Single Parents and Christmas

I shop for myself even with a husband and 3 kids.

Do whatever works for you guys - don't be afraid to put some Santa gifts under the tree for you. Maybe a babysitter could take her shopping for you? Or a close friend? I would definitely do it for a single friend of mine!

I'm not single and I still put gifts under the tree for myself. I often find things for myself while I am out shopping for everyone else, and when I do I bring it home and tell my husband or my kids that it is what they are giving me for Christmas, or I wrap it up to myself from Santa.

The Macys by us has a kids shop where you send your child in with a helper to buy gifts within a specific price range. They come out with the gifts already wrapped. I do this with my kids so that they can surprise me and their dad with gifts that they pick out. It's fun to let kids learn the joy of giving, not just receiving.

I do buy my own stocking stuffer though.

Oh my goodness- I'm with the others, let your daughter buy you things! I can just picture her watching you open something she picked out, 'bought', and wrapped by herself! This is a wonderful idea!

I always did stockings for hubby and DD, and it bothered my DD that there was never anything in my stocking (she wondered if Santa was mad at me!!). So I did buy things for myself to put in my stocking, this made her happy that Santa remembered me as well.

Just grab a little cash, take her to the store, and stay enough out of the way that she can shop. Maybe bring something to let her cover up her find so you can stay close enough for your comfort. And let the store workers know what you are doing- they will totally help!

Just make sure to be SO happy with what she got you. Maybe you didn't know she thought you'd love your new coffee filters! :-)

I am not a single parent but I was raised by one. My mom was always the one to take me shopping for a gift for her. I would wander and choose (with her close by, but not in arms reach) and she would give me the money to pay for what I chose. Obviously at 5 your daughter may need a little more assistance, but that's ok because you know how to act surprised when you open it.
If I made something at school that was always wrapped and under the tree too. She was usually more excited by what I had made, painted, drawn, or written than what was bought.

Traditionally, on x mas eve, ALL my kiddos (and *I*) open One present. It is a set of 'semi' matching PJ's for us ALL for the photo op on x mas morning!

My kiddos are older (25 to 18), and I have been divorced for over 10 years now.

This remains our tradition!

I would look to make some new traditions just for YOU guys. Help her make a gift...like a decoration for the tree together. Part of the lesson of christmas, it seems to me, is GIVING as well as receiving! Consider volunteering or adopting another child (giving trees) that you two can shop for together.

Shame that you do not have someone who could take her shopping...but she is young yet!

Merry merry.

Have a good friend take your daughter shopping for you. Let her spend money on you so she can feel that giving joy.

Put any gifts from friends and family under the tree. And yes, I think you wrap some gifts for you from Santa. If you have a neighbor who can help her make something to give to you, that's great too. Don't have her make the association that Christmas is only about her. She needs to see the joy and surprise that you display when you open gifts, so that she will learn to help provide that joy and surprise for you when she is older. If you have to "fake" that right now, great - that's what Santa is for!! If you do stockings, you should have one too! If you don't have a lot of money to spend, then make some edibles (cranberry bread, spiced nuts, cookie assortments) and have those be from Santa! Wrap something from your closet that she hasn't seen. Anything so she learns that Christmas is about the giving, not just the getting.

I usually buy myself a little something and write to mom from santa on the package and put it under the tree. I then have something to open as well as my son. He's older now so he knows Santa didn't really bring the gifts but, usually he would get me a little something each year too.

Take her shopping. Maybe find something special to "hide" the gifts under when she picks it - or see if the store person can help her pick a "surprise" gift for mom. Give them a price limit, go when it's not crowded. Or just let it NOT be a surprise, but still have her pick it.

