Sick Kids and Going Out

Updated on November 17, 2008
R.W. asks from Herndon, VA
17 answers

Hi moms, I have a question I would appreciate some others' insights on. For the past week and a half, my children (ages 3 and 9 months) have had some kind of virus that makes them miserable primarily at night. In the past week and a half, nighttime symptoms have ranged from croup (two nights), to fever (every night), coughing fits, etc. During the day, they generally have a super runny nose, cough and are more grumpy than usual, partially because they like to go places during the day but haven't been.

My question is, during the day, they don't seem more sick than many kids I see out in public (runny nose, coughing). I try to err on the side of not taking my kids out because I don't want other kids to catch whatever my kids seem to have. What do other moms do when their kids are sick every night, but seem well enough to take out during the day? I feel really guilty potentially getting other kids sick, but my kids are going nuts during the day with cabin fever (and it doesn't help that the weathers cooling down), and therefore I am going nuts with them.

Do other moms take their kids out during the day when they are having nighttime sicknesses? (Why do kids always get sick at night?!? :)

I should also add that I did take them to see a pediatrician over a week ago, and they said it was just a virus that had to run its course.

Thanks.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My rule is if he's coughing really bad I keep him home. As the coughing can spray germs on everyone and they have no choice. Runny nose - people know germs are around and wash their kids hands because of that fact - so runny nose isn't as big a deal unless the sick kid likes to hug kids and wipe it on them. A sore throat is a stay at home sickness as it could be strep. And the biggest indicator of "contagious" is a fever. If a fever is present then I keep him home cos he's just not gonna have enough energy to heal if I wear him out - and a fever means you are contagious to others. I think kids get sicker at night cos their energy is just gone and they have no defenses left - they are exhausted and feel sicker because they are all tired out too! Hope that helps. S.

B.S.

answers from Norfolk on

I always try to keep my kids home while they are still running a fever, and one day after that. I think they need the rest. However, I do let them go outside and get some fresh air if they are up to it. Hope they are better soon.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

As long as you're not putting your kids in an enclosed space with other kids, like a classroom or an indoor playspace, I think it's okay to take them out, as long as they're up to it. You can't shield everyone else's kids from germs - they're everywhere (kids AND germs). Kids need to get exposed to gerrms in order to build up their immune systems anyway.

I've never given germs a second thought and my kids have almost never been sick. I do make them wash their hands frequently and if we are going on a playdate I notify the other parents and let them make the call as to whether they want their children exposed or not. If you're going out into the great outdoors with your children, I think you have no duty whatsoever to worry about spreading germs. First of all, unless your kids are coughing right on people or wiping their dirty hands on them, it's unlikely others will catch anything and, secondly, people who go out in public assume the risk of being exposed to all kinds of germs. Germaphobes can stay at home.

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N.L.

answers from Washington DC on

R., I'm dealing with this issue this very moment. In fact my dd will miss her very first class picture tomorrow b/c of it. I decided that if her fever doesn't resolve in the next hour or so, she isn't going. I don't think that I have the right to mess with someone else's money just b/c I want to take my kid to her preschool. When a child gets sick and a parent has to take off work to stay with that child, that's exactly what you are doing - messing with their money. You don't know what will make them be the chosen one to lose their job in this economy.

I realize that kids are around germs all the time, but I won't knowingly expose my kids sick germs to other children. That, I think is wrong.

And the body's circadian rhythms is why they are worse at night. Sucks, but nothing we can do about it.

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T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Stuff like this is really, really hard to call. My sort of rule of thumb is to weigh symptoms vs. the Greater Good.

If they have a fever, they stay home. The fever indicates their body is still fighting off whatever it is, which means the virus/germs whatever are still active.
If they are putting little drops in the air (i.e. have a runny nose, are coughing up gunk etc), they stay home, because these little microscopic things are what spread germs/viruses around.

