Son Converting to Mormonism

Updated on November 11, 2013
J.B. asks from Hyde Park, MA
18 answers

Hello everyone, my second son recently has been showing interest in the Mormon religion, he met some missionaries on the train and they got talking so he has been meeting them on a weekly basis and he has been doing a fair amount of reading in his book of Mormon and online and he has been to their chapel a few times.

We're an agnostic family but I feel that my children (3 in total) should at very least learn about different religions an see if they find one for them, so I am quite happy about this, my older son (mentioned in a previous question) has dabbled in religions himself.

What I want to know is, is there I ought to know or should look out for, my knowledge is virtually zero and I would like to know at very least the basics.

So if there are any Mormons of anyone who knows a lot about the church, can anyone give me some basics, thanks.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

How old is he? Much of my answer would be based on if he is old enough to make his own decisions.

I think YOU should be the one to determine his religious education, not missionaries who may be focused only on their own beliefs.

3 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Please... if you want to know about Mormonism then you need to do independent research and not ask Mormons about it because you won't get the truth.

http://youtu.be/3GIjGqer9UY

1 mom found this helpful

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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Although I am not LDS, I live in the middle of Mormon central. Before moving here, I picked up a book at the library. Believe it or not, there is a Mormonism For Dummies, written by a lifelong member and a convert, and it was very informative. It's nice to know where my neighbors are coming from philosophically/culturally. I also read the Book of Mormon. I would suggest doing so. Taking a look at the primary sources of a faith is a great way to gain understanding.

As some prior posters have said, it is true that temple weddings can only be attended by Mormons with a temple recommend, which means that even some Mormons cannot go. The way most couples I know here have handled this, especially if their families and friends are a mix of LDS and non-LDS, is to make the ceremony private or family-only, and have a huge reception for everybody afterwards.

The LDS church is fairly socially conservative. How does your son feel about marriage, gay rights, and the roles of women both in the faith and in society? These issues are hot topics among my LDS friends right now, so your son may want to look at the church's official positions in these areas as he ponders his choice.

14 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i was raised LDS, and my (huge) mormon family is spread out all over the place, but mostly in utah.
i have a lot of issues with church doctrine, mainly the role of men in the church and family hierarchies. i don't think it's a healthy thing for men to be elevated to the place the church has put them, and it's the reason for all the abuses within the church. i'm constantly gobsmacked at how smart, strong, no-BS mormon women allow themselves to be 2nd class citizens in every aspect except as homemakers, babymakers and relief society sisters.
that being said, there's an awful lot that's pretty wonderful about the LDS church. their focus on family is admirable, their strong stance on self-reliance AND helping out their own, and the fact that when there is a disaster, the LDS trucks are rolling out with water and supplies while the red cross is still bumbling through its bureaucracy. and you'll look long and hard to find a nicer bunch than the mormons- courteous, helpful, cheerful and hard-working. (and overwhelmingly white and middle class-to-wealthy.)
i'd be curious to know what piqued your son's interest. is it joseph smith's testimony? the book of mormon? the personal experiences within the church of his missionaries? the Word of Wisdom? the claims about temple garments? the (mostly passe) titillating prospect of plural wives?
feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat further.
khairete
S.

8 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

My DIL is non practicing LDS at the moment. The wedding was held at a beautiful flower garden area so that family members and non LDS friends could witness the ceremony. The officiating person was her uncle.

She is the only one that is not practicing and the family is all right with it. The break came quite some time ago prior to her meeting my son.

A month after her wedding, her brother got married in the Temple in Salt Lake. He may be the only one that has had the Temple wedding out of the five that are married. There are still two more to go in the future.

Do do you homework about the religion and what it means. They are very family oriented and will help you at a moment's notice. They help their members from within including their own welfare system. Not all young men do the one or two year missionary program. My boss's grandson opted out to finish is schooling. It was his choice. So not everything is black and white with them. There are many shades of gray.

May you find peace with your son's decision and be happy for him.

the other S.

7 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Here's a problem you might want to be aware of. The people I know who have converted have not been allowed to invite their family to things like weddings, because non-believers are not allowed in the temple. I have a friend who's mother was very hurt not to be allowed to her daughter's wedding.

I don't know how old your son is, but I would be really worried about what anyone would be telling my child if I wasn't with them. I do find it commendable that you let your children learn about religions, but religions that are so exclusionary, like Mormonism, make me nervous. We're Catholic, but at least anyone is allowed to come to our masses and ceremonies, because we have nothing to hide.

