When my newborn son was born, the sleep situation looked promising. For a long time there, he was giving me a five-hour stretch, followed by two 2-hour stretches of sleep. I felt rested and could even wake up before him to get some work done. Around about 3 months old though, he stopped participating. His stretches of sleep have gotten shorter and shorter to where now at 5 months old, he barely lever sleeps for more than 2 hours at a time. Some nights, I try to let him cry it out for just a few short minutes to see if he'll fall back to sleep. He almost never does. I also try not feeding him at every waking, instead helping him get comfortable, reassuring him that I'm there, and giving him his pacifier if it's fallen out. More often than not, he won't accept that. He just gets more and more awake and more and more angry if I don't pick him up and feed him.
I shouldn't say that he doesn't sleep more than 2 hours: usually between 9 and 12 or 10 and 1 he'll get in a good 3 hours, but I'm a work-at-home mom so I use that time to get in my last few hours of work for the day.
Our bedtime routine is bath, massage, sometimes swaddle, and nurse him to sleep. He used to sleep in his crib every night, all night, until about 8 in the morning, with me only occasionally bringing him into my bed to sleep in on weekends. Now, I have to bring him to my bed around 5 a.m. every morning just to get him to sleep a little bit longer.
Last night, between the hours of 12 and 4 he literally had me up about 6 times, and he kept me up the whole time between 4 and 5. He kept trying to sleep, but his little head kept turning side to side like he was super uncomfortable, and no position I put him in seemed to make it any better. He was asleep, but his thrashing kept me totally awake. I won't lie, at that point I wanted to run away to Mexico. When he finally settled down, he slept about 3 hours...his longest stretch of the night. This is pretty consistent every morning, he sleeps the longest when he's in my bed, meanwhile ruining my ability to sleep comfortably.
What am I doing wrong, moms? I will say that he seems just ravenous all the time. He eats some solids but he's primarily breast-fed. I know I'm producing well...the other night he ate so much he actually overate and threw it all up. Let me tell you, I've never seen so much breastmilk in one place. He had really eaten a lot. Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks for all the great advice everyone! I'm sure that everyone who said he's teething or going through a growth spurt is absolutely right. He is drooling and it's been about a month since his last set of teeth poked through. I'm sure those are still bothering him too, because they're not all the way out yet either. All your words of advice were encouraging and even though you pretty much convinced me that I'm in for about another year of this, it helps to know that I'm not doing anything horribly wrong. Thanks again, Mamapedia!
You're doing nothing wrong. It sounds like he's teething. That head movement (back and forth) is a way they sooth themselves while teething. Maybe try giving him some teething tablets or even a little Tylenol if it's bothering him.
Can he roll over yet? If not, get a breathing monitor and try letting him sleep on his belly. Babies don't like to sleep on their backs. I bet when he's in bed with you he's on his side at least, so that's more comfy. Also, is he cold? Lots of babies like to sleep really warm.
I hope you find a solution soon. Being sleep deprived is terrible. (Mexico is much nicer, but as soon as you got there, you'd realize that you'd miss the little bugger. Motherhood is tough that way). Good luck.
Growth spurt is one answer. And it could be coupled with teething. (My 7 month old just had several weeks of crankiness and bad sleep, which was likely due to 5 (!) new teeth for a grand total of 7. We're still waiting for the last matching tooth, but it doesn't seem to be ready just yet.) Just remember, this too shall pass.
You are in the midst of a massive, terrible "Wonder week" --goggle it. After it, he will be sitting up, crawling, and moving around like crazy. It will get better.
What you can do to help him sleep better, though, is put him to bed earlier, and stop bringing him to bed with you unless you want to co-sleep. You need to start really teaching him how to self-sooth. If you haven't introduced a transition object, do so. Then, when he wakes in the middle of the night, go to him, but don't bring him to bed, just do what you can to calm him down, then put him back in the crib. Keep doing this, and eventually (could be a night, could be two weeks), he will stop waking.
You also need to stop feeding him every time you go to him. Yes, he will protest, but after a few nights, he will accept it and sleep through those wakings. So pick two night feedings (he does not need more than this!) and only feed him then. Yes, there will be some sleepless nights, but I did this with my almost 7 month old that was doing 8 hours at 4-12 weeks, then did the 4-6x a night thing until I did this with him. Yes, it sucked, but he is now doing a 7 hour stretch again!
The hell will end soon, I promise. The wonder week, btw, is week 26. After week 26, he should calm down.
I admit, i'm just skimming your post. My first thougth is that at 3 months and 6 months etc they typically have a growth spurt and need to eat more. small frequent meals. maybe he overate because he was so hungry? Also, 3 months seems a little early for solids, i thought it was more like 5 mo. could it be an ear infection?
