Sleep Problems with 12 Month Old

K. - i was searching the net and came upon your question. I am in exactly the same state as you were 3 years ago. Can you please tell me what worked for you ? Did you wean the baby ?
Another sleep deprived mom!

K.,

Wow, what a thing to say. Do you really feel that you have messed up, or are you just saying that because you feel other mothers who didn't co-sleep might judge you for that decision? Even mothers who don't co-sleep experience challenges when it comes to weaning, sleep issues, etc... So, if I were you, I wouldn't waste any energy worrying about how you did things the wrong way. You didn't. Do the challenges you face now negate the beauty of having that closeness to your child? Hasn't it been nice to wake up next to him and see his beautiful face every morning, or roll over to nurse him to sleep, or hold him through the night and smell his sweet baby breath? I also want to assure you that you did do the best thing for your child. If you do some research (and I'm sure you did,as you decided to co-sleep in the first place), you'll find plenty of evidence to support this fact. So, you're ready to make some changes, and you're looking for a magic bullet. There isn't one. It will take time for you to make changes to your routine, and you CAN do it gently if you can be patient. To employ harsher methods at this point to force your son into submission would be unkind. What is it that you are really trying to accomplish here? Weaning him will help with the nigtwakings-I know this from experience. But weaning done right is a gradual thing. There may be tears, but it doesn't have to be excruciating for the both of you. I'd shoot for getting rid of one feeding at a time over the course of WEEKS. Not days, weeks. If you think your son is not one of those kids who cottons to gentle methods, I would ask you to seriously reconsider that statement. All babies respond to gentle methods, it's the parent who gets tired of the gentle method when they don't get the results they want in the time frame they feel they should. You have been responding to your child's needs for his whole life, and that's the right thing to do with babies and small children. What's changed? Do you fear that you will forever be breastfeeding or co-sleeping? You won't. Might you be doing it for longer than you planned? Yep, "cause your baby is a person, and we can't always make our parental needs their needs, unless we want to create a lot of unnecessary angst for ourselves and our children. Work on the weaning for now, and the nightwakings will dwindle away. Then tackle the co-sleeping if you feel you must. I co-slept with both of my children. We tried to "get her out of our bed" many times because we thought it was the "right thing" to do. We finally decided it wasn't worth the effort, and sure enough, when her little brother came along she decided a big girl bed was pretty cool. She was a little over two, and although I'm glad she can sleep on her own, I love the times when she creeps into our bed. She's four now. Our son is still co-sleeping with us, but I know the days are numbered as he continues to mature and become a separate, more independent person. Follow your instincts and your heart. That's how you started out with him, and in my opinion, that's how you should continue with him.

Good luck, and know that these baby days are numbered. You'll miss them when they're gone. I know I do.

A.

Hi,
I feel for you. I nursed until my son was 1.5 so i understand the frustration of no sleep. Don't be so hard on yourself. Breast feeding is harder and breastfed babies wake up more frequently as a whole.
I would start on the co-sleeping by putting the crib in your room if it will fit. I used to nurse and rock my son to sleep then when he was out lay him in his crib. Before bed i found a warm bath and a belly full of oatmeal helped him to sleep longer. Then I started trying to cut back one feeding at a time.
Background noise really helped too. He is used to the sound of your sleeping so a noise machine set to a brook or something might help.
My son took a pacifier so when he would wake up i would give him the pacifier and rock him back to sleep when i was trying to cut back feedings.
Take it slow. It doesn't make you any less of a good mom if it takes a little bit longer. It is going to be a major adjustment not co-sleeping and being weaned at the same time.
Good luck! I hope some of this helps.

hi, K.!

don't feel that you have messed up! having a child who feels well loved and that his/her needs are met is not messing up! it is never to late to teach your child to be a good sleeper...we used the baby whisperer book (the secrets version) and found it to be incredibly helpful as well as the forum on the baby whisperer site where you can get a lot of support and help from other moms who have been where you are now. the author uses such methods as pick-up/put-down method (described in the book in detail) and the walk-in/walk-out method discussed in the forums. i hope this helps...it really helped me not only with sleep, but putting him on a good routine also!

i hope this helps!
-B.

Hi Kristen,

Do not feel that you have messed up. I have come to find out that everyone does things that works for them when it comes to there child and sometimes it is difficult to make changes when you are ready and the child does not want to cooperate, but it can be done just be consistent and do not give in to what ever change you are trying to make.

My child has never been a good sleeper and I used to nurse her to sleep but did not co-sleep and I had a really hard time weaning her but I got it done.

It depends on what changes you are wanting made. Do you still want to co-sleep and wean or do you just want to wean. I have also found that you are not going to be able to get completely away from some crying if you are going to make changes, but you do have to pick a method and be consistent or it will not work.

I found a great book called "Goodnight, Sleep Tight", but it is more for non-co-sleeping, but it helped me a lot. You might also see if you can figure out the main reason why he is waking so frequently and start working on that. My child is almost two and still does not sleep thru the night but is getting better at it.

I hope this helps some. Good Luck.

Hi Kristen,

I am going through the same thing. My 12 month old is a terrible sleeper. I am also nursing and co-sleeping. At his 1 yr. well-baby check, I asked the dr. about some ideas to help him sleep through the night. The dr. suggested that the nursing is definitely the hurdle.
Since I nurse my son to sleep, then he sleeps with me, every time he wakes up, I nurse him to go back to sleep. So, I am working on weaning his middle of the night feedings and his "go-to-sleep" feeding. I now nurse him right after dinner, then go through the bedtime routine. This is definitely difficult, because getting him to sleep takes a lot longer. I am also putting him to sleep in his crib now, (which he doesn't like at all). When he wakes up at night, I am going to the crib and patting him and singing to him to try to get him back to sleep. This doesn't always work, so I've been giving him a bottle as a last resort.
We've been at this a week, and so far he still wakes up several times a night. But, even if I wasn't making any changes he would still be keeping me up, so I figure I'll keep at it as long as it takes.
I don't think this response is actually going to be much help, because I am at my wits end and really wish I could get a good night's sleep. So hopefully its some comfort that someone else is going through the same thing. Let me know if you find a method that works, because if I am still awake all night after a few more weeks, I'll be ready to try something new.