Sleep Deprived Mom in Need of Help

My twin boys have always/do always poop first thing in the morning and they've never had a problem sleeping through the night since they were six months old. One was always a good sleeper and I used the cry-it-out method on the other one.

L.,

I doubt it is her tummy - my 2 girls have always pooped first thing in the morning all along.

I just sleep trained my 6 month old. She would not sleep for more than 20 mins by herself less than a week ago and now she is sleeping through the night - 9:00 p.m to 6:30 a.m.!
Just an FYI - I did not use the Cry it out or Ferber method - I used a more gentle method - let her cry a little, picked her up if her cry concerned me and even gave her a drink of water for a couple of nights. Even today I stay with her in her room as she falls asleep - sometimes place a light hand on her thigh while she drifts off.

The method is not important, CONSISTENCY is. Watch these videos (that is what i did) http://www.videojug.com/tag/andrea-grace , select a method, follow a consistent bedtime routine and start to train her. You get even less sleep while training so I hope you have someone who can help a bit.

All the best!

Some children are just light sleepers. My son woke up at night to nurse until he was almost 3. Even after he was weened he still wakes up at night several times. I've often caught him awake sitting up in bed in the middle of the night. You will need to slowly teach your daughter to put herself back to sleep. She's still so young though that it will probably take some time.

The information you give is sketchy – does your daughter wake up screaming and distressed, or just fussing/crying to get closer to mommy? I co-slept with my daughter (a frequent-waker), and we both slept better.

Pooping first thing is normal and probably healthy, unless she shows other signs of gastric distress. But some babies sleep very little or very lightly, and as much as parents wish otherwise, this is probably normal, too.

Babies are all different. Some never really sleep "well" by parental standards. If you are desperate for sleep, can you alternate "duty" nights with your husband? Or get a mom or MIL to take over occasionally at night? I did this a few times for my grandboy, and loved it.

We had problems with our first child trying to get her to sleep through the night. My sister suggested when I get up at night giving her a bottle of luke warm water and that was all she was getting; no picking her up, no milk, nothing. It worked after just a few tries.

This is hard -- been there with my boys.
Question: Has your child been checked for asthma and/or sleep apnea? These plus allergies are some of the most common causes of restlessness.

Does your daughter take a nap during the day? Again, wierd but true -- kids who nap, while they go to bed a bit later, often sleep better.

In reference to pooping -- nope, that is fairly normal though you might think about changing her before bed feeding routine. No water or liquid after seven -- that helps prevent urine induced nightmares and choose foods high in tryptophene for a light snack before bed (6 pm) -- things like bananas are good.

Other than that, make sure that she gets lots of sun and exercise. Both of those are sleep inducing.

Sounds like you have your hands full. I wish you all the best. Hope some of this helps!

Jenny D.

Hi L.. I only have one child, a son who turned 3 last March. He still doesn't sleep through the night and until he was about 18 months old, he was up four, five and sometimes six times a night. My husband and I are big supporters of attachment parenting and not any of the cry-it-out methods. The sleep deprivation wrecked havoc on me until my naturoapthic physician suggested taking supplemental B vitamins. I don't get my B vitamin anywhere, I buy it from him. I tried saving money by buying a B vitamin from Trader Joe's or Costco, but they didn't work nearly as well. I went back to buying from my naturopathic dr. I don't know if a good, high-quality B vitamin would work for you, but it would be worth looking into. I would discuss this option with your doctor, whether it be an M.D. or naturopathic. Good luck and remember, it will get better!!

My son, also 11 months, has a similar sleep pattern. He does not seem grumpy or uncomfortable, just like a restless sleeper. I would say his restlessness peaked about 8 weeks ago. He was waking 3-4 times a night. We had been trying some sleep training but it only seemed to make it worse because he didn't respond and I was getting even less sleep. (We have been co-sleeping all along). Now he's waking about 2 times a night and starting to put himself back to sleep a little better. I am hoping he is gradually working his way toward a full night of sleep. So, no advice, just a little commiseration. Hang in there!

My son had trouble with just about every baby formula and my daughter had issues with the foods that I ate while breast feeding. While we figured that out, they both had trouble sleeping. Does your baby bring her legs up tight to her body while she cries? Or does she try to crawl up your shoulder into a ball? Those can be signs of gastric trouble. I have also heard that babies can suffer from heartburn. Perhaps switching formula or laying her on her left side would help?

I'm a frist time mom so it sounds like you have more experience than me but these suggestions (from books and websites) helped us. My son was 12 months old and still not sleeping through the night, in fact he was getting up more then ever (about every 2-3 hours). Here are the things we tried. Try putting her to bed a little earlier. I've read that kids this age should go to bed between 7:30 and 8:30pm. Also, make sure she eats several hours before bedtime since she won't sleep very well if she's overlly full. Last suggestion, if you are still breastfeeding, or bottle feeding at night, try to break that habit now. The first two suggestions helped a little for us but after just two nights of not breastfeeding in the middle of the night, our son slept through the night from about 8pm to 8am.
Good luck.

Hi L.,

Six children! Wow, I can understand your need for rest! And, of course, if your others were children who slept long and deeply, especially if "his" baby girl does, you might feel there is "something wrong" with a baby that sleeps lightly or wakes often in the night. Unfortunately, as you probably well know, every human being is a different person, and having a light sleeper is probably not a problem for the baby--just you! But it's completely within normal range to have an 11 month old that wakes frequently.

I am a strong advocate for the family bed/co-sleeping with little ones, and perhaps this would help you and your baby girl sleep better. Some are just more sensitive personalities and need the extra snuggling.

