Someone to Talk to Who Understands How ADHD Affects the Family.

Updated on March 13, 2008
J.R. asks from Bark River, MI
15 answers

I have a 9 year old son with ADHD, ODD, and mood disorder. I also have a 5 year old son with a speech delay, and an 18 month old daughter. It is so hard to find people to talk to that understand the difficulties of a needy child.

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So What Happened?

I was glad to hear from so many others who are going through the same difficulties as I am. It helps when you are not alone. The most common thing I heard though was parents who decided to go off meds, I am not comfortable with that, if my son goes even one day without his I lose my mind. He doesn't like himself much either without his meds. Thank you for all the support.

Featured Answers

J.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was diagnosed with ADD and anxiety last summer and it has been a struggle. Her school work bounces all over the place and some of her mood swings! I am very apprecitive of the support of the school especially the IEP teacher who has been a wonderful help to us. I also went through a year long battle with her father to put her on medication. I have tried other things before resorting to meds but therapy doesn't seem to be enough. There is a great website called www.chadd.org I believe its .org and not .com. I would be very grateful to talk with other parents who have children with ADD/ADHD.

1 mom found this helpful

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C.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi J.~

I have a 13 year old daughter with ADHD, Depression and Angzity (spelled wrong) disorder and my 8 year old son has a speech impairment. He sees a speech thearapist twice a week.
My daughter is currently taking Zoloft and Strattera. She is one of those kids that has to change ADHD meds every 6 mos to a year cause they quit working :o( - thankfully we have it down to 2 that she can take so the dr. switches her back and forth as needed. I have 3 other children besides these two. My oldest son (20 years old) has PKU. Which is a genetic disorder. So I do know what its like to have special needs kids. :-) Just hollar if you need to talk!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Duluth on

Hello,
I understand how you feel. I have a daughter who is bypolar and all of those things you spoke of. She had speech therapy as well and my son now is in speech therapy but not exibiting any other signs. My email is ____@____.com if you need to talk.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Madison on

Hi,
I have a son that was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 4. We have been through the rollercoaster of med changes kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade were the worst! He was later also diagnosed with ODD, Anxiety and depression and medicated for all of that. He is now twelve and off all meds with exception of the ADHD med Concerta. In the past two years he suffered severe side effects from the meds the doctor described for the ODD, depression and anxiety. The last reaction being a tick that caused his head to jerk violently to one side every few seconds witch he had to be medicated for also! I have had it and told the doctor NO MORE !
Just an FYI
I now take him to an acupuncturist every other week and we took a meditation class together. He is a different kid! He no longer struggles with cognitive issues and is an A/B student, is able to express his thoughts without a struggle and is all in all a much happier child with only normal tween defiance! Some meds that are given for the ODD behaviors can cause cognitive dulling. I encourage everyone to do a web search on meds given to your child for side effects. They are not all listed on the drug information that is given to you.

T.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.L.

answers from Rochester on

Hi, J..
My 15 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD last summer - finally! It took moving mountains to have her teachers' cooperation. The school was unhelpful at all.

We also have an almost 5 year old and she is also effected by her sister's daily behavior. Though we don't have issues with ODD our eldest is being monitored for potential signs of mood disorder - though probably unlikely, but hard to tell since she is a teenager!

Let me know if you want to talk.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a son who is ADHD, has dyslexia, sensory integration and processing issues, and disruptive behavior disorder. He will be 8 in July. I also have a 6 year old daughter who was original diagnosed as being autistic who has some serious anxiety and behavioral issues and a 3 year old son who, so far, hasn't been diagnosed with any major issues, but definitely mirrors his siblings. I'd be glad to talk. It's been difficult for me as well since no one seems to understand and usually just look at me like I'm nuts when I can't "control" my child.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I know what it is like, I stay at home with my kids. My son (8yrs old in June) has Down syndrome, severe ADHD, mood disorder, anxiety, delay with speech and potty training, bad seasonal allergies and lite touch of asthma. I also have 21mo old identical twins. If you need any help or just want to talk let me know.
M. - ____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter was diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder) without the hyperactivity. She was also diagnosed with depression and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). That is, put in words we can understand, doesn't like taking direction from an adult. We had her on meds for awhile. Most made her sick or just not herself. She went through alot trying to find the right meds. Concerta seemed to work for the ADD. It helped her focus her attention, instead of being "scatter-brained". That was 3 years ago. She has since been off the meds for about 2 years. She was only on them for 1 year. We went to counseling, helped understand what ADD & ADHD means to someone who has it. It's like a radio and someone talking and everything going on at once. And the person can't concentrate because too much is happening inside their head. We eventually weaned her off the meds. She was concerned about taking them too long, and so were we. We now work with behavioral issues. Trying to keep her focused. We have to remind her to do something at least twice, if not 3 times. She has gotten better as she gets older, but it's still hard. We are now at the lying stage. I think this is part of her "diagnosis", but who's to say.
As for how disorders effect the family, it's really stressful for everyone. Being in therapy or counseling has helped tremendously. We are no longer attending, but it has helped. You have to re-learn how to act around each other and not walk on egg shells. You have to re-learn how to speak to these children. In words and ways they can relate to and understand.
it's not an easy road, and sometimes, I want to run away and have "peace of mind" all alone. But I know that will do no good. We have this thing I say at our home, if the kids are calling for me and it has been a hard day, I just want it to end, I respons with "Mommy ran away to join the circus". They say, "No you didn't, your right here". But that's a cue that I have had enough and they calm down a bit. They come by me and sit and cuddle, so what every they wanted has now melted away from their minds. If you every need to talk, my email is ____@____.com
-M.

