Sleeping Issues - Greenville, RI

My oldest was 6 when his great grandpa passed away and we went through the same thing with him the entire summer. Him and his papa were very close they spent a lot of time together. All I can suggest is that you be very supportive and explain things if he is worried about you just tell him that things like that don't usually happen to people that are you and your husband's age. Dr. Sears as some very good insight for this on his website askdrsears.com I would slowly ease him back to his room I wouldn't rush it if the first night he doesn't want to go back to his bed let him stay just make it a slow return back to his own room. Explain to him that you and your husband aren't going anywhere and will be there in the morning to make him breakfast and see him off to school this is hard thing for children and they just need to know that things happen in life but they generally young people don't sick and they live along life.

If I were you, I would do 2 things. First, I would probably just sleep in his bed with him. The practice of getting through a night in his own bed for a couple nights with you close by may give you all the rest you need. And it may bring back his comfort of his own bed. Since there are intense feelings his dealing with, we draw with my 5 year old. I ask him the hard questions and we draw/write it out together. Then we draw out the things that would make him happy. At 5 they can get it all out if someone just keeps asking questions that bring it out. Good luck with the sleeping and your dad's recovery.

Hi C.,

We lost my mom to cancer about 2&1/2 years ago when my son was nine. Losing her brought him fear that he could also lose me at any time and he was petrified to do anythingt without me, including sleep. His separation anxiety got worse as the day progressed to night. One thing that I tried which did help a great deal is redirect him back to bed and look at pictures with him that I let him stick all over his headboard to have close to him at night. They were pictures of him and my mom as well as him and me. This gave him a feeling of closeness through the pictures and security enough to stay in his own bed. Not sure if it will help with your little guy, but figured I would put it out there for you. Good luck!

Dear C.,
I'm so sorry about your father's stroke but am glad that he's making a recovery. It's understandable that your son wants to be closer to you after this trauma and things always do seem worse at night so it also makes sense that he's having trouble sleeping and wants to have you near at that time. However, I don't recommend continuing with a sleeping bag on the floor of your room. As you say, he needs to be in his room, his bed. I would spend some time with him in his room with him before bed, talking about anything he wants; hugging, kissing and cuddling; and reading a story. Perhaps you can lie with him for a few minutes after lights out. But I would leave him while he is still awake, I wouldn't stay with him until he is asleep. Just like his staying in your room on the floor, that creates a dependency that you don't want to perpetuate. It is hard but over time his need to have you there will lessen. If he wakes up in the night, go to him and repeat the same pattern: talk, kiss, cuddle, and stay for a few minutes. Then tell him that it's sleepy time and you love him and will be there for him in the morning. It's really not so different from teaching children to sleep on their own as infants, only they're dealing with more traumatic issues keeping them awake.

Good luck and wish your father a speedy recovery.

I would definitely find someone who can help your son work through his anxiety - whether it's a counselor at school (you don't say if he's Kindergarten), or start with his pediatrician. It may help him to talk about his feelings (whether through just talking, drawing, etc.)

It has to be pretty scary for him as he probably doesn't understand what happened, etc.

And extra hugs from mom, dad and Grandpa are probably in order. :)

I hope your dad makes a speedy recovery!

First of all, I am so sorry that you are dealing with such difficult issues with your father. I have no idea if I can be helpful, because my son's sleeping issues are not related to a traumatic event. It may just take some time for your son to feel secure again. I imagine that you are talking to him about it and working on that already.
So my four year old, after years of being a great sleeper, is also going through a phase of waking during the night. Often he wakes several times. WE are all exhausted from it. The two things that I have been trying with him are to reward him when he makes it through the night without coming into our room. He has a marble jar and i told him I woudl put in a whoel handful of marbles if he made it through the night. When the jar is full, he can pick something fun to do- ice skating, playing a game, sledding at his favorite hill, going tot he toy store, museum, library, etc..-
The other thing that I did was to talk to him in the middle of the night about his feelings. He says that he wakes up and feels to lonely to go back to sleep. So I gave him a visualization sleep technique. I told him to envision the marbles and think about counting them as he dropped them in his jar. To count as high as he could count. I was hoping that would help him fall asleep and take away his anxiety and loneliness.
We used to always take him to pee right before we went to sleep- 11pm ish. We stopped doing that because it seemed to make matters worse. He would fall asleep easily then, but always he would be up a couple of hours after that. Last night he slept through the night- til 7am. He was proud of himself.
I hopeany of this helps. It sounds like you have a more complicated situation, but addressing head on his anxiety, acknowledging it and giving him techniques to deal with it will help him forever.
Good Luck, and may your Dad continue to get better.