So I Saw My Sons Future Sunday School Teacher Drinking....

Are you Muslim or Morman? If not, I don't see the problem. Drnk at a military ball is normal / appropriate. Drinking while teaching kids, definitely not... But teachers of all kinds (religious, secular, preschool, k12, college) DO have lives. They drink, have sex, fight with their mom over the phone, leave their socks on the bathroom floor...Everything every other normal person does.

I'm just confused why you'd want to involve authorities in an adult participating in an adult activity at an adult function?

Glass houses my dear. No one is perfect, this is his imperfection. Unless you want a world that holds non work activities against you at work let it go. If he shows up drunk to teach Sunday school then you have an issue. Right now you are just meddling where you don't belong.

I don't see the need to tattle. Everyone makes mistakes. I don't know anyone who hasnt gotten tipsy at least once. If he does not show up to Sunday school under the influence....there should be nothing to worry about.

Are you kidding? It was a party, and he wasn't on the clock. You need to get over it, plain and simple. You have no right to decide how he, or anyone else, spends their leisure time. If you observe him drunk at school, that's one thing. Otherwise, leave it alone. Have you never gotten drunk?

I am not only a christian, but a preschool teacher as well. I have, and will again ingest alcohol and too much on some occasions. I am completely sober and happy to be in class and am perfectly capable of taking care of children and they all love me and my sister!
Everyone has their "nights". Everyone has something that they do that someone would have a problem with. Having some drinks has nothing to with being a good christian.

Something tells me that you DONT dislike being a tattle. I can't even fathom going to someone in the church about this. Let it go. Your son is not in danger.

I think your typo is very fitting - YOU are drunk with WHINE... go back and read your Bible, mine talks a lot about not judging... this man has done nothing to cause you any concern for your child's safety.

Really? Do you judge much?

He was at a social event where it is perfectly normal to have drinks. People have lives outside of church and can still be good Christians.

I think your son is in more danger from your behavior of judging people.

I bet in his Sunday School class he is taught not to judge others.

You are actually going to try to take his VOLUNTEER position at Sunday School taken away for this. WOW.

SWH: I'm sorry but it is wine you refer to. Whine is what children (and some adults) do.

WOW! All I can say is how unfair and unkind for you to assume that becasue he was drunk or whatever that he is unfit to teach your son about the LORD. None of us are perfect, in fact, I am a little concerned with your quickness to judge him. What was so inappropriate about him drinking?

If your religion does not allow drinking, and he was drinking, that is between him and his faith.
He was not doing it on the job.
He was not working at that time.
He was at a military ball.
Some people drink.
He is an adult.

I don't see why this has to be reported to the school/Church?

I'll just add one more voice to the chorus ... move on. Adult function, adult activities, NONE of us are perfect. The only way I'd touch this one is if he showed up drunk to Sunday School. Otherwise, you sound like a busy body who could hurt this man's reputation over what seems to be at this point a one-time scenario.

Perfect much? I think in church we are taught not to judge. Clearly you missed that weekend. I believe it is your job as a parent to teach him his morals and the way to live, not someone he sees for a few hours a week. If it bothers you that much, find a different church. I do not believe causing a big up roar at your church for someones personal life is going to make it better.

I believe the Bible also says:

"Judge not, lest ye be judged."

Seriously, the fact that this man was drinking in public does not seem to me a reason why he can not be a fantastic Sunday School teacher. Unless your church preaches zero tolerance for drinking, let it be. And to your other point that it's one thing to be drunk in the privacy of your own home versus in public... NO IT ISN'T! If your faith says to never get drunk, that means never. So you have to decide whether you're holding this man to standards that you don't hold yourself. (ie - do you drink? If you do, then don't tattle. It's not Christian).

And if you continue to feel that this man is no longer capable of being a good role model for children in the classroom, you owe it to him -- according to the Bible -- to talk to him first. Respect him enough as a leader in your church to find out the real story. Perhaps it was the first time he had drunk more than one beer and had no idea how it would affect him. Perhaps he was also on cold medicine and didn't realize the interaction. Perhaps he stumbled. Or perhaps he really IS a drunk and needs help. Do the right thing and offer your love and compassion rather than your judgement and ill will.

