Skipping a Grade

I am a former middle school teacher. I do not rec that you let you son skip a grade. A boy is always a little behind emotionally anyway. This way he would be at a disadvantage in that area most of his school life. It is good for a boy to be bigger than the others in middle school and in HS if he athletically inclined at all...that will be an advantage. AND he may just stop growing!!!! I would suggest that you do things that will continue his academic success and stimulation outside of school. He most likely will be in the gifted programs and that will take care of that somewhat.

You are lucky to have this "problem"!!

S. goebel
lake st louis

Only you know best, but when you said you would hold him back in a heartbeat, that needs to be thought through. If you would hold him back, he may not be ready to move forward. My daughter skipped a grade this year, and will be in 7th grade at barely 11. I thought my daughter was academically and emotionally ready, but after a year ahead, I can tell that the emotional side of things are coming a lot earlier than they would have needed to. She won't get to drive until her Senior year, dating??? havent' thought about that one, but she will be leaving for college when she is barely 17. These things were considered, but it took a while. Please, please, don't make the decision hastily.

You have a lot of responses so I will skip my personal story and just add that going away to college at 17 is going to be a huge challenge in so many ways.

If he were my kid I'd move him in a heartbeat. My husband was this way through most of his school career and it was devasting to him...he was the blunt of every cruel joke because he was never with his class but always taking classes AHEAD of everyone else (to the point of going to the local high school a 1/2 day every day when he was in 8th grade). I've also seen really smart kids start resenting the fact that they are "tutoring" or "mentoring" other kids...after awhile they resent it and it becomes a burden. They aren't there to teach their classmates...they are there to learn THEMSELVES!!! A little help is ok but if it's a constant, then the school is simply using your child instead of hiring the extra help they need in the classroom for the other kids.

These days I wouldn't care too much about the age thing. Even in HS...he'll have enough friends he can bum rides off of. Heck, I was one of the VERY last people in my class to get my license because I didn't turn 16 until I was a JUNIOR. If he can do the work and it's going to be mentally stimulating to him then I would go for it. Emotionally, he'll be around more mature kids and that will eventually rub off. Sounds to me like you have a great school district and teachers that are genuinely looking out for his best interests academically.

Have you asked him what HE thinks if it? I would say part of this decision should lie with him.

As a teacher (older grades though), I think it depends on your son. If he is HAPPY where he is, and appropriately challenged (which it sounds like he is from what you have said) then I would leave him with his current class.

Just because he's big for his age now doesn't necessarily he'll be big as a 12,13,14 year old, etc. I was the tallest in my first grade class. I'm 5'2!

Kids only get to be kids for a short time as it is. I wouldn't rush him through unnecessarily. My only concern is that he is challenged, which it sounds like he is.

Good luck with your decision!

Let me start with I had the chance to skip a grade early on & my parents wouldn't let it happen. One reason, which they won't admit, but I still believe was part of the reason is my older brother (by 2 years) struggled behaviorally in school. This they feared would get worse with his little sister, whom he was extremely jealous of, getting to move ahead. The other was my dad actually skipped two grades & his drawbacks were that he graduated at 16, which now days wouldn't be a problem, because you can start college early, but he was the youngest on the sports teams & therefore the last played, if he got to play at all. He also ended up running with older kids. I think this isn't as uncommon anymore so I would think your son wouldn't suffer any negative consequences from being moved ahead. I'm in favor of skipping a grade. As far I went, like one of the previous posts stated...I got bored & quit trying...gave up completely. I should be making 6 figures, but instead I struggle. (I excel at whatever work I do, I just don'thave a college background because I didn't care anymore) Would things have been different if my parents let me skip a grade, who knows. After understanding what my father went through (there's alot more) I no longer question them, but I do wish I would have had the chance. I'm assuming your school doesn't have a TAG program since they were just allowing him to go to the other classes. It's a win/win situation. The intelligent child gets what they need, but they also get to stay in class with kids in their age level.

