back from kindy for a year.
D.

Hello,
If I read this correctly......you have a 10 month old son and are possibly pregnant. If you are pregnant and as you say it's too early to tell then you would be due in about 9 months from now. That would put your kids 19 months apart and they wouldn't be in the same grade. Unless I misread?

I had twins, a boy and a girl, so they we obviously in the same grade. When they first started school, I requested different teachers so that they could develop their own friends and identity and have their own experiences at school. When they got to middle school it didn't matter so much and they did end up having a class or two together. They were very close and supportive of each other all through school. I think it was also an advantage with having opposite sex kids in the same grade because we got to know a lot more girls AND boys withing the class. Maybe you'll have a baby girl and her brother will be her protector and best friend. S. W

Ditto Amancia. My sister and I are 19 months apart and we were 2 grades apart in school, since her birthday was September 14th, she was past the cut-off for the year (at least back then-heh), but it seems they'd still be a year different, even s/he was born earlier in the month. ;)

GL and Congrats!

Just think if they were twins it would be the same outcome. Of course twins click better than normal siblings but if you raise them to be close there shouldn't be a problem. If you think possitivly and show the many great things about being in the same grade together they will see it too. Heck, they might even figure out some clever ideas during school that us moms wish not to think about, if you know what I mean. But overall enjoy your babies everything else will fall into place.

Well, it could turn out that you have another boy, and then I would definitely consider holding him back and letting him start school the following year.
That said, I would not worry about it too much. Being in the same grade could have it's advantages. And you could get it all over at once. Easier homework, easier school shopping etc...
My kids are 20 months apart and are two grades apart, so I am not sure where you are getting your math, but don't worry, either way. We are given our children with the timing they arrive for a reason. :)

Hi Ali,

I agree with the moms who said that the kids shouldn't end up in the same grade. My oldest two are 17 mos. apart, and one graduated June of this year, and the second is starting his junior year. They would have been only a grade apart if the oldest hadn't started kindergarden in CA. where they can start as long as they're 5 before December(her birthday is in October).

As for your possible pregnancy--it's possible you either do or don't want to be so badly, that you're having symptoms. It's been known to happen to me after my miscarriage, and others I knew who wanted to be pregnant so bad, but had trouble conceiving.

Like one other mom said, take a deep breath, and wait a little while until you test again.

Hope it's good news! :)

K. W

Won't they be 19 months apart (approx.)? Regardlesss, there are a lot of studies that show that summer children (May/June and beyond) are best served by being the eldest in their grades rather than the youngest. Summer children are known to have higher rates of learning and social challenges and even depression and teenage suicide when they are the eldest rather than the youngest in their grades. So, if my math is correct, your choice may be to have your children 1 or 2 years apart in school, depending on their personalities and needs!
If, however, your pregnancy is farther along than this, your children could be Irish twins- which I've seen treated as twins. If your son is told from the time that you KNOW you are pregnant that this is his Irish twin, and you believe this, than they, too, will understand that they are actually twins that chose to come at different times!
Good luck and many joyous years to you!

Dear Ali,

Not to worry. You can hold your second child out for an additional year at your own disgression, and I would strongly suggest that you do. An additional year of preschool never hurt any child!

D. P.
Mother of four, ranging in age from 5-20.

Hi ALi,
I have a set of irish twins, I was already pregnant by my 6week check up with my 2nd son, it is hard at first but as the baby catches up with the older one the more easier it becomes,but i have twin brothers and it's very much like raising twins, both in diapers,both on bottles. ect. now I'm going through the terrible two's and three's at the same time. but they are best friends they entertain each other, share the same clothes pretty much. it's neat watching them grow together and have their own language when they talk together. my three year old helps me teach the 2year old it's fun. they were actually the same age for about a month. one was born in june and the other in july..it's fun. but can be challenging,, good luck
D.

Depending on the development level of each individual child you could start one early or one late. My boys will be in class together this year and are super excited about it! My oldest is so excited his little brother will be with him!

I found out I was pregnant when my daughter was 11mths. By the time you have baby # 2 your son will probably 18mths, putting them at least a yr apart, if not 2 in school.

