Sleeping Through the Night - Greer, SC

First and foremost I HIGHLY recommend the book "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. She tells you exactly how to get them to sleep through the night as well as many other things. You do indeed have to let them cry it out, but always with comforting them, etc. Are you letting him fall asleep on his own or do you put him to sleep? That is a big factor!

Hi! I hope your getting some sleep!!!! I have a 16 month old and we had to let him cry it out. Some people thought it was mean, but it worked. Every night he cried less and less until he was not crying any more. Now he even goes to sleep by himself! It took about a week and it worked. I read a book that helped out a lot. Hope it gets better for you!!!

I too have a 4 month old son. For the first few weeks I pretty much had to have him sleep with me because he was very much the comfort nurser and would fall asleep nursing and if he woke up and the breast wasn't there he would cry for me and the only way I could get him to fall back asleep was to let him nurse. I wasn't getting any sleep and when I realized that he wasn't hungry and just wanted comfort, my husband suggested that I let him "cry it out" so that I can get some rest. I did, and he cried for about 10-15 min. The next night he only cried for 5 min. Now he sleeps about 8 hours a night. (I'm one of the lucky ones) I also like to give him a bath to help relax him and that just really wears him out. I put him to sleep at night and he doesn't even cry anymore and pretty much falls right asleep. I hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions.

We let our kids "fuss it out" starting at 4 months. We started at 4 months because that's what the books say as an apporpriate age to start sleeping through the night. It took 3 nights each time. It was really tough for us but it worked. We'd let them fuss for 10-15 min. and then, go in pick the baby up long enough to calm him/her down and then lay him/her back down. We didn't say much just a quiet "shhhhhh". And then start the process all over again. This would go on for 2 hours the first night then about an hour or so the next night then about 1/2 the last night. From then on, our daughter always fussed herself to sleep...she got the point where she'd fuss for less than 5 minutes but fussed none-the- less. And our son (since then), has always gone right down and slept through the night. Most importantly though, is to set up a good night time routine. Do a lotion massage, read a book, use background noise...just do the same steps every night so your kiddo knows what to expect and you're not just throwing him into bed without some "decompression" time.

Most of our friends have used this technique as well and all agreed the average amount of time it took was about 3 days. Tough it out and you'll be well rested by the end of the week!
Good luck!

It is not selfish to want your son to sleep through the night, its smart. God knows moms often feel guilty enough! My daughters both slept through the night early...The eldest, formula fed, slept through right at 11 weeks, the youngest, breast fed, slept through at 12 weeks. By slept through, I mean from 11 to 7. By 5-6 months, they were sleeping from 8pm to 7am. So I am one of those non-existant moms...Everyone says that I am just lucky or it's their temperaments...but they have completely different temperaments and I worked at training them. I will tell you that it is supremely easier to listen to them cry for 20 minutes now(though still hard, especially if they're your first), than hours on end as they get older...and as for separation anxiety, my daughters are more assured of themselves and loving than the three kids I know slept with their parents at night until they were 3, one of them 8! I don't know how long it would take to train starting at four months...but physically your child should be able to sleep throught the night without eating at that age. Falling asleep is a learned behavior...if you provide props(ie rocking, pacifier, a bottle, hold me mommy) to get them to fall asleep...they will want that when they wake in the middle of the night. And they do wake up, even though we call it "sleeping through the night," everyone has sleep cycles where they are in a deep sleep and a lighter sleep. Some babies even cry out during a lighter sleep, but normally not for long. If they learn to comfort themselves when they first fall asleep, they will more easily be able to comfort themselves in the middle of the night. I never let mine cry more than 20 minutes when I first put them down...because at that age, within 20 minutes they are asleep if they are fed, clean, and tired. If your child is eating enough during the day (at least 5-6 times) then they are just looking for attention during the night...train them that night time is not the time for play. If they have a wet diaper, change it and put them back to bed. I'm sorry to go on so long...but in response to your question...by about a month, my daughters were able to fall asleep with only the minimal amount of crying...unless they were over-stimulated...if they had not had any naps that day, believe it or not, they were more difficult to get to sleep at night! My oldest, who is almost three, takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, my youngest who is now almost a year, takes a 2 hour in the morning, one in the afternoon with her sister and (sometimes) a one hour nap in the evening (4:30-5:30-ish). If you ask any doctor, they will tell you that the amount of sleep children get will directly affect how they behave and eventually school work, etc. Babies need to sleep at least 10-11 hours at night (not including naps). Like my mama always said, that's when they grow!
I hope you are able to understand this...I know I tend to run-on and I hope you are successful. Please feel free to ask any questions...Good Luck!