Hi Kristina,

I'm the mother of a 17 year-old senior, who will be graduating in 2 weeks. She started kindergarten 2 months before she turned 5 (October birthday)due to the cut off in the state we were living in at the time. At the time I talked to her current and past pre-school teachers and the school district psychologist, and they all said she was ready. In December of that year we moved back here and I told her kindergargen teacher that if she had any doubts this would be a perfect opportunity to put her back in pre-school for another year. She reiterated that she was academically, emotionally, socially, and developmentally ready to be in kindergarten. She has done very well academically throughout her schooling, but you're correct that it's more the emotional/social that becomes a problem as they get older. I've noticed that she's more naive than her peers, more exuberant, has less social skills, and is more emotionally dependent on me than they are. None of this has been a major problem, and because she's always been in the grade with older peers she is more emotionally mature than the students her age. The driving issue was big, for two reasons. The first was that she very much wanted to drive when her peers were, and the second was that going to social events I prefered to drive her rather than having her in a car with an inexperienced drives, which she would definitely have prefered to having to have her mother drive her. Another consideration was sports. She was very active in cross country and soccer, and while she was a good runner and an excellent soccer player, her skills often showed her age, rather than her grade. That can be even more of an issue for a boy. I don't know if your son is interested in sports, but that's something to keep in mind. Because he has ADHD he's already at a bit of a disadvantage emotionally/maturity wise, so that would definitely be a big consideration to me. I can see your dilemma with his excellent academic progress, and while my daughter has always done very well in school, the grade decision had already been made so I only had she struggled would I have given it more thought. If I had it to do over again I would probably wait until she was starting school at 5 almost 6, due to the emotional/social differences in the middle school/high school years, but my decision was made before she ever started, rather than after I found my child was bored in his/her grade academically, so I feel you have a more difficult dilemma. I would talk to the school and see what they can offer him academically if he next year if he doesn't skip a grade, and if he doesn't have an IEP it should be considered. They are for children on both ends of the spectrum who need additional thought to their educational plan, whether because they are struggling due to learning disabilities or excelling due to intelligence. I wish I could offer more advice, but I can tell you sincerely that I sympathize with your decision. Any time my daughter has struggled socially or emotionally I have questioned that decision I made almost 13 years ago.

L. T

my oldest has an August birthday so for the school district here he is a year ahead in his class. He was always a bright and fast learner so even in preschool his teacher said he was ready for Kindergarten but he was very small for his age so she didn't know if the school district would let him start. Well we moved to the south and their cut off dates are October so he did in fact start Kindergarten that year and was quite small wearing a size 2T clothes. He did very well though and was more advanced than the rest of the class so his teacher also gave him work for the next grade level. His 1st grade teacher didn't work with him at all and he was quite bored that year and she was very mean to him because she thought he was being a smart alec but he did in fact know all the work and nothing was challenging him in 1st grade and should have been moved up but that school wouldn't do it. We just endured that year and he did very well with good teachers after that. We moved back to Missouri when he was in 5th grade. He has always been in more advanced classes or honor classes. He is 16 now, a junior in high school and taking several college level classes as well as other advanced classes that aren't offered as a college course and making good grades without having to work or study hard. He was also a military kid so went to several different schools in different states and seemed to adapt well to whatever curriculum they used and if it was something new that he didn't know he would catch up within a week and do fine. I think the hardest part for him was not being able to drive as a sophmore when most of his friends were driving because he wasn't old enough but it didn't bother him too much and he has high goals and plans to be a doctor. He is also well liked and has many friends older and younger than his age. My sis-in-law was hyper and they advanced her a grade and she said she did a lot better as she would get in more trouble when she was in the lower grade because she was bored and wasn't learning anything so when she got moved up she had to work more and kept her busier so she wouldn't get bored. She also graduated young and went to med school and started out a young doctor but also graduated with high honors in college.
I would say if the school recommends it then he will do fine. If he has ADHD then you want to make sure he doesn't get bored and keep his mind stimulated and learning as much as possible. Most of the time these kids act out when they are sitting there doing nothing. If he continues to love to learn then he will continue those skills through high school and will do fine. If he is big for his size, the teachers will expect more out of him because they will think he is older than what he is so he may do better being with older kids and won't have expectations set higher because he looks older.

