Single Mom with Tons of Questions.

I agree with the posting about the potty training however, the bottle thing, stop immediately. Put water or just throw them away, none in the house, not a temptation. Eighteen months is old for a bottle, most pediatricians recomend stipping at 1 year of age.
A.

Hi R.!

I remember those days! And believe me when I tell you, the fun is just beginning! lol!

Potty Training: 18 months is pretty early. Look for readiness signs, such as not wanting to stay in a wet diaper, peeing and pooping at regular intervals, and having an interest in the toilet. Most chilren toilet train between 24 and 36 months.

Weaning from the Bottle: One of the keys is making the bottle less desirable, which means nothing goes in the bottle but water. Yummy milk and 100% juice in the big girl cup, water in the bottle. If she's really used to being able to have whatever she wants in the bottle when she wants it, she'll look at you like you're an idiot. She may cry. She may refuse to drink anything at all for awhile. But if you stay strong amd keep offering water in the bottle and everything else in the cup, eventually she'll understand that it's not going to change and she'll drink from the cup. The naptime/bedtime bottle is usually the hardest to break, and when you do, you just reduce the amount until there's nothing in it.

Neatness and Tidyness: Only 16 years and 6 months until you get yor house back! :) lol! In the mean time, you have to expect that it's not going to look like Martha Stuart lives with you. To minimize mess, you can make 1 basket with a few things she has access to all the time, and put everything else up so that she has to wait for you to bring it down. It is good to teach her about cleaning up, but she's not going to get it for awhile yet. Let me share a Poem with you, that I hope helps. I don't know who wrote it, but it has saved my sanity!

Come in
But don't expect to find the floors ashine, the dishes done
Observe the crumpled rug, the toys galore, the smudgy fingerprinted door
The little ones we shelter here don't thrive on spotless atmoshere
They're more inclined to disarray in carefree, even messy play
They're needs are great, they're patience small
All day I'm at their beck and call
It's Mommy come! and Mommy see!
Wiggly worms and red scraped knee
Painted pictures, blocks piled high
My floors unshined, my days go by
Some future day they'll leave this nest
And I at last will have a rest
But What really matters more?
A happy child, Or polished floor?

Hope this helps! Good Luck!

Hi R.!

Being a first-time is so fun, isn't it? :o) Yikes!

First of all, I think your daughter is too young to begin potty training. Your "clue" is when she wants to go, then go through the "motions" of going potty on the toilet. My 16 month old nephew is "fooling" his mom right now :o) He wants to use the potty, too, so she takes him through the motions and 30% of the time he is using the potty. But this small percentage is only the times that he ASKS to go. He is doing it because he is one of the youngest of 4 boys and see's everyone else doing it :o) Your daughter isn't following an example, so I don't think you should worry about it until you "see the signs".....you will know when it's time :O)

Bottles- First, I said that bottles were only for sleeping. This limited the bottles to twice daily. Then, I started to say that "Bottles are only for at night"........This eliminated the daytime bottles, and eased the use of sippy cups more often. There was only 1 day of trying this, and because my boys were not giving up bottles completely, they went with it!

Keeping the house and bedrooms clean is a WHOLE other issue! I have my boys toys mostly organized, even a LABELED Library so they can put back their books in the right place :o) It's no use, really.........one thing that has been working, though............I go in to the room that they are playing in and see "how bad" it is, and depending, I say, "ok, it's time to clean up one thing, then go back to what you are doing". Sometimes I say, "let's see if you can do it by the time I count to 20". They have to know what they are going to clean up before i start counting, otherwise, they feel too overwhelmed. But it does work after lots of practice. Your daughter is at the perfect age to begin this. You check on her, and say "oh my! You have 6 different toys out, it's time to choose one to clean up"......she'll say NO of course, but that's another issue :o)

But really, no matter what their age, you will have this problem. As she gets older, it will be more difficult to simply keep it in her room. She will want to bring it out into the home!

I am truly not one to talk, nor a good example, but a few suggestions that I have been given are:

* Get rid of toys immediately. Someone said if you get 1 toy from the store, then you MUST be able to find another old one in the room to get rid of.

* Rotate them in and out of the room every few months. This way she will always have "new" toys. (This was suggested to you already)

* Clear bins with photos on the front. The photo should be a picture of the toy/game that's in the clear bin. This way even a non-reader can cleanup. (This was also suggested to you, and we have done this)

I'm only good about using the clear bins :o) But when i DID make the effort to rotate toys, it does work. And, I can never seem to remember to "get rid of" old toys for new one's (now that my kids are older). When they were younger they didn't like this because they couldn't fully understand WHY they had to give something away. So, now that Christmas is over, I think I will begin to try to use it :o)

Good Luck, R.!

~N. :o)

1. Put it in the bathroom with a dolly sitting on it and see if your daughter shows any interest. The less you say, the better. If she shows no interest, you might want to wait.
2. Why do you want her to give up the bottle? You can wait on this, if you want.
3. Get rid of toys and things (or store them in the garage) until you are down to a manageable amount of stuff in her room. When she's two or three, you'll want her to start participating in keeping her own room clean, and if it's too full of stuff, she will not be able to succeed.

