Sleep Deprived Mom

I always put a blanket in the dryer for a few minutes to get it nice and warm. I would then swaddle my baby with itand put them back to bed- It worked wonders for us. Hopefully it will be just enough for you. Good luck- KW

Hi Lynelle, My son was never a good sleeper and my sister seemed to remind me constantly of how both her kids slept through the night at 2 months (I'm not buying it). My son (Sam)will be one this month. He suffered from reflux for awhile and Aloe juice in a bottle seemed to help. Most health food stores carry it but if you want a better tasting, strawberry flavored aloe juice you can get it under "health and nutrition" at www.marketamerica.com/swalthers. I cleared it with an MD first. It has worked wonders for us. I have had friends who let their babies cry for awhile, but I was too much of a wimp for that. Anyway, he will probably grow out of this phase soon so hang in there. Things will get better, good luck. :-) S.

My son had the same problem. We elevated the head of his crib/bassonet so that if he did fall asleep right after her ate we could hold him for about 20 minutes and then lay him down (with him not flat). We still have problems with him not wanting to sleep, he doesn't really cry it out he just wants us in his room. We sit with him for about 10 minutes and if he doesn't go to sleep in that time he knows he'll have to do it on his own. (He's now 3).

Good luck. I hope it gets better for you.

Lynnelle,

I too have a little guy with reflux. He is now 4 months. We have found that if we hold/rock, etc. that he stays awake and will not sleep also. I think it is because he is very observant and doesn't want to miss a thing. The only way he falls asleep with me holding is when he is at the breast or bottle. However, the minute I pick him up to put him down he is wide awake. The ONLY thing and I mean the ONLY thing that has worked for him to sleep well is to do what we call a "pacifier wrap". This is where we wrap him up tight (making sure his arms are down) and then put in a pacifier (upside down with the lip if it has one is up) and use the blanket to keep it in his mouth and then place him in his carseat which then goes in the crib. He is still able to get rid of the pacifier when he doesn't want it anymore, but this helps keep it in while he is trying to get to sleep and needs to suck. He fights us at first with this method and cries as we put in the pacifier, but quickly starts sucking and then is fine and falls asleep soon afterward.

I read that sucking on a pacifier is good for kids with reflux because it produces saliva that coats the throat. Also, propping him in his carseat helps the reflux too, so perhaps this combination is soothing to him I hope. :)

Incidentally, despite the little amount of crying as we get him prepared for this I haven't found that he doesn't trust me or my husband, he is very attached to us both and we get lots of smiles and recognition from him. So don't worry, a little crying won't kill him and in fact, he will learn to soothe himself and should sleep better and longer.

Best of luck!

H. C.

With our baby's "colic" and sleeplessness it turned out to be dairy/soy intolerance. There is a big difference between intolerance and allergy, and between sensitivity to lactose vs. casein (milk protein). The latter are often also sensitive to soy. It actually causes lesions in their upper gut! Get your baby tested so you really know what's going on (occult blood in the stool for protein intolerance, finger prick for allergy). I breastfeed so I've have to cut out every form of dairy and soy, including butter, whey, and other things you might not suspect. It's made a world of difference and gotten us both a lot more sleep!

Try a swing or a beanbag chair. I was a very sickly baby and I've taken care of a number of sickly babies. The beanbag chair allows a child to remain more upright and feel swaddled which sometimes helps a child sleep longer. The slow motion of a swing also helps. A soothing scented candle and soft music may help too.

We had that problem. A few times i put him in the baby swing intending to just lay on the couch til he fell asllep. I was so sleep depived that I fell asleep with out trying. I woke up 5 hours later with him in the swing still swinging and he was OUT. Still sleeping. It was the most sleep i had had since he was born. I felt like a new person. I did that a few times when i got desperate but i didnt want him too dependant on it or me for that matter since I knew he would out grow it eventually. I had the battery opperated swing. it was great. Hope that helps a little.
J.

I would recommend taking him to a naturopath. Has your Pediatrician checked for breathing blockages that might prevent your baby from sleeping? Unfortunately, there is no way to let them CIO without them losing trust. They may not show it yet, but it will show in behavioral problems later. At least, according to what I've read. I feel your pain. I really do. I would find out what is keeping him from sleeping. I know that you probably have already tried, but see if you can find a good naturopath that might help where the medical doctor can't. Has it always been this way or just recently? Could he be teething? Have you tried Hyland's teething tablets? I would also try Gripe Water for the stomach issues. Sometimes the medication they give for reflux can be a little too strong. It made it worse for my daughter, where the Gripe Water worked great.
Good luck and remember that this is only temporary. He will sleep eventually.

Have you tried any of the Harvey Karp "methods" from The happiest baby on the block? swaddling tight, safe jiggling, shushing, swinging,etc.