Otherwise, if they just feel kind of under the weather but they are not doing the above, then let 'em go out. Every doorknob, every grocery cart, every stairwell bannister in the world is a petri dish for germs and viruses, and at this point putting your kids out there does not significantly increase the chances that other people will get what they have. The great big ol' outside world, after all, is where your kids caught it!

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S.K.

answers from Washington DC on

R.: I thikn it is always best to error on the side of caution. Kids shouldn't go out if they've have had a fever in the last 24 hours. . .at least that is what most schools and daycares require. Typically a fever indicates they are still contagious (not always but most of the time it does). I try to do this. . .if I knew another child was sick with something that I wouldn't want my son exposed to what would I want that parent to do. 9 times out of 10 that means stay at home and wait it out. It stinks. I certainly have sympathy since my son just got over having croup and a nasty fever for a week. Cabin fever sets in but because I don't want my child to give another's child something I always error on the side of caution. Just my two cents. . .take care. Also, taking drives out of the house, go to the drive thru for lunch or Starbuck's for a coffee for you. .. always improves my mood:)
Stac

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L.A.

answers from Charlottesville on

If they have a fever during the day I would try to keep them at home if possible. Once the fever has broken I would then take them out even if they still had the cold symptoms. If you need to take them out don't feel too guilty b/c after all someone came out sick and made your kids sick. It is hard to avoid this time of the year.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I just went through the exact same dilemma.

We had to get out of the house, so I did take my 17 month old out for a couple walks in the stroller when she wasn't feeling well, but was getting restless in the house. I felt okay about it because I read that cool outside air can actually help a croupy cough. (It was in "What to Expect the Toddler Years" which I absolutely love.) Just make sure they are bundled up well and bring a box or two of tissues : ) When she was in the stage of feeling better during the day but still sick at night I did take her out to walk around a bit. The mall was good when the weather was bad, but I kept her out of the play area. I didn't want her to spread anything, or catch something else while her immune system was already down.

I think that the night time sickness is common. I know I usually feel worse at night when I am sick, and it may just be that the day is catching up to them. Fevers are supposed to rise a bit in the evening also, which might add to the funk they are feeling.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, R.-- If they've been sick this long and are this miserable, have you taken them both to the doctor to nail down what's causing it and get some medication if needed? You didn't mention whether you've seen the pediatrician. I think that's the essential first step before any decisions about going out.

As for your feeling like your kids seem no sicker than others you see out during the day -- Please consider that those other kids you see who have runny noses or coughs may likely have allergies (very common in fall and winter now, not just in spring!) that produce the same symptoms you see in your kids. Allergies are no reason to keep those kids home because they're not contagious, but if your own kids are running fevers, even just at night, something more like possibly an infection is going on with your children. I think it would potentially keep your kids sicker longer if you take them around, wear them out at activities, etc., and it's not truly fair to other parents whose sneezy, wheezy kids may have allergies, not colds/flu/something contagious. I've always assumed that a fever means potentially contagious and we always stay home at least 24 hours after the end of a fever (or after the last time a child vomits) in case of recurrence. Taking the kids out and about may only prolong their illness and spread it to other kids. I'd ask Mamas for ideas for more at-home activities and definitely get to the doctor pronto. And finally-- could your kids be reacting to something in their bedroom environments? Mold you can't see or smell, other allergens? Allergies don't usually come with fevers, I think, but it's worth checking if the doctor can't nail this down. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I do take my kids out if they are feeling up to it, but we do solo things without other kids and try to avoid things like our local jump yard and indoor playgrounds where the germs get traded around too much. Being sick also means that your own childs immune system is busy, and you don't want to add to it. So we go for walks in the stroller, we go to the store, and we play in the backyard as the weather is appropriate. Just no playgroups/playdates etc. I also try to wipe down carts as well to protect other kids from the germs mine have.

Have you tried a humidifier or vaporizer at night - that would help with the chest cold symptoms?

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K.H.

answers from Dover on

My girls had this...and the course is long!! Go by what schools say, I guess. If they have a fever, keep them home. Otherwise, they are good to go. (That is unless they are just feeling to yucky). I say go out...you know not all other mothers are keeping their kids away from others when they are sick. I would, however, if you make plans to spend time with someone specifically (rather than just going out to public places with your kids), I would let them know that your children are sick, so they have the opportunity to say no if they choose.