Unless her poop is very hard in the morning, chances are it is just behavioral and she feels just fine. She is still very tired when she wakes, so she is very grumpy, but probably not in any pain. This sounds like it is a learned behavior that you need to work to change. She is waking because she likes to be with you. Stop feeding her at night, stop holding her at night, and read up on sleep training techniques to find one that feels right for your family.

I totally know where you are at. I have a three and one year old and neither of the sleep through the night. I think it has been three years since I have had 8 hours of sleep. hehehe. well my friend sent me some awsome stuff and it is call bazi i loved it so much i became a distributor for them. I would get to the middle of the day and want to crash i got nothing done around the house I was suffering my husband was suffering from having a cranky wife and my kids were suffering because I couldnt play with them. I started to take provigil for my energy and it did not do anything I was tired still and an insominac at night. I started to take bazi and my life has totally changed I have energy and stamina and I just love life more. if you would like to check out the website that would be great and I have alot of info on it that I could email to you so you could research it out more. I promise it is not a scam it is awsome. I thought it was to good to be true but it is even good for kids I give it to my 3 year old just a little bit and she loves it. I hope to hear from you soon. please email with any questions or concerns. hope to hear from you soon.

C. shore
lebanon oregon

I'm surprised no one has posted a couple of good books about ways of sleep training. One is The Baby Whisperer and one is by Dr. Sears. I've not used either one.

I did sleep at my daughter for a month or so, after she went back to work so that I could take care of the baby during the night. We did often co-sleep. She did sleep longer hours when we did.

We still co-sleep when she stays over night at my house. My daughter has been a single mother and has let the children get in her king sized bed with her. At first they would call for her. Of course babies can't just move to your bed.

If you want her to sleep in her crib try one of the recommended methods. Other mothers have received messages commentin on their use. I don't recommend the letting her cry it out for longer than ten minutes or so. A baby is helpless and I think becomes frightened when no one responds to their cries. That is why the crying escalates to an angry loud wail. I also think that if a baby is left to cry it out until they go to sleep they become less trusting about their parents meeting their needs.

There are ways to co-sleep so that she's not actually in her bed. I remember someone bringing the crib in next to the bed so that they could reach out and touch the baby. Once the baby feels secure they are more likely to sleep thru the night.

I think not responding to small noises and whimpering is not using the let them cry it out method. They are learning how to put themselves back to sleep.

When I was a child my baby brother shared my room. Perhaps having the baby sleep in a room with a sibling might help. You will need the co-operation of the sibling. What I remember doing is responding to his cries by changing his diaper if needed (the diapers were cloth, other wise being in the same diaper is OK unless they have sensitive skin.) Then, at my mother's request I would pat him while he was still in the crib. If he was just snuffling and fussing I didn't respond. I don't remember my brother's age or how long it took for him to sleep thru the night. I do remember being short on sleep but I loved the responsibility. And I still did well in school. I was probably 9 or 10. It's summer. Perhaps this is a good time to move the baby and see if that helps.

When I worked graveyard I sometimes quickly ate my sack lunch and took a short nap during my lunch hour. I think it's called power napping and it's supposed to be more beneficial than a longer nap. It worked for me and a friend.

I have not experienced much, that I remember, about losing sleep because of a baby. Other mother's posts on the same subject asked by other mother's would be more helpful.

I admire your ability to care for 6 children. You certainly do need your sleep.

Hello L.,

I have a son that would not sleep at night either. I tried everything. I met a representative at a charity event I was volunteering and she works for Nikken. This company sells magnetic technology. I was desperate to try anything to get my son to sleep. She lent me a mattress pad for his bed and within two nights, I noticed my son started sleeping more soundly.

After having the mattress for two weeks, I decided to purchase it and am happy to announce that my son is doing well and sleeps through the night.

If you are interested in learning more about the technology, please reply to my email.

Regards,

V.

I had a similar experience. My daughter was 1 year and 2 weeks old before she slept through the night. Ever since then we haven't had any problems, but she is a really restless sleeper. Probably will be like that forever.

I tried 3 or 4 different sleep training techniques. They just ticked her off and made her more upset. Cried for HOURS at a time if I didn't pick her up. Believe me, we tried. Tried co-sleeping, but she's such a restless sleeper that I was up all night and got pushed out of my own bed. So yes, try the training techniques, but be aware that they may not work. Because of our experience I'm actually anti any "sleep training" and am an advocate of "whatever feels right to you is right for your family."

I hate to tell you this in your sleep deprived state, but I think it's just normal for some children. Just keep in mind that it doesn't necessarily mean that there is anything wrong with her and it especially doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with whatever you're doing. Hang in there, it will happen!

Well let me start by saying it is REALLY hard to do what the books say but it WORKS!

I used "Babywise" with both boys and it worked when they were little so that may be just what you need.

Recently with my daughter I have used the book- Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Mark Weissbluth

Both are basically going to tell you to let her cry it out until she's asleep....it's really hard to do but the only way I got myself to do it was to realize that I was actually helping them. They need to Learn to sleep through the night for their own sakes, not just ours.

When they don't sleep through the night they are more grouchy and cannot learn or absorb information like they need to.

This book says that you have to plan to not get any sleep that night and just be prepared to listen to them cry. It helped me a lot to go into it prepared to be up all night. I was ready to watch a movie exercise-- just do something with the tension. Within three days my entire family was sleeping through the night. Crazy.

I will pray for you that you get some feeling that you're headed in the right direction with all of this. I totally understand and I'm so sorry.