Smoking While Pregnant

I think you need to back off. She knows the risk she is taking...leave it to her doctor to discuss the smoking issue. I am not a smoker, and I don't think what she is doing is right, but you can't force her to quit. She knows how you feel. I think it is best to just let it go and hope that she does quit and the baby is healthy.

I went to a conference and there was a lady there that was talking about a study they did with pregnant women that smoked and it included putting little cameras in their womb to record. They actually showed that when the mother starting smoking a cigarette that the baby would clench down and cut off it's own cord supply to try and stop the toxins from coming into itself. This really explains why they have a lower birth weight because all the time Mom is smoking they aren't getting nutrition or oxygen.
I also contribute smoking to the increased amount of little kids getting cancer. Cigarettes didn't used to be so full of chemicals and toxins like they are now and when you smoke your baby is being created out of your contaminated blood. You wouldn't go and sniff paint fumes all day long but you'll inhale all of these chemicals that are even worse.
Studies have shown that when babies are exposed to smoking in utero that the incidence of ADHD and asthma is also greatly increased. We have 2 boys that we adopted that were exposed to all kinds of things from their Mother, including smoking. They both have ADHD. Ask your sister if quitting smoking for 9 months is worth avoiding all the hell of kids that are bouncing off the walls and getting kicked out of school for bad behavior. I think it's a pretty good trade off.
Obviously if she isn't willing to quit smoking then she's a VERY selfish person who can't put her child's needs ahead of her own. I imagine that will continue...
I admire you for making such an effort to ensure the safety of you future niece or nephew. You're obviouly take the needs of children seriously. I wish there were more people like us out there :o)
Best Wishes,
J.

As a childbirth educator and doula I am well aware of the proven risks related to smoking during pregnancy. In fact, more and more issues come to light each year. I would be surprised if your sister was really aware of all the proven risks. Does she know, for instance, that moms who smoke during pregnacy are significantly more likely to have children who develop ADD/ADHD or even Conduct Disorder? Or that if all pregnant women stopped smoking while pregnant, there would be an estimated 10 percent reduction in infant deaths in this country?

She should be made aware that it is medically acceptable to enlist stop-smoking aids ("the patch" among others)to quit smoking while pregnant. Also, cutting back is shown to help for those who feel unable to quit.

One possible idea for you; I find that privately approaching the dad-to-be can be very helpful. Daddy's are natural protectors of their women and children! He will know the mom-to-be in an intimate way that may allow him to approach the subject with her more effectively. He can offer her his support on a daily basis. Also, being that this is his child, he is in a position with her to "have an opinion" more than you are.

Here are some links for you to check out and pass on!

http://health.discovery.com/centers/pregnancy/americanbab...

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9707/14/nfm.smoking.behavior/

http://www.chem-tox.com/pregnancy/smoking.htm

Good luck and don't give up!

Ish. We all know the risks involved in smoking while pregnant. In today's society, it should be common knowledge. This is a tough situation to be in.

She is going to be a parent, and we know that everyone parent's differently. However difficult for us to witness, people that are ignorant enough to make poor parenting decisions will not change their ways because someone told them to. They're usually too selfish. When she says she's not going to quit, what she's really saying is that she's too addicted to have the will power over her addiction and will choose the addiction over her own baby. That's what addicts do. The more you keep after her, the more tension you will create in your relationship with her. She will most likely dig her heals in to protest and the situation may get worse. Don't pester her. Say your peace, and leave it alone. Maybe society will give her enough dirty looks to make her quit. Smoking while pregnant is just selfish and unacceptable in today's society. That baby is going to be part of society and people do not want to witness an innocent baby being mis-treated...even an unborn one. She will get the wrath from everyone, I guarantee it.

I knew a pregnant cigarette/pot smoker/heavy drinker and none of the negative comments made by me or by strangers made a difference to her...she was even more blatant about it because she was pigheaded. Now, her 4 kids are slow and lacking in development, physically and mentally. She will always deny that it was probably her fault. What's worse, her kids have now become a drain on society requiring much needed state assistance and funding. Since I became a parent, I no longer associate with her, I choose not to witness her maltreatment.