You can create whatever tradition you like. :)

Do you have any family at all, like a parent who could talk to her on the phone and ship something to you? Or another single mom friend where you could take her kids and she takes yours and you shop for each other? I would also look for Santa's Workshop kinds of places where you give the elves a few dollars and they take the child through their shop for purchases. Or even ask her to make you something and give her a box and paper to wrap it in so you're surprised. When my SD was 11, she used her own money and mail ordered gifts. Since I was not supposed to see the items, I had a coworker count the change, verify that SD had paid enough (or that I needed to cover shipping) and I wrote a check to mail it off. Would something like that work for you?

Many hugs. My mom was a single mom most of my childhood and I appreciated all she did for us.

In the course of getting things for others I usually find a few things for myself.
I wrap them and under the tree they go.

When my older kids were little, they wanted to surprise me. Since we would go to the dollar store so they could get little things for each other, I would give them each an extra dollar or 2 to get me something. The bonus is they learned how to pay for things themselves. Most store clerks are more than heppy to help a child pay for something by themselves. I would try to get in a line with an older person only because they tend to be more patient--and when it is less crowded. This will let your daughter watch you open something. You could also ask her if she wants to make you something and get her the supplies. Nothing super messy but maybe clay or something easy she could do herself.

I usually got small gifts from friends and family when I was single. I put them under the tree too.

When I was married to my ex, I used to buy myself presents and wrap them b/c it bothered my kids that I wouldn't have anything to open. Then my parents started taking them shopping to pick something out that would be a surprise. Find a friend to take her shopping and I think she'll probably be really excited for you to open her gift. Also, in school they usually make a parent gift. You could do something for yourself from Santa if you think it will bother her.

Create some new traditions for the two of you that don't involve the presents - maybe you make special pancakes, work at a soup kitchen or whatever it is.

This year my 5 year old took all her piggy bank money (about $7) and asked me to take her to a store to go Christmas shopping. I took her to a dollar store and helped her out. When it came time to do my gift I stood a bit away and she paid for it herself. You could do something like this...and give your daughter some money to do some shopping. I guess if there were a few things you need and were going to buy anyway, you could wrap them up for yourself. It would seem more festive. Or if you don't want to spend anything you could wrap up a few things you already own! A church where we used to live would have the Children's Christmas Bazaar every year. You send your child in with a small amount of money and the volunteers help them shop and then they wrap all the gifts. The adults wait in another room where there is tea and coffee. All the items are donated, so with $5-$10 they can buy a LOT of gifts. This was really fun for our kids. If you see something like this near you, your daughter (and one of her friends?) might love it.

I'm not single, but I do this for myself because nobody else is going to.

What you're already doing is perfectly normal and usual for a single parent, one small child house. Wrapping fake presents for yourself would be odd, imo. That is not something you want to teach her to do.

Focus on experiences. Things you can do together that mean something. Sledding, visiting a mall Santa then getting cocoa at a coffee shop, etc.

I didn't buy gifts for myself, and I enjoyed watching my daughter unwrap hers. I had no problem with Christmas being all about her when she was little.
When she got older, she started asking my parents or her dad to take her shopping or help her make something for me.

I was a single parent for my son's first 15 years. I ALWAYS put something under the tree for me and for friends of mine too. I taught my son, nieces and nephews to get me a gift as well as their mom and grandmother. It is important to teach your daughter about giving and not only thinking about herself but thinking about you too. Have her earn some money by doing chores around the house. Have a friend take her shopping for you.

My kids are adults now and they still give me gifts on Christmas, Mother's Day, my birthday (AKA - The Intergalactic Holiday) and other random times of the year. They have to be taught to be thoughtful and generous.

Also our holidays aren't just about us but also about what we can do for others. Monthly we feed the community. We give clothes and other items to those less fortunate and a whole host of things that make this time of year meaningful and wondrous.

Ask a friend to take your daughter shopping for you. I think my favorite gifts were the ones my son would pick out for me. I'm not single, but I also have a husband who cannot seem to ever get me anything I would want! He tries God bless him, but alas. Haha. So he takes our son shopping, and he picks out my stuff!