Sleep - Woodland Hills, CA

Updated on March 22, 2008
H.P. asks from Woodland Hills, CA
10 answers

I have a 5 1/2 year old and 22 month old. I need to have my 22 month old out of my bed and into hers. We have no schedule with this child. She sleeps when she wants and plays when she wants. I would like to create a schedule that works. I haven't had any sleep for about 22 months. I am extremely exhausted. I need advice on how I can get her to sleep on her own and also through the nite. Please help.

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H.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

If I didn't sleep for 22 months, I would be right now! Seriously though, what are her sleeping arrangements? Does she have her own bed? Does she share a room with her sibling? Does she take naps? Do you get her up in the morning or let her sleep in? I know you're extremely tired, but we need a little more to be able to help you out.....

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you spend 1 week walking her back to her bed every time and tell her she has to stay in her bed and no longer (at all kids dont understand why they can do things some times and not others) allow her in your bed, then she will learn, you shut her door and wait outside her door. Then when she comes out you walk right back in. Most toddlers like stickers. Buy some cheap stickers and make a chart. For every day she stays in her bed she gets a sticker on her chart when she has 3 days in a row, then she gets to go to the park or do an activity with mommy. If she doesnt then she cant watch TV or what ever her vise is that makes it a punishemnt for her. But if you make the goal to far away, then she will lose interest on the goal....

We say prayers and put on her CD player with relaxing music and walk out! I have a 12yr. old boy and a 6 yr. old girl and it worked on both. A routine is key!

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N.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hello H.,
My son is about the same exact age as your 22 month old almost 2 huh. I know it's hard. I will tell you the techniques I went through b/c it was hard for me!!!
The baby just wants you re-assurance.I know that motheryly instinct is just really strong and hard to get rid of when they cry and when they can't get what they want. I started by taking him to play areas. Making sure I tire him out all day. His food needs to be on a schedule. WHen they wake etc... When you get close to putting the baby to bed read a book a calming think maybe even a bath. Then you bring the baby to the crib once you know baby is tired yawning closing eyes. Let baby cry out for about 15 mins. Go in pat baby's back. Then wait 30 mins. Then 15-30 so on...same rubbing back, please avoid interaction and eye contact and talking. That will keep them awake they are smart!!! Try this for a week or so.. It's the only way I know it's hard,but you have to break the habit if you want sleep. Believe me I needed it!!
Best Wishes
N. Shane

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N.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

You need to be firm. While it is very difficult, you should be able to break her in about 1 week. Start the bedtime routine promptly at 7pm. Start with a warm bath where you gently wash her and talk to her in a quiet voice. After that, and once she is dressed in her pj's, have her pick 2 books to read to her. Turn all the lights out except for a soft reading lamp in her room. Quietly read to her and have her point out pictures of things she sees. Once the books have been read, turn off the light, turn on a night light, kiss her and leave the room, with the door slightly ajar. The first time she gets up, pick her up and quietly tell her it is time for bed and tucker her back in. Every time following that, just take her by the hand, do not say one word to her, put her in bed and leave the room. She is looking for feedback so if you don't give it to her, she will give up. Every night she will get up less and less, until finally bedtime is bedtime.

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A.C.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Does your 22 month old have her own bed. When we converted our daughter's crib to a toddler bed at age 15 months old she was excited to see her bed decorated with her own bedding and a few stuffed animals, we explained that she was developing into a little girl, no longer a baby. We set up a TV with a DVD player in the room facing her bed. Try setting up her own little sanctuary and be thrilled about it, she will feed off this. During the day, this is where our daughter spends most of her quiet time watching her all time favorite DVD's Dora, Max and Ruby, and the Backyardigans. When very tired she will fall asleep on her own during the day. At night she falls asleep in the living room area on the couch and we place her in her bed when all lights are out. She pretty much sleeps through the nights unless she's not feeling well or wakes from a dream. She'll snuggle into bed with us, but as soon as she falls asleep, we place her back in her bed. She is now 28 months old and some days will or won't take a day nap, but as long as she gets a little rest in bed, that's all that counts. Best of luck, you'll find a way as you know her best.

