Sleeping Routine with a Newborn

Updated on November 18, 2008
S.P. asks from Rutland, VT
28 answers

Right now i am not working but i unfortunately have to go back to work starting december first. My baby is only just over 2 weeks old and he is up every hour to two hours wanting a bottle. I am guessing it is because he does not eat enough at once before he ends up falling asleep. My boyfriend has a hard time getting and staying up with him so most of the time it is up to me. I need to know how i can get him to eat more so i can get some sleep, i am starting to get very stressed and tired out already.

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So What Happened?

He has been starting to eat more and sleep a little longer. I am not sure what i am going to do for daycare because it is so expensive and i cannot get help from the state because they think my boyfriend makes too much. I am most likely going to have to work on the weekends in which my mother has off and she takes him for me and on mondays my boyfriend has off. It is going to be tough seen as how my manager is quiting at work and i am the assistant manager i might have to put myself in a demotion because of my position requirements. My boyfriend and i are trying not to give him a pacifyer because we do not want to have to ween him off of it, so i just wash my hands and put my pinky in his mouth when he feels he needs to suck. The only water i give my baby is mixed in with his formula in which i have to do because it is powder formula that i get from wic. My babies pediatrician does not reccomend cereal until about 4 months for him. Thanks for everybody's insight on my issues. Oh by the way i have been making my boyfriend get up more with him!

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

S., have you tried rubbing his toes and foot or feet to keep him a wake? Have you keep him cool by letting his feet out of the pajamas or outfit to help him stay awake or stroke his cheeks to "tell" him to keep eating? I have gone through that and it's worth trying those things.

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E.D.

answers from New York on

The routine is there is no routine....you may start seeing one around 8-9 weeks...Good Luck...it gets much easier.

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L.L.

answers from New York on

I hate to say this but get used to being tired! He's only 2 weeks so it's pretty normal for him to be up that often.
Lynsey

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N.A.

answers from New York on

Hi S.--I know this is hard. Your baby will need to eat every 1 1/2-3 hours, pretty much like clockwork for a while. No way around it. I would NOT put rice or anything other than breast milk or formula in his bottle at this point--his digestion is not ready for it, and it may cause more problems than not. My twins were up every 2 hours through their first 6 weeks, then they started to stretch out a bit between feedings. But no baby can or should go more than 3 hours without feeding until they are taking in 24 ounces per day--stretching it out can lead to failure to thrive (and they just get noisy!).

The one thing you can do now is to set a "bed time" (we picked 7:30), and then start your routine of changing his clothes to night clothes, reading him a story, putting on bedtime music and making the room really dark or whatever you want bedtime signals to be. When he gets up to feed between bedtime and morning (for us that was 6 am) just change him quickly, leave the lights low, and don't talk to him. The less interaction the better, and he'll start to get the idea about night vs. day. It may seem absurd now, but in a few weeks, it will begin to pay off.

You can also decide with your boyfriend which feedings each of you will do--one of you can take the 8 pm-1 am feeds, and the other the after 1-6 am feeds. That way you get chunks of time to sleep. Also, go to bed when they do!
Good luck, it really does get easier!

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J.P.

answers from New York on

Congratulations!!

I too had 1 month off and had to go back to work. Small company I feel your pain!

Mine just turned 2 months and wanted a bottle every two hours. He's formula feed and dr said he should be 3-4 hrs, but the baby had different plans. Just about 6 weeks he started sleeping a little longer.

I did sleep when he slept but it was rare. There were things to get done while he was sleeping.

My MIL and sister are here separately for 1.5 months so they take the nights but my time is running out but he is sleeping longer.

I'd discuss the rice cereal in the bottle w/your dr.

Who takes the baby when you go back to work?

What is your schedule at night? Do you get the baby at one feeding then boyfriend the next so someone sleeps in between? That is what we started off with. My hubby doesn't do well w/the 3am feeding, so in the first month, he stayed awake for the 11 or midnight feeding then I did the next then he did the following which was about 5 or 6am.

