Small Pet Care & Consequences

Updated on November 03, 2011
M.R. asks from Edmonds, WA
12 answers

OK Mama's.....bring it on....be honest but nice.

My 2 youngest kids, ages 4th & 7th graders, have pet chinchillas, who share a cage....and they share the care of these little guys.

Today I walked in to pop in an apple core, and noticed that the water bottle is empty. This is the 2nd time I have found the water bottle empty, since this summer. Otherwise, they are very good about sweeping the floor, changing the bedding, feeding, treat schedule, bath schedule, etc.

Part of me wants to be really stern....that's it, they are going. We cannot treat small, dependent critters like this...but that is very reactionary. As the parents, we are to teach and role model.

What consequences would you recommend?

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

I wouldn't get rid of the pets or "punish" them. But I might try an empathy building exercise. Have a nice discussion about it and do something like having them go without drinking anything from after school until after dinner so they can see how uncomfortable it is!

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M.!.

answers from Phoenix on

No one is perfect and since adults forget things too. Since this is only the second time since this summer, I would simply remind them that they forgot to give them water. Then talk with them about how important it is to make sure their pets are always taken care of.
IMO...getting rid of their pets would be over reacting, they are still only kids.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

idk, i can totally see where you're irritated, HOWEVER, i feel that as parents, we should NEVER allow our children to have pets unless we are planning to bear the ultimate responsibility of the critters basic needs. so, it doesn't sound like you are even almost leaning in that direction, but please don't allow the animals to suffer and not fill up the water bottle yourself if that is the only option available at the time(like the kids are not at home to do it).

twice in several months is really not that frequent, it's not like you're finding the water bottle empty every morning, however, twice in several months is probably twice too many for the thirsty little critters :( your kids are not babies, i'd sit them down and lay out the consequences. next time i find the water bottle empty, this is what's going to happen: the pets are gone, you each owe me $5 for giving them water, you have to do extra chores, whatever consequence it is that YOU feel is appropriate and will actually follow through with. beyond that, maybe try to integrate checking that animal's food/water situation into their daily routine. in the morning, one of them checks food/water when brushing teeth, in the evening, the other child is responsible for checking food/water levels.

sounds like you're working hard to teach your children responsibility and compassion when caring for animals - i applaud you for that!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with others that said they are kids who need reminders to do things. Maybe you could add it to their chore list or make a little chart for feeding and watering, changing the cage, making sure they get enough attention etc... and they can take turns. They probably don't have to fill the water that often and they just forgot to check it. Remind them that every time they feed them or change their cage they should look to see if the water is clean and filled.

I wouldn't get rid of their pets unless they are truly neglecting them and they really deserve a new home. They sounds like good kids who slipped up on this one thing.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Well these are children.
We had chinchillas this summer. MY 16 yo was in charge, she did a pretty good job, but I did have to remind her a few times. She is still a child and like the other moms said, unitl she is on her own, in her own apartment, all pet care still resides with me. These were the school's chins.
We also have three dogs and three cats. If I do not say today is Wednesday, A has cat duty, the cats would not be fed or the litter woud not be scooped unless I did it.
Will I get rid if the animals, no. Ultimately they are my responsibility.
By helping the girls remember to feed the chins they will learn what is entailed in caring for these creatures.
Set up a chore chart and remind them daily. When they have their own families they will do the same to your grandkids.

At this time we are keeping a garden snail, UNcle Pete. The kids brought him in so now I remind them to make sure he has water and lettuce. We kept a praying mantis for 4 months, a toad for maybe 2 days. The snail will go back to the garden probably tomorrow.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

What Jo said. As adults we all deep down know that any pet we buy (no matter how much the kid begged) is our responsibility. I wouldn't expect a 7th grader to take care of a baby (or even a 4th grader) and I won't expect my son to take exclusive care of a pet until he is on his own. Of course, having some responsibility is a great thing but it is our job to look out for the pets.

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✤.J.

answers from Dover on

I haven't come up with anything that works for this one yet so I'm interested to hear what responses you get for sure!

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My take on pets is the children are too young to buy them on their own they are also too young to be responsible for them on their own. In other words the buck stops with me, I bought the pet. If they forgot to feed the cat I feed the cat. I check to make sure the cat has water. If I realize the litter box needs cleaning guess who cleans it.

I do remind them they wanted the pet but lets face it, I brought the animal into the home just like anything else the kids nagged me for.

Oh so to answer the question the only consequences is being reminded that it is a living creature dependent on us humans and they promised they would take care of it. Beyond that I always knew it would be my pet.

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I have found that making pet care a habit is helpful - in other words, if you do something at the same time every day, then you never forget. Like brushing your teeth, or making your bed. My kids check on our cats' food and water right before our dinner time, and then they wash their hands, set the table, etc. They can't sit down to eat if the cats aren't fed. This seems to make sense to them, also, because at that time of day my kids are hungry and thirsty themselves, so they can empathize with how the cats will feel if nobody feeds them! (My kids are in 2nd and 4th grade, and they do still require reminders, even though we do this at the same time every day.)

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

You might want to point it out to them one last time, and let them know that if you catch it again, there will be a consequence at that point, since they've been good about everything else. Let them know that if you have to do their work, you will "charge" them for your services and it will cost them X amount of money out of their allowances. If they have a list of daily chores that they are supposed to complete, put it on the check list so it's harder for them to "forget" - dry-erase boards are great for this.

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E.H.

answers from Orlando on

I agree with Jennifer. You got them the pets, they are ultimately your responsibility. What to do: Ask them to care for their pets. This isn't a case where if they don't do it, it doesn't get done though. You have to do it yourself. Punishment? No, because pets are part of the family and ultimately, you are the parent. If you punish them, they could end up resenting the pet.

So, you deal with the pets when they don't. If they are normally good about it, be grateful! Be very grateful. Looks like you were close to being right about their level of responsibility they would good with.

If I get my daughter a pet, I know that ultimately the responsibility lies with me. Instead of punishing them, perhaps ask them to pick a day, each, where you do the care.

You said it best at the end: Be a role model. Demonstrate how to love and care for the family pets.

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M.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had this issue with our guinea pigs, and decided the kids wouldnt get any juice or milk ALL day only water till the next day if they forgot. After twice with that idea they always make sure.. I think once they were late for some activities and they couldnt but that is forgivable.
In my case the kids brought the animals home from a friends, so it wasnt our choice until after a long family discussion and promises by my children to do all for it. I clean them, I play with them, I bathe and clip nails... the only thing the are responsible for is water, and I wont get rid of the piggies unless it is a bad habit or they refuse to do it. However now I am attached to them, much more say the cat and dog. So I wouldnt be able to give them up :)

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