I just started this site. My son is 19 months old. He literally lives off of milk, oatmeal, yogurt, Eggos and little snacks here and there. He won't drink any juice, he won't drink water unless it's in a water bottle, which most of the time he just spits and out and thinks it's a game. No meats. No fresh vegetables or fruit. I have tried EVERYTHING. Hiding meat and vegetables, hiding fruits inside things he does like. Family dinners with all eating the same thing. He would rather starve then try new things. Our doctor says its a parenting thing, but he has been picky since he could eat baby food. My son is fine on weight but he is in the 3% for height. he has been 21 pounds for awhile now though. Almost 2 and can wear 1 year old clothing. I think its affecting every aspect of his life. He doesn't sleep right, he doesn't nap or eat anything at daycare. Even his father and I fight over what to do. I am a new mom and really need some MOM advice. No more google searching. Please no criticism.
I'd have to agree. Have him evaluated for sensory issues and go from there. Best of luck...
You might need a new doctor as well. Can't believe he said that.
call your local childrens hospital. they have feeding specialist that can work with you.
If you have been trying to feed him tablefood for months and he is still refusing.. then you need professional help.
will he drink formula? if so.. try to get some formula in him..(or pediasure..or one of those types of drinks..) .. the things he eats do not give him all the nutrients he needs..
You are so much further ahead than both of my kiddos, I know exactly how you feel! First, take a deep breath, realize you are not alone! Many of us have been there, and the fact that you can do dairy is very fortunate. This does not sound behavioral, nor does it sound parental. This sounds exactly like a Sensory Processing Disorder. I went to a seminar last spring given by an OT who specializes in feeding, and there are so many (unknown to us) reasons why kids won't eat certain foods and the process to get them to can take a long time. Any pediatric OT who specializes in SPD can evaluate your son. Look at www.spdfoundation.net to find someone local to you. This is a great resource to use. I think you will find a lot of answers there and by checking out a book called The Out of Sync Child. This is the parent's guidebook to SPDs.
ETA: I just saw you were in Puyallup. I don't know if you would want to commute or not, but Sensory Kids is an OT office in North Portland that is owned by one of the first students of the founding members for the SPD foundation and has been directly trained by them. Also, check out Swindell's at Providence Portland. It is a resource library and they give free seminars almost monthly for parents of special kiddos and this is where I have learned so much! and it's free!
Sweetie, take my advice. Call your closest children's hospital and ask to talk to an OT who works with oral sensory problems. You need an assessment and evaluation for your son. There are children who have sensory problems with textures and oral defensiveness that RULE THEIR LIVES. I had a friend whose son was like this.
Your doc can say it's behavioral and a parenting issue, but unless you get what I'm talking about ruled out, you will be living with this for a long time.
If you are nowhere near a children's hospital, and your current doctor won't listen to you for a referral to someone who can work on this with you, I'd go find another ped and ask for a referral.
Step one, cut out any junk that you don't want him to eat. If he still won't eat anything even with lots of fruit and veggie choices and your sure he's hungry, I would take him to feeding therapy. It sounds like a sensory issue to me especially since it was an issue back when he first started eating.
Lisa is on the right track, he may have some sort of sensory issue that makes him dislike the texture of things. It sounds like he eats primarily very soft and foods. Things to try, scrambled eggs with or without cheese on top, a ripe banana, homemade custard (so you know what is in it).
Good luck.
He's going to go hungry if he doesn't get what he wants. He's not going to suddenly decide to eat what is in front of him. He wins...
SO what you do is keep trying. Don't make the meal about his choices. Take the pressure off. Let him have the food he likes.
He won't eat mac and cheese? if he did you could put a tiny bit of yellow veggie in it mushed up where it's not noticeable and where it doesn't change the color or texture.
He won't eat spaghetti? It's FULL of veggies. Tomatoes are a good food. The pasta has grains and isn't all that bad.
Find what foods he'll eat and work within that. Will he drink Carnation Instant Breakfast in his milk? It is full of vitamins and nutrients.
Can he do a vitamin?
I stopped pressuring my granddaughter and made life easier. She is healthy weight wise and hardly ever wants sweets. She won't eat 90% of what we have. Her brother eats everything we have and loves it.
Kids have some right to pick what they want to eat. How would you like it if someone else ordered your food every meal and it was food you didn't like or couldn't stand. You'd choose to stop eating and do without too.
I can't stand turnips and Brussels sprouts. If that's all I got served because someone thought they were what "I" should have I would quickly starve to death because just the smell of them makes me gag.
Please stop the battles and make dinner fun. He'll see you guys eating and eventually he'll try new stuff. Don't fix him special things and serve him stuff off the table. If he doesn't eat stop pressuring him. Don't give him milk and stuff with the meal, make it water for everyone.