7 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

In response to S.B. the only place that a non Morman family member is not allowed to attend is when the event is in the temple. This would not be a problem for you and your son. Attendance in the temple is very rare. I have Mormans in my family and weddings in the temple are rare. If your son were to marry he would have the choice of doing it or not.

I suggest that this consideration is unimportant at this stage in your son's exploration. What is important is the beliefs and values of the church. I suggest that you invite the missionaries to your home to learn about their beliefs and the organization of th church. They will respect you and your beliefs. They will not pressure you to join their church or to accept their beliefs for yourself.

7 moms found this helpful
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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

Check out:
http://mormon.org/what-do-mormons-believe?gclid=CNDNo_-M2...
I have a few friends that are Mormon. They are all more than happy to talk about their beliefs, I'm sure you could call the local Mormon church and someone would be happy to explain the basics to you. Their website also has a chat feature if you want to remain anonymous.

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Well, the first thing is you need to be INFORMED. Do your own research on the religion...

http://www.pewforum.org/2012/01/12/mormons-in-america-bel...

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormonism-101

Maybe even attend a few services. Talk to the Elders to find out what their religion is all about. As with ANY religion there are positives and negatives. Either way? if your son is an adult? You need to ask yourself if you can support his decision?

Good luck!

6 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm all for seeking truth and following wherever it may lead you. God says, "you will find me when you seek me with all your heart." This is a sensitive topic, and I spend a lot of time researching and studying religions of all types. I don't want to stomp on feelings so PM me it you want to start a dialog. From a non- believers perspective, here is where i think you should be concerned; once you are in the Mormon faith, you are considered a very bad Mormon if you question the leadership of the church or read and study material that is non Mormon, or anti Mormon. So they suck you in pretty good. And its a very exclusive religion, so it stands to reason it could drive a wedge in your relationship. Sorry if this stings a bit because my heart actually aches for you, but my advice is -wise up. As an agnostic you have offered him nothing to satisfy the void that only God can fill. He has zero training in God's word to recognize false Spirits. He is in a very dangerous place. I would stop being so "open minded" if I were his mama and do your research. And maybe even pray about it. As I see it, Mormonism teaches the same lie that was taught from the beginning in the garden of Eden, the same lie taught in the New Age, Gnosticism, and the new spirituality in the Christian church- that we can be as God. As a non believer that probably does not sound alarming to you.

6 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I like all the other responses. Depending on your son's age, I would ask if I could go to one of his meetings with him. It would show your support and answer some of your questions. I find people of any faith usually enjoy sharing their beliefs.

4 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

If he is a minor, I would allow him to attend services, but not to join the church until he is an adult. That would go for any organized religion.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Salinas on

Can you tell us his age? I think that will make a big difference in the responses you get.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Portland on

Well, I also have looked into Mormanism and several other religions. If you want to know the ins and outs, they will come and talk to you if you ask to help you understand the religion and probably try and recruit you too. :)

If you want your son to realize the real truth, then he should know that if he marries someone not of the same faith, he will not be allowed to marry in the chapel, but will have to either use the gym, or go somewhere else. If he marries in the Temple to a Morman girl, YOU will NOT Be able to attend unless you are a Morman in good standing. Also, if he marries in the Temple, he cannot ever get divorced! this means in this lifetime or for the rest of eternity.

Also, he will have to wear these special "underwear" under his clothes, with special writing on them to shield the body from the outside world. The only time he will be allowed to take them off is for a shower and sex. Those are the ONLY allowed times. He will be expected to give at least the obligatory 10% tithe, but he will also have to donate more for several reasons that they have, but I don't remember all of them.

They will be good to him. They help with education, it is a good system to fall on if you need it, but you are also expected to have a lot of kids, I don't remember what the number is.

Anyway, I wanted to give you an idea of the stuff that is hidden so that you don't really get to know about it until its too late and you have already decided to join.

Oh, and they are supposed to send a year in a mission before they go to college after high school. I don't know if that will bother you and your plans, but I know its alarming to me! So many people don't go to college if they don't go directly there.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

Read the book The God Makers.

1 mom found this helpful

R.X.

answers from Houston on

Other than missing the wedding, I'd be okay. I see a bit of 'better' in every religion.

1 mom found this helpful
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