"He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

Re your "so what happened"
Why on Earth would the children ask him about drinking?! How would that EVER come up in a Sunday school lesson?
And how many Christians follow every single law in the Bible, all the time, I mean come ON. Give the guy a break.
I really think this is YOUR problem. I suggest you pray on it and perhaps God can give you some kind of insight into why this bothers you so much. Is there alcoholism in your family or past, perhaps?

I rarely drink, so one night I had a few drinks, not paying attention and when I went to get up, I was CLEARLY drunk. I am prominent in our society, and with what I do for a living, someone cold have seen this and judged me by this one night.

Maybe he was having fun with friends....after all, it was a military ball. (I use to date a Marine.) Did he drive? Did he regret it in the am? Did is dad just die and needed a break from reality? Why don't you ask him? Don't be a nark and tattle. Be an adult and communicate with the man. Tell him that you saw him and voice for concerns in a respectful way. You only have your perspective...now, get his perspective. If you still aren't satisfied, then take your kid out of Sunday school.

There are plenty of people you know doing things like this behind closed doors and probably FAR worse, so that no one else will know.

PS I've been to Fort Riley. I'd drink too! LOL

Sorry, I don't see a reason to report this. I've devoutly Christian, but he was obviously at a social event for adults. He did not have children in his care. Do you act like a perfect role model for children when you are having fun with your adult friends? I know I don't always. I know that there's a higher standard for people who care for children- teachers, childcare givers, etc. So he probably shouldn't have gotten drunk. He made a mistake. Surely he won't be stumbling drunk around your kids. I'd let it go.

do you check out every teacher your child has and snoop around to see what they do on their time off?
khairete
S.

He was drinking at an adult function, not in front of children nor while at church I am sure. Do you really want to ruin his career/job just because he had a few to many at a function that did not revolve around church?
I am a sahm and baby sit my three nephews during the day, I have had nights that I will drink a little too much. Does that make me a bad mom and aunt? I dont think so......I would let it go unless you happen to see him in this state while at church......

wow really? I have nothing for this. If he was drinking in class on Sunday morning I think you have something to complain about. But really he was gasp at a ball? that would be a social event right? What business is it of yours if he has been drinking? Also how do you know he didn't trip over someones purse? the leg of the chair? the person sitting next to hims leg? So many reasons he could have stumbled. I think your way out of line. Just my thoughts. When I was a kid there was a teacher in our school who was out with her husband and had a drink. she had some kind of allergic reaction and was violently ill. but someone else saw her and thought she was drunk. she was fired because of a "well meaning person who didn't want their children in the care of someone who was publicly drunk" shame on them and shame on you. being taught not to be a drunk in public is the responsibility of the parent not the Sunday school teacher who teaches for 2 hours a week.

You shouldn't contact anyone. So he was drunk, at an adult function. I have been to a few military balls, drinking is normal there. His drinking at a social drinking event for adults does not mean he is going to show up to sunday school drunk! You are being really judgmental and in this case you should really mind your own business. If his drinking in a setting where it is normal and ok to drink bothers you that much, put your child in a different sunday school. but leave that man alone, he has done nothing wrong.

Wow -do you think he'll be drunk when he's teaching Sunday School? Doubtful! Everyone messes up sometime. No, he shouldn't have been stumbling drunk, but it's NOT your nosy business to ruin his life over one incident you saw! Doesn't your Christianity teach you forgiveness and not to judge first and foremost? "He (or she) who is without sin, cast the first stone..." and all of that? Are you perfect?

If he gets drunk on a youth trip or around the kids -THAT is your business. The rest of it is not, and if you say anything you're a busybody who can be happy she ruined someone's life. I'm sure that will help any drinking issues he may have! Chances are he doesn't have drinking issues, but since YOU don't drink, you think you need to mind anyone else's business who does. You actually sound like someone who LOVES tattling and stirring up trouble.

Have you seen him drunk at church, Sunday school, during the day? If not, then I would not tell. He was drunk one time at a ball that does not mean that this is typical behavior for him.

I'd hate to be on the receiving end of your judgment, regardless of what you & your church believes.

