Sleep Issues After Taking Away Paci

Updated on June 03, 2014
J.B. asks from Lexington, KY
16 answers

We decided to switch our 2 1/2 girl to big girl bed (convert her crib to toddler bed) and take the paci, which was spectacular the first week. She would fall asleep after a little rocking and not wake til morning, but now a couple weeks later, every time we put her to bed, and after rocking a little, we put her down in the bed, and she immediately wakes and screams and leaps from the bed and runs out the door after me. I tried laying in the floor beside her til she falls asleep and then leaving the room, but that only made it worse because she would wake up an hour later and leap from the bed screaming for me. I think I have figured out the problem- she had replaced the comfort of the paci with having me as a comfort, and I think there are only 2 options at this point (because me sleeping beside her every night is not an option) 1. give paci back and wait til age 3 to take it and do binky fairy or something when she can better understand, or 2. let her cry it out (in which case she probably will end up on the floor). Suggestions?

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So What Happened?

So, I ended up not giving paci back and just tucking her in and letting her sleep with a few of her favorite stuffed animals and explained that she was a big girl now and needs to stay in bed with elmo and her dolls. After I left the room, she did get up and tried to follow me, but couldn't get out because we have the childproof knob on the inside. She cried for only a few minutes and suprisingly climbed back into bed and covered herself up and went to sleep. Guess I didn't give her enough credit... lol. Hopefully this continues and even gets better.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I agree to give her back the paci. My oldest loved hers. My youngest never did. They both have over bites just like mom and dad. I think it's hereditary vs pacifiers.

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S.H.

answers from Des Moines on

there is a third option, give back the binky and let her have it until she self weans. If she is only using at night time, let her have it. I think you made too many big changes at once. I would give it back to her and not worry at all. She will give it up when she is ready.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

I really would consider letting her have the pacifier back. She might be ready to give it up sooner than you think, but usually one transition at a time is a lot for little ones to handle.

If she still has trouble and is waking up after an hour or so, I would look closely at her sleep schedule. I'm just wondering if she's a bit overtired and needs to go to bed sooner. All kids are different, but for my boys, once they're out, they are out for a few ours - I mean out, in a deep sleep. The only time they would wake sooner is if they were still in the process of falling asleep. So if she's waking after just an hour, I'm wondering if she's overtired.

I did sit with my boys as they fell asleep. (I just read my book on my Nook.) It helped them to feel safe while they were falling asleep. It doesn't last forever, so if this is something that she needs, don't feel like you're setting a habit you can't break. If you need to do that, you will be able to transition her. But if that's what she needs for a bit, it really is ok.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Two bigs changes at the same time never work. Me, I would give her back her paci. You have to chose your battles.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Too much, too soon. You should have chosen one (new bed, or no paci) rather than both. My suggestion would have been going with the new bed and leaving the paci. My oldest used one for sleeping until she was over 3yo, and it eventually went away peacefully. (I snipped the end, so it didn't really work at the end.)

Give her back the paci, snip the end at 3yo, and let her keep it until she doesn't need it anymore. Make sure you only have the one paci in the house at that point.

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

I'm with the other posters. Too much change all at once. Either put her back in the crib where she can't run after you (and wean her of the paci) or give the paci back. Lots of kids wean themselves of them, they wake up and are just done one day.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I'd say give her the paci back.
My DD kept hers until she was about 3.5, for sleeping. We confirmed with the dentist that it really wasn't hurting her teeth, which is the popular argument for taking it away.

If it will give all of you some peace at night, let her have it.
There's no harm in her keeping it for comfort.

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K.H.

answers from Odessa on

That's tough, I'm sorry she's having a hard time. If you think the paci would comfort her enough to get a full night of sleep, my gut reaction would be to let her have it. Does she only use it in bed? If so, I don't think it's that big of a deal to let her keep it for a few more months. I'm not a dental professional, but I've known lots of kids who used them until age 3. I hope it gets better soon!!!

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F.B.

answers from New York on

Our kid never took to the paci, so that wasn't a problem. He was about 2.5 and we heard a thud from his room, he fel while trying to climb back into his crib. The next day we took the side off (it converted to a toddler bed) and explained that now he wouldn't be at risk of falling.

He slept well and without incident for about 3 weeks. He then took to getting up and needing to be tucked in 3+ times a night. We spoke with him about it, and explained that he needed to sleep and he needed to stay in bed so that he would have energy to run and jump and play the next day. Somehow it resonated with him. This was further reinforced when our goddaughter's mother cancelled an outing to the park because goddaughter hadn't slept well. He took the importance of sleep very seriously and self regulated.

Try it, you might find yourself similarly lucky.

Best,
F. B.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Well, if she really needs her pacifier it's very likely she'll eventually find her thumb or finger. So I think she needs the pacifier. I do know that it's often hard to see an older kid using them but it's a better choice than her sucking her fingers or thumb or blanket edge.

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M.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think it was too much to switch beds and take away the pacifier in the same week. I'm no sleep expert, but it would be my gut reaction to give the pacifier back and do the "binky fairy" or something at another time. The "bottle fairy" worked with our son many years ago. When my kids were little and had sleep issues my go-to book was Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's "Sleepless in America." She used to have a website too. I'm not a fan of "cry it out" personally and my kids did not have the appropriate temperament for it. My youngest actually would cry until he threw up if left to cry it out. I have teenagers now and they sleep very normally and typically for teenagers. Their childhood sleep issues and my reluctance to use "cry it out" did not adversely affect their sleep habits as they got older (as I feared and was sometimes told by others). I was very protective of their sleep and relied heavily on Kurcinka's recommendations. Good luck! These transitions can be hard. (We did lay down with them until they fell asleep, contrary to some expert advice, but we didn't have the problem you have with waking up later.)

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G.T.

answers from Rochester on

Personally....I would not give her back the paci. She's 2 1/2, she shouldn't have had it that long. This is my opinion and I know a lot of mothers don't agree with me but I found it much easier to take the paci away from a 1 year old then it would be from a 2 1/2 year old.

Put her in her bed, hug an kiss her good night, read her a story...whatever is your bedtime routine. Then leave the room. If she gets out of bed and comes out of her room, put her back in without saying a word and leave again. If she wants to sleep on the floor, let her. As long as she stays in her room.

She is testing you....don't fail the test! LOL

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

Sleep on the floor until she's asleep

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Give back the paci. You made 2 major steps at the same time.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I would just keep putting her back to bed and leaving over and over until she gets it. Maybe get her a stuffed toy she can cuddle with or a special blankie if you think that might help her settle. In the future I would not make two big changes at the same time. My son started in his toddler bed at 15 months, then we waited about 3-4 months before removing his paci.

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D..

answers from Miami on

If you cave now, she'll just do the same thing later. Why go through this over and over? Besides, she might end up demanding both you AND the paci right now. She's had a taste of both and she does not care if you don't like it.

It's okay for her to end up on the floor as long as she stays in her own room. Children will end up sleeping wherever is most comfortable. Once you stop acting like you care if she's in the floor or if she's crying about bedtime, she'll straighten up and sleep in her bed.

You do NOT need to be her new paci. Don't let her be.

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