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S.B.

answers from Wausau on

Hello I have an 8 yr old son who was diagnosed with ADHD 2 months ago. He (was) very hyper. He also has been in speech therapy for 4 yrs now and hopefully this is his last year. I have 5 children (I'm 29 and now a stay at home mom) and he is my middle child. My email is ____@____.com if you want to email me.
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have a three year old who had a mild cleft palate when he was born and has delayed speech. He had the surgery to fix his cleft palate when he was 1 1/2. He has been diagnosed with XYY Syndrome which they found accidentally when they were checking for other issues that he has had. I guess this may make him unusually tall and he may have some learning disabilities and he may affect his speech also. We will see. He has asthma and has been in and out of hospitals since he was born with various illnesses. I had to stay home because he was so sick all of the time. I have a thirteen year old stepson who has BiPolar, mild to moderate ADD. It's amazing how many people will give you advice about your parenting skills when they see how your children act though. I love the non-asked for or wanted advice from people you don't even know and decide that they know what is best for you and your children. It has been quite a struggle dealing with all of the "issues". I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I still would love to talk to people who understand more. Anyway, if you ever want to email ____@____.com is my email address and you are welcome to send one anytime. Take care and per all of the responses, there are a lot of people who will understand what you are going through and what your children are going through.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

I know how you feel! I have a 6 year old son who has ADHD, ODD as well as a yet to be determinded mood disorder. I am a stay at home mom. I also have a 7 1/2 year old son and aa 4 year old son who also has speach delays due to hearing problems. Not many people out there understand what's going on when your child breaks down in the middle of wal-mart and there's nothing you can do. If you ever want to talk my email is ____@____.com
Keep your chin up!

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

my son is 5 and currently diagnosed ASD - however, he has behavioral issues beyond autism spectrum so a number of other things are being looked at including ODD, bi-polar.
He is VERY difficult to live with at present as he can be violent. He can be a sweet loving little boy but he flips VERY quickly and unpredictably.

my email is ____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from Wausau on

I really know what your going through all my kids have a mental disability of some kind along with ADHD write me I'll talk to you it's nice to know I'm not the only parent who has to deal with this I love my kids also but some days I just feel like running away LOL my email is ____@____.com I have 5 kids 3 that are adults but still live at home do to there problems and two younger kids with there own set of issues hope to hear from you soon L.

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C.E.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

I was an ADHD child so if I can help or you need to vent or don't understand what you child is thinking just let me know.
Good Luck!

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M.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

I don't like medicating kids, but believe me, sometimes medication is the only thing that helps the child be his or her own good self. I was a psychotherapist and also do a lot of training with teachers and work with special needs kids, and there are some kids who simply do not have mature enough brains to focus and keep themselves out of trouble and out of fights. The medication is a real miracle for them.
A lot of time when kids are diagnosed with ODD, they really do not have it, but instead have not had consistency and absolute maintaining of rules and discipline. When kids win arguments, for instance, they know how helpless and weak they are, but when they WIN arguments against their parents, they are furious and vulnerable and scared, because winning the argument means the parents are even weaker and know even less than the child does!
Parents so often make the mistake of wanting to be their child's friend, trying to have the child like them. This is the worst possible stance to take -- you are the PARENT -- other kids will be friends. Your job is to maintain a consistent, predictable, and safe house for the children. Makes no difference if they like you or not -- that is most definitely not important at all. You will be loved and respected if you are a good parent. If you are trying to please the child, they won't respect you, because they can control you.

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