What you witnessed could possibly be a "one time event". What you witnessed is between the Youth Minister & his God. You were not put on this earth to judge this man's actions, nor is it within your rights to destroy his life/reputation/honor over what you witnessed. If his behavior affects his life, then his minister will know....well before you lobby against him.

In your SWH, you used a line "I am asking this question to believers, that understand the biblical stand point". I'm going to use another one: "God forgives all". This man will be forgiven for his sins....please don't create a situation where God has to forgive you for destroying this man's life.

My only recommendation would be....meet personally with the man. Tell him what you saw & how uncomfortable you feel. Make it direct & private. Don't be a snitch.....take it direct to the source & be honest in how it made you feel.

I wish you Peace. & this is about as nice as it's gets....:)

As long as he's not drunk in the classroom, on the job or drinking and driving, I don't think you need to worry.
Judge not lest you be judged!
(Nice pun by the way, being drunk with whine, but that would be you just a little bit rather than him being drunk with wine (or beer)).

Additional:
You might want to consider the concept of idolatry.
By putting ANYONE on a pedestal you make them an idol (hero worship).

There was an episode on MASH years ago where Hawkeye was drunk when he should not have been for surgery and Radar had appendicitis and was outraged his idol (Hawkeye) could have acted like that.
Hawkeye was like How dare you put this on me? I'm a human being in an impossible situation doing impossible job and I don't always cope with it as well as I should. I never asked you to worship me and I don't want you to.
Eventually they patched it up and Radar still liked him even though he now knew Hawkeye had feet of clay.

Yes, it's nice when adults and teachers can be good examples to children, but children need to realize none of us are perfect and at some point a parents desire to protect them from finding that out gets in the way of a childs emotional growth.

Save the worship for the altar and don't be building altars where they don't belong (around people).

Unless he is coming to church drunk and stumbling I don't see why you feel the need to be the "right" police.
My husband used to be a raging alcoholic and abused some pretty serious drugs about 11 years ago. Now, he is a great father, sober, and an awesome soccer coach. I would hope that no one would judge him on his past but in his present.
I am sure that there are PLENTY of people in your church who not only get drunk on the word of the Lord but also on some wine. You really have no business being in HIS business.
L.

If he is not giving alcohol to the children and is not drinking or drunk while teaching, what is the problem?

I think everyone is a sinner in some way, there would be no one teaching if we knew everyone's sins.

I think you need to give him a chance. Maybe pray about it. Before you tattle.

"There but for the grace of god go I,"
and
"Judge not lest ye be judged,"
and
"reason #23 I joined UU church"

peace :)

Have you ever seen this man act or behave inappropriate at church, under the influence there? That's where your concern should be, not at an adult function. He wasn't dancing on tables, fighting, being over the top. He was enjoying himself.
I think that it would be extreme to go to contact someone at the church about this. He is a human being, treat him like one and if it bothers you that bad talk to him.
You should re-read your post, if your not trying to get anyone in trouble then you should think about it from every angle and what the consequences would be.

my "biblical" standpoint? who are you to throw stones? when it comes down to it, if you are talking sin, a sin is a sin. if only perfect non-sinners were eligible to teach our children we'd have a world of pretty ignorant lost souls. what you know: he drank too much once. now if you knew this was a regular occurrence that would be different. as it is just keep your judgments to yourself. unless you think you are more "suitable" and are willing to take it on. and if you did: how would you answer the children's questions about judgment and ego? none of us is perfect. drop it and leave it alone.

I just want to point out that he did nothing illegal!

Are you sure he was drunk or that he could have just tripped. And that is being a tattle. It also says in bible Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if your going to quote bible verses

In the Bible it also tells us we are not to judge.

James 4:12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

He drank to much and got drunk. It is not an illegal act in our country but yes it in looked down upon in the Bible. Just because he got drunk doesn't mean he doesn't take his job at the church seriously or is a bad teacher/ influence to others. I'm sure he is going to teach your son and every child that walks through the door perfectly fine.

He was on "his" time not childrens/ church time. Im pretty sure that there have been millions of people who have been drunk at one time or another and that doesn't make them any less of a good person.

If he is a good man and a good teacher to children then you don't need to "tattle". Now if you find out he has a drinking problem and this wasn't a once in a great while bender then you need to bring up the issue, otherwise don't judge him based on something he did on his time... not your child's.

