Hi T..
I have a lot of suggestions, as we've been through very similar with our son. He's now 6 1/2. He started school on time, but he had a difficult year in Kindergarten. His speech therapist was great, but his teacher was often frustrated with him. We eventually took him to the Vanderbilt Clinic in Nashville, TN, where they told us he has a mixed/receptive language disorder, and they assured us he'd be caught up in speech by the third grade.
In the meantime, we're fortunate that he taught himself how to read by age three. Reading seems to be the way he learned to communicate with us. He reads at a third grade level. He's also very proficient on the computer. Lots of programs helped him learn to read. Few helped with the speech, except Team Up With Teamo. If your son likes computers, that's a good program. It's a friendly computer face who encourages your child to speak. You set it up with a microphone so he can hear his words played back. It also builds up vocabulary, which is a big need for late talkers.
Our son had a lot of trouble with potty training AND W questions. Not sure how they're related. I know one day he just took over his potty needs, without me having to ask, and he never wet the bed, always does a great job. I guess he has to do things perfectly.
With the W questions, those are still a little difficult for him. He will ask me a question, and I will correct the W word he meant. Such as, "What is Dad?"
"Where is Dad?"
"Yeah, where is dad?"
We read a lot. I have sought out very patient friends and their kids to spend time with. People who won't put the pressure on for a quick response. People who give him a chance to think about what he wants to say. That's made a big difference with his confidence.
He's doing great. Considering he was misdiagnosed with Autism two years ago, the boy we have today is a slow talker in social settings, and it still takes him awhile to process what he's just heard, but he was undeniably the top of his class at Kindergarten in academics, which helped reassure skeptics that he understands a lot more than his speech suggests. We're also very grateful for his fantastic speech therapist, who was always coming up with ways to help him. For instance, she would take him on days he wasn't normally scheduled for speech, and she would have him read to the rest of the group. Had him be her little assistant, in other words, which made him feel proud. She built up the trust with him that he needs before taking risks with speech. If he feels he's going to disappoint someone, he will stay quiet. If someone makes him feel slow, he'll avoid them.
Our son loves putting on skits and plays. The Vanderbilt clinic recommended we get him into theatre at age seven. He can read and memorize, and acting is perfect for his strengths.
I could go on and on, but wanted to offer some support. I'll think of more of what's worked for us if you want to write me:
____@____.com
He starts first grade this fall. We're excited for the first time ever. His new school will be very helpful in giving him the support he needs, and they've been great at encouraging his strengths. We already know he likes riding the bus, and he's made friends in the neighborhood who will look out for him the first few critical days of learning his routine.
I've decided to give him a lot more responsibilities this summer, and he's really taken to being treated like a big kid. It helps him stay focused. Lots of times he's in a dreamy state, acting out things in his head, but giving him a job to do brings him back to earth. He still gets plenty of imagination time, but the one-to-one that we spend together makes a big difference with his communication. If I really focus on speaking to him, asking him questions, answering, explaining what's going on...he stays engaged and seems like a completely caught up speaker.
It's been quite a ride. But a great one.
Good luck, and I hope to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Ange