Sleeping in Own Bed

When we transferred to the toddler bed our son & daughter both would crawl out to our bed or the floor. we just kept putting them back in the bed. The more they woke up in the bed the more they seemed to understand that it was their bed. Being consistent about not giving in to sleeping elsewhere even once.

Hi C.,
When I was pregnant my mom gave us the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It has by far some of the greatest information I've read since having our son. He is an excellent sleeper and we owe all to that book! Whenever new problems arise we refer to "the book" and it always has an answer for us and seems to put our minds at ease. I highly recommend it, especially with the new baby on the way!
Hope this helps you out,
E.

Have you or your husband tried sitting with him in his bed & reading to him. My step son had a hard time to and always wanted to play. I started reading to him and sitting with him.I would run my fingers through his hair, hug him, reassure him & talk to him. It is different for them I think. When my daughter was born we also got a baby moniter in their room. It projected fish on the ceiling. He would watch that and listen to relaxing music.Hope this helps! Good Luck!

We had the same problem when we moved to our new house with our son. We wanted to get him into his new toddler bed before his little brother came. I ended up putting a gate up in his doorway. I would put him to bed, turn on his music and nightlight, and reassure him that he would be just fine. Then I would say goodnight and leave the room. I was consistant with this routine every night. If he would cry, which he did everynight to begin with, I would give him about 10 minutes and then go in his room calm him down. I would put him back in bed, tell him I loved him and say goodnight and leave the room. I made it a simple and short and left the room. It took us about a week to get him settled into sleeping in his own bed. We still left the gate up for about two more months just because he would wake up occansionally in the middle of the night. Good luck.

We had the same problem with our daughter, age 4. We started with the toddler bed in our room, and when that finally stuck, we moved it into her room. She started coming back to our bed, so I made a calendar with the title "Anika sleeps in her own bed!"

We had used this for potty training -- success get a sticker on that day. She would do anything for a sticker, it seemed.
Now she only comes to our room when she's had a bad dream.

Our son (age 2), however, requires more incentive. We're working on potty training, and the sticker on the calendar was not motiviation enough -- so he gets a peanut M&M, too, when he goes in the potty. (This is only at home, as he is in daycare during the day.)

If you have Microsoft Publisher on your computer, you can easily make a calendar, add some appropriate clip art and a title, and you've got yourself a calendar for charting those accomplishments! I'm sure there's other programs out there as well for this.

Good luck!

S.

I wish I had a magic answer for you. I've not had this problem with my boys. Do you ever watch Supernanny on ABC? I love watching it. It gives me encouragement on being a parent and reminds me that I AM THE PARENT! Seems silly we should forget that, but we do. She now has at least two books out, I would look on ebay or see if your library can get them if you're not into buying. Check out when the show is on. I wish you the best of luck. Whatever you decide to do, stick with it and don't back down!!!!! It's going to be awful the first few nights and maybe even the first week, but in the end it will be worth it. Keep the end in mind.

C.
You are really going to have a challenge getting out of this routine. First start with the basic stuff...Doe he have a night light? Does he have a cool bed that every boy would like to sleep in? Then you have to tell him that there is no room in mom and dads bed!! And stick with that...Each time that he gets out put him back. It may take 2 hours for a few nights but it will get better...The most important thing is that you should first of all never of started that and now that you want him out that is that you have to be very firm about!! I guarantee that if you stick with it that he will be sleeping in his own bed in a few weeks. Just make sure that he knows what a big boy he is and make him want to be in his room... you might need to go and buy some big brother things