God gave up His only son to die on the cross for our sins. That includes him being drunk and you judging him.

It is solely God's responsibility to judge our sins. As a fellow parishioner, it is your job and responsibility to help him on his path to the Lord. You could approach the individual in question and extend a hand. Tell him you saw him at the military ball and were concerned for him. THAT is the Christian thing to do.

Don't talk to anyone else about what you saw. You don't know what his extenuating circumstances were, you don't know exactly how much he had to drink, what his blood alcohol level was, how much he had to eat earlier in the day. The list of things you don't know is so much longer than even the list of things you think you know. If you need to speak with your clergy about something, ask them to help you find grace for others in your heart.

I think that the time to address it was 2 months ago when it happened. The best course of action now would be to call him and talk to him about it.

As long as he's sober when he shows up to teach your son's class, what he does on his own time isn't your business.

Well, hmmmm, do you think that he will be drinking while caring for your child? I hardly think so. He was partying AT A PARTY, not at Sunday school.

Yes, my Faith also teaches that drunkeness is sinful, but we are all sinners of some type, are we not? I am NOT a big drinker--over-indulged only once in my life, but I know several good people who DO drink, sometimes to excess.

My older brother is one such person. He is 34 yrs old, a police officer, and a bachelor. He is VERY responsible, yet a few times a year when he is at a wedding or a similar type event, he DOES overdo it. He is not on duty. He is not a parent who might have to respond to the needs of his children. He's a guy who parties a little too hard from time to time. Would I entrust my children to him? Heck yes! I know that he knows the difference between partying and being a responsible caregiver.

I think it is very disturbing that you would put his JOB in jeopardy because you saw him partying at a party. Please do not say anything to anyone, as you have no reason to believe that his party behavior will carry over to a Sunday school classroom.

I am a Believer, so thanks for asking this question to a specific *group*. My personal belief is that you are overstepping your boundaries. You claim to be doing this not only for your son but for the other children. Well then where were you 2 months ago when this happened, you must not have been thinking about those children? I think you are going a bit overboard.

Out of respect for this Youth Pastor, go to him directly and let him know your concerns. If he is respectful & apologetic, then let it go. If he is arrogant or defensive then consider going to his Elder.

Personally I would completely let it go UNLESS I notice he is an alcoholic that has the shakes or is jittery or some other obvious signs of alcoholism.

I suppose it depends upon what denomination you belong to...
Did the guy drive himself home later on?

The denomination we are part of has no issues with consuming alcohol per se. That said, drunkenness (not alcohol itself) is a sin. And that said, there are none of us without sin.

So I think there needs to be more context before you go "tattling" (as you put it) to anybody. Was this a one-time or very rare occasion? Was this person celebrating something and went overboard? Was this person in the company of minors at the time, or responsible for others at the time? Does this person ROUTINELY do this, and "hides" it by putting on a different persona when in the company of church members?

There is a lot of information that might be relevant missing from your post. Including your denomination. If you are one of the denominations that holds that consuming ANY alcohol is a sin, then you are in quite a different scenario than someone who is in a denomination that doesn't hold that belief.

ETA after your SWH:
You asked: "How can he hold himself up to the high standards....?" Umm.. the same way any Christian does. They admit that they can't and don't. They are sinners. And we lean on Christ. We say, "don't look at me, look at Christ. I am baptized and my sin is covered by Christ's righteousness."

Lisa C. gave a well thought out response.

I think you need to look at your true motivations here. What are you after? You want your child to not be in this man's SS class b/c ..why? Because he isn't perfect? Umm... neither are you. Should you forego being his mother since because you sin you are therefore no longer a good moral example to him? Assuming--ASSUMING-- that you are correct and the man had a drink or two too many, why does that alone make him unacceptable to be your son's SS teacher? Did he endanger anyone by his actions? You don't mention it, if he did. Does he have an alcohol addiction that he is not seeking treatment for? You didn't mention it, nor do you seem to think that is the case b/c you didn't even allude to something like that. It seems to be all this.. "what if my son had seen it?" .... well, what if he had? Is your 7th or 8th grade son (I'm guessing age since you said "youth") not aware that people (even those held in high esteem in the church) are sinners? Why is it different to be drunk in the privacy of your own home, vs. in view of the public, if you are held in high esteem in the church? It is still sinful behavior. The only difference is that one person is "hiding" it and the other isn't. Reminds me of a guy in a garden a long time ago....

