Sleeping Pattern Interupted

Give her extra love and be patient. Illness throws kids off and it can take awhile to get back on schedule. I'd hesitate to let her cry it out at such a young age, since it's probably not stubborness as much as being off schedule that has prompted her to be up at night. Try soft music, a pacifier, pats on the back, an extra bottle, etc. and ease her back into her routine. It's tough, but also a part of parenting. My youngest takes at least a week to get back on schedule everytime he goes through an illness.

SAHM of seven, 23 yr - 18 mo.

Is she beginning to get a first/other tooth. My son was bear when teething - especially at night. I don't typically like to use tylenol if he doesn't have a fever, but some nights we had to in order to get enough sleep to make it through the next day. Good luck!

Hi K.
My advice would be to comfort her while she is in her crib and not get in the habit of feeding her if she was sleeping through the night she should not need a feeding. and hopefully she will start to sleep through the night again. She may just be so over tired from the virus that she is unable to sleep well. T.

My son will be 5 months next week and we've had this problem with a couple of colds. I promise you that she will get back on schedule. For us it finally took for me to pull an all nighter for him to get back on schedule and it's worked every time once he was feeling better. He's been sleeping through the night since we brought him home so I was just as frustrated and frazzled when it happened to us, but it'll pass in time and if all else fails stay up all night with her and let her get it out of her system, stay up with her during the next day... needless to say nap if you can, and for us it got us right back on schedule. It was the only way that I could get him back to a normal sleeping pattern and we haven't had any problems since the last cold.

A.

I have an 18 month old who is good now about going back to her sleeping pattern after being sick. But when she was little, a lot of times she wouldn't. I'd usually give her a few days of being healthy to correct herself on her own otherwise we'd let her cry it out. Then it only took a couple of nights and she was good again. You should maybe give her a few days too and for your own sanity if she doesn't go back let her cry-she'll be better off with more sleep and so will you.

Hi!
The same thing happened to my daughter and Itook her to the doctor and she had an ear infection. Once the infection was treated, she went back to the same routine. Do not worry!
Another thing is that she may be starting to teeth, some kids start early.

It sounds to me as though the virus interrupted her good sleep habits and kind of left her flailing through the night now that she feels better. Also, she is only 5 months old; babies are changing as they become toddlers and it sounds to me like it was about time for her routine to get jumbled up even if the virus hadn't come along. It's just the normal course of things. I remember when my first child started missing one of her daytime naps as a baby--oh my god! It really disrupted the nice, established rhythm of the day for me. I wondered what I was doing that was so wrong. It was just that she was a baby and she was changing. My advice is that she needs to be gently eased back into her normal sleep routine and this would absolutely not involve making her "cry it out". Not getting sleep is devastating for a mom but it is even more harmful for a baby. The long-term effects on a child are very hard to undo. In my opinion, and from what I've seen, the "cry it out" (detachment parenting) method ensures you will not have a child who is a good sleeper when they are older (i.e., when you consider making her cry it out, ask yourself how you would like a 5 year-old waking you up every night?)...you also risk having a child who won't take naps.

You can take her back to her doctor because she might not actually be over the virus. Take into consideration too that she may be teething and it just coincidentally began at the same time as the virus. Then again, you just might have a baby with a different temperament than you expected. No matter the case, it's just going to take some time but you need to do what you can to be relaxed and gentle with her when she wakes up--and be there for her. Yes, you will be sleep-deprived (join the club). But it doesn't last forever.

After all, a baby this age is just a few months away from the separation anxiety phase and believe me, we have got to give them what they want/need (same thing for them at this age) during this time because otherwise we are going to most likely be spending the rest of their early childhood years making up for what they didn't get when they needed it most. That's my two cents.

This is such a common issue. I struggled with it forever as well. The advice others gave me that I am passing on to you is hard on us moms, but good for the babies. When she cries, peek to make sure she is not hurt or caught in blankets or the crib. If she is fine, she has to cry it out. She knows you will come and rescue her so she is used to this. She now needs to know that she has to go back to sleep. My daughter cried for 1 1/2 hours the first night, 1 hour the next, and so on until she didn't wake up to cry on night--finally. It is so hard. Get some ear plugs :) you will need them. Babies have to learn to self soothe. When they are sick it is so different. We need to help them. When they are well, they need to help themselves. My daughter is 17 months old and we still struggle because of teething, illness, whatever. She has to relearn to self-soothe. The good thing is the length of the crying gets shorter as they learn. You will be fine. Be brave and know it is hard, but you BOTH need your sleep--baby and mom. Good LUCK!!!

Has your daughter ever been checked for spinal misalignment and nerve disfunction? This could be a sign of the nervous system being interfered with. My husband sees many infants and children, however they do not have the ability to say what might be bothering them. He does not twist or snap anything around and there are just a few doctors within a 3 hours radius that do the work he(we) does.
This is just a though. Make sure of the intentions of the doctor before allowing them to do anything though. If you need a referral, just let me know.

K.,
I just wanted to add something after reading some of the responses. I did let my daughter cry it out (it only took 2 nights-30 min tops the 1st night and 10 min the next) and let me assure you, she is 4 now and has no issues with sleeping!!! She knows how to soothe herself and doesn't depend on her parents to do it. I did a research paper on this in nursing school and contrary on what people say about kids being "bad sleepers" and having "abandonment issues" there is no correlation between crying out for a few nights and those issues. Those issues stem from much bigger ones such as neglect and not caring and loving your child the way you should, not meeting their needs. What I did when I let my daughter cry it out is come in the room after she'd cry for 5 min and I would simply tell her, "mommy is still here, go night night". Then I would leave and come back after 10min. There are books about using this method but I don't have any titles b/c I just did it on my own. Your child and YOU will be so much more rested!