My brother also did better getting moved to higher advanced classes. He got to the point in 1st grade where he wasn't being challenged so he just didn't do his work at all. The teacher recognized this and moved him up because she felt if he had harder stuff to do he wouldn't be bored and would work because she knew he was smart enough to do the work but felt it was too easy for him. He also did well in high school with advanced classes and has been very successful in his adult life with working his way up quickly in whatever job he works in and has learned many different skills and does them well. He likes a challenge and goes after it.

My cousin got moved up after 2 days of Kindergarten she moved to 1st grade and did very well all through school. Her sister was also very smart but didn't get moved up so put them a year apart in school but no one made a big deal about it and encouraged the older sister and let her know that she had a part in helping her little sister learn so well and is one of the reasons that her little sister got advanced because she always read books to her and played school with her when she got home from school. They are still very close and the older one pursued a college degree where the younger/advanced girl is still working on her degree as she chose to get married and start a family but they are both doing well and the younger one never acted like she was better than her peers and they are both sweet girls and easily liked.

Whatever choice you make just be positive and be proud of him. However don't make a big deal out of it and act like your child is smarter than others as I have seen other parents do because their kids got moved up a grade and their kids also act like they are better than anyone else and lose friends because their peers don't want to be around someone that thinks they know it all.

Hi Kristina,

I totally agree with the first post. Kids like him need to be stimulated in class or they can get bored and possibly quit trying.

My husband was one of those kids who really should have skipped a grade. He was so smart he would already know the answer before the teacher finished writing it on the chalkboard. He'd have to sit the last half of class without anything to do because he'd already finished his work. He has told me he would sit and be absolutely BORED!! He also told me the homework was too easy for him, that he found it boring and therefore, wouldn't do it.

I'm sure you want better for your son. My husband was teased a lot because he was, and is, so smart. Not to freak you out, but once my husband experienced one of his classmates pull a knife on him while he walked home one afternoon after school in junior high. Nothing terrible happened, but it could have. I'm sure if he was with kids who were a grade ahead, that probably wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have stuck out as much for being "brainy".

As your son, my husband was also big for his age and also had to overcome the assumption of being a bully. So that was two strikes against him. The teachers and kids learned quickly that he was a teddy bear... and still is!! :)

Yeah, I must admit... I've teased him about being smart. At church, in service or Sunday School, he's usually the one who answers the speaker first. I call him a "ball hog". A former pastor of ours has been known to call him, "Preacher Man". My husband is humbled by it, but I'm proud of him!!

So I guess my advice to you is, move him up!! If he's got the goods, then let him use it to his fullest ability and watch him soar!!! ls

If he's ok size wise and mentally I would let him go. As for the 16 and driving part: I always told my kids from 12 on to prepare them - You are not allowed to be in a car with a 16 year old driver at all (period). I told them that if the kid hadn't been driving for a year they weren't going. kids in cars together is a bad combination.

Prepare them early for the rules and they will accept them better when the time comes.

God Bless,
L.

One concern I would have (and this may sound a little silly to some moms) is sports. He may always lag behind if he's trying to compete against kids who are a year more mature than him. My husband was tested really high and his mom wouldn't let him skip a grade. Now our daughter is testing really high and he feels like it was a really good decision to not skip. He always did things outside of school that allowed him an opportunity to learn at a faster pace.

Also, have you thought about a Montessori school? I know there are some that go through 8th grade and their entire philosophy is to allow the kids to learn at their own pace.

Good luck!

Good Morning Kristina, Like the other Mama's I agree to let him skip ahead. Our Niece Sammi, graduates this year and has been taking college classes this year also. She won a full scholarship in Music, she works, attends church and has a happy sweet smile.