I personally would distance myself from her so that I would not have to witness the blatant disregard for her baby's welfare. It's not your baby...unfortunately, you can't parent the world and she wil have to learn on her own. But, you don't have to watch. Once the baby is born, then love the baby, just distance yourself from the pregnancy part.

Society hates bad parents and she will feel the pressure, wether she makes the correct action is another issue.

Good luck.

Smoking used to be alot more acceptable and normal part of society and some did smoke while pregnant. I think in the last few years it's become more and more untolerable and less and less people smoke especially during pregnancy. If she smokes in public people will definately make snide remarks.

My pediatrician told me that if anyone in my family is a smoker they need to change shirts before holding my daughter. Ask your sister if she wants to change her shirt every times done smoking.

Ride her butt about this.... good for you caring because she obviously doesn't care. That is really selfish to do to your unborn baby.

Just wanted to send you more support. What a terrible situation. I'm very sorry.

I have zero tolerance for smoking now. ZERO. And I was a smoker until I got pregnant, totally unplanned. The second I even suspected I was pregnant I quit, cold turkey, and never thought twice about it. I was maybe two weeks pregnant at that point, and it was a VERY stressful time. But I didn't smoke again and I still haven't. And I LOVED smoking.

I just want to present one other angle that may be compelling to your sister: if she is not familiar with Corporate Tobacco Industry tactics she might come around if she understood the extent to which she's been targeted, manipulated and sold by a bunch of lying profiteers in suits. That angle of tobacco was really interesting to the rebel in me, the idea that I was just playing into their hands, that I was a pawn in a giant money-making cover up. I don't know. Maybe that would appeal to her as well... I saw the comedy Thank You For Smoking a while back, and it's not an expose or anything, but it does do an accurate portrayal of Big Tobacco and how it views its "services."

I personally would not back off. I don't know how I would handle myself, but I think it's too important to just drop it. I don't think we will ever arrive at a point where it's illegal to smoke while pregnant because we're too worried that that would erode grounds for pro-choice arguments. It's a messy subject, and it's too bad. People tend to think that the only damage that occurs from smoking is the damage we've tested for or can prove. We're not perfect scientists, and I have to believe more is occurring than the damage we already KNOW smoking does to unborn children. You know? If your sister is carrying a girl, all her eggs, your niece's entire genetic contribution to make her own children, all those eggs are being exposed as well. You think a study has EVER looked at that - the effects of smoking on DNA of future generations? Right.

It's just really a shame. How terribly selfish of her. I wish you the best.

This is a tough one. A lot of women think that it is okay to smoke while they are pregnant, and they don't even realize what it is really doing to the baby. Yeah lots of people have had healthy babies even while they smoked, but there is also a chance that the baby may not be alright either. With her smoking though there is a good chance that her baby will develop problems like asthma and stuff later on in life. I don't have any sites that I can share with you, but I however have a story that may help.. A friend of mine had her baby when she was 27 weeks pregnant due to the fact that she was smoking, which caused her to develop toxemia sooner then most women and she got it really bad so early. She almost lost her baby due to smoking. My Mom smoked while she was pregnant with me, and I now have asthma, and a learning disablity because of it. I was born healthy but because of the smoking I have a learning disablilty.. I hope that your sister stops smoking really soon...

I think you opinion is just that, your opinion.

Anything is dangerous, I smoked while pregnant not that I am proud, a risk is a risk is a risk. I carried both of my children full term, and they are both healthy strong boys...with no complications or developmental issues at all, no low birth weight.

I think if she were out drinking or doing drugs, I would probably be a little more on your side of doing some passive searches for websites to show her...but not for smoking.

I think you should just support her instead of giving her unsolicited advice.

You might know what is best for you, but your sister has to 'find' her own way in her own life.

I was told by my doctors (yes, more than one) during both pregnancies that if I were to quit cold turkey, I would do more harm than good. The levels of stress can affect the baby far worse.

