Hello,
My 13 month old son shares a bedroom with his 5 year old sister. They both go to sleep around 8:30pm - he in his crib and she in her bed. That works well 'til about 3 or 4am when he wakes up. He makes some noise (and will cry if we let him go). From that bit of noise, my daughter doesn't wake up. Within a few minutes, one of us gets him and I breastfeed him 'til he goes back to sleep. Once in awhile, my parnter will give him a bottle, then he'll fall asleep 'til we get up at 6am. The problem is he's waking almost every night and he's up for 30-90 minutes each night (regardless of who feeds him). We've tried keeping him up later (hoping he'd sleep from 9am to 5am or something), but no luck. He still wakes at 3 or 4am. I don't want him to wake my daughter, but want to teach him to go back to sleep on his own. We both work and are exhausted from this pattern. Help!
What have other families with kids who share a room done?
Thanks!
I let my son cry-it-out when he was doing this. His Ped. said that he doesn't need to be feed anymore at that time at that age. It will be hard at first to hear him cry but it will be worth it in the end. Everybody would sleep better.
I had the same scenario with my daughter who was eight when my son was one. He would wake up like clockwork, every night and cry until someone picked him up. This went on and on, until we decided to let him cry it out, and realize he wasn't going to get up. We kept a sleeping bag on the floor in our room, and when my daughter would wake up, she would just come in and sleep on the floor until he stopped. It was so hard to hear him cry hysterically, and he would even cry until he threw up, at which point I would go put a new blanket down and leave the room again. I felt like an awful mother, but it didn't take very long for him to figure it out, and pretty soon he was sleeping all the way through the night. Good luck, it's not easy!
Hello A.,
My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 11 months. At that time she was going to be at 8:30 and waking up at 7:00-7:30. I moved her bedtime up to 7:30 and she started sleeping through the night until 7:30-8:00. At that time she was still taking 2 naps a day (anywhere from 1-3 hours per nap). You son may be getting too little sleep and when they get over tired they are more restless in their sleep. I would also try to stop the nighttime feedings. I was told at my daughters 9 month check up that she should not be hungry at night and we shouldn't be feeding her at night.
I hope this helps and best of luck!
C.
My suggestion is to first, stop feeding him in the middle of the night, that is one of the reasons he is waking up. At 13 months old he definately does not need to eat in the middle of the night, it is more of a comfort thing for you and him. Start weaning him off. If he needs to suck offer a pacifier. During this transition I would move his crib/bed into your room until he is done transitioning from the night feeding so he is not waking up his sister. Also, if he is just moving around, let him be and see if he will fall back asleep on his own. Since he is expecting you to come in and pick him up to feed him, it will be a little while before you can do this. Good luck, and like I said, it sounds like he is just used to waking up to eat and is expecting it, especially if it is at the same time each night. My kids share a room, (6months and 2 1/2 years old) We haven't had to deal with this yet as they both sleep through the night. Not looking forward to the next growth spurt when Ella starts waking up again. :-)
I have a 21 month old and a 3 1/2 year old who share a room and have ever since they were born. My 21 month old doesn't really get up much anymore but we use to let him cry it out. In the beginning, our 3 year old use to wake up with him but we always told her to go back to sleep. After a few times, she got use to it and stopped waking up.
Also, what the doctor told me is that babies don't need to eat during the night after 4 months old. I know it's none of my business but that is something he is just going to get use to and rely on to get him back to sleep. Plus, when you get them into a habbit like that, it will be hard to break.
So, I say, let him cry it out for a few nights and see what happens. Your daughter will get use to it. Or, if you are that worried about it, have her sleep in another room for a few days so your baby can sooth himself back to sleep.
Hope this helps
Hi A.,
Try putting your 13 month old down earlier, not later. He needs alot more sleep than his 5 yr old sister. At this age my daughter was napping once around 12pm and was asleep at night by 6-6:30pm and slept until 6-7am. Too late a bedtime will actually cause nightwaking and an extra early wake-up. If there is any way you can separate them at night for a week or two while he catches up on his sleep? I L. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for age appropriate sleep needs/schedules. I would first try and extra early bedtime for a week to see if he does better once he is rested.
Sincerely,
L.
Hi A.,
When we got sick and tired of this pattern out of our toddler (he was about 12 months at the time), we moved our three year old into our room for about a week. That way the baby could cry it out and our older son could sleep just fine. It only took a week or so for the night-time wakings to stop. And then we moved our older son back into his room.
Of course it will happen again when your little guy gets sick, gets more teeth, etc. But we've found that even when we let our toddler cry it out, our 3 year old still doesn't wake up.
Amazingly, our 3 year old will wake up screaming with nightmares, and our younger one will sleep right through!
Hi A.!
The only thing I can think of to try is an earlier bedtime for your son. Perhaps just 30 minutes more will help.
If the extra rest doesn't help completely, then he just simply may need that extra bottle still.
Hopefully, this can help him go back to sleep quicker, so you and your partner can have your sleep back :o)
Good Luck!
~N.
Hi A.,
My toddler does not sleep through the night, so I can relate to your frustration. He shares a room with our older son, and I will nurse the little one when he wakes up, usually at least once a night. (And I work F/T.) I have not tried the "cry it out" method because I know that my son will not soothe himself back to sleep if he's been crying for more than a minute or so.
My older son did not start sleeping through the night until he was over three -- when he stopped nursing. And even after that, he would still get up very early and get into bed with us. That lasted until about age 5!
With some children (my own included), they will not sleep through the night until you stop comfort nursing, especially at bedtime. After age one or so, they are not nursing out of hunger, but rather for comfort. When your son wakes up and you or your partner are not there, he cannot soothe himself back to sleep. I am going to try to start weaning my toddler to try to improve the night waking, and you might consider doing the same.
Also, if you want to try some other methods for improving sleep besides "cry it out," check out Elizabeth Pantley's book, "the No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers and preschoolers."
Good luck!
L.
keeping kids up later doesn't work. It makes them over tired and allows adrenaline to take over their bodies. Try putting him to bed sooner at 7 or 7:30 and then have your daughter go in to bed quietly. If your baby doesn't need the nursing to fall back asleep I would let him get himself back (get him a transitional object like a stuffed animal or blankie). If he isn't waking your daughter up so far I would keep them together and try to teach your baby to get himself back to sleep on his own. But don't keep him up. He needs more hours of sleep than your 5 year old. They are not the same. Their brain wave patterns are different due to their ages.
