Single Mom Seeking Relationship Advice

Marriage shouldn't be entered in lightly as I am sure you know. First and foremost you need to think of your son. If this man has cold feet and your son is so attached that can cause him a lot of hardship if the relationship ends. You need to sit down and discuss that you either need to move forward but aren't going to stand in the same place. Relationships at the three year mark should either be headed forward or be done with in my opininon. You cannot rush him though and cannot force him into anything he isn't ready, it would be disaster for you and your son if he felt trapped into having to do this. Do not give ultimatiums, but word it as such that you need to get on with your life and if he isn't ready for marriage that is fine, however you have to consider a good solid future for your son and need to move on.
Don't be upset, men sometimes drag their feet, however if you continue to allow it, it could go on for more years. You have to do what is best for your son.

If you are three years in and he won't commit to marraige this is not going to change. You are being clear on what you want, you are not being hard on him. And let me be blunt, this is not healthy for your son, he is developing attachments, put him first. And please, do not move in together, have you heard that saying why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free! Hang in there, the right man will show up and if he is in to you you will know, listen to your instincts!

Tough Love forthcoming:
You said "feel like I have to drag him to each stage of our relationship" that sounds as if you're forcing solutions. When two people love each other and want a commitment the process moves along, and I believe other than working for the health of the relationship, there isn't that feeling of forcing it.
Your son is still in his formative years, have you thought about the fact that your little boy may be very much like this man who served as an example? that your boy will also look for a woman just like you? Are you and this guy setting good examples?

My suggestion, make a list of everything you want in a husband/man/lover/mate/partner and relationship. Apply this man and relationship to that list, if it doesn't fit, stop wasting time...look for something better but not at the expense of your son's well being.

He needs to feel like a supporter. I would talk to him and back off the marriage idea until you have a clearer picture of what he wants. Is he ready? You don't want to force him. In the long run, he might resent being pushed.

Step back and take a long look about the whole relationship.
C. B

He is where he is, and you are where you are. Neither of you are wrong, but you are definitely in different places. If you are wanting more, you will probably have to move on to someone else, because he is definitely sounding like a man who is not ready. You don't need to pressure him, although if you did and he ran, that kind of tells you all you need to know! You are not wrong for wanting what you want, though, either. If you are really wanting a husband for you and a daddy for your little boy, it may be time to cut your losses. Because at this point, this guy has made you no promises and your son is obviously getting attached. If he isn't willing to marry you after 3 years, he will probably never be willing to change things. Especially if you are willing to let things slide. It does seem that you are more emotionally invested for sure. Please consider moving on, and don't settle for a man who isn't willing to move heaven and earth to be with you! You deserve that, and your little one needs to see Mom not settling for someone she has to drag along. You would be better off alone. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I have seen many marriages fall apart because one is more invested than the other, and ends up doing everything they can to please the other... only to ultimately be left. I am in a marriage where our love and committment are mutual and strong, and there is much security in that for me and my children. I would way rather be alone than in anything less. Good luck!

K.,
I think you need to talk to your kid first and clarify things. He loves you but he's not dad.
On the other hand; I believe your boyfriend might not be ready for that commitment yet. It is understandable if he doesn't have the responsibility of a child; because if you two get married, he'll suddenly have that responsibility as well. But it might be a good idea to hear what he has to say. I don't believe he's ready yet. It is all a game: some men (like my husband) might need a little push, but you can't push too hard or you'll make him go away.
A..