It has worked for my daughter who is now 4 and I'm using the methods now for my newborn baby.

try adding a little bit of baby cereal to your baby's bottle. It will fill him up and he will sleep better. not to much just a dry spoonful or two to an 8oz bottle. Shake it up real well. Might have to make the hole in the nipple "slightly" bigger so it doesn't clog. That's what I did with my son and my parents did with us kids when we were little and so on back down the line.

Maybe he possibly can't breathe well when he is lying down.It could be that his nose and sinuses get plugged from the milk and he feels like he is suffocating. Maybe try to have him sleep at an angle. My daughter when she was born had an immature esophageal flap and was constantly throwing up after she ate and was always hungry. I took her crib mattress and put a hard pillow under the mattress pad at one end. It helped. I also made sure to keep her up a lot during the day. Good luck
Lisa

Try giving him Peperment tea half hour before you give him a bottle it will help with the reflux

I have two tips for you. Change the directions he is sleeping and see in which one he sleeps the best. Start from head pointing North (best one for babies). I wished someone gave me that advice 4 years ago. My son didn't started sleeping longer until he was able to turn him-self around the crib - head North. It sounds weard but it worth to try it. Back than I had to take him in our bed, it worked for all of us, we all started to have some sleep. I'm not sure if the solution was that his head was pointing North or because he felt better next to mommy. The second tip is to put the crib in your room on your side. This is what worked for us. Good luck!

Oh honey,

I know what it means to be a sleep deprived mom. I thought it was bad when my 1st woke up three times a night. Then my next began waking frequently at 5 months of age, like 5-10 times a night. Nursing practically all night long. It's a rough road.

My thoughts are:

You should not let him cry himself to sleep if you think he might be in physical pain that is keeping him from sleeping because it won't make him sleep and he may wonder why Mom and Dad won't help him.

You don't say what he takes in the bottle so I assume it is formula? If so, he could be allergic to the formula he's eating. Cows milk is a common allergen. There are soy formulas, but you have to be careful with those as well because soy is also a common allergen. There are also more expensive formulas that are more easily digested that you might check with your doctor about trying. This is probably the last thing on your mind, but I'll just throw it out there: it is possible to re-lactate, meaning re-establish breast milk. It takes a bit of effort, but if you found that formula was causing too much problem for him it could be worth a shot. That said, my kids were both breast fed and it's many things, but certainly not a cure for sleep problems!

Good luck. Try switching with your husband for who spends the night with him so that you each can have some nights of good sleep. Even though you're not working you still have to function (and not drop the baby!) and you shouldn't have to be the only one losing sleep.

My grandson went through the same thing. I suggested several times that my daughter try a soy formula, and she always told me her pedi had just changed his formula -- to another cow's milk formula. He spent a lot of nights with me, and he kept me up. One day I just went out and bought a can of soy formula and gave it to him, and that was the end of the problem. He was allergic to cow's milk. You might give that a try.

I dont' think this is a matter of self suthing. Cry it Out doesn't work most of the time and I personaly think it isn't a nice thing. I have known Mom's to use this methad adn did myself for my first son before I knwo better. I made bed time a hoable thing for a long time. I would use it only as a last resort.

IF your formula feeding it may be that he isn't digesting it well. Try a more miled formula. He also sounds like he has no time agenda. Try to keep him awake as long as u can. Dont' let him fall alsleep every time he eats. It is becoming a bad sleep assosiation and u don't need that.

I recently discovered a natural remedy that has really helped with my 5 month old daughter's reflux & eczema.

She was covered in red splotches so the doctor said to slather on the petroleum jelly, but that ultimately, there was nothing that could really be done! A friend of mine told me about hazelwood necklaces and ointments that had dramaticaly helped her son’s reflux (she was able to take him off Zantac within 2 weeks of him wearing it).

Apparently, the hazelwood (wood from a hazelnut tree) has the property of absorbing excess acid(which is the root cause of many problems including reflux & eczema) in your body when the wood is against your skin.

I was really skeptical but I decided to buy a necklace and give it a try. Within 2 weeks, my daughter's eczema was all but gone. She also doesn’t spit up nearly as much anymore (she used to spit up so much that we had to have a pocket bib to catch it all) All she has left are a few dry spots, but nothing like before! I have been so amazed by this product that I decided to make them available to other moms here since they are not commonly available in the US (these necklaces come from Canada) and could help so many people!

I know it's hard to believe that wearing a necklace could help so much, but when you're facing the potential of harsh meds, it's definitely worth a try, especially since they are inexpensive!
I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see my baby daughter's skin soft and smooth and not all blotchy and red...there are no words!

If you’re interested, check out www.hazelaid.com

I really hope this is as helpful for you as it was for me.

I was going to suggest a swing also, or there's a product out there called Amby. Its kind of a swing, but basically a hammock (not motorized). A friend of mine's son had horrible reflux and slept so well in his Amby. Its Dr. Sears recommended too (which always piques my interest). Good luck and I hope you find something to work so you can both get some sleep!