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P.B.

answers from Washington DC on

i actually haven't experienced my kids being so drastically different day vs night. i mean, when they are sick it is worse at night, but not such a huge difference. when they are sick i keep the kids at home. we do things at home together. but again my kids have also not been sick for more than 3 days at a time (usually 1-2 days)... come up with stuff to do at home. they may even recover more quickly. they need to take it easy when they are sick. maybe a short walk to relieve the cabin fever or a car ride to a scenic, open area where they can just see things or get out for a little... no where where there's other people close by. that's what i think.

of course there are times where you HAVE to take them somewhere (the grocery store, maybe?), i'd just keep them in a stroller for that. (you still have stroller-age kids so that could work)

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi R.,

I have two very active young girls who seem to catch everyone elses colds and viruses. As that mother, I can understand your frustration being cooped-up. Also, as that mother, I get very frustrated with people who take sick children out. Not the runny nose kids (if my girls were home for every runny nose, I would never be at work), but the fevers (hand foot and mouth was A LOT of fun). You do need to get them out for air, just take them for some time in the back yard, or the park at a time when it is not crowded with other kids. Don't let them get too overheated, though. It won't help them kick their virus.

My pediatrician did have an answer abt the fevers and night. Has to do with the bodys rythmns. If your child wakes up with a fever, expect it to go higher as the day progresses peaking at night. Never the other way around unless it is breaking because the virus or infection is resolving. OR because you gave them a healthy dose of Tylenol or Ibuprofen <g>

Hope your little ones feel better soon.

S.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i would absolutely go out. you don't have to go to a mall or a restaurant, but the notion that kids can all be kept isolated from germs is fallacious anyway. a healthy diet and immune system are what keep people healthy (and that involves building up antibodies), not trying to avoid all sick people. go out to the woods, for a hike, to the park and jump in the leaves. getting out and moving around is ALWAYS better than enforced quiet. if they're sick enough to need to stay on the couch with blankies and tissues, it'll be clear. get that sludge moving through and out of their systems. go!
khairete
S.

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A.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids have all been taking their turns getting this same virusy sickness too (the one thing your kids WILL share are germs/illness) They too seem fine during the day, but cough and whatnot at night. Our doctor said the same thing about it being viral and just needing to run its course. I have kept the older ones home from school one day, because I had had the same thing and knew they needed a day to "rest up."

I would say taking your kids out during the day is fine...I know as a stay at home mom, that if I do not take my children with me, then I do not get anything done unless I wait until my husband is home, and then that can be too late sometimes. With that said, I would use good judgement, and say make sure they wash their hands, use tissues, etc. Also, if you belong to a gym and they have a nursery check to see what their policy is. Usually it is OK for a child who has a cold to participate unless they have a fever, or they have some sort of eye draining or very runny nose. As long as they do not have the symptoms during the day, they are probably fine...especially since (like you said) kids have colds.

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E.D.

answers from Richmond on

R.,

Other moms have said it and I agree, get your kids outside just for a few minutes. If you have a back yard that is the best place. Getting them into the sunshine helps with their system. If they are not up to it, then don't push it. Going for walks in a stroller is a good idea too. If nobody is wanting to get out, try adding a little fresh minced garlic or coconut to some food if they are keeping food down. It helps boost the immune system and kills whatever virus might be in the system. I give it to my kids as a preventive measure and I've been blessed to not have to deal with the flu this season. Hope this helps and God Bless.

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

In that situation, I usually put my child in the stroller (and keep him there)... and get fresh, cold air outside. I keep him dressed warm, but this way he gets out of the house, but he is not running around and wearing himself out.

For cold and flu season (once my kid is done with fever and feeling better), we try to have playdates outside... better air circulation and the kids aren't usually on top of each other sneezing and coughing. Just dress them appropriately.

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