Don't worry yourself too much about the timing of this stuff! She's going to grow up no matter what!

HI, Single Mom! It's funny to read these questions now that I am so totally out of this stage. My kids are older, and the issues are a bit different, but I remember asking the same things and getting a million different replies to all the questions I had. One thing hasn't changed, though, my house has'nt been orderly in 11 years!
1. Potty training. My kids potty trained a bit older than you are suggesting here. Expect that introducing the potty is going to be just that, an introduction. I introduced my kids to the potty and let it sit there for a long time before we did anything with it. I also read a couple of books about the potty, there are some good ones out there. When I went into the bathroom for any reason, I invited my son to sit on the potty just to try it out. After a while, I would put him on it right out of the bathtub at night to try. He started to try to go a little, but I never pushed it. Once he could pull his pants up and down by himself, be began in earnest to potty train. I kept it positive and relaxed, and he took his time. I also minimized the pull ups at the house and used them only for outings. I did th same for my daughter five years later and th both potty trained fine. They won't go to college in diapers!

2. I breast fed and rarely got away with a bottle for both kids. They hated them, so I never had this transition. However, my friend did something interesting. She put only water in her boy's bottle. If he wanted a juice or milk, he had to use a sippy cup. He could always choose a bottle, but he would get only water if he did. He protested for a while, but got the message the mom wasn't budging .

3. clean ups. Perhaps I am not the person to give advice at home on this because I long ago gave up on neat. Two kids, a working mom and a neat house don't compute for me. But I am a teacher and I found a couple of things works for my kinders. First, limit and rotate toys. kids get overwhelmed by too many choices. Put 50% of her toys in a box out of the way. Every month or so, rotate the toys and she'll get more out of her toys. They will seem fresh to her. Why I could pull this off in a classroom and not at home, I have no idea. But there you have it. Secondly, label her bins with photos of the correct contents. That way she has a visual of what is supposed to go where and it is great for classifying and categorizing skills.

I hope this helps! I miss this age terribly, I'm heading toward teenager time quickly and it's a whole other ball game!

My suggestion is for the toy expolsion :) Take all but the top few toys and put them away - AWAY in the garage, a storage space and huge plastic bin out of sight. There will be fewer toys to clean up on a daily basis. Then as she gets board with those toys rotate them out for some of a toys you stashed. It'll be like having new toys without having to buy any AND it'll help keep a handle on the clutter.

1. My daughter is about 2 months older than yours. We've been putting her on the potty from time to time since she was a newborn. Admittedly, the past 2 months haven't seen much action with the potty, but we figured that would be the case for awhile after her brother was born in October, just 'cause I'm not really in a place to do much with potty training right now. We think the nicest potties are the Baby Bjorn Little Potty type--all one piece potty chair, easy to store and can't leak. Sometimes, the dollar stores hereabouts even have them. Our little girl likes to sit on the potty & read or brush her teeth--and, thus, sometimes, we manage to catch her at the right time.
2. Can't help you here--we don't use bottles.
3. Your daughter is currently, as my Dad puts it, a Stormtrooper for the Lords of Chaos. You can get her to help you clean up at this age. We're in pretty tight quarters, which means our daughter's toys are in the living room. At naptime, bedtime, and if we're leaving the house, we put all the toys away. The rest of the time, we live with the results of Hurricane Elizabeth--although we are working on getting her to put one book away before she takes out the next.

1.) i'm at this point as well - 18 mo. old boy. probably a little early, but it doesn't hurt to get the potty chair so she gets used to seeing it in the bathroom.

2.) my son never liked the sippy cup, but took to the straw cups right away. i started with the cups with the bigger/wider straws. i think they are the nubby brand.

3.) the bins on a shelf work well for us. that is also what they have a day care. all the cleaning up credit should go to his day care provider, but here is what she does...before lunch they clean up all the toys by putting them back in the bins. at about 4pm they do the same thing. we do the same thing at night before bathtime. i think the most important thing is consistency. we started this at about 1 yr and he still claps everytime he puts something in the bin. cleaning up can take a while at this rate, but it's worth it.

good luck and no rush - they grow up so fast!

R. ~ in my experience, you are trying to change too many things at one time. I think that you need to pick a task, and change that, maybe start out with switching from a bottle to a sippy cup, then work on the potty training thing. If she is not showing an interest in potty training yet, I would hold off. Depending on the child 18 months a lot of times is a little bit young to start.... The whole messy toys thing is going to be a life long battle most likely. I think that you can teach at 18 months old to "clean up" but the whole concept of the house needs to be picked up everytime you leave it is a little bit much! I realize that kids ARE very smart! But I think that you need to work on one thing at a time with her as I think that it will stick better that way! Good Luck!

Hi R. -

For the potty training, I suggest waiting another year - I know of very few, if any, kids 18 months old that have been successfully potty trained. Usually it is the mother that is trained at this young age, and not the child. In a year, it will be easy, will not take very long, and will be WAY less frustrating for you and your daughter. I have 4 kids and for girls 2 1/2 to 3 years old worked well.