I too had a child that wouldn't sleep for more than 3 hours straight, so with the next child, I let him cry for 10 min at 6 mo, check on him, calm him down, and back down for another 10 min. I also did this with my 3 mo old son, I didn't want to wait another 6 mo so he would know what to expect when it was bed time. I only put him to sleep in his crib, not in the living room to be woke. I also put him on his tummy, he won't sleep for very long if on his back. I did the same thing with this one, cry for 10 min, soothe till calmed down, that took about 2 hours of on and off going in, but he's now 4 mo old and crys maybe 5 min if that. Works great, I slept 8 hours straight for the first time in over 4 mo the other night! Good luck!

I would try 3 things:

A trial of elemental formula (Nutramigen or Alimentum) - that will rule out a milk or soy allergy that may be exacerbating reflux (very common). If you are nursing, try taking milk and soy out of your diet for a week or 2. If you are nursing and drinking any caffeine, that will worsen reflux and affect sleep too.

Probiotic and gripewater can be GREAT for reflux (this isn't colic if it goes on 24/7 - colic is fussiess that happens routinely at a certain time of the day in a baby that is otherwise doing well)

If you haven't gotten a prescription yet for Zantac, I would talk to your doc

I've been there with my first and I'm sympathetic! Good luck, it only gets easier!

Hi Lynelle,
My daughter has acid reflux. We got her outfitted in a wedge at 3 weeks from childrens hospital. She slept in that for naps and at night until she was 7 months old. She slept great as soon as we got her in a more upright position. Insurance covers it! I would give them a call.
good luck

I highly recommend the book Baby Wise. I'm not sure of the author, but it should be easy to look up. This book helped my cousin after being sleep deprived for 8 months, then she passed it on to me and I have since given in to many friends. It is a very easy read book with lots on tips about getting your kids on good sleeping routines. It will be hard at first to do what they are asking but worth it! Your child should be sleeping better within a week.

Good Luck!

Lynelle -- I feel for you -- sleep deprivation is so hard. I am not a huge fan of letting little ones cry it out - have you tried some "sleep training" stuff like particular music, same routine when putting to bed? William Stern has a couple books on sleeping, which are very sensitive to the needs of babies. If you do try something like the "Ferber" method, I would keep the intervals short and consistent to continually reassure your baby that you are there. Could you also try elevating the head of your baby's mattress to assist with the reflux? It will get better and probably before too long.

Have you tried wearing him in a Moby Wrap or some type of sling that keeps him upright and close to you? It may not be the ideal place for him to sleep because it's not really a break for you, but it might start relaxing him enough during the day that you can start putting him down for longer periods at night. That's probably what he's needing right now, to be close (since he's experiencing discomfort with the colic) and to hear your heartbeat. I loved the Moby Wrap. It is one long piece of comfy material that you wrap your baby up in on you and it keeps them snuggled and close. I'd wear my daughter in it for walks, errands and around the house and she would instantly fall asleep. It also has great back support.

That's brutal! You poor things. As a mom of a baby with reflux, I can relate to the needing to be upright part. Two things come to mind as possibilities to help: 1. An Amby Baby or Cocoon (made by Arm's Reach Cosleeper), and 2. Priobiotics. Google the Amby and you'll see that it gets good marks from the reflux crowd. I had it by my bed and when my son cried I could reach over and bounce him with one hand while I stayed laying down. The priobiotics you've probably heard about. They've been getting a lot of media attention as a good way to help colic. Good luck to you!

We tried letting my daughter cry it out at about 8 months. it worked for a month and then she was back to waking up every couple hrs during the night. Sometimes they just want the comfort of mommy and daddy.
2 things about crying themselves to sleep- 1st its harder on the parents than the children. 2nd if your son is under14 lbs he may not have enough reserves to last more than 3 hrs between feeding.
Try stretching your nighttime feedings out just by 15 min every time. It may be a habit for him already.

Hi Lynelle,
Our infant daughter had severe reflux. They called it silent reflux, b/c she didn't often seem to be bothered by it, except not wanting to eat. She was helped with meds,(prilosec). We also had her sleep on a fairly significant incline, with the aid of a sling. Have you tried this? There are also pediatric G.I. docs. We found her pediatrician just wasn't up on all the treatments. If you want more details let me know.

I feel your pain. My son is just about six months, also struggles with reflux, and goes through periods of time where he doesn't sleep much. In addition to reflux, he has some other tummy issues, which lead to excessive and painful gas. We have a papsan style swing and I have found the very helpful. The beauty of this swing is he remains semi-upright. So, when he falls asleep eating/right after eating, I don't have to hold him as long. He sometimes sleeps longer in the swing, I am guessing do to both the constant motion and not laying down completely, so those acids don't come back up. While it doesn't always work, it has been very helpful to me.