I wish there was something we could do for our gr son Corbin (4 last march). Most of you know by reading my post's he is a very smart little guy. Sometimes he just knocks my socks off by what he knows. We had to remove him from Preschool which was a very sad day for him and still is. He asks me all the time when can he go back to school. Personally I feel his teachers just didn't know how to keep him busy. Already knew his ABC's, Numbers, shapes, colors, and that was what they were teaching. So he got busy on his own, not sitting in circle but laying down to listen to stories, wanting to be the leader in lines, helping the other kids with their crafts. etc.. The straw that broke us was when they accused him of biting another child. We never got to see the mark or even see the child. (he hadn't ever or even now shown any signs of this type of behavior) Having the teacher tell us she had to Hire another teacher just to control him, telling us in her 14 yrs she never had a child like Corbin. Phooey!! She finally admitted he was the smartest child in the class, knew every one's names, and teachers names and used them. If they had another class for him to advance to we would of took it quickly. But he was only 3 and they wouldn't let him go in with the 4-5 yr olds even though he was their size...lol To talk to him & look at him, you would think he was a lot older then 4. We even asked her if she had any advice or information as to where he could continue going to school. No she didn't know of any place that could or would take him. I bit MY Tongue and thought Lady you don't belong in pre school you are having burn out. This Nana was very upset by her cutting words.
So I am still working with him daily here, he is still a bright, funny happy little guy. Just gotta keep him busy and fill his mind with the wonders of our wonderful World.
Yesterday coming back from errands, he found a turtle, dinosaur in the clouds and was excited. He sits with his baby brother and shows him books and tells him the story.

Let your son soar with wings of Eagles. You will always be there for him to support and encourage him. I think you will be amazed how much he will just blossom.
What a great mama you are.
God Bless you Kristina, you will both make it an even better world together.
K. Nana of 5

Kristina: I am 52 years old. I too was ahead one year in school. It really wasn't a big deal except for the "why can't I wear a bra" year and the driving year. Frankly, those were such small things in the big scheme of life, and it has had no repercutions with me as an adult. I have a two year old, who is progressing rapidly, and I will have no hesitation should her teachers propose bumping her up a year. You can't stifle their thirst for knowledge, and if he's craving more of it, let him go. I think as far as the emotional part, this is where your parenting becomes critical. Knowing when to say "yes" and "no" based on his ability to handle situations. My parents told me "no" a lot, and it was because they knew I wasn't emotionally ready for certain pre-teen/teen situations.

The being behind emotionally part is a big thing. I had the option of hoding my son back in kindergarden and I chose not to, but now I wish I did. Maturity wise and emotionally it would have been best for him, he is also a year younger than everyone and that made a difference with driving too. I would keep him where he is, when he is older, he can take more advanced classes and graduate early if he chooses, then it would be on his terms and he would be very proud of hiself for doing that.

Wow ok my son who will be 8 in Oct just started 2nd grade, I would say don't push him, let him stay in his own age group, if he falls behind you'll regret it later I'm so glad I didn't push my son and put him in early....and I understand about the ADHD, I myself have it, my children don't, but school is still hard at any age... I'd recommend keeping him in 2nd and not passing him on, let him be a kid for as long as he can :)

Does your school have an excellerated program? If so, see about putting him in that. There is nothing wrong with him staying where he is. If he is still ahead when he is older then he can take the advanced classes. I went to school with lots of kids like that and they graduated a year ahead instead of being moved up a grade. Don't know if this advice helps but I do hope you find a solution that will help your son and not hinder him. Good luck and God Bless.

When I was in kindergarten I went to first grade for reading and in first grade, second grade for reading, etc. until I got to a year where they gave me a choice in the matter, at which time I chose to stay in my grade-- because I wanted to be with my friends! Looking back, I wish the school had done much more for me (for one, I was reading more than a grade level higher). I don't feel I should have been given the choice as I was too immature to make it. It bothers me more hadn't been done with my abilities as each child should learn to their potential.

That said I have no advice for you. :-) The emotional maturity is definitely something to consider, and I don't feel my life was ruined by being kept in the same grade. Just thought I'd share how I feel about my situation, looking back.

I know that it all depends on the child and the situation and what else your school has to offer. There is no one right answer. I just wanted to say that my niece skipped 3rd grade this year. Her step mother (who she lives with) was a teacher for years before marrying into children and I know it was a hard decision, she was already in the upper grade for some subjects and there is no real gifted program at their school. There have been some difficulties along the way, but they are very glad they made the decision. I always wonder if she will just get bored again once she catches up, but I think you will look at all the possibilities and make the decision that works best for your family. I think it will be fine either way, it will work out.