I know you might not like it, but it isn't your decision. Your sister probably know more than you can imagine what smoking does to her in general...

the whole thing about quitting is you have to want to, you cannot quit because someone says to...you have to want to.

Hello S.,
Your sister could do everything exactly by the book, follow everything her doctor tells her and even advice from friends and family..the reality is that she could still have a baby thats not "perfect".

Smoking MAY cause low birth weight or SIDS or labor complications, developmental issues. Your also not suppose to drink caffiene or eat chocolate or change cat litter, or eat fish, or take baths...and so on and so on..
Do you do things that have a risk involved? Speed, not where your seat belt, drink alchohol?

Your sister knows the risks, smoking is not healthy. Support is the best thing you can do for her. Its not your body and its not your baby. Be excited for her and be supportive.

I smoked during my pregnacy, my child weighed 9lbs 11ounces. He is currently 5 years old with a 5th grade reading level and estimated IQ of 135-145. He has been cronically healthy, no colic or ear infections.

My mother smoked with me as well.

If it bothers you that much tell your sister not to smoke around you.
Hope this helps

smoking causes all kinds of problems...SIDS, cancer in babies, low birth weight etc...just google it and you will find all kinds of stuff...even if she quit while pregnant and then smoked in the house it is harmful: SIDS, allergies, early death for parent, etc...

Get together with the family and offer her some incentive like a spa weekend, a charm bracelett, whatever to encourage her to stop. Shocking, scaring and nagging might help too.

obviously your beliefs are not hers and despite how you feel it is her body and her baby. the only ones with the right to detest is her husband. You gave her good/solid info and that's all you can do besides being happy and supportive to her.Plus maybe she does want to quite but people lecturing will only make it tougher and make her more resentful. Don't ruin your relationship when she is right the baby will most likely be healthy ( God willing)and this is a time to be happy not preachy! by the way it DOESN'T make her a bad parent and those who cast that stone should be ashamed!
J.

Good luck with your cause. You can do a google search to get specific data to support your case. You are extremely correct about the smoking hurting the children. I know a couple who are smokers and both of their children have horrendous asthma from growing up in the their smoke filled house. None of the other children of either of their brothers and sisters have this affliction. At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do, unfortunately. Hopefully, she will feel differently once the child is born. Her prenatal doctor would also be speaking to her about the smoking, as that is a standard question they ask.

I don't mean to dismiss your concerns, but there have and will be millions and millions of babies born without any health concerns to smoking mothers. I and my 5 siblings are examples. Yes it would be wonderful if she would quit, but perhaps her addiction is too strong for her. Don't risk losing out on a good relationship with her and her child! At this time pray don't preach!

As someone who somked while pregnant I have to say that all the nagging and negitave remarks from family will NOT HELP !!!! She knows that it's bad and she knows the risks to herself and the baby. Remember that smoking is an addiction and it is really hard to quit while pregnant. Most of the "tools" used to quit like gum and patches you can not use while pregnant so her only option is to go cold turkey and that is really h*** o* her body (and mind). It would be best if she cut down and not in the house. If she can only smoke outside that will help her cut down because it is a pain in the butt to get your coat on and stand outside when it is this cold.

You need to offer her support and let her know that you are there to help her. If you keep nagging on her she will just go away and not want to be with you or your family. Ask her to talk to the DR about quiting or the best way to cut down. She knows that you don't approve, you don't need to keep telling her that. You need to focus on the baby as an addition to the family and how happy you are about that - good thoughts not bad ones.

By the way, I was a smoker through both of my pregancies. My first was a heathy 7 lb boy at 40 weeks. My second pregancy was with twins who are both heathly and were 5.9 and 6.7 at 38 weeks. I quit when the girls were 1 1/2 years old. My mom also smoked while pregant with me and until I was 10.

Good luck to you and your sister with this hard situation.