Hi,

Just a few suggestions: Try changing to a different formula and/or off of breast milk. A friend of mine had a baby girl with similar issues and as soon as she switched her to a soy (lactose free) formula it was 100% better. She swore that someone switched her baby in the middle of the night because the change was so dramatic. In her case, her baby was very lactose intolerant and changing to a soy formula was the trick.

In terms of the sleeping issue, often times my son would sleep in his infant car seat to be more upright. It seemed to make a big difference!

Good luck! I know how frustrating these issues can be with a new baby but hang in there. If there is one thing that I have realized as a mom, it is that everything is just a phase. In no time at all this will be a thing of the past.

J.
Mom to two a 4 and 1 year old sons.

Have you tried putting a little cereal in his bottle. That helped my lil one sleep better. I could only get her to sleep about 4-5 hours at a time using that method but it worked. She had GERD and the doc said that putting cereal in her bottle may help that as well. Make sure if you cut a bigger hole in his nipple because of the cereal that it isn't too big-if he gulps it down or drinks too much too fast it can make him spit up as well. Maybe he is missing you at bed time and he wakes up for "comfort" feeding more than actual hunger. I would try placing something in the crib that smells like you. I did that with my first born; I breast fed so she wanted the smell of my milk more than the actual feeding. I would sleep with one of her blankets for a few days and then put it in her crib and she would snuggle to it and wouldn't wake up. Some babies do need to "cry it out". I read in an article that when doing this you can place your child in the crib and let him cry for 5 minuetes, afterwards go in a reassure him that he is okay, pat his back, wrap him back up, but DO NOT pick him up. Then do it this time for 10 minutes-each time go up for 5 minutes. It normally takes 3-4 days for this process to work. Don't give up or give in or you will be like me- my 4 year old still wakes me up at night to do the littliest of things like wrap her toes up or find her baby doll. Hope this helped and good luck with getting him to sleep longer.

4 months is too young to "cry it out"; it is not recommeneded until they are at least 6 months. Try letting him sleep in a swing or car seat where he can be upright; that might help ease the discomfort. Neither of my sons needed much sleep either; my oldest slept in his swing for the first three months. It's exhausting at first but you'll get through it.

Lynelle,

I would try the Amby bed. My husband and I bought it for our son and he absolutely loves it! It helps with all sorts of issues (reflux, gas, colic, flat head, etc.). Plus, it helps babies feel safe and secure, you can gently rock them in it and when they wake up it will gently bounce them back to sleep. My son had the hardest time taking naps and now he sleeps 10 hours at night and takes three 1-2 hour naps a day! Just know it does take them a few days to get used to but once they are used to it, they love it! Here is the website... http://www.ambybaby.com/. Hope this helps! Also, it is really easy to pack up and take with you for napping elsewhere.

I have two boys, both very different.

My first I would let cry, sometimes an hour, before he would sleep. He is a very secure little guy at 2 years old. He still doesn't sleep much, maybe 12 hours total. It hasn't changed much from when he was little cause he refused to take two naps at an early age anyway.

My other son is 7 months old and really doesn't cry a whole lot. Sometimes, I just lay him in his crib even though he doesn't seem tired when he is. He'll play in there quietly until he eventually goes to sleep.

Four months old is a bit young yet. Be patient. He'll figure it out.

If you aren't happy, you have to do what will make you happy. Cause chances are if you aren't happy, neither is he. If he's happy, trust YOUR insticts. God gave them to YOU!!!

Lynelle,

With both my kids (4 1/2 and 13 mos) I've let them learn how to sooth themselves. I usually let them fuss/cry for about 5 minutes to see if then can calm themselves down. If they're still screaming then, or the cries are the "get me out of here, I'm scared" type of cry I go in and pick them up and comfort them. If it's still around nap time I will either sway with them in my arms right by their crib, or rock in their rocking chair to get them to go back to sleep.

It all comes down to knowing your child's different cries.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

So, after the upright period...have you tried putting him to sleep on his tummy. Babies sleep much better that way. There was another thread on tummy sleeping on here. Here is the link:

http://www.mamasource.com/request/2572084764295036929

I would suggest that you look in to finding a friend that might sit with him while you get a nap in the afternoon. Then is is possible to switch off in the evening with your hubby?
You could look into a postpartum doula. She is someone that comes into your home to help with baby, so you can get rest, and maybe some cooking, and light cleaning.
Depending on your area I could give you a few referrals for postpartum doulas.
Bev

I highly recommend swaddling for as long as you can. Our daughter's are pretty good sleepers and I think that swaddling combined with consistent routines for naps and bedtimes helped so much!
I hope you get some sleep soon!!!
Sweet dreams,
L.