For the cleaning: I totally hear you - I feel like I spend a LOT of my time STILL teaching my kids to clean up after themselves (and my oldest is 17). I suggest helping your daughter clean up after a specific activity, but for all that non-specific play that happens during the day, it worked for me to have a once-a-day clean up time right before dinner - so I didn't have to worry about following around my kids all day - and they weren't stressed all the time about making 'messes' - and if they helped me clean up in the evening before dinner and bedtime, I could wake up with a clean house in the AM - !

Good luck with your daughter!

My daughter turned 18 months last Monday. We bought a potty and have it in the bathroom. When she comes in with us she may sit on it, or stand on it, or just play with it. I figure it's something she's getting use to and will eventually not mind using. I was told one of the first signs they are ready to be potty trained is they don't have a wet diaper in the morning, which means they can hold it all night. I've learned from watching my friend with her kids to wait until they are ready, and I believe they will let us know when they are ready.
Bottles. I say cold turkey, just take it away. I used the Nubby sippy cups. The tops are soft like a bottle, but it's a sippy cup.
We do clean up time every night. She picks up her toys and puts them away. Right before Christmas I took most of her toys and stored them in the garage and plan to rotate them throughout the next few months. I figure she will have fun with them all over again when she sees them in a few weeks and my living room is cleaner.
Best of luck,
C.

For potty training, try introducing her to the potty seat by taking her into the bathroom with you when you go to the bathroom. She can sit on her new potty seat while you sit on the toilet. That should give her an idea of what to do. As for the bottle, there is no way to break a child from a bottle (that I know of) other than to simply take it away and tell her there are no more bottles. She will cry, throw tantrums, ask for the bottle, beg for the bottle, etc., but you have to stay strong and simply say no more. As for the cleaning of the bedroom, with small children there is ALWAYS going to be something out of place. They play in their room - it can't stay picture perfect when they're playing. Don't worry about it so much - there is really no consequence to not putting absolutely everything away before you leave the house every time. What I do is I let my granddaughter and friends play in the room and then when they decide they want to go outside, I have them pick up the bedroom first. That way, when they come back inside to play, they start out in a fairly neat room. I don't really worry about cleaning the room until the end of the day and then I make sure the toys are put away before bed. If it's not neat and tidy all day, who cares.

18 months is a bit too early. Wait until she is 2 and read the book, "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day". It is how my mom trained my sister and me and how I will train my son. It is very detailed. First you help your child train a doll (the kind that wets), then once they understand that pee-pee and poo-poo go in the potty then you train them. You give them lots of liquids to drink all day so they have to pee all time (lots of opportunity to practice). You give them treats and lots of praise (hugs and kisses, cheers and clapping) whenever they do anything right like learning to pull down their pants or peeing in the potty, etc. It's supposed to be a very intense, yet fun day. I tried it with my son (age 21 months). He wasn't quite ready. He understood most of it and did pee in the potty and did many of the other things, but was not very good about listening to directions. So, I'm going to wait another few months until he can actually pay attention. My sister waited until her son was almost 3 (yikes!). Then, she trained him in less than a day. I don't want to wait that long, but you do need to wait until they are really ready. The book is quite detailed in describing when the child will be ready. Like I said, my son was ready, except that he just didn't want to pay attention and would rather run around and play with his toys.

Re: weaning - you just have to switch. They will be unhappy with it for a couple days, but then they are fine.

For organization, look for some kind of organization unit with bins for toys. There are some great ones at Pottery Barn Kids (gorgeous, but pricey), Target and Ikea (both inexpensive and cute. We sing a little song to encourage our son to help with getting him to put his toys away (to the tune of London Bridges Falling Down - It's Time to Put the Toys Away, Toys Away, Toys Away, It's Time to Put the Toys Away Here at Hoooomme.) We learned that at The Little Gym. He loves helping to put toys away at gym class. That said, when you have a toddler, your house is never going to be clean and neat. If you think it is going to be a perfect showroom, you're going to set yourself up for anxiety attacks and you'll never be able to leave the house! Sometimes, you just have to leave it messy. Teach your daughter to put her toys away every night before bed and maybe every day before naptime. She'll need lots of guidance and direction as to how exactly to do this because she doesn't know how to do it.

Sounds like you're doing great! Hope this is helpful.

R.,

I agree, 18 months is usually too young to toilet train. However, if she is talking in complete sentences, give it a try. I would wait until she is talking in complete sentences,or 2 1/2, whichever comes first. In my son's nursery school, every child who toilet trained before 2 was back in diapers by the end of the year (this was the two year old group).

She's only 18 months--a bottle is still okay if she wants it and uses a cup at other times. I would try to keep it down to nap time or bedtime, unless she's really unhappy.

Finally, clean! In my dreams! Try to pick up with her before you leave, before lunch, nap, dinner, bedtime, and good luck. Frankly, she doesn't need that many toys. I didn't give my son many toys, and he worked out fine. In my opinion, most toys are not age appropriate and/or just junk any way. Blocks, balls, dolls, pots and pans, sorting toys, that's about it for this age, and if she can build a tower, you're doing well!

Good luck...