I agree with you, if you don't have to put your baby at risk - why do it?! A long time ago in high school I remember seeing a video of a baby in the womb while the mother was smoking. With each puff the baby struggled, kind of like it was having trouble getting enough oxygen. Even if it might not affect the baby long term, would you want your baby to be stressed out while trying to develop which is a big job and stressful enough? Good luck :)

Okay, I may get flamed for this one, but...

One person already mentioned that years ago it was more than acceptable to smoke while pregnant and had extremely healthy babies that grew up to be very healthy adults, etc. That said, there is a great deal of evidence that there is a greater risk to the baby if mom-to-be does smoke. It's everywhere you go -- smoking is BAD, not allowed anywhere!

I smoked through both pregnancies...I cut down a great deal from what I had been (one pack to 1/4-1/2 per day). I have one boy that rarely shows symptoms that are asthma-like and one that is healthy as a horse. Odd thing is that I smoked more with the latter. Go figure.

I had asked my doctor about it at the time and was told that it would have been best if I had quit before getting pregnant, but that a cold-turkey approach could stress the baby. I was also told that a mom's stress is very harmful to the baby...oftentimes more so than a cigarette or two. (Kinda' like a glass of wine is ok, but getting drunk is definitely not.)

I think telling her to ask her doctor about it and that you're concerned about it is the extent of where your responsibilities lie. If you badger her about it, you will cause her stress (bad for baby), probably make her smoke more because of the added stress or out of defiance (bad for baby), and eventually damage your relationship (bad for everyone). Bottom line is, it's her baby, it's her body, and it's her decision. You can support her without supporting her choices.

I know I wouldn't like someone on me every day telling me not to eat such-and-such because of this-or-that, raise my children this way because so-and-so says to, etc. I don't mind caring advice, but don't judge me if I don't agree or do what you suggest. Just because it's different, doesn't make it wrong, and who's to say who is right???

(Just an fyi, I don't smoke in the house or car and keep the smoke away from them as much as possible at all times. I don't change my shirt and I have my coat in the house. On another note, given all the chemicals most people use to clean and cook and drive, those fumes are probably just as bad for us. How do you keep all the other airborne toxins away from your children? What about the fabric softener used in the dryer, detergent used that doesn't get completely rinsed out, cleaning solution that got on your clothes? Sometimes, I wonder if some people aren't getting to the point of having to rinse off in a stream and only hold their babies when naked!)

Sorry for the rant, everyone, but sometimes people go off the deep end on what's politically correct, etc, and forget that we live in "the land of the free" which means living by our own choices and laws...not someone else's. I guess what I'm saying is, Live YOUR life...not someone else's.

What a tough position for you to be in! I don't envy you. It just sickens me when I see anyone doing something that could put a child, born or unborn, needlessly at risk. I was a smoker for 8 years, but quit before we started trying for our daughter. It didn't even occur to me to try for a baby while I was still smoking!

Unfortunately, all the nagging in the world won't get her to stop. I know this first-hand. My whole family, especially my older sister, constantly asked me to quit. You might want to go at it from a different angle with her. I would tell her that you'll be there for her to support her in any way if she decides to quit. However, I don't think it would be wrong of you at all to present information/literature to her to help sway her. She's not a complete stranger, she's your sister, so I don't think you'd be crossing any boundaries by doing that. Graphic pictures showing me what I was doing to my own body were some of the only things that ever used to even get me thinking about quitting.

As far as websites go, I found www.quitnet.com to be very helpful when I quit.

Good luck to you!

I quit cold turkey when I was trying to get pregnant after smoking for nearly 7 years (gak), so it can be done. I am not going to lie, it was hell but my healthy baby was worth it. She just needs tons and tons and tons of support. Her doctor can help her with this too. I agree with everyone, try not to guilt her or shame her, it won't do one bit of good. Nicotine is a really hard drug to quit, it's insane when your logic and intellect is telling you one thing and your body and mind are also begging for the drug. I am no expert by any means but you may want to research how you can support her and encourage her. When push came to shove, I had to do it on my own but I needed a support team behind me, she will need the same. Even cutting down will help.