Hi Lynelle,
My name is J.,I'm a mother of three my youngest has Autism and some pretty bad problems with his tummy.It sounds to me like your'e son might have a food intolerance.If you breast feed you might want to run an allergy pannel on him and then avoid the foods that are affecting him.If you are giving him formula the same would work with formula but instead of you avoiding the food you would need to change formula.
Hope you get some rest!
Jenn

Hi Lynelle,

As the mother of a son who had severe reflux I totally sympathize with what you're going through. My son did not sleep much at a time for the first 20 months or so. When I tried to let him cry himself to sleep he would reflux even more and then he would take even longer to sleep. Every sleep time was stressful and I had to take a lot of time from doing other things just to devote to getting him to sleep a little. NO Naps...waking every 2 hours all through the night...etc... The good part is that as he grew out of his reflux he began to do a lot better. Is he on an iron supplement by any chance? Could he be allergic to milk and soy? These are some things that may cause the reflux although some babies, such as my son, just seem to have it with no apparent reason for it. My best wishes to you and your family. I just want to let you know that it does get better.

Try a chiropractor. My son had reflux and colic, turns out it was from a mid-back misalignment. Both of my daughters had their first adjustment at 1 week and neither had sleep or digestive problems. The birth process is very hard on infants and misalignments are common. Traditional Osteopaths can also fix misalignments. Also, I see someone recommends the Amby hammock. All of my kids slept in one and all of them were and still are great sleepers.

I highly recommend letting your son "cry it out". With my 10 year old, I had him start putting himself to sleep around 5 months. It worked great. When I had my now 20 month old, my husband absolutely refused to let him cry. Consequently I was up every two hours until he was 11 months old. At that point I was absolutely exhausted to the point that I couldn't even focus long enough to have a conversation with anyone. I finally took control back and it took 3 nights of crying for half an hour to an hour before my now 20 month old would go to sleep easily. It is so worth it! For some reason once they can get to sleep to start with, they can usually get themselves back to sleep when they wake in the night. I really do think that it is harder on the parents than the child. My son went from waking every 2 hours to sleeping straight through the night within a week. My 3 month old daughter will start crying herself to sleep within the next 2 months, and then I can get back to sleeping. Just make sure to comfort - not pick up - your son every 5 to 10 minutes while he is crying. Good Luck, and it really is worth it in the long run.

My advice: Read the book "Babywise". Disregard all the weird advice, and zero in on the chapters in the book about teaching a baby to get on a sleep/eat/nap schedule. It saved my life as a mom, and allowed me to have four kids and stay sane. Good luck!

My son did this, it was because he was intolorant of whey, as soon as I quit eating it he started sleeping better and lasting longer between feedings (his tummy would hurt so he would think he was hungry) It took a while to unprogram the waking every few hours but wow what a difference! After he started eating food, there were some nights he would wake up and play in the middle of the night, come to find out his tummy was bothering him due to some food that slipped under the radar so we really cracked down on the dairy and its been wonderful.
The other thing I would look into trying is mangosteen juice. It works really well on acid reflux as my mom can attest to and its just juice and safe for babies! you can check out the info at ____@____.com
AND be sure and find some one, husband, friend, family, to come and sit with baby so you can catch up on your sleep!

coming from allergy-prone kids, i'd caution about the cereal in the bottle. it sounds like it's reflux-related anyway. have you tried switching formula? or if you're pumping, maybe he's allergic to something you are eating.

Hi,, My grandson did the same thing,, no sleeping at all,, ever since he was born,,so I went and bought music C-D's,, of rivers,, wind,, any thing soothing to the ears,, that would put you and I to sleep,, try that,,don't turn it off leave it on all night,, I play Niel Young,, George Harrison,,Eric Clapton,, any type of slow music works for us,, try it,down low,, and leave a night light on,, a dim one,, real dim,, with the music and all,, it should work,, ,and warm co coa in a bottle before he goes to bed,, and a hot bath too helps,, and soothing ,, try it,, see if it works,, email me,, ____@____.com, D. a Gramma,, who knows,, a little, :))

My sister-in-law had the same problem until they put her son on a perscription that helped with the reflux. Now he's doing a lot better.
As far as letting them cry to sleep on their own... here's my oppinion. My sister has 6 children, the oldest is now 19. She used the same routine with all of them and they are all healthy, happy, loving, smart, well-balanced children. When it was time for any one of them to sleep, she would swaddle the baby, give him or her a pacifier, lay the baby down in his or her bed, sing a lullaby and then leave the room singing. If the baby was still fussy after 15 minutes she'd return, give the baby a hug, tell the baby everything was okay and then she'd leave and let the baby cry. She'd repeat this process until the baby went to sleep. Having done the same technique myself now, I'll tell you it's hard for a couple of days, but then it gets easier and my son now has no problems going to sleep. (He's still a very happy baby!!) One thing that I noticed is that once I decided to let him cry for a while, he worked off the extra energy he had, and he was able to sleep much longer and deeper.
Good luck! Don't worry, I've heard advice about letting the baby cry it out, and other advice against it, but I've yet to hear how the child acts once he or she is older. Like I said before, all of my sister's children and great kids, so I know that her technique didn't hurt any of them at all.