K.

I would not let my child skip a grade. A year is a big deal in their short lives, and all of the research shows that school is geared to girls, so boys have a harder time. I'm sure he's smart enough, but he is also a boy, and they need lots of physical activity. If he skips a grade, he will have less opportunity for that. Besides, I don't see any benefit except academic, and that's really not that important if the child is emotionally miserable. Find other ways, outside of school, to stimulate him. Get his IQ tested, and if he qualifies, get him into gifted education as soon as possible.

Personally, I would wait. Boys usually run a little slower than girls emotionally anyway, and I think it would be more of a struggle for him at the 15-16 year age difference. Give him time, it's better to be the "big guy" in school, than to be the "little guy". I've had 2 boys. Both had to wait a year due to their birthdays, and it worked out great. They are now 18 and 24.
Just love him, they grow so fast.
Be Blessed,
Mama Merz

Some 20 plus years ago I was faced with a similar situation with my son. He was in pre-school attending just 3 days a week and 4 years old at the time. In those days a child had to be 5 by July 1 to attend Kindergarten, however with reservations they would allowed children to attend as long as they were 5 by the first day of school. I was bound and determined that my child would be attending...period!!! I asked his pre-school teacher her thoughts on the matter. She said although he was more than ready to handle learning she had two concerns that I hadn't even thought about. Those being his maturity level and his ability to handle peer pressure. She went on to say when the time came and his friend were pressuring him to do something ie..drugs, skip school, etc. he might not have the maturity to make the right decisions and then I would have a whole new set of problems, besides its easier to wait a year to start him than go ahead and realize he wasn't ready and need to hold him back. She went on to say if I waited a year he would be a year ahead of most children in growth and he'd have another year of maturity behind him. Most boys mature at a slower pace than girls and hopefully this would give him an advantage when faced with tuff decisions. The thought of my child using drugs was enough to cause me to wait. As we would find out in the 2nd grade our child was "gifted" as yours. He was attending Sycamore Hills (which we LOVE, but that's another story) and his 2nd grade teacher recommended that we have him tested to attend IMPACT. He started IMPACT in the middle of 2nd grade and loved it!!!!! If you're not familiar with this program please check with your grade school, it's wonderful. Those "gifted" children attend regular school 4 days a week and on the 5th day they are removed from regular class and sent by bus to another school for advanced education classes. I just checked with Sycamore to make sure the program is still available and it just so happened that Sycamore was the host school this year. It is offered for all the elementry schools in Independence. Hope you live in this area. Please check your school for availibilty. It's a great program and kept my child challenged and still allowed him to go through school with the friends he had made in Kindergarten. Sorry for the long response but if you can't tell I'm passionate about public education and doing the best for my children.

Kristina,

You will have more than enough opinions on this subject matter. I know because we just went through it a couple months ago. Our son was accelerated from second to third grade after spring break. We really weren't in favor of it until we met with his 'team' and realized that they really did look at EVERYTHING before making this recommendation. Our son is also a big kid and a sports nut so we looked at all aspects - not just academic. One thing that made our decision easier is when his teacher said that it breaks her heart watching him do everything by himself when the others were working in groups! We have been VERY happy with the decision so far. He has fit in great and LOVES it! He is still testing at the top of his class but at least he can work with others now. He seems much happier now than he has been the last couple years in school. So with all that said, you really just need to do what is best for your kiddo. After meeting with his 'team' you will know. Good luck - it's a big decision and one that we really struggled with as well.

As a teacher for 11 years, DON'T skip the grade. I have taught several very intelligent children and a few "gifted" kids, and they are just fine in the grade they are intended to be in. There are so many ways to enrich a child's life and challenge him without having to move them up the ladder too fast. He will be in school for the next 14 years or more, there is no reason to push now. Let him be with his peers, especially if you are seeing some emotional immaturity. School is certainly a place to learn academic material (we call this IQ), but the bigger picture is the life lessons children learn in school (getting along with others, patience, acceptance, tolerance, work ethic, empathy...we call this EQ-emotional quotient) and studies have shown that a person's emotional quotient is a much bigger predictor of success in life than his/her IQ. Don't rush it!

