Sleepovers & Playdates at Someone's House ~

I see no problem with sleepovers at an older age (say, 8 and above) as long as I know the other parents pretty well. I think it's a fun experience for a child plus an opportunity to try out staying away from home for a night.

I did numerous sleepovers as a kid and they were generally a lot of fun. That said, I did sleep over once at a friend's house where, in retrospect, I'm certain the father was an alcoholic and I also believe there was a pretty good chance he was molesting his daughters (due to some of their behavior. Red flags all over the place, now that I think back). Nothing happened the night I stayed there but I definitely got a bad vibe off the guy. I wonder if I mentioned something to my parents because I never stayed over there again. The girls moved away a year or two later and I often wonder what became of them. I'm going to have to quiz my Mom on this one over Thanksgiving.

Don't let your fears overrun your child's life. She is old enough to go to a sleepover. I always prefered the type of sleepovers that had several girls. Why not host a sleepover so you can become more familar with your daughter's friends?

As for sleepovers, our kids have stayed at my Aunts (she has two kids my kids age)...grandma and grandpas, and my SILs house.

A few weeks ago we went backyard camping for Girl Scouts...we had five moms each in their own tent, those tents surrounded the girls HUGE tent...

That is about all I think my 6 year is ready for...and my three yr old unless is one of the above (except GS) is not spending the night anywhere...he's a momma's boy!

I agree with JO...pedophiles don't pick the outgoing kids who talk about everything, they pick the quiet ones.

Would you invite girls to your home for sleepovers? That is the question. If you are willing to do that, then be willing to accept the invitations of others.

We invited friends over for sleepovers, especially birthday parties.. I usually know these girls and their parents pretty well. Our daughter attended all of our neighborhood schools, so it was not like I was sending her away with strangers across town when I did allow her to attend.

You have to follow your heart and brain. If you get a shifty feeling do not allow it.. If it is a really good friend and the parents are acceptable I can not see having our daughter miss out on the fun.

I made sure the parents knew me, had met my husband. I was very open about our rules..

You are a great mom. Yes, Only if I knew the parents and were friends with them. these days you can't trust anyone you don't know well enough. How old are the siblings? Any uncles? Who visits and stays at the house? Is the mom married? Stable relationship? Boyfriends? Domestic violence? Gun in the house? prescribed serious medicine? The list goes on and on....

Bad idea. I say so for the reasons you list, but also, when kids get older, they are an opportunity for a whole different set of headaches, including unchaperoned access to boys and the hijinx that comes with that. I just think sleepovers are a dumb idea. Kids getting enough bonding time at school, and hanging out during the day. No need for the slumber parties...they add nothing to their development, social life, or life experience. They can and do shave off years of the adult in charge's life, and rob you of sleep and peace...and when they're older money trying to keep them fed and out of trouble.

I've allowed my DD, 3, to have a playdate without me at a neighbor's house where I knew the family well and the mom is a pediatrician. But that and the friend who babysits for me are the only 2 so far.

If your DD has food allergies, then you need to inform her of them and teach her. Even my 3 yr old can say, "I can't have apples. They make me sick." and I show her how I read ingredients to make sure there's no apples in the product. I think that you need to teach your daughter so she can feel confident about her own health and life. My DD's little friends have all sorts of different needs and while I learn who can't have milk and who keeps kosher, the kids also need to be proactive in their own lives. Try leaving her with someone you know well who won't give her foods she can't have as a start. I bet she does great.

We can't bubble wrap our kids. When my SD was young, there was a pervert molesting girls right behind clothes racks in department stores. They were in the 7-10 age range. We reminded SD to scream, bite, kick and seek help - and play acted with her. While we kept her close so she wasn't off in the store by herself, it would also do harm, IMO, to make her so fearful she didn't want to do anything alone. Find a balance between your own fears and what's beneficial to your child. I don't recall when SD's first sleepover was - probably by the time she was 7 or 8. In the 8-11 range, sleepovers are common birthday parties. I wouldn't let my DD have a sleepover at a stranger's house (I'm amazed how many parents just drop their kids and don't even talk to you) anytime soon, but her best pal or her cousin? Probably in a couple of years.

My girls are also very social and SD would do things like run off and pet someone's dog. She got read the riot act for that and had to either leave the park or sit right by one of us as a consequence. If they want to pet a dog, they need to ask us, not just go off. But she's a fun, mostly happy teenager now and hasn't come to any harm.

I would have to know the family very, very, VERY well-and be comfortable w/ them.
Otherwise, no.
My DD is very social w/ other kids. Adults...she is very shy around but she seeks their individual attention like a flower seeks sun (for ex.: her swim teacher). I find this a particularly bad combination.

My husband and I have decided to make a general rule. No Sleepovers. Yes, maybe they won't like us much, but hey, we're not here to be their friends right? Keeping them safe in that regard is worth it to us. The benefits outweigh the attitude. And although clearly, there are certain situations/families that you truly trust, if you say yes to one than you get into a battle for another.

Also, here is another good way to talk to children regarding safety. Calling private parts the bathing suit zone and instead of good touch/bad (because unfortunately it does feel good sometimes) real love and fake love.

We don't do sleepovers unless it is a group one and I am there personally helping(scouts or church). My child knows, but most victims never say a word. I won't risk it.

I think sleepovers are much less popular now than when I was a kid. My 9 yr old daughter has never been invited to one, and I'm glad, because my answer would be NO. Most of the moms I know feel the same way. You just can't trust people nowadays. Sleepovers are just stupid anyway. Nobody gets much sleep and you end up with tired, cranky kids the next day(s). No thanks! A good alternative is a 1/2 sleepover. Your kid's friends show up in their pj's, and they have pizza, popcorn and watch a movie. The friends then get picked up at about 9:00 or 10:00.

You are doing just fine! I will only allow my kids playdates at people's homes that I completely trust and KNOW that they will take care of my child just like family and the best treatment possible. I am VERY selective about where my kids play and we haven't done sleepovers yet-- I am not ready and neither are they.

My son is 5 and he does both.. He is a social butterfly as well~ He will only sleep at 2 of his friends houses though. I'm friends with both of the moms.
In the beginning, I go to playdates with him. Once I know the mom, I will then allow him to go without me... We swap out kids.. I take them one day and she'll take them another day. works out quite nice.. I DO know the mom or mom/dad though....

I didn't allow my kids to go to sleepovers until last year and they were 11, dtr and 8 son. I didn't have any problem with my dtrs stay except they said they were "staying home" and when I called her later in the evening she said they had gone to the mall...WTH???!!!! And my sons experience was worse. He stayed over at his classmates house for his bday, the kid had 3 older brothers. Apparently all the brothers picked on my son, showed him half nude posters in his dads office and although the mom told me the boys would sleep on the floor in the family room, somehow they ended up sleeping the the boys BED all night. My son said nothing happened but overall was upset and I told BOTH kids they were not going to anymore sleepovers until they are several years older and we have cell phones for them. I'm planning on having the "party" house so everyone wants to come here since I can't trust any other parents to do what I ask or do what I feel is best for my kids.

We don't allow our kids to go on sleepovers either and our kids are ages 9, 10, 11 and 13. We've also never let our kids have a sleepover at our house either.

On a rare occasion we have let our kids go on play dates, but it has been few and far between unless it is in a public setting like a park or something.

Good luck!