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T.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have found with my childern schedule is key to happy sleep. Everything is like clock work. They really need to know what to expect. You need to gear yourself for a rough begining and you have to stay strong. It's going to be a lot tougher on you, especially since she knows what gets you.
I would establish a daytime routine first. decide when you want her nap to be and in the beging you put her to sleep, but in her bed not yours. My childern's sched. is they eat breakfast between 7:30-8. We play or do an activity. We have snack @ 10:30 play or activity lunch 11:30 or 12. Nap is at 1:00 they sleep anywhere from an hour and half to two and half hours. they get a snack when they wake-up I try to eat dinner somewhere between 5 & 6 depends on how the day went. we have family time after dinner. baths are between 7 & 7:30 story time they're in bed by 8.
You decide how you want you day to go, when you want her to nap and when you want her bed time to be and when you want her snacks and meal times to be. Once you get her on a schedule and she gets use to it, then you can work on her sleeping in her own bed. What ever you decide you have to stick with it. It can take you close to a month to get everything in place. Good Luck. Let me know how it goes
T.

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L.H.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

H. -

I don't support the harsh notion of sticking her in a bed alone and letting her cry for hours until she finally gives in. But, you MUST get her out of your bed and get some rest. I would try laying in her bed with her for a good 1/2 hour -- reading her a story, holding her hand, getting her comfortable in there. Also, spend a lot of time with her in her room during the day. Make it hers. Play with her in there, and turn it into a place that she feels at home. Let the full transition occur over time, but safely and calmly. She'll likely wake up and come into your bed several times. If you have the energy, your best bet is to take her back into her room and lay with her again until she's calm enough to sleep there until morning. If not, try again the next night.

It worked for me. And no terrible screaming and banging on the door... I just couldn't bear that!!

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K.M.

answers from San Diego on

It will be tough in the beginning but you really need to decide how you want your day to go. Figure out when DD needs to be awake so that you can drop off and pick up DS from school. Then decide when you want your day to start and stop with your DC.

Rough example:
DD wakes up at 7am because DS needs to go to school at 7:30am. Take him to school, come home, make breakfast, get dressed, play for awhile. Have a snack or better yet have an early lunch around 11:30 and have her in her own bed around 12-12:30 for a nap/quiet time.
Get DD up from nap/quiet time around 2pm. Pick DS up.
Come home have a snack with both of them. Play and hang out.

Do your bedtime routine and put DD in her own bed to sleep. If she gets up and tries to go into your bed; carry her back to her bed and tuck her in. It will only take a couple nights at the most for her to learn to sleep in her bed. She will cry and she will have a tantrum but you can't give in otherwise you're perpetuating the problem and making the adjustment harder on her.

Play with the times for your schedule but write it down so you can see it in black and white and know exactly what you intend to do.

Good Luck!

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J.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi, my name is Jennifer an I have a 5 yr old boy. I would like to give a little advice and hope it works. I really think you have to come up with a schedule and be strict with it from day one. From getting up in the morning when you take you oldest to school the baby gets up with you, have breakfast and such. I find playing with the child and tiring them out to take that afternoon nap helps and that gives you time to relax and sleep yourself if you want to. I never let my son sleep any later then 2 hrs, now if you can get her to lay down on the couch to a movie or in her own room if you have that set up is better then in your room. You have to take control and get her out and on her own or she'll take over and you'll never see it, whats worse is you might have more problems with her later that you are not aware of. Get night lights and a music box for her and if she crys at night then she crys. If you make her room happy and warm she will soon adapt. If you have a hard time with that just wait till she is asleep in your bed and put her in her room. With her waking up in her room every morning she will get used to it. Well I hope some of my output helps you. Good Luck and get some sleep!

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H.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

If your 22 month old does not have a crib... GET ONE. Then buy the Crib Tent II. You will not regret it. If you have a portable crib they have a Portable Crib Tent but you have to buy it online at totsinmind.com .

If your 22 month old would understand that she is getting a sticker for staying in bed... KUDOS! My daughter is 30 months and still wouldn't understand that. She started climbing out of her crib at 22 months. We tried to put her in a toddler bed but that didn't go well. I need my sleep so I bought the tent and have not regreted at all! I love that thing. A few weeks ago she seemed to be getting more mature about bed time so we took the tent down and turned her crib into a bed. It lasted for about 2 weeks. The tent is back and is staying for at least a few more months.

I have to tell you that my favorite thing about the tent is how happy she is. She cries when we start to zip it until I tell her that isn't in trouble but that she just needs it zipped so she can go to sleep. Now she is so well rested that she is very happy. A few nights ago she woke up at 3 am. Normally that would me that she and I were going to be up coloring or reading until 5 or 6. Instead I took her to the bathroom and gave her a couple books, put her back in the crib and she stayed there talking to herself while I laid in my bed mostly asleep (cause I don't sleep when my children are awake) but resting. She was up talking to herself until 5:30 and then she woke up at 7:30 perfectly happy. We will use this for at least until her 3rd birthday in July.

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