Ali L,

I have twin boys. They are just 2 yrs now, and schooling is a big issue that we have talked about. One idea we have been kicking around after any daycare situations is to have the boys put into separate classes. This way they can be independent during the day. Being that close is hard.

I have nephews that are 11 months apart, and I have seen how distracting it can be for them to be in the same classroom. More competition to outdo the other for attention...I want to try and avoid that type of competing with my children.

Good luck,
T.

July babies can go either way. It depends on their maturity level, which you won't know 'til you get much closer. If you simply wish to save your home environment, hold off on sending the second child until the next school year.

Two of my friends are identical twins, so the same year issue was a big one for them. This early on, sibling rivalry shouldn't be too much of an issue. Siblings close in age tend to be pretty good friends, especially in their early years (not always true, of course, but this has been my observation from other families and my own children, who are only 15 months apart). Once they get older though - middle school, etc - make sure the schools understand that they do not have to be in the same class. Stress this. Stress it earlier on if it's an option. If they are not continuously grouped together it won't be as much of an issue.

You could always put them in separate classes. Or hold the younger one back a year. It would depend on the maturity level of the younger one.

We have daughters that are 11 month apart and they'll be in different grades because one was born in November, the other October. However, I love that they are so close in age. They are still very young but they enjoy each other so much.

I wish you the best!

Take a deep breath, now breathe.......

It's no different than having twins or any other multiple in the same grade. You will have some sense of sibling rivalry no matter what the age or the grade, but then they will be best buds, friends thru thick and thin. If you see that great of a delay in motor and cognitive skills between the 2, you may want to wait for the younger one to go to kindergarten, maybe not, but take it one day at a time. Your kids will be so lucky to have a brother or sister so close in age to share so many of life's events. Congratulations!!!!

try doing the math again...if your oldest son is already 10 months, and you have not even confirmed the second pregnancy, they will not be in the same year in school - the oldest will be well over one year old by the time you would (in 9 months) give birth to the potential sibling...

I might be reading the question wrong, but unless you're 9 months pregnant now they won't be in the same grade, because they'd have to be 11 months apart to have that happen! They'll be more like 19 months apart (10 months plus the length of your pregnancy). Blessings to you for having two so close together, two kids is crazy yet fun!

If you are pregnant, you're kids will be 18 months apart, so they will not be in the same grade. You don't need to worry.

Are you kidding!? What the heck is wrong with going to the same grade school, the same middle grade school and the same High school?
Sibling rivalry comes from PARENTS compairing their children, not from schools!
I went to the same schools as did all my brothers and sisters and a few of my cousins, and I felt secure in knowing that I had family near by.
If you start to have a problem with Teachers, then you go and take care of it!
You and your children are much too young to be worring about non exisiting problems. Enjoy this time in your life, long before you know it the children you don't even have yet will be grown and have lives of their own. So stop worring.
Mandy

I'm not sure how other moms have responded, but I'd say it's a little early to be thinking about this. My first reaction is that you'll probably want to hold back your second so that, 1) they are in different grades, and 2) how many kids who are born in September really are ready? Probably not many. Good luck with two kids so close! I'm sure it will be great fun for them.

The cut off for school in my district is Sept 1, so they would be in different grades. Also, you can get an exception to have your older one start early. If the school district won't do it, then you can always try to get a private school to accept him for kindergarden and then transfer to public for 1st grade.

I'm assuming that IF you are pregnant (and there really isn't a lot of point in stressing over something that you're not even sure about - so take a DEEP breath!) your kids will be about 18 months apart. Generally, that would separate the kids by one or two grades. Some parents start their children in K at five or even six - depending on whether or not the kids are ready for school. You've got another three or four years to decide how best to proceed! And the individual needs of your children will be the driving force behind whatever decision you make.

(So BREATHE!!!! There is plenty of things that will happen between now and then - and I'm positive you'll make the right decisions!)

(And I've got twin boys who will almost certainly be in the same grade, so I understand your concerns! I'm definitely ALL over this sibling rivalry stuff. My grandmother (also a twin) gave me all kinds of advice and suggestions on how to encourage them to be their own individuals throughout school, etc.)