Sleep Training for 15 Month Old - Please Help!

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Good advice on this site if you don't have a CIO personality.

First thing I would work on is getting her to sleep through the night before moving her crib. At 15 months there is no reason for her to be nursing at night other then for comfort, so you need to work on helping her find new ways to comfort. She has learned that if she wakes she needs food to go back to sleep, so it may be a struggle to help her unlearn that, and it could be some long nights ahead. Best of luck!

I honestly feel sorry for any baby who's denied nourishment overnight at such a young age just because they "shouldn't need it." Don't we as adults wake in the night and need a snack sometimes? How often do pregnant mamas wake in the night and need a small snack? And do we as adults sleep all the way through the night? Or do we get up to use the restroom? Maybe change positions? Babies have similar sleep patterns as adults, but many don't put together multiple cycles until later.

There are many reasons why someone wakes at night. Scared, lonely, hot or cold, thirsty, hungry...

There's a HUGE spectrum of normal, and it's not the child that has the "problem." The problem is society's expectations and parent reactions. If you're comfortable with CIO, then by all means. However, our babies cry for a reason, and sometimes they just need comfort and security. Do you sleep with your partner/husband? Why shouldn't we afford the same courtesy to our tiny babies and children?

All that being said, there are gentle ways to sleep train, and it's really hard to be a working parent. Let alone a working parent of a child who wakes multiples times in the night! However, keep in mind that night waking is NORMAL. Her night waking may also be a result of reconnecting with you since you're apart during the day while you're working. Frustrating? Hell yes! However, if you know you only have a couple more months of school, you can do some small things now.

Here are some examples:
- Go to bed earlier. I don't know what time you go to bed now, but maybe try to be in bed by 9. (This is a hard one for me! chuckle)

- Put a sippy cup of water in her crib, and have her use a sippy during the day to get used to it (if she isn't already). Sometimes, babies wake in the night because they're thirsty.

- Look at the clock when she wakes the first time. I used to look at the clock, and if it was less than 4 hours since he/she last nursed, I would walk over and pat/rub their back or rub their head.

- If it's beyond 4 hours, I would nurse, then put them back in their crib. This may take some time (anywhere from a couple of nights to a couple of weeks), but the times will lengthen as she's able to string together more sleep cycles.

- If you'd like to keep co-sleeping or bed-sharing, you could wear a less accessible shirt or turn your back to her. My two both night weaned around 18 months, and they did very well with it at that age. They understood a little better when I explained that Mommy's boobies need to sleep, too, and they can nurse again when the sun comes up. It makes it a little more difficult when it's light later and earlier, but adjustments can be made :)

- You could try sleeping in the living room while your husband stays in your room in the bed. This would allow him to soothe her in the night, and she can get used to someone else helping her fall back to sleep.

It won't happen overnight, but if it does, great! Try to have some patience and be more understanding of your daughter's needs. She's certainly not doing this to manipulate you.

I had a the same situation with my second daughter. What we did was my husband and I slept in the living room for a few nights. The first night I remember that my daughter cried off and on for a total of about 3 hours. I was pretty determined not to go in. The next night the total time crying was about 1 hour. The third night it was about 20 minutes. After that, she barely cried at all and started sleeping through the night. It was definitely worth sleeping in the living room for about 5 nights!

Whoa....too many changes mama! I would definitely wait til summer to do it when she is older and when you can implement the changes one at a time. You don't want this to be traumatic for her so go slow and since she is nursing at night, just put the crib next to your bed. Nurse her and put her in bed with you or in the crib. She doesn't sound ready-----*(I don't agree with CIO at all--but I am not here to change your mind). I just don't think she sounds ready.

In reading your question, I think you have 2 things to work on here. One, getting her to sleep thru the night w/o waking to nursing. I'm sure you're aware that at 15 months this nursing is not for nourisment but for comfort so she needs to learn to self-soothe & put herself back to sleep. I'd suggest you work on that first, get her sleeping thru night & then switch her.Since she does sleep in your room this will be a challenge. Weaning can be long process for some kids so you could start off shortening the amount of time you nurse her at night while lengthening the amount of time you go to get her out of bed. You could also enlist your husband & go somewhat cold turkey in that she gets no liquid & he just soothes her back to sleep or he gives her a sippy cup of milk.. I see you live in El Cerrito & if you teach in WCCUSD, you only have 30 more days of school so you might want to wait just one month & then start so you're all not exhausted.

We used the Ferber method. It worked for us. Ferber recommends that you can either try to remove one or a few sleep associations at a time, or do them all in one fell swoop. We chose the latter.