If you think that based upon this one incident (which may not even BE an incident, you don't really know, because he could have tripped, or been on medication that affected him also, or whatever), that he is unfit to be a moral example for your child, then you should talk to the man directly and see what he has to say.

Sounds to me like you are way over-thinking this. You still didn't mention your denomination. And I mention that again, because even though many denominations SAY that alcohol consumption is not a sin, they behave as if it is... as if a person is "more holy" for abstaining completely. As an LCMS Lutheran, we appreciate beer/wine as gifts of God, kinda like chocolate. Over-indulgence in anything is gluttony, and that's a sin, but would you behave this way if your son's future SS teacher had too many brownies?

I understand your concern and have a few thoughts of my own:

1.) He made a mistake publicly, doesn't mean he's a bad person or teacher.

2.) Have you talked to this man directly regarding your concerns? You need to give him the oppertunity to be repentive, maybe he already has repented to the Lord but doesn't realize that you also witnessed this action.

3.) We ALL SIN and stumble! Even you! You are with your kid 24/7 and still need to ask forgiveness from time to time, right?

4.) Anyone who is human is going to let you down and this man is no exception.

God Bless.

I believe Biblically that the order as per Matthew 18 is that you take it to him first with just the two of you. If he listens and it is resolved, great. If he doen't then you go with two or three people who will bear witness with you (others who know him and were at the party, your husband, and so on). If he listens and it is resolved, great. If he doesn't, then you take it to the church. I would go with the elders of the church or whoever is his leadership in the youth ministry. Use the church chain of command with the pastor being last in line.

I think it's important to note that, while his is in a position of leadership, he is still human and fallable. He may have repented and felt great remorse. You don't know. So, don't go with an attitude of condemnation. Go with an attitude of concern and love and a desire to right things. It will produce a much more welcome result.

I agree the Bible says to be not drunk with wine, it doesn't say all drink is wrong. But it doesn't matter what I believe, it matters what the doctrine of the church is and what he has agreed to live and teach. I have been in that situation, where I thought I was drinking slowly (like wine with dinner) and it wasn't until I stood up that I realized I had drunk more than I realized. It was an error in judgement, not a wayward heart or dishonest living. I love a drink but I HATE being drunk. I don't like how it feels, so I would never do it on purpose. Having said that, I have been drunk. You won't know what happened until you ask him and the fact is you have only seen him drinking one time. You don't know that it's habitual. You won't until you ask him.

I get that you want someone to lead your child who lives the way you want your child to live - which is not falling down drunk at a party.

I think that you would be correct to ask if there is someone else that can teach your son's sunday school class and to express your concerns.

I would also guess that this is not the normal behavior for your youth teacher - a military ball is a special event and he may have acted differently than he would in most other social situations. I think it would also be appropriate to address the behavior with the youth teacher. Depending on his reaction, a little forgiveness on your part would also be appropriate.

If it were me, I'd just keep a close eye on it. Unless I saw him drinking or acting drunk while at church, I would leave it alone. Drinking at a social event (when he is NOT working) is perfectly normal, so unless you see this happening frequently or believe it is directly affecting his church work, or that he's doing it at church, I would just leave it alone.

Matthew 7:1-6

Meh while I do not drink what this man does on his own time is his business. He is hurting himself not you. Also you have no idea what or why. Maybe he lost someone close. Maybe he got something to drink he didnt realize it had as much alchol in it because he is not a drinker. the bible also says do not judge les you be judged. If he is good with the kids then that is what counts. Its not like he is beating his own kids or his wife. Did he get behind the wheel of the car while drunk? He is human with human faults. Why should he be any better than you. And I'm Catholic and I go to church every sunday not just when I'm in the mood. Again do not judge les you be judged. Especially as it was one time and not something you see every week from him.

I dont think you should gossip about it..
I think you should have a conversation about your fears with this potential youth teacher. Tell him what you saw and how it made you feel uncomfortable. He may have an explanation that will either ease your fears or make you decide you don't want to give him the chance.
I would confront him before I brought it up to any of your other church members or elders.