My son was born 11/29, so our kids are just about the same age. What helped my son the most is routine, routine, routine. We start out the day and pretty much 'wing it' most of the day but after 2pm I make sure that he has some kind of a nap anywhere between 2-4pm. At 5pm he has a jar of veggies and an oz or two of formula. Then we play for a while, every three days he has a bath at 6:45pm and by 7:30 he is in his crib with a 6oz bottle and is on his way to dreamland. It took about a week or so before he got into the swing of things but now it has been a month and right around 6:30pm he starts rubbing his eyes and gets whiney and I know that is his cue that he wants to go to bed. I have a cool mist humidfier in his room and alarm clock that is set on the public radio station that plays classical music. This "white noise" distracts him from the happenings outside of his room and if he needs more 'distraction' I pull out the big gun and turn on his Ocean Wonders Mobile, it has the light show thing that shines on the ceiling and has music... that always does the trick!
He wakes to eat around 1:30am I try to get the bottle ready and to him before he is fully awake, I give him another 6ozs and while he is eating I change his diaper and he sleeps until around 6:30am. I keep a night light in his room so that I don't have to turn on any lights and either not talk at all or softly whisper to him to keep things as low key as possible.

My husband and I give our 11 month old a bath every night. Then we lotion him and then a bottle. Then bed. We have been doing this since his umbilical cord fell off. He has slept through the night starting at 2 1/2 months old.

As far as crying it out goes, its important to only let him cry for 5 minutes at a time. But before that you should make sure all his needs are met. When you go it to calm him down don't automatically pick him up you can comfort him by rubbing his tummy or his head or both and whisper to him how much you love him. Then leave. Always make sure that his diaper is clean. Once he realizes that you are not gone he will calm down on his own.

One thing that is key is some kind of security that he needs. Our son has a stuffed dog that he loves. Its safe enough to leave in the crib. But he only gets it when he is in the crib. That will also stop the crying it out problem.

Hey M.,

Not to be Cpt. Bring me down, but if someone told you your son would be sleeping through the night a 4 months they lied. There are some people that swear it really happens, I've never personally met them it's always a friend of a friend. I think it's just an urban legend.

yes we let our son cry it out. now he is 1 y/o and will wake up maybe once every 6 weeks. Like htey say it takes 28 days of consistent behavior to break a habit.

Hi M.,

My boys had reflux and even with medication, as infants, they were never good sleepers. Also, some children don't require much sleep. My youngest had not required as much sleep as other kids his age, ever. At almost 4, he sleeps about 9 hours per 24 hour day. If he takes a nap (which he rarely does anymore) I have to take those hours off of his night's sleep. Otherwise, he'll be up at 3am and ready to go play.

When he was young, I tried the "cry it out" method. I decided to do it during a nap time. He screamed and cried and was hysterical for 3 hours. I went in every 5-10 minutes to soothe him, did everything I should have. Didn't work. The only thing we got out of it was a 9 month old who wouldn't even get into his crib. He'd hold on with a death grip and if I managed to get away, he'd climb out. A week later, we took the crib down. He has been in a toddler bed or a big boy bed since then. Not every method works for every child.

Good luck!!

Have you tried to give him a binki when he wakes? Does he spit up a lot during the day? And are you BF or formula feeding? If he spits up a lot it could be reflux. It gets worse when they lay down. And depending on how you are feeding him it could be something you are eating making him gassy if you are nursing or it could be the formula not agreeing with him. Different brands affect them differently. Enfamil made my daughter really gassy while Good start didn't for my son.

My sister went though this with her LO. She BF and gave the occosional bottle of formula but no matter what her DD was always fussy, strained to poop and what not. Her Ped suggested trying her on Soy while she pumped and dumped to see if she was lactose intolerant. She was a totally different child in almost 24 hrs after giving her Soy formula!! Her dad has a family history of lactose issues but his isn't very bad but we think the baby is affected by it.

I know it's frustrating when all we want is a good nights sleep and they can't tell us what is wrong. Just try some things till you find something that works. It's ok for him to fuss and cry for a while.