Personally, I would not let him skip the grade. Let him be a kid as long as he can. Work with his school and teachers to make sure he is always challenged, but not the teacher's pet... Why push the kiddo into growing up any earlier than he has to...

I know the NKC school district has a SAGE (http://w4.nkcsd.k12.mo.us/~sage/) program for kids that need the extra challenge... Look into what your district offers.

I had the same thing with my son. He was advanced and they thought he would be bored with the 2nd grade. I decided he needed to experience each grade regardless, also I followed my gut insticts. I did and all went well he is in his 30's and bright with no regrets.
Do what your insticts tell you.

Kristina,

Hello! Congratulations on having to make this decision! Although I am sure it is difficult, it is wonderful to have a child doing so well. I taught 2nd grade for several years before having my son. I had a full spectrum of abilities (both mentally and emotionally). Some students reading at much higher levels - or other advancements, but also some who probably should have been retained and not able to work at a 2nd grade level. My advise would be to keep your son in his grade. His teachers should be able to find appropriate ways to enrich lessons for him. There are also programs such as "resource room" where gifted teachers work with children several times a week. I think it is really hard for kids to adjust to the emotional development of older kids when they aren't ready. I wish you the best!

I know you have had alot of responses so I'll make this quick. I skipped the first grade also, many years ago. I loved it because I wasn't bored. So many kids hate school for all different reasons so if he loves it, I would hate to see him get bored and disinterested. Hope this helps. Good luck.

I think that it would be a good idea to let him skip. My daughter gets bored in school. She has never been put up a grade but I think that it would do her more good than harm. She is a gifted child and has too much time on her hands. If it doesn't work out for your son, then, there is always the chance to have him "held back" and he won't really be behind. Just my thought.

Hmm, tough decision. I am wondering if he would gain more confidence knowing he skipped a grade, Also, not everybody at 16 gets to drive at 16. Also, Is there a gifted program and have you had him tested for his IQ? Lauren is 7 and she was tested and her IQ is around 120. My sentiment is don't hold your son back let him soar, trust that he will develop friendships and have an adventurous and wonderful highschool life. You have alot of power to guide, inspire and motivate him along the way. Let him fly!!!!

T.

Kristina,

I've been where you are and based on what you've said, I personally would not have him skip a grade. You can always find academic challenges for him, but as he gets older the emotional maturity level and organizational readiness issues that come along with ADHD will be more critical to his ability to perform and succeed in middle school, high school and beyond. I think the most telling thing you said was when you acknowledged that you would have no problem in holding him back. Hope this feedback is helpful.
M.

All I know is my own experience. I skipped kindergarden (I know, big deal) but it did push me ahead a grade. My birthday is in December, so I was 17 when I graduated high school and when I started college. I was emotionally more mature than my age from a very young age and that helped a lot. If he will be younger, less mature, and possibly more hyper due to the ADHD, you may want to keep him where he is. I would say when I was in grade school it was harder than when I was in high school. Hope that helps!!

K.

I was always the young one in my grade, and sometimes it was frustrating - everyone else was 8 and I was just 7. One day my mom told me to think of it a different way - instead of thinking that everyone else was ahead of me, I should realize that I'm getting to do everything before they are - They had to wait until they were 10 to be in 5th grade, but I get to do it at 9. They had to wait until they were 18 to graduate, but I got to do it at 17. This little change in perspective helped me get over my frustration at being younger. Even with being bumped up a year, I was still bored at times - but my mom stimulated my learning at home with books and activities.

I couldn't help but think about how as adults we often wish for more time (one more day or week or year) - in a sense, you'd be giving your son an extra year to explore. He could take a year off between high school and college to work/travel/study - and still be right on track with his age group. This practice is very common in other countries, especially Australia.