My college roommate went to a Catholic college before coming to university. They would have parties out on the lawn and everyone would get drunk. Everyone.

A lot of churches do enforce a non-drinking rule/law when it comes to listing off what is a sin.

I recommend you set a meeting up with your pastor and ask for counsel on the subject of drinking/being drunk.

Do not go into detail, tell him that you observed a situation where a person was seen drinking XXX drinks and when they got up they stumbled, may have been drunk.

What does the pastor say about this. Is it an unforgivable sin, it is a punishable sin, can a person lose their job over this sin, all this information will help you decide what to do next.

I would like to know what this person teaches about drinking and if it is acceptable....what is he teaching his charges. What does the rule book for your religion teach about drinking at all....some churches have in their rule books that is acceptable to drink, some it is not allowed at all.

If it is not allowed at all then he has a serious issue because he could lose this job because of it.

I would think long and hard about what your pastor says. He may even say you should talk to the person. I think that he should help you deal with this issue and help you come to a better understanding of it.

I would talk to him directly and let him know how you feel about it. He is only human and we all over indulge once in a while (God does forgive us for these things). You are making an assumption that he is like this ALL the time and I am sure that is not the case.

Maybe it would be nice to talk to him yourself and tell him your concerns. Maybe he has a problem and would like someone to talk to. Good luck!

I would first pray about it, and then I would take a trusted Christian with me, such as your husband if he was also there and saw it and go to him to discuss what you observed. See what he says about it. Did he drive in that condition? I shudder to think what could happen if he did, and would not want my kids or anyone else's in a situation where they might be in a car driven by someone under the influence. The church should also know so they are not putting their congregation at risk. I would not tell a lot of others about it, most of the people who were at the ball saw the same thing you did. I have been to many military balls, and while there is drinking, most do not encourage drunkenness. You are right not to put your kids in his class.

What do you expect them to do? What is the intended outcome of this? I think you should have an intended outcome then play out the possible options and make a choice. It is not your job to judge his actions that night, but you can monitor the situation and become involved - then decide if he is a drunk or if he drank too much that night.

He is the Youth Minister, with responsibilities off-site with young folk. He will be your child's teacher. You are correct not to talk to other parishioners, as that would not be helpful, but rather gossip to be spread around. I also think you would be correct to speak to the priest/minister in private. Tell the priest/minister that you are bothered by what you saw, that you are giving him/her the information (report only what you saw) to consider. Then let him/her handle it. This may be a one-time, off-duty occurance and the priest/minister and youth minister could discuss the impression it leaves. Or the priest/minister may know of a series of concerns, which you would not be aware of, that together cause concerns that need to be addressed. Too often no one shares an observation with those in charge. And too often those concerns fester in our communities, to the detriment of our churches, children and the person of concern. Report your observations and then trust in your priest/minister to handle this. If you do not trust that, then you may need to seek a different place to worship.

.

Hi Mrs. S. I'm sorry people were so hard on you for asking your question. As a Christian, my guide is the Bible and my understanding is that I am to speak directly to someone who is doing wrong of offending me. If that is not "heard" or respected, I am to take a church elder with me (or someone else the "offender" would respect") and beseach him again to see what might be wrong with the behavior.

It's not about judging him as a person, but the action. And if he wants to teach Sunday School, he should think about "living" what he is teaching. You might wind up helping him to grow up some. Why does anyone need to drink enough to be tipsy or drunk?

Bless you and hope it all turns out well.

I understand why you have an issue. I would too. I have no issue with drinking, I have an issue with being drunk to the point that you can't walk straight.

I would contact the pastor and let him know that you're concerned and let him handle it.

I am a very active member of my church. I am the director of VBS, I volunteer for other activities at least once a month, I am involved with a Ministry that sponsers different activies through my church. That said, I also drink. I try not to ever get drunk because like you said, it is a sin to get drunk. We are all sinners. Maybe he didn't realize that he had too much to drink until after the fact. If it was just a one time thing and you don't see it happening again then I would just leave it alone. Especially since it wasn't at a church function. But even if you did see it happen again and it wasn't at a church function or out with the youth I would still probably leave it alone. Only if it effects your son or family directly would I mention it to the church. My guess is that if it was a military ball, there were no children around so who really cares if he was drunk if he got a ride home (if he drove then he is putting others at harm).