Do breakfast, morning snack if he's hungry, lunch, nap, afternoon snack, dinner, and bedtime snack. He can have milk with his snacks and breakfast but for lunch and dinner make it water. That way he'll get some water offered and he can still have enough milk for his needs.
If it's a battle then give him some milk but make it a smaller serving.
Sounds like his diet isn't that horrrible! he's getting nutrition. sleep problems prob have nothing to do with his diet. He's just feeling too busy to sleep.
If you give him greek yogurt, not sugary yogurt he will be getting lots of calcium and protein. The oatmeal sold as "weight control oatmeal" is actually just oatmeal with extra protein. Milk of course has more protein then water so dont worry about water. Have you tried making whole wheat pumpkin muffins?
What kind of snacks are you offering? No more pretzels, crackers, or goldfish, or graham crackers which just fill him up. None. let him get hungry.
Worry less about his diet. is it possible he is not tall for his age because you or your hubby are not tall?
I just read the answers to your dilemma offered by the others. The sensory issues loom large in this description. How wonderful that other mothers have been there, and are directing you to even the therapists that can help.
I want to just throw in some other things to consider. I had a child who fit this description. I believe now that I was oblivious to how the tension in our home was affecting him. I was married to an extremely abusive conservative "christian" man who caused constant chaos in order to "be in control." Those "teachings" ruined my entire life and brought nothing but destruction. I think my child could not do anything, including eating or sleeping, because of the horrible tensions under the surface all of the time.
So, step back and look at EVERYTHING. How much time do you spend quietly holding him and reading to him? Do you have predictable little routines that are there daily to create security for him? How is your own mental and emotional health? Is mealtime a safe and secure...fun time to quietly connect with one another? Are there distractions...like TV or music...going on?
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Do NOT think that you are making a big deal out of nothing. My son ended up underweight and shorter than all of his classmates. His siblings, parents, cousins, etc are ALL tall people. Don't give up.
One thing I would suggest: set up a meeting with a certified dietician and learn how to increase the protein in all of his foods. Learn how (for instance) to add mashed up steamed cauliflower in yogurt with fruit.
It could be a texture thing. Have you tried a frozen smoothie? Or, a YOGURT smoothie? You can hide all kinds of things in smoothies.
I just read Marla's response. As a certified parenting instructor, I was just going to write what she wrote....Sensory issues need to be addressed.
I, myself, have sensory. I have one child with sensory. Occupational
theraphy will be a wonderful choice.
I always tell parents this: Get an evaluation from an OT who understands sensory. If it is truly not sensory, then, it's probably parenting. It's always good to know.
My daughter with sensory ...NEVER slept ! I had to buy a weighted blanket for her. Even to this day...she uses a night light and a fan for white noise. It was soooo not easy parenting her ! I sleep with a heavy blanket, too.
My pediatrician did not know about sensory. So, I switched to a developmental pediatrician. Later, I had her tested by a neuropsychologist. With my daughter, it was more than sensory (and she looks like a typical child)...but, this was the info I needed for elementary school.
If this is truly a parenting issue---then a child can sense the tenseness of the parent/s. Or it could be a food jag....
I would seek out a developmental pediatrician and an occupational therapist.
Message me any time. I was this child!
Things to keep in mind - that children need to see a food many times before they really like it or not, and that food is often the only control a child has. If he is growing and developing, he can just be small. You might consider the site wholesomebabyfood.com for ideas. Here, if I know DD won't eat chili, she can have lunchmeat and leftovers. Pasta? Plain butter for her. Veg? Raw only. Etc. It's not being a short order cook if you're just letting the diners choose the sauce or whether or not they want it cooked. When you buy Eggos, get whole grain (or another brand with such) or see if he'll eat waffles you make at home with fruit in them or other nutrition. If you don't get riled up, then he'll have no game to play. I'd try very hard to keep it simple. Eat or not, but no spitting. Water in a sippy if he likes to toss the water bottle. Etc.
Toddlers ultimately need far less to live off of than most people realize. Something I also do with DD even now is offer something I know she will eat next to something she probably won't eat and a wild card. Just to expose her to the idea that this is good food. You don't want it? Set it aside. Eat your x instead.
You and your DH need to remember it's not personal toward you and yelling at each other will resolve nothing. I would look into sensory issues if he eats only the same textures (and if so, what about apple sauce vs apples?) but bear in mind you aren't the first or last to be confronted with a terribly picky toddler.
Find a speech therapist that also does feeding therapy for an evaluation and go from there. Sounds like a sensory issue. Early intervention is so helpful. You can try putting carnation instant breakfast in his milk for added nutrition. We use Duocal in my son's yogurt to increase calories. I would also consider finding a new pediatrician for a second opinion. I highly doubt this is a parenting issue! Good luck to you!
