So we have been working with our son on sign language since he was 6 months old (now 12 months). His favorite sign is "all done" and he likes to use it in an attempt to communicate many other things to us - like that he wants things, or that he is bored of an activity etc. We are working with him on "more" and "please" which he is starting to get. Anyway my question is: we will sit down to eat and after a few bites he often starts to sign "all done" but he isn't really all done. I think generally he is either bored of sitting in his seat or just wants something different to eat which we are not going to give in to. I want him to learn that what we offer to him is what he gets. But when he starts to sign all done we don't know what to do...I want to respect his ability to communicate with us and not frustrate him but he is not actually all done. Do we just stop feeding him when he signs "all done" so he starts to understand that means no more food?? If we sort of let the "all done" frenzy pass he will often finish his food. We are at a bit of a loss as to what to do. He is a good eater. He is wanting to feed himself more and more so I don't know if that plays a role in this - maybe he is "all done" with us feeding him? Any advice would be welcome! Thanks!
When he signals all done for food take it a way, if he wants more, show him the more sign. When he signs more, give him the food. He will quickly learn the difference between all done and more.
My daughter does the same thing, I think she's just having fun signing and practicing. Just like they start babbling the same word over again and use it for different things
when they learn a new spoken word.
At the table we kind of acknowledge it like "yay, all done with this bite, now one MORE (sign more)" until she's really done and then we all sign all done. She also uses it when she is tired of feeding herself and wants us to feed her (she's a bit older than yours now).
I always try to interpret the context of what she might mean (and say it back to her verbally),rather than taking her signs literally.
FANTASTIC, E.--- just think how much more your baby can say with some simple signs!!
I'm a retired special ed, preschool teacher - slightly hard-of-hearing and I interpret our church service in Lake City so sign language is very, very close to my heart.
You might try this:
Acknowledge ( always) what he is saying
''' oh, you want to be all done? --- 'all done'' is later - right now we are eating''. The same goes for other situations- acknowledge what he says- and ''tweak'' the meaning by saying ''' all done - later'' or whatever you need. If you need help with some specific signs - feel free to send me a message and I'll give you my phone #.
Blessings,
J.
Hi E.,
I understand where you're coming from completely, as I've been there myself. Having your son understand a few more signs would definitely be helpful. I highly recommended the Baby Signing Time DVD's. We just have Volume 1 & 2 (I guess they have two more volumes now). The first two cover a lot the basic signs that you would use, and young toddlers to bigger toddlers really enjoy it. They make learning fun, which always makes learning easier. I'm not big on a lot of TV watching, though educational TV is completely different than regular TV, and this definitely qualifies as educational. Here's a link directly to the Signing Time website if you're interested in checking it out: http://www.signingtime.com/shop/baby-signing-time/. If you click on different the DVD sets, it will tell you what words are taught on each DVD. Amazon.com might have slightly better deals than the signing time site, or you could surely find them locally.
As for the immediate, when your sons says "All Done", I suggest signing back "No All Done - More Eat" (if you know he's not finished). The more you communicate with him back in sign, the faster he'll understand it. Sometimes kids are really done eating before we want them to be, of course. I struggle with this one myself. I have one really good eater and one really picky eater. I try not to pull the "X more bites and then all done", but sometimes I still do it. It will be a work in progress (and a frustrating one for both of you for sure). My only additional suggestions are to be consistent, which is the key to just about everything and will help him understand that he needs to eat, and more so, follow your own instincts on what's right.
A side note about signing, I've heard people say that sign language can delay verbal communication; however, with both of my boys, it taught them to talk verbally much earlier on than other kids their age. So if someone tells you that, just know that it's not necessarily true. All kids are going to learn at different stages either way, but personally I think it helps build the steps for word association.
Also, I'm reading a really great parenting book right now that has so much awesome information in it called "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be". It's set up a little like a reference book, so you can look up something specific (Communication, Behavior, Discipline, Family Traditions, etc.). It's helped me out several times over and I really love the information and advice. It's not pushy, as many are, just explanatory of what's going on to understand all points of view to best communicate or figure something out.
Best of luck to you!
P.S. I love Judy's response. Good advice! :o)
As a speech pathologist, I would tell you to honor his communication and stop feeding him. But as a mom, I'd tell you to ignore it when you know he's not truly done. Since I'm both, I think I'd have to go with a combination of the two. You know he's still hungry or he's just bored, so acknowledge the signing the same way you would if your 14 yr old asked you if he could have the keys to the car. Acknowledge the communication attempt, but let him know that's just not an option right now.
Hopefully that makes sense :-)
--E.
If it is one of his few signs they want to use it all the time. more is a good one to add or try teaching a few food signs if he can ask for his favorite food or sippy cup maybe things will change. Or ask are you sure youre all done eating, but don't take him away from the table yet give him a chance to eat more. If you are feeding him and he signs all done he may want to do it himself or he may not want to eat as fast as your feeding him.