As of now, and it is working great, whenever he feeds last for the night, say 10pm, he will always get a top off at 11pm. (He doesn't drink much but it helps.)

Last night he went to sleep at 1130pm and then woke at 430am. Pure heaven!!!

I enjoyed being able to drink more coffee when I went back to work.

Hope things get a little easier for you and remember to smile daily.

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S.L.

answers from Binghamton on

Unfortunately that sounds like a normal 2 week old schedule. The idea of a 3 hour feeding schedule is crazy and it comes from the days when you would let a hungry baby cry for hours until it was the "right" time to eat. Rather than try to change your baby's normal infant behavior, look at what you can change in your life to make things easier. Have you thought about co-sleeping or having the baby in a bassinet next to the bed so you don't have to get up every hour? I loved co-sleeping with my baby and I was the only one of my friends who wasn't sleep deprived.

Do WHATEVER you need to do to get sleep.

Best of luck

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L.S.

answers from New York on

First off S., congrats on your baby. Second, I hate to say it, but welcome to parenthood. It's basically equivalent with sleep deprivation, especially this early. A newborn so young has a stomach the size of a large marble, so you can't fill it so much. I'm assuming you're giving formula and not breastmilk from a bottle. Does your baby fall asleep at the bottle? You can try and tickle him a little under the chin or on the back to keep him awake, but ultimately what he's doing is normal. It's so difficult to go back to work that soon. But, unfortunately, if your boyfriend can't step up to the plate a little more, you need to kind of just accept you'll be a zombie from tiredness for a while, and realize it won't last forever. Bottom line, at 2 weeks of life, your baby doing what he's supposed to do. Good luck, and try to nap when your baby does.

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C.M.

answers from New York on

I imagine that the added pressure to have to go back to work soon has you more stressed here. I was when I had to think about my baby's needs and my readiness to go back to work. Is there anyway possible that you could extend your time away from work so that you could stay w/ your baby a little bit longer and then hopefully the baby will be sleeping more throughout the night; giving you more sleep? I coslept w/ mine and breastfed him which made it easier for me to continue sleeping when he was frequently feeding at night.
Is there an alternative option of having another person (possibly in addition to your husband in giving a feeding during the night, if you have another close relative or friend or person who is mature and lives w/ you or could stay with you?
If you have to return to work then, you just have to and then to prepare yourself for this. You are already preparing by thinking of both of your needs which is great. Above all just be sure you are able to transition yourself and your baby in the most tender, gentle and loving of ways!
All the Best,
C.

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D.R.

answers from Elmira on

Oh girl i feel your pain. Our oldest son who now is 5 did the same thing. Thankfully i was not working but my husband worked 2 jobs so i could stay home with him and i did not expect him to get up with the baby. I too was making bottles every 2 hours, it was draining. Our son had his nights and days mixed up for almost 9 months, thats what it lead into. My suggestion to you is this. Try and keep him on a set schedule without changing it. Take naps at a regular time and bath time leading into bedtime. You can also try putting a little bit of rice in his baba. If your baby is anything like my boys they were healthy babies. It will get easier i promise you that. Not sure if you are against this but our first sn slept with us and sometimes just rubbing him and singing to him would put him back asleep, rather then getting a bottle. He will get use to that baba and that will be hard to break. Try using a nuk or something too. I hope this helped a little bit.

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

S.,
Your newborn is still new! and getting used to being in the outside world, please have patience! Patience will help you the most, especially if your little one has problems settling into a routine. Feed him as much as he requests when he requests it without getting him on a routine - yet. Let him get over the 6 - 8 week 'hump' of settling in. Not all babies sleep through the night right away either.

I guess I have a question first: Why don't you get 6 weeks leave?

I'm sure you'll get a lot more advice further along - just wanted to offer all three of you support and say: CONGRATULATIONS MOM! You did it!

Good luck,
M.

