Single Mom Potty Training Boy +Added Circumstances

Don't worry about teaching him to stand-- my 3 1/2 year old always pees sitting down. If he's interested his Grandpa or cousins can explain the joys of peeing while standing. All I care about is that the pee gets in the potty!

I don't get it. You're concerned about him having privacy while he's trashing your living room, but you let him run around without clothes on?

Right now, I'd be more concerned about him acting like an unhouse broken or untrained house pet. He's too old to be doing this. If he knows to move to a corner behind a couch to go to the bathroom, he's ready to be taught that his waste belongs in a toilet.

Those advising you that a boy can not be taught to use a toilet at this age are mistaken. All children can learn to use the potty. There is a big difference between bladder control and reading body cues, and knowing how to go through the motions and where to go when you need to get your business done.

Sounds like you don't want to do the hard work that goes into potty training. If you want to do it right, you need to sacrifice a weekend or more to get the "process" down. He may still have accidents, but he will know where he is supposed to go to the bathroom.

It is up to you to watch for the cues until he gets the hang of things. That means you're going to have to keep taking him to the bathroom every half hour or so, whether he says he needs to go or not. That means if he goes to the bathroom around the same time every day, you're near a potty at that time and you make him sit on it until he gets it and goes. That means you keeping an open eye for when you see him heading to his favorite "watering hole" and grab him and put him on the potty til he goes.

In time, and it can take some serious time, he will go where he is supposed to go. There are no fancy methods. All kids can be potty trained if a parent is dedicated and willing to sacrifice the time. Those who devote a chunk of time to do it right get fast and immediate results.

Our sons were all potty trained by age 2 and a half with no accidents. It was hard work. But they did it and with no problems. Short of a medical disorder, kids will learn and quickly.

As someone else suggested, get a book. There are videos online too. Dr. Phil had a tutorial online that was very popular. Google Dr. Phil and potty train in one day.

My son was pooping and peeing in the potty before he turned two, but I hate to tell you, he wasn't potty trained until two months after his third birthday. He knew when he had to go, would hide to poop, would even poop on the potty most days, but we just couldn't get him to make the leap to underwear until he was ready. Someone once told me in a potty training seminar that you can train a boy to use the potty when he's two and he will be trained by three or you can train him at three and he'll be trained by three. I know I've said that before, so I apologize for repeating myself, but honestly, going on the potty is just not something you can make any kid do. He will potty train when he's ready to. But, if you really want to keep at it, I'd try giving him jelly beans when he goes on the potty. Two for pee and four for poops, or something like that. A lot of people say to avoid pull-ups, but these actually worked with us as there's a picture on the front that goes away if you pee and my son loved the challenge of keeping the picture to show me every time we changed him. I have 27-month-old twin boys now and they are nowhere near going to the potty. They will sit on it, but they've never gone. Well, actually, one of them went the other day and it really surprised him. haha. I expect we'll be in diapers for another year at least. Sigh. They are in cloth diapers, which I had heard was better for potty training because they can feel when they're wet, but they don't care. Boys. Sigh.

My son is 3.5 and just potty trained. Poop training came a week or so after the potty training. I got him a (hand-me-down) Leap Pad with stories where you touch with the pen. He ONLY can use it when he's sitting on the potty trying to poop. So it is on a stool so it's at his height. He plays and tries to poop. Granted, he's 3.5 I tell him, if we don't get anything out in 5 minutes, we'll take a break and try again later. I often use the phrase "Does your body need to poop?" So I set him up on the potty with the stool in front of him with the Leap Pad on the stool and I walk away. A minute or so later he tells me "I pooped!" and I tell him to try to get more out and give him a few more minutes. He plays with the leappad as happy as can be.

btw - I tried sitting there with him reading to him and it rarely worked (at 2.5). Now at 3.5 when I leave him be, he does great. Granted, all kids are different, as we hear all the time. :)

Can he get on the big potty by himself? We got a seat similar to this one and it's AMAZING. LOVE It. http://www.amazon.com/Xpress-Trainer-One-Real-Round-Stand... We got ours at Home Depot to fit our toilet exactly.

Maybe I'm reading your post wrong, but are you saying he purposely goes to the bathroom on the floor, and if he has to do #2, you let him just go at it as he hides behind furniture?

If I'm reading this right, you DO have some serious hurdles to contend with. And I apologize in advance if I am misreading it. But if I'm correct, I have to get a little firm here. I think it's not a good thing you've got going on here. He's already being conditioned that this (going potty where he pleases and running around with no clothes) is okay, and if you keep "giving him privacy," he will NOT be potty trained for years to come!

I know someone who thought letting their child go without pants was a good method for potty training. She wound up almost losing her mind between cleaning up after her toddler and cleaning up after her cat and dog who also used the corners and floors to relieve themselves because there was a territory/turf war w/baby in their minds -- but that is another story in itself! As for the boy, he was about 5 when he finally started using the potty. Between kids at school and an incident with an electric outlet (he thought it would be funny to pee on one - bad mistake!) he learned how to use the potty the very long and painful way.