Sleeping is sooooo hard, i wish someone would have told me that nursing children wake up ever couple of hours for almost the first year. I still would have done it because i think it is that important, but it would have helped if i had expected it.
You aren't doing anything wrong (except perhaps nursing him to sleep...you should put baby down drowsy but awake).
He's going through a growth phase. You're going to start noticing these oddball phases in your child's like where he will go a week or two acting like he's absolutely ravenous, eating you out of house and home...and then a week or so where he doesn't seem hungry at all. The periods of ravenous eating are usually closely followed by a huge growth spurt. Get used to it because you'll see it until he's fully grown. Just feed him his 6-8oz when he's hungry for it (make sure he gets a full meal and isn't just snacking, but not so much that he's going to vomit!).
My son was the same way. He slept 6 hrs straight every night from the day he was born. As he grew, he woke more and more often for night feedings. I finally got so tired I decided to try cluster feeding. During the day, I nursed him every two hours. I also made sure to feed him cereal before bed to help him stay fuller longer. It worked! He stopped waking at night. The idea is that a baby's internal gauge will only take in a set, needed amount of calories in a 24 hr period. If you can get him to take it all in during daytime hours, they won't need night feedings. My son had spaced his daytime feedings to every 4-5 hrs, and night feedings every 2 hrs. I just needed to retrain his body to expect food during the day and not at night.
My girl woke every 1.5hrs the first yr solid. Then was down to every 2-3 hours until finally at about 18month she started sleeping through. Good luck..it will get better.
Yep, I thought growth spurt (they can eat an INSANE amount). If he seems like he can't get comfortable, I'd guess gas or chiropractic misalignment.
Good luck--someday you will get to sleep again.
oh--and gas can be from weird things, like if Mommy eats apples ...
Could he possibly have reflux?
Awwww... I don't have a solution for your question. But I can say that Im going through the same thing with my baby. Lol, when I read your post, I thought it was me who posted it...hahhaha... My 10 month old stopped sleeping "through-the-night" when he turned 7 months old. Now he wakes up every 1-2 hours and if we're lucky he'll sleep 3 hours straight, in one night. When he was a bit younger, I use to bring him to our bed in the morning so that he can sleep a little longer, and now he sleeps in our bed almost all night because he loves being cuddled my both of us (my husband and I). But even then, he still wont sleep longer...aghhhh...
His doctor said that at this age (10 months), they already know what's they want and to get them off that (like weaning them off nursing during the night or putting them back on their crib to sleep all night) it's a bit hard. But I have hope :o). The doc also strongly recommended Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book, I posted it on this website to get some real feedback about this book before buying it. I don't like the CIO method so I hope this book is not all about that.
Anyways, I wish I could give you an asnwer, but all I can say is that you're NOT ALONE... Im going through the same situation.
Wakeful baby-->Breastfeding at night-->eating solids-->sleeping in bed with mom and dad = exaustion but very happy to have my baby healthy ♥
Good Luck
Oh did I mention Im also a SAHM? and the only time I have to do house work and cook is after 8 pm (his bedtime), but then again I get interruped at 8:45-9pm to go put him back to sleep
You've basically just described both of my kids. Sounds like teething to me! My babies slept pretty well until about 4 months, then started waking every hour like clockwork. A few weeks later, I would see the telltale little bumps on the bottom of their gums. When the teeth finally pushed through, that seemed to give them some relief. With my first, after that first round of teething, she went back to sleeping 3 hour stretches until the next round (and the one after that, and the one after that...) WIth my second, she actually never really went back to sleeping more than 2 hours at a time until she was about 18 months and got through the first set of molars.
It's killer, but to me it sounds like you're not doing anything wrong at all. I used to think I must be the only mom whose baby didn't sleep at night, but that could not be farther from the truth. This isn't going to sound very helpful, but in my case with both my girls, I found that nothing I did (and I tried EVERYTHING!) made any difference at all, and really I just had to wait it out until they were more comfortable (not teething) or a little older. Because of that, my strategy was basically to make MYSELF more comfortable at night by co-sleeping so that I didn't have to get out of bed to comfort them. My first started sleeping all night around 22 months, and my second is 23 months right now and still waking about 3 or 4 times a night, but I'm pretty confident that once her 2 year molars come in she will start sleeping all night too.
I know this isn't much help, but please know you are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong!
Our son was like this as well (although not a good sleeper from day 1). He finally started sleeping through the night after he turned 2. What works for him is us sticking to our guns about not letting him in our bed. Makes for a few sleepless nights, but he gets it inside of a week.