What a wonderful question! We are in the same boat. My 13 mo. old started using the "all done" sign consistantly two days ago. We also use "more"... though often when he signs MORE we aren't clear what he wants (sometimes he uses it to signify that he's hungry)and we will say more what? Which must be terribly frustrating for him since he doesn't know how to communicate the answer to that. I need to learn more signs. We are in a similiar boat with all done. Are you all done with the bite, with the food, with mommy feeding you? We try to turn it into a conversation... verbal and signed. Really, I need to learn more signs if we are going to be successful at this. Anyway, thanks for the question. I'm sure you and your family will figure it out. Good Luck
This early, it is hard, but I would recommend working on signing "yes" and "no" as soon as possible. Another friend did this with her daughter and I thougt it was such a good idea. When I started with my son, it made a huge difference! Then, when he'd sign "all done," I could ask him, "do you want me to take your food away?" He could respond with a yes or no--if he didn't respond, then I'd have him look at me to make sure I had his attention before I asked again. Even now, at almost two, he's learning a lot more words, but there are still many times when we end up playing the yes-and-no game to try to figure out what he wants/needs. :) (He never actually learned the sing for "no"--would just shake his head, but would sign for "yes". It seems that nodding is much harder to master. Now, sometimes he'll respond verbally and sometimes by sign.)
Our daughter who is now 18 months, also learned at an early age sign language...more, water, food, milk, please, thank you etc. She had at least 20 words at 9 months so she still uses some signs in conjunction with words. But we also taught her "all done" and she still doesn't quite get "all done" I think. She used it for all kinds of situations too. I am thinking if this is the sign that he is most comfortable with, then he may use it for several situations and not really know what it means with food, because he seems to still want to eat, as you said. So, I don't think I would worry too much, and just say "No, you're not all done yet, you still have all of this food to eat." You may have to say it over and over (as is the case more and more and more and....you get the point). But, I dont' think it will confuse him. I think you could be teaching him other signs to divert his attention, like "food, water, yummy, thank you and please...." to get his fixation off of "all done" and to encourage hime to do other signs too. Good luck!
When my daughter did this we would back off with feeding her for a few minutes or so and when she noticed that we were still eating she would sign for more :)
Just act like he is being silly. Say "All done?!? No way! You're not all done, look, you still have food right here." Acknowledge what he says and make some kind of reference to what it really means (like by telling him he is not all done because he has more to eat). He will get it. Between 12 and 18 months, they start picking it all up really fast. Our son went from three signs at 12 months to over 40 by 18 months.
Maybe he is using "all done" to communicate with you. Start teaching him more signs that he can use to communicate with.
Has he started talking? Use signing and speech at the same time and he will start to do the same back to you.
E.,
We had a similar experience with our son, who is now nearly two. This still occasionally happens. What we've noticed is that (when he was younger) when we were feeding him, if he wasn't done with Bite 1 and ready for the next, he'd "All Done!" us excitedly. Once we figured out that he was still working on that first bite, we took it as a cue to slow down.
You mentioned that you let the "all done" frenzy pass, he'll finish his food. Part of language development is about the practicing of language, and chances are that this is what he's doing. Verbal children will repeat random words and phrases over and over again with no desire for those items. At one point, my son would say "blueberry!" twelve times in a row. It's a lesson for us as parents to do what you are doing: to not rush in and try to offer other foods or try to change the situation--in short, to not be overresponsive. As long as you and your husband stay steady as you have been, it sounds like you'll all move through this period just fine.
One more thing: since your son is practicing his language, I wouldn't remove the food. He'll show stronger cues for when he's finished--I'm sure you already know what his are. Our little one put his hands up at that age, or turned away. Taking his food away will only end up turning into a very frustrating game for you both. He can learn to "say what he means, and mean it when he says it" when he's older...say, three years old or so. Kids should be able to change their minds whenever possible...they're just beginning to learn that they have a say in their own life!
Best wishes!
This is my son's favorite sign too and he does the same thing. Tells me he is done, but keeps eating or tells me he done and I go to wipe his hands off and he starts shoveling food in his mouth. Now when he tells me he is all done I acknowledge that I see him, but if I am still eating I tell him he needs to wait until we are all done. I am sure he doesn't understand just yet, but he will and this is usually fine with him. If he hasn't started eating again then I know he is done and then we can all leave the table together. If I am not eating with him and he tells me this I acknowledge and will either do something in the kitchen...put dishes away, wipe down cupboard and say as soon as I am done I will get you down. Then I wait to see if he is still eating. Otherwise if I see he has eaten plenty and he says he done I just go ahead and get him down.
E.-
My son is 16 months and he does the same thing! Sometimes he starts signing all done before he even takes a bit. We just tell him "no, you are not all done sweetie eat your peas." And we give him the eat sign. We just try to make sure that we acknowledge his all done sign and try to redirect him to eating.
Have fun with the sign languange. My guy has really started a lot of new signs. We will show him a sign once and he'll surprise us by using it days later!
A friend of mine taught her kids "down" for when they wanted out of the chair. That way she knew it wasn't that they were done eating, just trying to get loose again. I would just continue to use as many signs as possible when you are talking to increase his vocabulary so he can communicate better.
E.,
I think your last question hit it on the head. At one year old toddlers love to be able to feed themselves. Give him a plate of finger foods that he can feed himself and see if the all done signs appear, or if he eats what's offered and then signs all done when he really is all done.
Hope this helps and good luck!
Melissa