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R.L.

answers from New York on

Oh S., your baby is only 2 weeks! From birth to about 8 weeks babies have growth spurts every 2 weeks. Then it's about every 2 months until 6 months, then every 3 months until a year. You'll notice your baby eating a lot more just before the growth spurt. That said, at your baby's age, their little bellies are only big enough to hold just so much. If I recall correctly, their bellies are only a size of a walnut. So, it's not really a matter of them not eating enough, because they are only able to eat so much. It takes about 90 minutes to digest, and so every 1-2 hours your baby will want more food. Some time around 4 weeks, it'll stretch out a bit longer to 2-3 hours. But, it will stick to about every 3 hours for quite a while, and eventually stretch out to 3-4 hours. But, that is just the scoop with babies. You're just pretty tired for a while. My daughter started sleeping through the night by 4 months. That is when I really felt like I started to get more sleep. I know it is hard, but it does get easier. Hang in there, and try to get some help if you can. Is there a close friend or family member you can call to come over and help out?

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,
Congrats on the new baby! It can be tough to go back to work when your baby is still up frequently in the night.
At this age, just a couple of weeks old, your baby needs to eat frequently. If he's breastfed, 8 to 12 feedings in 24 hours is the norm. At least 8 feedings for a bottle fed baby. It is normal at this age for babies to cluster feed during the night - it's often a sign of your baby's first growth spurt - so in a couple of weeks, he may be sleeping more. But when you're going back to work and your baby will be a month old, I would not expect for him to sleep longer than a 3 hour stretch, 4 if you are really, really lucky.
Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

That is not going to happen, unfortunately, because your baby's stomach is just too small to take in more food. At this age, you need to let him eat when and as much as he wants - it's critical for his growth and overall health to let him dictate his eating habits at this point, and it's actually a good sign that he's hungry so often. Sorry, but welcome to motherhood!! Just remember that it won't last long. Nothing in childhood does!

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C.F.

answers from New York on

Hi S.! First congrats on teh baby.. second, I'm not really sure what you expected from a newborn but all they do is eat, sleep and poop! He should be giving you a few hours at a time though.. to keep him awake, undress him, change his diaper to get him mad. Kick your boyfriend in the A%& to make him get up and help you!! have hi m take one feeding so you can get a few hours stretch of sleep.. try to feed tahe baby every 3 hours during the day and then hopefully he'll give you a longer stretch at night. having a baby is alot of hard work and sleepless nights. It's only just beginning, but it's the best job in the world!! good luck.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

First of all, "Congratulations" on the birth of your son! I remember those days! I have 3 children. ( I'm a grandmother now.) However, it sounds like you just have a normal newborn baby, with normal frequent feedings. I understand your situation, but this is what newborns do, and it won't last forever...really! Your priority right now must be to try to rest or nap the same times as your newborn, to build up a reserve of strength and energy for yourself.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

I'm sorry- this is one of those "wait it out" things. Your little one is doing exactly what they are supposed to do. And you really have to feed a newborn on demand. I know you're so exhausted, and you're probably incredibly nervous about going back to work. But your baby will slowly be able to stay awake/asleep longer, and eat more between sleeping periods.

You're going to be more tired than this, though! This is a long process, and once you think you've got it figured out- something else pops up! Teeth, milestones, etc. It's all part of the process.

Congratulations on your baby, and good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Rochester on

at 2 weeks your newborns stomach is only the size of a marble. Thats what newborns do eat every 2 hours!!!my son is 16 weeks old eats every 3 hours including during the night. You are in for a lot of sleep deprived nights!!!Sorry but welcome to the wonderful world of motherhood. Maybe you will be blessed with one of the very few babies who start to sleep through the night at 4-5 weeks.

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K.E.

answers from New York on

Hi S.
One of the reasons newborns wake up so frequently is that their stomachs are so small. They fill up quickly and need to eat again very shortly after. Gradually, as they grow, they will eat more and sleep longer. I have a newborn who was up every 1.5/2 hours and after 11 weeks, he is sleeping 3 or 4 hour chunks. I breast feed him but at nights he usually gets a bottle of formula, which seems to keep him asleep longer.
Good luck and keep us posted.
K.

