Sleep Issues with Our 2Yo

Hi D., as a mother of a former 2 year old (mine is now 3 and change) i can completely commiserate. My willful independent son offered me the same challenge (and every so often still tests me). Here's what I can say worked well for me;

The essence is-- stick to a routine every day without deviation:

1)let her know an hour in advance that it's soon time to go to bed-- essentially it is WIND DOWN TIME. no stimulating activity from hereon forward. I would first draw her a bath, let her play in it for a little while. Then tell her you are going to read her some books before she goes to bed, and that after you are going to sing her a song or two.

2) in the beginning you can say you are going to stay with her for a few minutes. then tell her you will be right back (go out of the room for a minute)... keep doing this-reassuring her you are not far away... eventually you can leave for longer periods of time.. and then completely separate after you sing her the goodnight song.

2)as far as staying in her bed overnight- i would also suggest a reward if she sleeps all by her big girl self in her bed.. maybe a sticker on a chart and when she completes the chart she gets a surprise toy... keep reminding her of the 'sticker' toy

3)if she awakens in the middle of the night- walk her back to her bed. I know its tempting to allow her to sleep with you (so you get more shuteye)- but soon it will pay off when she gets used to staying in her bed.

4)stick to this every night for atleast a week-- you will see a difference...

Children get used to consistency. As long as you are consistent, and persistent, you will succeed!!

My suggestion is that when your daughter wakes up, as hard as this may be, put her back into her own bed. She will probably cry and fuss, but if you keep on doing this, she will eventually give in and get used to it. I've seen this dozens of times being done by "The Nanny" and it works. It is hard at first, but after a few times it will work. I hope this will help. Good luck.

I. K (Mother of 2 Boys)

Hello D., I don't have a two year old but I do have a 7month old baby. I'm thinking maybe you can try lying down with her until she falls asleep. Or even reading stories until she falls asleep. When she comes to your bed you should just take her back to hers or else she will never learn to sleep in her own bed.

Hi,
Has she been sleeping in your bed before now? If you're ok with it, I would just keep her there until she really understands.

Best,
S.

Is your 2 yo still in a crib? Maybe she is ready for a bed. Sometimes they cry like that because they're ready for a change.

Hi D....

I won't offer advice, I'll just let you know how we handled the situation you were in.

Our daughter, Lindsay (now 5) was just like yours...I didn't like the idea of her being in our bed, and to make a LOOONG story short, we allowed her to sleep in her special pink sleeping bag on our bedroom floor.

For us, after months of fighting, yelling, crying and the like, this worked.

When our son was 2 1/2, he went into a big boy bed (I became pregnant again)...now he and Lindsay share a room. For her, it seems it was the issue of being alone...she hates it.
She hated it then, and she hates it now. That's just her...I think once you stop fighting these things, they tend to resolve peacefully.

Best of luck.
J.

Mostly I can only sympathize. However, do you have set bedtime routine? Do you basically do all the same things every night? That might help, so it prepares her for knowing how long she has before it's lights out. I still have to sit in my 22mo olds room until he's asleep. Then he typically wakes anywhere from 1-3 am and ends up in bed with me (I use the guest room so I don't wake my husband). I'm usually up around 6 and if it's a good morning I'll get a cup of coffee in before he wakes up! Otherwise he's up with the rest of the family.

You might want to check out the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers" There are some good ideas in there for routines and night waking.

All I can say is they all go through stages and will continue to do so for a long time. My son just started to go through a stage where we have to leave the light on a bit b/c the shadow bothers him. I'm sure it will end. There's always something new. But try not to have her sleep in your bed. Maybe try and say you will sit outside her room until she falls asleep. And then gradually you won't have to do that anymore.

The only comment I would add is that you want to keep the "situation" as low key, wordless and emotionless as possible. Often this is attention seeking behavior; what we did was get out of bed, take our daughter by the hand, all we said was "let's go back to bed", walked her back to her room, I'd say, "it's late and we all need to sleep", kiss her goodnight and leave the room. This approach makes it a non-event - no attention, no focus on her, and no reward for the behavior. It'll be tough to break the in your bed thing, but the ladies below offered some great ideas! Good luck!

If the waking up a lot just started check her mouth for the 2yr molars and if that's the case give her something for the pain...on the other hand I would decide if you want to co-sleep, it sounds like you don't and I would be very firm about it...the first few nights will be rough because she is used to comming to bed with you so I wouldn't try to break the routine until a friday night(or whatever days before you and your husband can take sleep shifts the next day)...then I would put her to bed, when she wakes up comfort her(I love you but it's time to sleep, goodnight see you in the morning) and leave the room and the crying will begin...I always go in the first time my kids cry to make sure they are okay but after that they need to go back to sleep on their own....it's okay if they sleep on the floor if that's where they landed after a fit(if she's not in a crib)it'll only last for about 3 nights(a very long 3 nights) but a couple of nights into it she'll get it and the issues will stop...If you can get her something for her room to make her want to stay in there go for it(new bedding,nightlight,whatever)...goodluck, it will take a few days but if you don't give in and let her in your bed it will go quicker! Goodluck and sweet dreams!

Do you let her in your bed to sleep the remaining of the night? If you do not want that than you need to put her back in her bed every time she comes to you. You can't give in. Use a gate or a door knob cover to keep her in her well baby-proofed room. After she learns to stay in bed you can remove gate or knob cover.

Of course she is going to protest and cry. She's 2 and that is what 2 year olds do. This won't be the last time either.

If you want her in your bed than continue doing what you are doing.

A.