My son has always slept in his own room because I literally can not sleep with him in the same room as me, however when we moved him to a toddler bed we had the same issue with him coming in our room and also not wanting to go to bed at night. We would end up laying with him or he would scream and carry on for a long time, it was maddening! Anyway I was reading anything I could get my hands on to try and make bedtime easier and I came across something that has really worked! First of all he has a nightlight because 2 year olds often develop fears including of the dark. We do the whole bedtime routine (bath, drink, story, etc.) And then we kiss him goodnight and tell him that we will keep his door open as long as he stays in his bed. If he gets out of his bed we put him right back in and shut his door for a minute to start with and then progressively lengthen the time the door is shut if he keeps getting out of bed. Each time you shut or open the door make sure he knows why and reinforce that you will keep the door open if he stays in his bed. Since your son is used to sleeping with you I would probably sit outside his room or even in his room but on the other side of it and put your head down. Don't interact with him but at least he will know you are there. Then gradually move out of the room and farther away until he adjusts to you not being there. Then it isn't so traumatic for him because it is gradual. I know it is hard. We just did this and I am due in February but it is worth it. It might take a week or two but it's worth it to get some restful nights before the new baby comes. We were pleasantly surprised it only took a couple of nights and he learned. The best thing is it was done with little or no crying because let's face it I can't handle the crying, very few mothers can. Good luck, with consistency and determination you should have no problem. Stay strong!

I can give you a couple of suggestions that might work, they did for me, but that was a few years ago. One try letting him sleep with your shirt that you wore that day. I know it sounds wacky, but that way he can smell you, and it seems to be a comfort. It also works on getting babies to sleep in their crib! Also, try getting him a big pillow to keep in his bed, you might even try putting the shirt on the pillow. That way he can cuddle up to it. Also play up the big brother thing. You'd be surprised how far that will go, and it will help curtail any jealousy down the road.

C.,
I've read the great advice from the other mothers, and I'd like to tell you what worked for us. Our daughter, now 4, had been sleeping with us from birth until age 2, and then we bought our own house, and she had her own room - which was a very scary thought for her. We went with her to the store and got her a stuffed friend that she could sleep with and bought two small night lights, so that if she awoke she wouldn't be afraid. The most important thing for her was when she awoke, we quickly went down the hall to comfort her but under no circumstances did we allow her to join us in bed. This, of course, brought a few tears, but she quickly began to understand that this was her big girls room, and that there was nothing to be afraid of (with constant reassurement). Good luck!

I know how you feel, we had the same problem when our son was younger. We lived in an apartment with a box AC in the master bedroom, so we would let him sleep with us. It got to the point that we had no privacy and he thought he could sleep with us all the time, even when it wasnt hot. So I decided it was time to get him back in his own bed. What I did was I set up a gate in his doorway and let him cry for a while. Yes it is very hard to listen too, and I had to literally sit on my husband to keep him from getting our son. It took a while, maybe a week or so, and then he got that he had to sleep in his own bed. As he got older, we made a deal that if he wasnt tired, he could play for a while in his room, by himself with the lights off. And we would hear him sometimes, but he never came out. Its hard to hear them cry, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get some sleep. Especially when the new baby cames, it will be harder for you when you have to get up with the baby and wake up your other one, if he is still in bed with you. Good Luck and congratulations.

Dear C. H.

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one going through this same thing. I have a 2 year old and one due in March as well. My husband and tried to get Dani to sleep in her own room in a toddler bed as well. No luck, so my husband moved the bed to our room across the room. She now sleeps in her bed with no fussing. We laugh though because it's too late to practice birth control. I am just glad that she is not kicking us all night.

A. W.

C. - First, you are not alone. I have had parents at my daycare go through this same problem and we HAVE conquored it! I watch alot of Supper Nanny and she has a great technique for getting children to go to bed in their beds, in their rooms, and staying there. If you aren't familiar, what she does is read a story or whatever the routine is, hugs and kisses, put them in their bed. Then mom or dad sits in the floor in the child's room staring straight ahead and not speaking, not looking at the child, no attention whatsoever. If the child gets out of bed, mom/dad puts child back in bed and says "Night night time". Sit back down in the floor, no attention, no eye contact, etc. Every time they get up after that you say nothing. No attention, no eye contact, etc... It is hard and it may take HOURS the first night and maybe even a few after that. But I promise you, if you are consistant and do not waiver, it will work and within a few days your child will go to bed in their bed, in their room and sleep there all night. I've used this technique at nap time here during daycare too and it worked like a charm! Good luck to you! K.