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D.

answers from New York on

Sorry honey, but this is what it means to have a newborn. You have to remember his stomach is only the size of his fist. He can only hold enough in his stomach to hold him off for 2 hrs. It's gonna be a few months before he can go much longer then that. My kids never slept through the night until 7 and 9 mos. The average for sleeping through the night is 6 mos. What your going through is totally normal. Sorry, I wish I had better news for you.

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R.Q.

answers from New York on

Hi S.
With both of my girls I had them on a 3 hour and then a 4 hour schedule. Meaning.....I fed them every 3 hours in the beginning and then stretched it to 4 hours. By 3 weeks both girls were sleeping through the night. The biggest mistakes new moms make is feeding everytime the baby cries. As babies they need a routine. In between feedigs give water or a pacifier to hold hem over. I was given this advice by a Doctor and I have to say it was the best "baby Advice" I ever received.
Hope it works

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E.E.

answers from New York on

Unfortunately, this is normal. You are going to have to wait it out until he is a little older. They need to eat around the clock at this age and there is no way to schedule a routine for a child this young. You must feed them when they are hungry. But during the day if he has been asleep for 3 hours you can wake him up and feed him so that he does eat enough. Then hopefully at night he might have one stretch where he sleeps for 3 or 4 hours. Also you can help him learn day and night by taking him out for walks during the day and making sure the shades or curtains are open and he is getting light exposure during the day. At night when he wakes up, you should not turn on any lights if possible, or just a tiny night light. Here's the other thing, when you count the time between feedings, when the doctor says to feed him every two hours, it's every two hours from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next feeding. So if the baby starts eating at 12 and it takes him 45 min to an hour to finish eating (not uncommon at this age), you still have to feed him again at 2. I think formula is digested slower than breast milk so sometimes formula babies can go a bit longer, but they still need to eat frequently. I never had experience with this as my son was breastfed and had an allergy to formula. Actually breastfeeding helped me sleep more because I breastfed him in bed laying down on my side. I had a lactation consultant come to my house and she helped me learn how to feed my son in this position. You can actually have your head on a pillow, the baby is laying on his side facing you and you can kind of doze off a little bit while the baby eats. Motherhood makes you a light sleeper so once the baby comes off the breast, you wake up and put him back in the bassinet. So the night time wakings were not as bad once I figured out this position. It does take a little while to get used to it and even just to learn how to breastfeed in general, but it is so worth it, even if you are going back to work, you can still do it just during the time you are home and you would still be able to make the milk. It really helped me to get a little bit more sleep (anything, even a few minutes can help). Plus with breastfeeding you just get the baby, change him if he needs it and then pop him right on your breast in a few minutes instead of having a crying baby wait until you finish mixing up the formula and heating it up and pouring it in the bottle. Another thing is to get a bassinet or a co-sleeper crib to put right next to your bed so you don't have to go far to get the baby.
Here are a few breastfeeding resources that I think every new mom should have: http://www.kellymom.com (this site also has lots of advice on other things too) and The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears. Good luck and sorry about the lack of sleep. It does get better after a few months. Right now you just have to deal with it.

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S.S.

answers from New York on

Sasha, babies are like that when they are little. They drink every 2 hours (or less), and they don't have a routine. Mine was like that too. Formula does keep them full a bit longer than breastmilk. They do get better evetually. By 6 weeks, my daugher was able to drink every 2-3 hours. I went back to work about 8 weeks. We gave her formula during the day, so she can get more sleep in between.

S.

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M.S.

answers from New York on

There's nothing wrong with your baby. they will eat every 1 - 2 hours for almost 2 months. Relax. that's why maternity leave is 6 - 8 weeks. BAbies do not eat more than that until about 8 weeks and then your baby will eat about 4 ounces per feeding and sleep 3 -4 hours. New born babies have extremely small stomaches and therefore get hungry often. You must feed him as often as you are doing. Don't be stressed and don't plan on returning to work until he's at least 2 - 3 months old.