If you can, get some help and nap for a few days straight, or go to bed super early yourself before you try anything. If you aren't firing on all pistons, the job will be that much harder for all involved.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

At 15 months old, she definitely does not need nursing at night at all! Most babies can sleep through the night - 12 hours - without nursing by the age of 5 months latest! Therein lies your problem: she's gotten used to getting milk in the middle of the night and so she's waking up for it. Stop nursing her in the night. If she wakes up, give her a cup of water. She doesn't need it - she's using it to comfort or soothe herself in the middle of the night. Find another method for her to do this. Give her a kiss, tuck her in, sing her a little song, whatever, but if you continue to take her into your bed and nurse her, you're just going to continue to offer her the crutch she needs to soother herself back to sleep. No two kids are alike, so it might not work like your first, but you should definitely put her back in her own crib when she's wakes in the middle of the night, whether it's in your room or your other child's room. I don't mean to be harsh, but nursing in the night at 15 months is completely unnecessary for anything but soothing. You need to start thinking about you and get some sleep!

Oh, she is ready :) She is 15 months. No reason at all why you need to wait any longer. I would go for broke and change everything at the same time. Why do one change, then another, then another, each one of them disrupting sleep for both of you for days at a time, over and over. Change is change. Get it all done at once so you can all move on from this. If you want her in the room with big sis, I would let big sis camp out somewhere else for a week. Discuss this with big sis and let her know what you are planning to do, and that little sis will cry a lot for a few days and so she gets to sleep somewhere else why little sis is getting used to being in her room. That way she will understand what is happening and why, and can also start to mentally adjust to baby sis moving into her room with her.

I was too scared with my first to really do CIO. And his sleep problems lasted for years, and he is still not a great sleeper. I pulled the CIO trigger for my younger boy at 10 months old. He cried for 40 minutes on the first night, 20 on the second night, and about 2 minutes on the last night. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME HE HAS EVER CRIED WHEN BEING PUT DOWN AT NIGHT! I dont mean to yell, but I was just so darn happy to be sleeping again that I am STILL rejoycing, LOL!!! He is 14 months old now, and is the best sleeper ever. He goes down at 8pm and sleeps to 7am, and then takes 1 nap per day that is approx 2 hours long.

Yes, those 40 minutes of crying seemed to last forever, and I cried most of the time too, I knew in my heart that my baby needed to learn to sleep through the night because it is the healthiest thing for him, and that I also need to sleep through the night so that I can be the best mom that I can be. We are all happier now. I was lucky to have my husbands support during those first few days... when I wanted to give up he supported me by reminding me of our end goal, and I did the same for him (he almost cracked at 25 minutes and I said "all we have taught him now is that he must cry for a minimum of 25 minutes before someone comes" and he was back on board)

Good luck momma!!

I would wait until summer. It will be easier on all of you. A couple more months isn't going to make a difference. I like your idea of getting her started in her own room. Try it without moving the older one. Only move her if she says it is a problem for her. Or give the older one permission to stay up later for a few nights during the transition.

We've had a similar issue with our third child, who now is 18mos. I weaned him at 12mos though, so he had been switched to milk but still would wake up at night once for a full 9oz! Since I am not a fan of CIO and just can't do it, we used our Dr's advice and slowly diluted his milk so that he got used to not getting the calories. (Our Dr said that since he is a big boy (he was 30lbs) he got used to getting those calories at that time of day). We started with one oz of water in with 8oz of milk, and increased that over probably 3 weeks.... now he is sleeping through the night no problem. (We did that at 16mos).

The nursing thing is tricky b/c sometimes they just want the reassurance and the nuzzling -- not really the calories. Have you tried having your husband give her a sippy cup or something different at night? It would probably disturb the sibling to share a room, but you need some sleep! I really understand, but think she may do well in another room where she can't see or smell you. Maybe having your husband go to her and just give water, see how that goes for a couple nights? That would be my best guess. Good luck!!!!

Sleep training does not equal cry it out.

I would wait until summer before making any changes, it isn't that long and won't make a difference except lower your stress level.

What is the main issue, that she is still nursing, or that she is sleeping with you? If you want to stop nursing, you'll need to wean her during the day first, then work on the night. If it's the sleeping with you that's the problem, then you'll need to put her back in her crib each time during the night. If it's both, I think you'll need to pick one to address first, then the other or it will be too big of a change for her.

I co-slept so I don't have any personal tips as to what works best. My daughter self-weaned at 11 months, before I was ready to be done, actually.