Anyhoo, do yourself a favor and realize that is a lot of work to teach your child hygiene habits. Teaching them appropriate places to relieve themselves is job number one. Considering he has already learned bad habits, you need to first start over by getting the child accustomed to wearing clothing, and accustomed to using a potty seat when he has the urges to go. If you catch him in corners, DO NOT feel the need that you must give him privacy! Get him on the nearest potty immediately, even if you miss the opportunity for him to finish the job! He needs to be conditioned to physically get to the potty when he has the urge to go. This isn't the time to be worried about privacy. This is the time to teach him how to read his own physical cues and what to do about them.

Right now, he's home with you. But there is something to be said for a exercising a bit of regimentation until they learn the ropes. If you don't start taking charge over the situation, what are you going to do when he takes this behavior outside the house and does this at grandmas, the daycare, or a friend's home? You say he only runs around at home with no diaper. Got news for you. In the case of my friend, her child got to the point where he never wanted to wear them and wanted to take things off no matter where he was. This situation you're in has the potential to become a real headache. Your best bet right now is to find a good book with simple potty training steps to take and to nip the running around with out a diaper for now. It is a lot of work right now, and he may not even be ready to be fully trained, but the habits you instill right now are what is going to stick with him when he is fully ready to do things on his own. Teaching him now will be key to your sanity down the road. Trust me!

I would also encourage you to incorporate sanitation into the mix. If he doesn't learn now that leaving messes where ever he pleases is unsanitary for him and the house, he's going to develop bad cleanliness habits. Makes sure he has a little step-stool by the bathroom sink so he can learn to wash his hands after going, and keep wipes and toilet paper by the potty/potty chair so he can learn to clean himself properly.

I know so many people who are teachers who are just stunned by the lack of hygiene of so many kids today. They can tell which ones know how to clean themselves up after a bathroom break, and which ones don't. Just some food for thought.

I've written on here before about this but I have had some of my kids respond to rewards like marshmallows or M & M's or small treat when they go, one wanted to pick a reward when he was done with it all and he did, some did charts and stickers. Children are different so I don't see how anyone can say do it one certain way. Also age is different but most should be ready and done by 2 1/2 to 3 years old. Some of mine did best at urinating and others even did bowels first although that is not usually the case. Once again kids are all different. But the thing is they all have to be trained by someone. You are that someone. It's a job and takes a day for some kids and a few days for others but you can't stop once you start and they must wear clothing and not use floors or corners at all. I know it's a job but you say he doesn't go in a diaper at night so he is ready and seems to have bladder control. It should be easy once he learns he can't use the floors and just knows you mean business about WHERE to go. I hope you can be firm about it and don't worry about standing until he's got the potty training down very well. Just be sure the guard on the potty when he sits. Or he may do well on the big stool or you can use one of the little seats you put on top of the big stool and they come with a guard too.

We never did the naked thing. When my kids were ready I got those thick training undies with the vinyl cover and just started putting those on. We used the little potty that goes over the toilet and just told them "you're a big girl now so no more diapers, if you need to go potty let mama know and go on the potty". Worked like a charm. Good luck!

In 10 days I'm starting back to training myself, it's his 'half a birthday," my guy will be 2.5. (We do a small cake or cupcakes and sing "Half a birthday" to the tune of "Happy Birthday" to the kids in our family when they's whatever year and 6 months.) I plan to capitalize on the fact that he's getting to be such a big boy and have already started talking up the potty again.

We've tried to train for a few months off and on, mostly off since he didn't seem quite ready. My little guy WILL pee on the potty with no problem, used it on his own yesterday, it's the pooping. I'm single as well, but from everything I've heard and read, it's OK for boys to learn to pee sitting down, they will learn after they've mastered the training by seeing another male, or the boys at their preschool, etc., so it's not a biggie.

Also, do the pee training and get that mastered before you move to the poop training, the urges to pee are stronger and easier for him to act on, and especially since you have a "hider" be prepared for him to balk at using the potty for pooping.

And I was reading something last night that has me rethinking the reward system thing altogether. It was on dealing with a child who won't poop on the potty, and while it acknowledged stickers and a chart as good to begin with (a sticker for each successful trip to the potty for a week, then a sticker a day after the first week) it pointed out that those lose their effectiveness after a while (they do) so it's then time to move to a powerful incentive, one that is powerful for YOUR child, not your best friend's or the child down the street, etc.

It says that four rules make incentives powerful:

1) The incentive is something that the child strongly desires. Ask for the child's input: "What would help you remember to poop in the potty?"
2) It is given immediately after the child goes pee or poop in the toilet, so you have to have it on hand and can't go to the store later to have him pick it out or it loses it's effectiveness.
3) The child is given access to the incentive for 30 to 60 minutes.
4) The parent continues to own and control the incentive. (This last requirement is said to be essential for the incentive to work.) Access to a bike or other toy, DVD, remote-control car, or whatever, is time-limited, because the child is earning a privilege, not another possession. That's the way to maintain the value of the incentive.

This really opened my eyes and makes perfect sense to me, since so many times once a child has the reward they lose all interest in using the potty again and the battle is on again. I just need to figure out the incentive I'm going to use now.

As far as your son not caring if he pees on the hardwood floors I'd have him pick out some underwear with characters he likes on them, and let him feel the wetness in them when he pees in them. Then you can point out to him that's why he needs to use the potty to pee in or he'll keep felling that way.

Here's some help with "readiness" signs:
http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

Hope all goes well!