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S.R.

answers from New York on

Never give a baby under 6 months old water!
http://www.stlouischildrens.org/tabid/88/itemid/166/Water...
"According to pediatricians like James P. Keating, MD, medical director of the St. Louis Children's Hospital Diagnostic Center, too much water dilutes a baby's normal sodium levels and can lead to seizures, coma, brain damage and death."
If your baby is on formula you can probably be going a little bit longer, certainly longer than an hour, between feedings. But keep in mind that the time between feedings is from the start of one feeding to the next. So if it takes baby 40 minutes to finish a bottle or breastfeed the next feeding at this age will be no more than 2 hours and 20 minutes later (3 hours total).

Your baby needs you, he may not be hungry but need to be held or burped or changed. But most importantly you need to speak with your doctor before you change anything like adding cereal to a bottle (definitely not recommended by the AAP ever) or giving water.

My daughter is 10 months and there's no getting around the fact that exhaustion is just a part of life with a baby. Good luck going back to work.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear S., Congratulations on your new baby. I am sorry you have to go back to work so soon. Your baby is doing what any other baby would do. When they are new they need to eat every few hours. As a mother of 5 I can tell you that you will adjust to getting little sleep. It is not ideal, but your baby needs you now. You could try waking him when he falls asleep by tapping or tickling his little foot. In this way he may eat some more. If you were nursing, you could bring him into bed and he could feed while you sleep. I wish you my best as you pass through this time. Try not to get stressed as your baby will sense this too. Motherhood is not easy, but is rewarding over time.Grandma Mary

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J.M.

answers from New York on

sorry mama, thats just how it is sometimes, but dont worry, it will get better. basically, for the first 2 months or so, a baby wakes whenever they want. some babies eat more or less often than others. some sleep great, others never sleep well. you cant predict it.

i would agree, NEVER GIVE A BABY THAT YOUNG WATER. as for the hunger issue, until 1 month, a baby should NEVER sleep more than 4-5 hours at night without a bottle. after a month, you wouldnt need to wake him as long as he is gaining well. so my suggestion is to introduce a pacifier since he isnt breastfed. AFTER he is one month, when he wakes, try to give him the pacifier. if he takes it and goes back to sleep for a long while, he wasnt hungry and just needed some comfort. but if he wakes in 20 mins, or spits it out, he needs to eat.

beware of schedules at this age. you must feed your baby when he needs it. do not under any circumstances, deny a bottle to try and put him on some sort of schedule(like babywise). its very dangerous and can cause failure to thrive growth issues. just take the next few weeks to pay attention to his cries. if you learn when he is hungry, you both will have a much easier time.

also remember, that sleeping thru the night means 5 hours straight. so when you read things talking about sleeping thru the night, they are only talking 5 hours. it is going to be tough, but around 4 months, you will feel like an old pro. good luck

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T.T.

answers from Albany on

As a mother of three and grandmother of two I can you what works. When feeding your baby wiggle the bottle a little bit when he starts to fall asleep. just a slight movement of the nipple against his lips should stimulate him enough to keep sucking. Do this until he has finished the amount required. Let me know if this works I used it with all the kids. and have another grandchild another way!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Dear S.,

Try to use a damp warm washcloth when the baby is falling asleep on his face to wake him so he will drink more milk during the day. If you have to undress him and don't make him really warm and comfortable so he will stay awake during feedings. Unfortunately this is the way it is with newborns and a sleeping schedule will come eventually. Tell your boyfriend that he is going to have to help out because you are tired too (after all it's his baby too). When he gets home from work you go and take a nap so you can be prepared for the nighttime feedings. When you are sleep deprived you will become very tense and irritable so you have to try to get some rest. Does the baby like a pacifier? If not try to get him used to one sometimes they are not really hungry they just need to suck and the pacifier can do the trick. Make sure the pacifier you use is the same nipple as the bottle so he will take to it easier. I promise you it will get better. Do you have any other family members that can come to give you some rest until things get easier? Try not to get stressed and rest when the baby rests. Good luck!!

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