My suggestion would be to start slow, by skipping every other feeding during the night and try to get him to take his last feeding at midnight, then the goal would be to get him to sleep throught the night. If he cries because he is wanting to eat, it will taper off. He will always come to you and trust you, you are his mommy! And you will still be feeding him, but on more of a schedule. I sort-of followed the "Babywise" philosophy with this, if you are interested. It is a great thing when you get more sleep!! Good luck!

What worked with both my boys was the 5 min. rule. I tried to keep them awake as bed time drew near, and then at the same time every night I put them to bed. If they cried I waited 5 min. (get a timer because you will always go in early if not)it is important to wait the full 5 each time, then go in, calm them,(with out taking them from the crib if possible), and then leave. If they begin to cry again, wait another 5 min and repeat until asleep. My boys never got past one 5 min time without falling asleep. Other kids may need more (especially if this ritual is starting a little late (ideal is by 3 months). If you stick with this, it works! People ask me all the time how I get my kids to go to bed so easily every night, and it all started with this! (they are now 2 and 4 and still go to bed every night at 8 with little to no fuss about it.

Hope this helps, I know how trying it is to have a new little one! And how getting no sleep can make it seem overwhelming! Best of luck.

For us, crying it out was just that - crying it out. We did kind of a hybrid of the checking in and abandonment method. We'd put her to bed, then check on her if she was still crying after ten minutes. A snuggle and some rocking, then back to bed. We probably started when she was 6 months old, but we could have started earlier. She still trusted us - at that age, although I felt horrible about it, I could do almost anything I needed/wanted to do to her, and she would still prefer me to anyone else! Don't worry about him not trusting you. :-) MUCH easier said than done, and I realize it TOTALLY depends on the child!

I have two beautiful childre 9 months and two who learned to cry to sleep. without that we would not get naps because feeding to sleep doesn't wokr for more than a few minutes of sleep and co-sleeping didn't work either. I just put them in their bed in their favorite sleep position and walk away. (of course after cudles kisses and maybe a book.) Don't pick them up til they are done cying and hopefully sleep. My baby had reflux as well. He had projectile vomit after feeding, between feeding and before, constintly. He cryed all night. WE had him sleepingin his car seat most of the time because of his trowing up, but he didn't throw up when asleep anyways. he ate on a 2 1-2 to 3 hr feeding plan but I was feeding for the recomended 15 to 30 minutes on the first side and then the second. He was gaining a pound a week and we were at the doctor all the time. One of the Drs. finally said the first time he lets go of the breast move him to the other side the next time he's done. He has been a 10 to max 20 minute eater since and though he does have reflux he sleeps all night now and was going four to five almost right away and not crying all night. He's growing perfectly and now only eats every 3--4 hrs. he started sleeping when we put him flat on his belly and then he was being cuddled or fed to sleep to keep the trow up to a away...as miuch as possible.

Even at this tender age he will recognize a routine. I would suggest a sleeptime routine. Keep it simple but more than one step at this point. Maybe if it's naptime give him a bottle, burp, sing a song (should be the same one every time) and then lay him down wherever he sleeps (I suggest snuggly tucked into his swing). Try running a fan near him while trying to get him to sleep (or some kind of white noise). Maybe keep him awake for longer than he wants and only put him down at a specific time for sleeping (he should be taking about 3 naps of at least an hour during the day then sleeping 4-6 hrs at a time at night). He may be a bear for a while until the appointed nap time but being extra tired may make him sleep longer.
I did the cry-it-out method with my daughter. It's hard but it's so worth it. I can still even now at almost 2 just put her down after the sleep routine and she goes down without a fuss. We set a time limit for her to cry. If she was still going strong after 25 min. we would go in and check on her to make sure that she didn't need a diaper or wasn't hurting or something like that. Then we would calm her down and start over. It will take a couple weeks for the crying spurts to shorten. don't loose heart.
And my last bit of advice...get someone you trust to watch him for at least 4 hours and TAKE A NAP! before you loose it. Sleep deprivation is like drinking, it inhibits our judgement (not a good thing when dealing with a cranky infant!)

Hello,
I am a mother of 7 children. I have 3 biological older children (22, 20 and 171/2) and 4 adopted children. I was fortunate that my biological children were very good babies. The newest addition is twin baby girls and they are a handful. They were very cranky babies when I first got them at the age of 4 months. They are almost 7 months (April 25th) and it is a night and day difference. I use the techniques from the Happiest Baby on the Block book and video. This includes the 5 S' (swaddling, sshing, side, shaking and sucking). It really works well for fussy babies. the thoery is that the first 3 months of life resembles more like the 4 th trimester so re-creatign that enviroment causes the self soothing reflex to kick in, something that they do not do automatically. After my girls are calmed down I also say softly, you are okay and your are safe. Now there are times when they start to get fussy and I will say those words and they get that calm look.