For me a big question would be did he drive himself home? Was he drinking responsibly (even if more than you think he should) or did he drive himself home and endanger others? I was on a "community coalition promoting healthy choices". One of their goals is to prevent underage drinking. But, I like to have a few beers. I like to sit outside in the sun and watch my kids play while I drink a beer. I had to do some soul searching to decide if I was right for this coalition. In the end I finally talked to them about it and they pointed out that it is perfectly legal for me to buy alcohol and consume alcohol. If I am not driving and endangering other people or breaking other laws, than what is really wrong with it? So, just because he drinks doesn't mean he thinks it's ok for minors to drink. Just because he drinks doesn't mean he throws all judgement out the window and drives himself and the girl he picked up home.

Whew! I'm sure you're going to get a lot of different feed back.
I guess it's a hard one bcuz he was on his own time but then he is a
Teacher at a church. One of two things; change teachers and/or talk to the teacher director & explain the situation. That's all u can do. Good luck!

Confront the teacher! Not in an unkind manner, but let him know that you're concerned about the example he may leave upon children in other matters, also. However, it you don't wish to do it that way tell the pastor about your concerns. Personally, I would be thinking of changing chuches rather than exposing my child to someone who doesn't seem to understand moderation!

Wine is okay, but being drunk and if he is a frequent drunk, you must talk to him about your expectation. When our priest helper had a problem with pornography, he was not allowed to serve until he is done with that. He is now back, and help the young teens to overcome pornography because he had been there so he knows. So, there is always 2 sides of everything. Just try to talk to him. Drunk seems not so bad as adultery or pornography, but it also deals with being obedient to God, Bible and how to have control on yourself. We condone the behavior but not the person, so dont be too hard on him when you want to talk it out. Sometimes it is really hard to fight temptation, just like people here buy coffee everyday( if we go extreme, for me it is an addiction as well :p) Good luck..

i would go to him and talk to him about what you saw and how you feel. if you aren't happy about his answers then go to the deacons or elders and let them know of your thoughts and feelings! this is your child and you only want what you would do in your home.

Hm. I know where you're coming from here. A person that is moved up to leadership in the church is held at higher standards because they are a leader. It's just the way it is. Not only in the "natural" sense of just behaving in a certain manner, but also I don't think a minister (even, or especially even if it's just a "youth teacher"). Ministry is ministry. Spiritually imparting into peoples' lives takes sacrifice and following a certain way that others may view as more "strict" but I agree with you.
That said, I do drink, socially. I never get drunk (haven't since I was about 23, though I was a very heavy drinker in my youth). But when I was a youth minister to teens at church, I didn't drink at all, except MAYBE I'd nurse a cocktail at an adult event. I probably wouldn't even notice. I don't judge people for having casual drinks, but I do agree that certain positions hold certain responsibility. Not because he's on a pedestal, but because it's the standards (for reasons those not in the church won't get). I wouldn't care (not even a little bit) if I saw my young sons' Sunday School teacher having a couple drinks at a military ball. It's an adult event and he can behave like an adult. HOWEVER if he was stumbling drunk, that is not (in my opinion) adult behavior, and I would take issue with that---yes, absolutely.
If you feel comfortable with it, I'd bring my husband along and have a private, calm conversation and just remind him that if he wants to carry position in the church, he is seen in public. That you want the spiritual leaders your children are under to be following certain spiritual principles, because a youth minister is STILL a minister! Children have needs and spiritual hunger as well, and it is an honor to be in that position. It might have been a hard night for him (for any number of reasons) and he just didn't know how to handle it. Or perhaps he was stumbling because he does NOT drink often at all. I wouldn't be angry or judgmental, but I do see your concern and understand that. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him (which is the way the Bible says to do it first), then it depends on how big your church is as to who to speak with: is there an associate pastor in charge of all the childrens' church stuff? If not, then an associate pastor. If it's a small church and those aren't in place, then make an appointment with the pastor and just voice your thoughts and concerns. It's the pastor's job to speak with the youth teacher and determine whether it's an issue or not. Do not tell just random people in the church. That is gossip.