{{HUGS}}
S.

it could be night terrors (nightmares basicly) see if a comforting hold and back to bed helps. my daughter didnt sleep thru the night till she was three

this is controversial, my doctor said that untill my child was 8 or 9 months to not let them cry for more than half an hour to an hour. we never had this problem becouse she slept with us and i breast fed. if you are breast feeding dont expect more than 4 or 5 hours, if not all night for that age is really only 7-8 hours. so expect if they go down at 8pm they will be up at 3am. you best bet is do what you feel right, not all kids sleep through the night at that age.

Hi M.- My daughter is 8 months old and still doesn't always sleep through the night. I have been told to let her cry it out, but that just doesn't work for me. I have to be to work by 7:30 in the morning and having a baby scream for half an hour in the middle of the night just doesn't fit into my schedule. I do find that walking into her room and just patting her back or her butt does the trick of putting her back to sleep. She doesn't take a pacifier, but if your son does- probably just putting it back in would do the trick.

Does your child sleep with you?

Well, both of my children did sleep through the night without having to cry it out. Which, honestly, I am not sure it would have worked, as both my kids get VERY worked up when they cry- it actually takes a decent amount of time for them to settle down after crying hard!
but there are a few things that you did not tell us that may make a difference. First, how often is your baby eating during the day? he is four months, has he started solids? How many naps a day, and how long are they? How early is his bed time?
I think that sleep begats sleep. Both of my kids were sleeping 2 naps a day of 2-3 hour each plus 12 hours through the night at around this age. BUT they had a really regular routine- I adjusted my life/ schedule to make sure that they had plenty of sleep time. Also, I moved their bedtime EARLIER which sounds nuts, but it totally works!
Personally, I think kids get over tired, and then end up not sleeping as much as they need. I personally think that if you work hard on keeping naps sacred, and move bedtime earlier, that is a great first step. It will happen, I promise!

You might want to try giving him a warm bath. Sometimes that helps to relax a crying baby. Are you nursing or bottle feeding? Sometimes bottle feed babies get a little air in their tummies. How are his sleeping habits? Our baby is 11 weeks old and his last feeding is at about 1 AM. He will wake up again around 5 or 5:30 AM. He will nurse and go back to sleep around 6 or 6:30. He will wake up again around 8 or 8:30. He gets his bath then and I try to keep him awake until noon for his next feeding. That does not always happen. He has had some growth spirts already and has wanted to nurse every hour and a half some days during the day. After his noon feeding he will sleep for about 3 or four hours and will wake up hungry. He will nurse again at 5 or 5:30 and again around 8 or 8:30 PM. We are in bed by 9 and he usually will sleep until 12 or 12:30. Have you checked his gums? Could he be teething now? Our little guy is drooling alot and he may get some teeth in earlier than we would expect.

If you decide to use cry it out, don't use it until at least 6 months, ideally a year.

Four months old is still young. Most kids don't start sleeping through the night until closer to a year. Some (like mine) reach two years and still don't do it. It's normal. I don't think you can force a child into sleeping through the night. They will do so when they're ready. It sucks, but it's a part of motherhood. I've just adapted to having broken up sleep.

I would not let him cry it out at all. Not only it's a dated, unuseful method (it's only coincidental, when it works), but it's also cruel and shows how we take our ineptitude as parents on the kids. Completely wrong. I guess you have already thought about finding out if your son is having nightmares or separation anxiety? This last thing is usually the reason why, when their sleep becomes lighter during the night, they have back that consciousness of being alone in their bed. It's normal at an age when the children are more out there in the world, sperimenting it by themselves.Plus, remember that some children are just more needy than others or they are naturally inclined to crying. I agree with the Mom that said this is just motherhood, we take the good and the bad with it. Please don't be selfish (even if it's hard!) and try to figure this thing out. Both your son and you will benefit from this. Good luck.

I let my daughter cry it out starting at about 2 months. It took about 3 days. When she would wake up and cry, I would wait 5 minutes before I went in. And then I wouldn't pick her up. Just rub her back and let her know I was there. As soon as she calmed down, but before she fell back asleep, I would leave again. If she cried for more than 5 minutes, I would do it again. Once she figured out I wasn't going to pick her up, she gave it up and went to sleep. Eventually she figured out that if she waited 5 minutes, I would come back. When that happend, I moved it to 10 minutes. She is 18 months old, and has slept through the night every night since she was 2 months. Good luck!!!