I have read the book, which has other very useful information in it besides the 5 S's. I have also watched the video. It is very helpful to see the doctor employ the strategies with crying babies.

This is so good, that a nearby hospital shows the video to all new parents before they leave the hospital with their newborn and I give it as baby shower gifts.
http://www.thehappiestbaby.com/excerpts_book.html
That is the link.

One other piece of advice, with the reflux. I use a Boppy pillow to elevate they babies up. They are swaddled and the boppy helps keep their blankets tight.

Good luck and know that our babies are babies for such a short time, so this too shall pass :)

Debbie

My first baby only slept about 10 hours too. At about 18 months it extended to about 10-12 but that was short lasting. Now she's eight and she still needs less than average, about 8 or 9. HOwever, the not "in a row" part is the biggest problem. It seems that he is in a bad pattern.

I went to see Dr. Ferber speak when my babies were little and even though he's the one who popularized "crying it out", he said he would never do it to a baby less than 10-12 months old. So, I don't think that's an option for you right now.

But you might get some help with "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"...it's a great book with lots of helpful suggestions.

Best,
C.

Lynelle, Our son did the SAME thing. It was a nightmare. I need at least 8 hrs of sleep a night and can't function. A good friend gave me the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and it has saved our lives!!! I love it and the author is so straight forward and walks you thru what to do. You WILL have to let your baby cry...if you want to. Some nights he would cry for up to 3 hrs. on/off but it gets better and better. Our doc said that it won't hurt him. Your child needs to sleep and learn how to sleep. The book says how we have to teach our children to sleep. I could go on and on...get the book. He also offers ways to do it without the letting them cry but that's the fastest route to sleep for you. Our little boy is 10.5 months and sleeps 10-11 hrs. a night and is an ok napper. He does two naps for around 1:20 or a bit more everyday. Hope this helps.

We had (still battling a little) the same issue w/ our youngest daughter (4 mos). We are pretty sure she was slightly colic but then also was having issues w/ reflux. Right before our two month appointment we took her in, totally frustrated with the lack of sleep & she just wasn't a happy baby (completely different from our 1st). Cried most of the day, didn't take the bottle well, would only sleep for short periods of time & always was unsettled even when we were holding her.
Our Pedi put her on Ranitidine & it has made the world of difference! We saw results within a week. Our pedi said she could have to take the medicine for the first year but typically they out grow it between 12 - 18 mos. Also that sometimes when they start solid foods that will help the reflux too.
Our daughter is now sleeping for 5-6 hours (most nights) at night in one stretch & is sleeping most naps for at least one hour at a time. I'm starting to feel like a normal person again. Plus both my husband & I both feel like once we got the reflux issues under control we bonded with the baby so much better. We were so sleep deprived & frustrated with the situation that we both had a hard time really at first.
Good luck! I hope that helps! :0)

Well I can definitly understand what you are going through! I have two boys and they were born 13 months apart. My first on was like yours and didn't sleep for more than an hour or two at a time and my second one was even worse, he would only sleep in 45 min increments. I had them on the similac formula for colic, gas drops, and our pediatrician also perscribed them tummy relaxers. What worked best for us ( and we still werent getting much sleep) was we would put them in one of those vibrating bouncy chairs, so they would be sleeping in a sitting up reclined position, and we have a bathroom in our bedroom so we would put a nightlight in there so it wasn't pitch dark, turn on the bathroom fan so they couldn't hear us (ambient noise) and let them sleep in there with the door cracked. We found that when they slept in the same room as us we were just waking eachother up all night between rolling over in bed, a slight cough, a squeak of the bed or an occasional snore. But when we combined everything that I just talked about they did better. I would just say try it and see if it helps you at all and just remember that it wont last much longer. Mine were over it at about 4 months and then they were down to waking up just 1-2 times a night. So hang in there....this to shall pass.

Try swaddling. My child refused to go to sleep and we found that we had to swaddle her good and tight so she would relax and stay asleep, otherwise she would wake herself up with her hands. Within 2 weeks of swaddling, she started to sleep for 6-7 hour stretches at night. I got this from the book Happiest Baby on the Block. It is wonderful!

