My 25 months old will not sleep through the night in her room. Periodically we enjoy a night of uninterrupted sleep, but usually she will come in to us at least once each night. We have tried the safe place in our room as another Mama suggested, but that has turned into the same issue we had with her as a newborn...waking us up with every grunt and moan; and she eventually ends up in our bed in the early morning because we are too tired to send her away. We don't like the idea of locking her in her room as she is not an animal and should not be caged. But any advice to help her sleep in her own bed every night would be appreciated.
We did the special bed section for a while, but it turned into a nightly habit for her to end up there and Daddy was tiptoeing around in the morning when he would get ready for work. Here is what kept her in bed...we would get up when she came into our room and take her back to her bed. Give good lovings and she falls back asleep and stays in bed until morning. This did take about 2 weeks to get her used to staying when we took her back to bed, but it is worth it to get a good night's sleep. Now she only comes in when she has bad dreams; but she doesn't stay, just gets comforts on the way back to her bed.
I haven't been there yet, but I think this book would be an awesome help!
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071444912.php
As a parent educator I deal with this all the time. The solution, I call the modified Ferber or Super Nanny Approach, and no one likes it, is to replace the bedtime ritual with something else, and most of the time that involves needing to listen to crying and silently taking the child back to her bed over, and over, and over, and over again for a few nights! You will not be abandoning her by doing what I’m suggesting.
T. Berry Brazelton, America's favorite pediatrician, has studied sleep cycles in infants for many years. He says the way you put a child to sleep at night dictates what a child expects when he wakes in the middle of the night.
I don't believe in making children suffer, but I also believe, in most cases, what looks and feels like suffering is a child's *extreme* attempt to try to make things go back to the way it has always been, to what the child has come to understand is *normal* in my house.
At bedtime do everything the normal way you always have, she goes into her bed not yours. Be prepared for crying and getting out of bed, in fact, count on it.
By counting on the fact that this will happen you’ve prepared yourself emotionally before you begin, and your feelings won't stop you or surprise you.
Watch Super Nanny on Wednesday’s at 8 or 9 pm, most weeks she shows parents how all of this goes. In case Super Nanny’s bedtime routine isn’t on this week let me break it down for you.
The first time your child gets out of her bed you simply say, “it’s time for bed.” AND say nothing else at all as you walk her back to her bed. There will be lots of fussing and doing what ever she thinks will work to get you to change your mind.
Do the exact same thing the second time.
The third time, say nothing and just take her back to bed. Ignore all the pleas and cries for you. Only go to her when she is out of her room and take her back to bed.
This is a silent repetition process. Preschoolers need repetition in order to learn. You may be at this for 1-2 hours the first night, or less. Then the second night the amount of time needed to get her to stay in her bed will drop down dramatically and by the third night she should pretty much fall right to sleep.
By repeating the same thing again and again you’re replacing the old ritual with a new ritual. Remember you’ll be undoing 2 years of learned behavior. AND you are teaching her how to self-soothe and get her self to sleep which is a skill all children must learn.
Good luck, The Mommie Mentor, www.proactiveparenting.net (notice .net)
Go to your library and pick up "the no cry sleep solution"
When she comes in your room, put her right into bed, right away. Stay 100% consistent and it will help. when you put her to bed at night, let her know that she will need to stay in bed and that if she gets up you will be putting her right to bed. then do it. That has worked with my children. I always struggle with being consistent but when I do it makes a world of difference. Good luck!
R.--If you do not like the idea of locking in her room--i.e. with the door shut and locked, you may consider a child gate at the door. It still affords the idea of the door being wide open for her, with the peace of mind of keeping her in her own space. My husband and I decided to do this with my 2 1/2 year old, as more of a saftey precaution than anything, so she was not wandering the house and injuring herself in any way, but it also made the transtion into a toddler bed a much easier and shorter process for us.
You might want to seek some assistance in getting your little one to sleep thru the night by contacting Life Sculpting. They have a class called Sleeping Thru the Night and Other Conundrums which focuses on the situations that baffle parents with children when it comes to sleeping through the night. Check out their website at www.lifesculpting.biz. The class is held every month- in July it's July 12th at Noon.
Good luck.
Try a CD player with soft music. We ended up locking my son in his room, for his safety, and now we don't even have to shut the door after about 4 months. I hated the idea of my child running around the house while I was sleeping and not knowing what was going on.
Hi R.,
I agree with Jaimee. Also try a night light, if you haven't already. It worked for my 2 girls. My 2yr old would not stay in her room at first but as soon as we left her door open and a night light in the hall way she stayed in her bed. I couldn't believe it! Hope this helps!
K.