Also, we recently found out he has an enlarged adenoid which causes him to breath through his mouth. That wakes him up at night as well.
I don't think you've got the same thing going on - but thought I'd mention it as a possibility.
Oh mama, I know this is a hard thing to go through. It could be any number of things but it sounds like it may be either teething or a growth spurt.
There is NOTHING wrong with nursing a baby to sleep or back to sleep. This is the normal, natural way of raising a baby. It will not give your baby bad "habits" or make them clingy or whatever other nonsense this western culture teaches.
Making a baby cry himself to sleep does not teach him to sleep better or to self soothe. Yes, the baby will eventually stop crying because they've been taught that what they are feeling doesn't matter and crying is useless.
Babies don't cry for no reason. They don't manipulate or any other nonsense. They cry to communicate.
If you want your baby to learn to trust you, respond to his cries. Then he will learn to cry better and not harder and you'll both be happier. The babies that are left to cry it out have trust issues later on. These are the kids that you see at the nursery who throw monster tantrums because they don't want to be left. They aren't sure if mom is ever coming back.
This is a very short, precious phase in your life. You'll never get these baby days back. You won't be nursing forever and your baby will turn into this toddler that sleeps through the night with no problem.
If your son needs you to nurse him, nurse him. If he likes your bed better, let him sleep there. If he bothers your sleep by being next to you, try putting a pillow between the two of you. Then when he starts waking up again, you can push the pillow away and pull your baby to your breast. Once he learns that his needs are responded too and he grows out o this phase, you'll both be sleeping better.
Trust me, it doesn't last forever. I have three kids, two of which are in the "high needs" category, and my two oldest started sleeping through the night in their own little bed around age one. Without one night of crying it out! Imagine that....
Trust your instincts and trust your baby. :)
P.S. Any of Dr Sears books on babies are great and he has a lot of suggestions on sleeping. Or, check out his website askdrsears.com
Take him to a chiropracter. He'll straighten out all the vertebrae and your baby will sleep long hours again.
Sounds like he may be teething.
It sounds just like my daughter...she was a champ sleeper until 4 months old or so, then this. It turned out she had GERD (acid reflux). She wanted to eat because it felt better when she had something in her tummy, but then would be uncomfortable laying down for any length of time.
She was fine once we had her on the proper medication and she had to sleep in an elevated position. Worth a trip to your pediatrician at least!
Good luck,
K.
Get "on becoming babywise" - it is awesome and totally worked for us!
Are you sure he's not going through a growth spurt and needs to eat a little extra at night? It won't last forever and I'm sure he'll settle back into a routine!
My now 15 months old son started sleeping around 11 hours a night at 2.5 months old and I thought wow, this is wonderful thinking it would always be like that. For the most part he is a good sleeper but we have gone through stretches where he just does not sleep good. We figured out that some of it was due to growth spurts and a lot due to teething. My suggestion to you is to see try and figure out if it is something like teething, gas, too warm or cold or something else. I am a firm believer in the Babywise teachings. If you haven't already I would suggest reading the first Babywise book and put to use those tips. One other suggestion I have is to let him cry it out longer. We had to do that with our son...it's painful for the first few nights for everyone but he will soon realize that he needs to be able to fall back to sleep on his own. Give it some time and it should work.
His "thrashing" is probably still him rooting. If he's hungry, feed him. If he's sleeping well in your bed, let him. I found very early with both my kids that we all got the most sleep when baby slept with mommy. It allows them to breastfeed as needed through the night without me needing to wake up.
Contrary to popular myth, babies getting cereal or formula in a bottle before bed don't actually sleep better or longer.
Does he have a crib machine? We've had one in my daughter's crib from the get go and she still loves it at almost 18 months now. It's great. Sometimes I will wake up hearing the music at 3 am but I won't hear her. She will turn it on, stare at it, and fall back asleep. If you don't have one you may want to try that (fairly simple and quick thing to try) before you run off to Mexico. :) hehe
You baby will do this several times before they are considered sound sleepers. Growth spurts, new and exciting things in their lives, acheiving new milestones, stress, etc, will cause them to wake up for some reason or another. Try feeding to get him back to sleep. He may really be hungry. I also wold feed while he's in the crib so he doesnt get used to you rocking/holding him. I totally understand what you mean by not being able to sleep with him while he's in your bed. Our baby, for the most part, hated her crib, and co-sleeping (even though I didn't want to) was the only option we had. Everytime she would toss and turn, kick her legs, make a noise, I would be wide awake. And it always seemed right when I started to drift off to sleep POW I would get a foot in my ribs or an arm across my face. Stay strong. LOL Good Luck!