My little one had reflux and was a preemie and I went through the same thing as you. She would take an hour to eat because she didn't know how to suckle very well and then I would have to have her sit up afterwards or it would all come up (everywhere) She would sleep between 30 minutes to an hour and I would spend more time up with her than her asleep. I felt like I was going to lose it, I cried all the time and everyone thought I had postpartum depression (but it was mostly just sleep deprivation.) I even was guilty of giving my daughter formula to see if it held her longer. All I can say is she grew out of it. I never did let her cry too long because I discovered that I just got more sleep if I met her needs. The nights I did let her cry, she just cried forever and I ended up getting less sleep. It all worked itself out in the end and by 6 months she was sleeping 6 hours or more at a stretch. Something else that helped was the doctor started her on a form on Zantac (my daughter also had obstructive sleep apnea because of the reflux.) The medicine at least let her lay down shortly after feeding. I started to put her in bed when she was hungry, put her on the breast and I would fall asleep while she ate. This helped the sleep deprivation. Funny, you almost forget how tough it was in the beginning and now my daughter is 12 months, I have the urge to have another baby (but I'm going to hold off for another year at least.)

Hello,
I wish I had suggestions for your son. I got great support from calling the nurse to talk about "nursing" and from friends. I have twin boys, almost 5 and many people gave me important tips, on my getting sleep. I'd like to share those with you. A couple of good books were, The Baby Whisperer, Dr. Karpp's book, Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby by Dr. M. Weisbleuth....
When I start to get sleep deprived I find I'm so easy to snap. And I did that with my infants :(. So I nursed and bottle fed, so that my husband and I could, at times, do shifts, so we could get some solid sleep. Another friend with twins did this with her husband for the same reasons. Each half of the couple was guaranteed 5 hours solid, while the other half did the nursing. The sleeping person wore earplugs and when it was time the person who's shift it was would, lovingly take out the partners earplugs.
A friend of mine who was big into sleep training, which we did too and I'm so glad for it, stressed that by 4+ months to lessen their dependency to have you put them to sleep. I have really come to respect that we each have to find our way. I had worked with children prior to becoming a mom, for 20+ years and believed that crying was ok. It's turned out great for us. But, it's anxiety producing. We did a combination of ferber and ...I'm not sure what else. I think you are approaching a time where you can start to try and regulate your child's sleep cycle and all the people I referred to, their books, talk about parents role in "teaching". I hope this is helpful. Nights can seem so long, as can the days in this formative time. It reallllllly does get better and easier, so hang in there, continue to seek out support and help, it is what really made it easier for us.
Much Love,
Mary
Mother of soon-to-be 5 year old fraternal twins. Lover of exercise an outdoors etc...

LOTS of good advice so far. My two cents' worth....

1. Confirm the reflux with testing at Childrens.
2. Use medication if it is
3. Get a wedge made (Children's will do it)
4. Try the carseat in the mean time to keep him upright and secure.
5. Try gas drops...there are cheap $3 generics behind the pharmacy counter (genasyme) as well as Culturelle probiotics.

When you are going throug it, it sucks and you are so tired you don't care if others are going through it too. BUT you have my thoughts and sympathy. My daugher was hospitalized with it (2 weeks with tests and trials to help....).

Hopefully there will be some reief with all the great ideas you have gotten!

Lynelle,
Is it confirmed reflux? If you think it is, can you give him medicine for it to see if it really if reflux? We went through this with our second son, who was really fussy after eating at 6-7 months and thought it was reflux, so we tried ranitide (generic reflux med) and it turned out it wasn't. But if it is, it is so painful for them. If your peditrician will let you try it out for a month, then you will know within a couple days if it is, and then you could start sleep training him to go for more than 1-2 hours, whether he has it or not, as he should be sleeping a lot more than that at 4 months, at least a 5 hour stretch in the night, maybe 7! Many of my friends kids had reflux and things went so much better right after they got on the meds. Let me know if this helps and if yo have other questions about babies and reflux. I have heard a lot about this. Hope this helps. And good luckm not sleeping is SO TOUGH.
T.

Two of my girls did this. I was so tired (mostly from constant feeding) That I would set a time of three hours before I would allow myself to feed them again. It interrupted the cycle they were on. During this time I would play with them or just talk to them. Sometimes they would even fall asleep and stay down for a good three or four hours. Which gave me a good nap.

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Enough said. That book is AMAZING!!!!!! My son (8 months old) doesn't quite sleep completely through the night, but I get a good solid chunk of sleep and that has helped WONDERS. His napping has gotten WAY better because of this book. He used to take 30-45 minute naps, but now he takes 2+ hour naps. It's wonderful!!!!!

Good luck!

I would check on the suggestion about feeding cereal, I heard that newer studies show that it might be a contributor to SIDS. Something about the waking up is a sort of defense mechanism for the baby, if they didn't wake, it could be bad. When they are older and out of the danger zone time period, making sure they don't have an empty tummy is okay.

also, try looking up this book, I absolutely love these Doctors/authors, they use common sense and perspective. (i.e. at a certain age they don't understand you are coming back, they only understand you are gone)

check out the customer reviews too.

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Sleep-Book-Complete-Parenting/...

Have you tried a swing? My son loved it for 2 months. -Washington