Slumber Parties

Perhaps he doesn't have to be there all night. What if you pick him up at 10:30? I didn't let my kids attend sleepovers until the end of 4th grade. Just my preference and I didn't care that everyone else was letting their do sleepovers since 1st grade. I'm raising my children, not everyone else.

Updated

Perhaps he doesn't have to be there all night. What if you pick him up at 10:30? I didn't let my kids attend sleepovers until the end of 4th grade. Just my preference and I didn't care that everyone else was letting their do sleepovers since 1st grade. I'm raising my children, not everyone else.

I say let him go. He will have a great time. You know his friends and once you drop him off and meet the parents (face to face -talking) Im sure it will put your mind to ease. It is hard when you dont really know the parents, but from what you said, sounds like the kid is good and the parents are are responsible and I think everything will be fine!

Hi T.,
Growing up, I remember my parents would always stay for a long time (30 minutes or more) when dropping me off for a party where they didn't know the parent, and talk to them.

Not to give them the third-degree, but definitely to get a "feel" for the parents, home environment, and how they were going to monitor how the kids interact/behave. Also to meet older/younger siblings.

If you are sitting around talking about the Superbowl, and the parents seem oblivious to fighting, tantrums, or just look like they want to "space out" in front of the TV instead of watching the kids, you'll be able to pick up on that.

If you get a really bad vibe, or they do or say something out of line to you (people can only "fake it" for so long, especially in their own home), you can let them know you'll be calling to check on your son; or that you'll be back before bedtime to pick him up... Or just take him home right away (hey, this is your kid, right?)

Chances are, everything will be cool, and your son will have a great time; and *you* will have made some new friends :)

T

We let our son have a sleepover birthday party for his 8th birthday and we did invite a couple of boys who we had only known for a few months (had recently joined the same church). I wasn't even aware of the anxiety this must have caused for the parents. One of the boys had not even been in our home at all. His mother talked with other parents and even the preacher. I'm glad she made the decision to allow her son to come. He and my son have been very good friends for years now.
One M. suggested you pick up your son at 10:30, which I think is a great option, however our sleepovers still had a 10pm bedtime until the teen years--who wants a housefull of cranky kids the next morning?

Call these parents and see if you can meet them at their home, explain that your son would like to go to the sleep over but that for your piece of mind you would like to meet them. If they are good and caring parents they will understand this request from you.

I just wouldn't, unless I knew the whole family VERY well. You can never be too careful here.

Let him go to the "party" part and pick him p before the sleepover part.

Our daughter went to her first sleep over the summer after 1st grade and she did great.

The first thing I did was got a feel from her that she really wanted to go. She did...

I did not really know the parents very well, so I asked around.. I heard great reports.

I then asked the parents if they would like some help as the kids arrived, or if I could pick up things for the party. They were so excited and did take me up on the offer. I felt like they were so welcoming and open they would be fine..
I noticed some of the other girls went to the party, but left around 10:00 because they had Sunday School the next day.

It is strange leaving your child with people you do not know well, but follow your mommy heart and brain.. it will guide you.

When my daughter was 7 she was too young. What I did let her do is stay until 10:00 and than I picked her up. So she got to hang with all the kiddos but just wasnt there for the sleeping part. She had no problem with me picking her up. She is 11 now and I am still picky with who I let her stay with. You just can't ever be sure.

Our rule of thumb is that the kids need to have 2 play days at our house and 2 play days at the friend's house before we allow a sleepover. This helps us all get to know each other and understand the good and bad before an overnight commitment. It has worked out well so far.

Personally I wouldn't. You don't know the family and your son will be there all night. Seems you have some hesitation so act on that instinct to say no. Think of something else fun for you and your son to do on that night. You have to be diligent about where and who your kids are around. Not saying that those parents are bad but you don't know that.