Trust your instincts - you're the mommy and you know your son the best. :)

Hi Kristina, I don't blame you for having a hard time on this, I know that I would. I don't have much input, but had a little. My sister was the youngest in her class and had ADD when she was little (she's 26 now and still can't sit still!) She could do all the work and was a little ahead of kids in her grade, but due to her being more immature that the other kids had a really hard time. She was held back a year beacause of it, so that does make a diffrence to kids to be on the same level emotionally. You are right to take that into consideration.

And I know how you feel with him being bigger. I have a 7 year old who is tall for her age and almost a year older than all the other kids (her birthday is mid August). She is bigger than a lot of the second graders! I know that she has complained about being bigger than the other kids and she's pretty smart so she gets board easily. I don't think she's ready to skip a grade, but the teachers do give her extra stuff to keep her busy. Wish I could just put bricks on her head to keep her from growing so quick!

Talk to you son to see how he would feel about skipping a grade. I know that them being board in class is about as bad as them being behind. Good luck!!

Kristina, I think you have to go with your mommy instincts and trust your heart. I think it is very telling that you say if it were to hold him back you would do it. I think he is awful young to make that kind of decision. I have a son who is very bright and could easily have skipped a grade
( he is in 7th grade and just took his SAT and score as well as an average kid headed off to college) but emotionally he is on the same level as his peers and he has some maturity issues and responsibility issues that would never make me comfortable having him skip a grade, that would only add to our problems I think. Ultimately you have to weigh what you see as pro's and con's, and if you are worried and uncomfortable I would say let it wait. There is nothing wrong with him being smarter, it means good grades, it gives him time to mature. It is always something you can contemplate down the road...there are usually gifted and talented classes offered in the higher grades, and there is always extra credit work. There are ways to stimulate his mind without bumping him forward a year. That is just my opinion though. Be sure and be positive about whatever choice you make because you know your child best= )
B.

speaking as a teacher myself, the most important thing that ur child needs that will lead to him emotional health and happiness is the appropriate social/emotional skills. his teacher should continue to give him 2nd grade work, and you should do all u can to help stimulate him. if he is boosted into 2nd grade, but is emotionally on a first grade level, he will be very unhappy. also as he has adhd, that makes it even more difficult for him to get along socially (as people with adhd or add have difficulty reading body language.) Speaking as a child who had adhd and was boosted into 2nd grade after the second quarter of 1 grade , i had a very difficult time of it. I would reallly reccomend u wait until he has better soc/emo skills to deal with it. If he learning skills continue to climb, he can always skip ahead when he is older.

I have a daughter when she was in the 4th grand they was trying to skip her cause she was more advance in school they tryed a gifted school she did not like it she wanted to stay in her shool going from the 4th to the 6th grand is big leap but its about how your son feel talk to him he may be youg but let him have a voice in the matter and expiain to him it may work out for you good luck

My parents were recommended to have me skip a grade, but they did not because my sister was in the grade ahead of me, so it would have been bad for her. I spent all my elementary, junior, and most of high school career very bored with school. When I actually did have to start studying, I didn't really know how... when everyone else learned that skill early, I still coasted. I would recommend that you skip him.

Good luck!

You have sooo many responses and I am very late in my response, but I just made this decision this past fall. My son is also in 1st grade. He went to 2nd grade reading and math, but I eventually just had him drop math and stay in his own level, because he was too aware of missing his own class mates and sometimes got no recess at all on the days he had math.
Have you inquired on the internet? That is one way we made our decision to keep him in grade one. There were a lot of personal examples and some research studies on-line that we thought were beneficial. After researching on our own and praying we decided to keep him in first grade. Obviously, every situation is different as is every child, but so far, it has been a great decision. He is thriving because he is helping other students, is a leader, and is learning about how everyone is at different levels of learning and that that is normal.
My advice would be to study it out, go with your instincts according to your knowledge of your son, and don't make your decision because someone else told you it would be best for your son. You do know best.
Good luck!
K.

I was faced with a similar situation. My oldest is "too smart" for her age group so I moved her up where she would be the youngest. I had had her eval to make sure this was a good idea. The response I got was go ahead and move her because she needs the challange. Otherwise she could get bored with school then not do as well or become trouble. Just remember to watch for the emotional stress. So each year just after Christmas break she would have melt downs. This is when her emotional age met with her physical age. Lots of praise, extra help with tutoring to build her confidence etc. Move him up and plan on emotional meltdowns. His ADHD will need the challenge,but the support will help him focus.