I am so sorry to hear you are not getting any sleep I was just there a couple of weeks ago. I have a 6 month old boy who got an ear infection and along with that a new routine. I soon began to realize that waking up in the middle of the night quickly became a habbit and not a need. I had to let him cry for about 20 minutes at 2am and he has not woke up at that time since. I think he just needed to realize that was not morning time. That is what worked for me. Hope it helps you out!

I have had the same problem before three times. I have three kids under 4. The best advice and method that I've used is probably one of the hardest but it works and pretty fast. But be sure that she isn't hungrey, chances are she just got in the habit of waking up. Here's what I've done. Let her cry. It's HARD, but it helps her learn to sooth herself and put herself to sleep. If you're really having a hard time, take a good sleeping pill and you can sleep through her. The first night is the longest cry streak, but the next couple are shorter than the next thing you know she's sleeping through the night. And remember, when the both of you are well rested you can be a better mom, and her a healthier baby.

This happened to our daughter whenever she got sick too (she is 6 months now). To get back into the routine, we let her cry it out the first night. She only woke up a couple of times, and when she woke she only cried for 5 minutes or so (I think she realized that no one was coming in to 'save' her). On the nights that we did comfort her or bring her into bed with us, she would wake several times and we were both exhausted.

I agree that you should not let her cry it out. It's true that you might see good results from it, but you are sending a message to your tiny baby that you will not be there for her when she needs you. This is not what you want your baby to believe.

Babies sleep patterns are always changing. Just when they get into a good pattern of sleeping, something comes along and wrecks it - teething, sickness, or just needing mommy. I have a 5 month old son who has been a good sleeper from the beginning, and when he hit four months that all went out the window. He was up every couple hours, needed help getting back to sleep. Didn't want to fall asleep on his own anymore. But he's back to normal now. Your daughter could be teething, that could be bothering her, even if you don't see a tooth popping out it could be causing discomfort. You could try some Motrin for that if you want. Just be there for her if she needs you - she's only a baby for such a short time - it will get better, trust me.

Babies who "cry it out" develop abandonment issues that will plague them (and you) for a lifetime. On this website (Business Reviews) a sleep system is offered that promises sleep without forcing babies into this unhealthy dilemma. I have never used it, but you should try everything before you try that old-fashioned "cry it out" tactic. Think about it K. ~ she is only 5 months old...

DO NOT CRY IT OUT. read anything by the sears family to see why. www.askdrsears.com

however, your daughter is 5 months old, she could be teething. this will last until the teeth break through, and yes it is temporary, but it is HORRIBLE to have to deal with. it makes baby who is otherwise happy, a terror. i had one child in my day care who was completely unconsolable until his teeth finally broke through on the bottom, then mom tells me he did the same behavior through the top teeth breaking through. after those first ones, it is usually easier, although you will notice again some sleep troubles.

do your best to treat the pain with whatever your doctor recommends, i found that hyland products worked best for my son, and it is all natural. www.hylands.com

babies do not 'sleep through the night' like we expect them to, and the best thing is to not expect too much from them to avoid becoming dissappointed in what they are. sleeping through usually means 5 hours tops - remember they have tiny tummies! i wouldnt really expect a kid to actually sleep 8 hr stretches regularly until after a year, when teething and that rapid growth and learning slows down. they will also have sleep disruptions with teeth, crawling, walking, and any other developmental milestone.

is there a dad involved? grandma? recruit help if it is too much for you. even a friend maybe who has kids can help - maybe switch off when each of you need a break. being a mom is hard work, no one will tell you its easy, and as they grow, they have periods of independence, followed by a period of dependence, and that is healthy and needs to be tended to. the more we are reasponsive to our childrens needs from the beginning, the easier it is to read them and their needs, and the easier it is to develop a relationship of trust and love with them. when you ignore their needs as a baby, you start ignoring there needs in general, and it becomes harder and harder to read what their true needs are. remember that - however, if you come to your breaking point, and your temper is flaring, and you feel like you might hurt yourself, or your baby, DO NOT HESITATE to let your baby cry. i DO NOT believe in routinely letting your baby cry, after all, who gets sleep when baby is crying, but do not continue to torture yourself or your baby to the point where someone is going to get hurt. get help from anyone in your life who is willing to help you before it becomes dangerous.

a baby crying in moms arms is still better than crying alone, so dont give up on your natural instincts to respond to your baby. you are the only person in the world who is given the power to read your specific child, you know what she needs best. but dont overextend yourself to the point that someone could get hurt.

you are a great mom for asking for advice, be proud of yourself for that, lots of moms are afraid to ask! keep learning and growing with your baby girl... you wont regret it!

Hey - I have a 5 month old son who is going through the same thing right now! He had a virus a couple weeks ago and started waking frequently and has not returned to his 5-hour stretches yet. What I do, works quite well for me, is have him sleep in bed with me. That way, when he gets up to eat I only have to wake up for 10 seconds to get him latched on in the side lying position and I go right back to bed and hardly lose any sleep. It's very safe, contrary to what some say - many studies have shown it is only dangerous when the parent is intoxicated in some way. It makes it not a big deal at all when they want to get up to eat. Hopefully he (and your daughter) will fall back into a good sleeping pattern on their own - I haven't thought much about that part, just about how to survive right now. Hope that helps (of course, if you are using formula then there's no way to do it).

Hi K.,
The exact same thing happened to us. We tried for three weeks to get her to go back to sleep but it became crazy and we were all exhausted. We finally did the Ferber/cry it out and have had good results. It's not fun but it works. Good luck!