Does your school have a gifted program. Many of the schools also participate in a program for extremely gifted. My kids were in the regular gifted program, which my middle school my daughter hated. I think it was the teacher and middle school. I made her continue but found out later all her female friends (not all females, just her friends)were allowed to drop that class and just take the advanced classes. (Don't forget there is a difference between advanced and gifted.) We knew of three boys that participated in the extremely gifted program. Two dropped out of that program. It's different and harder to feel comfortable and make friends in that program. Your son is young enough that he should be okay being promoted one grade if there is not a gifted program. I feel I should say my father is against being promoted because he was promoted 2 years and was so much younger than his peers in high school. I do worry about his ADHD. You do want to make sure it is under under control or older children will think of him as a baby.

Well we had a similar situation with our 8 year old recently and we chose to put her in 4th grade (skipping 3rd). There were a couple of reasons, first, we feel she is comfortable going to 4th grade based on where she is with Math, Reading, Social Skills etc. Second, her niece is going to be in the same grade so we thought that would help emotionally as well.

In hindsight, we are very happy with our decision as our daughter is coping up quite well. It's interesting how quickly they adapt to challenges. My caution is, as many have suggested, don't skip for the sake of skipping or getting an edge. There is plenty of time for that, the child needs to enjoy and be engaged in the learning if it means skipping down a grade, as someone pointed out, it's crucial in the early years that the child doesn't get discouraged about learning.

http://www.himahi.com .......where it is Play + Learn = :)

I myself have been in that situation, both for 1st and 3rd grades. Yes I wasn't able to drive in highschool when everyone else was but I am grateful that my mother made the decision to allow me to excel. I am in the same situation with my son now, he is headed to the Big Kindergarden class this fall, after our schools open house I am feeling more and more that he will be held back by those children that cannot yet write their names and know their letters, and I certainly don't want him to become the class "clown". He tested out of the K level at 100% and is now reading at almost the 2nd grade level. He is my drama child so emotionally he is still my baby, but I would be all for the teacher giving him harder work so as to not slow him down. I don't really think it would do him harm to allow him to "skip", if after a period of time the teacher can decide if he is able to stay or needs to go back to his own class. You will never know unless you let him give it a try. You may be suprised!!
Tks T.

I don't have any experience with skipping a grade, but I will say that I was always one of the youngest people in my grade (I started kindergarten when I was 4; my birthday is September 24th, so I turned 5 about a month after school started) and I was always glad that my mom didn't hold me back (since some parents did when their child was so close to the birthday cut-off) since I was definitely ready for school then and I've always liked being younger, because I've felt I was somehow ahead of other people, going to college younger, graduating younger, etc. The driving thing never bothered me--all of my friends got their licenses during their sophomore year of high school, and I had to wait until the beginning of my junior year, but it wasn't a big deal--I was just glad they could drive me. However, that is something to think about--whether you want your son being the passenger in other kids' cars rather than driving himself. The thing that most bothered me about being younger was when I started college I wasn't 18 yet, and a bunch of people were going to go dancing at a club that you had to be 18 to get into, so I couldn't go. And of course, when he's 21, there will be that issue. I would guess those things would bother him more that driving, but I suppose it depends on the individual. Anyway, none of these things has bothered me that much, and overall I'm glad I have always been young for my grade.

Anyway, I wouldn't focus too much on the far-off future as far as driving and all of that stuff...I think what matters most is whether he seems ready now to skip a grade. Do you think some of his ADHD is caused by the fact that he gets bored because the curriculum isn't challenging enough for him? That would definitely be a reason to let him skip a grade, but you mentioned his emotional maturity wasn't necessarily up to that same level, so that's definitely something to think about. Does he have good friends in his class? If so, it might be hard for him to leave them behind. Have you asked him about this at all? I know he's very young to be making a big decision like that, but his feelings are pretty important, since he'd be the one most impacted.