Son Friends

that is really sad. Have you sat down and asked him why he 'believes' that no one wants to hang out? I know its really touchy, but its good to at least build that bond with him so he knows he can always talk to you. Perhaps you could sent him on a mission to seek out another boy who might feel the same way he does. Have him observe others, and that way he can see that there may be others who are in the same situation. Can't let him persuade himself that friends come to him, he has to make a worthy effort :)

Hi K.,

First of all, for those moms who didn't notice, the kid is 10 years old......!!!
K., I would suggest that you talk to his teacher and see what you can find out about this problem. There are many different situations that occurs in a classroom especially at this age. If the teacher did not notice anything, just try to talk again with your kid. It helps when you let him stay a few days at home (like Thu, Fri and the weekend...don't worry about the absence..he will catch up!)and while he is there with you, he will feel more confident and will talk to you, you may find out more details about the sudden attitude of his classmates. Sometimes it is him and sometimes it is not. Give him some time and let him know that you and himself have to talk things out to see what is happening, seat down with him and think of things that may be happening. Kids are kids and even at this age do things like this, probably when he first came in, he was a "new" person for them and now the "new" person is part of them..you never know; just talking to him will solve half of the problem; he may know or feel something. Ask questions in a nice and specific way. Don;t make him feel like he is the problem until you know exactly what is happening. ("Do all your friends were nice to you at the beginning?", Is there anyone who you don't like?", "Any of them talk to you now or is nice with you after this change?"..etc..)
Good luck!
Ale

I have two teenagers. My son doesn't like to talk about his feelings but my daughter will spill her guts. With my son I try to start out just having a conversation about anything he is interested in. When it seems like he is feeling safe I will ask him if anything is bothering him that I can help him with. If he talks I then give him advise. This is a technique my mother uses in her therapy with her patience. For you situation I feel that something has happened at school that he doesn't know how to handle. The problem is that teenagers can be cruel. Sometimes a situation is hard to handle and they don't know what to do or where to turn. The key for you is to show love and concern and don't judge if he does tell you what is going on. There is so much peer pressure at school and on facebook it's hard for kids to get away from the pressure.
I wouldn't wait to long, if you can't get him to talk you need to get him help so he can work on the problem at hand. Teenagers talking in a safe environment is the key. IF you can't help then maybe someone else can.

Good luck let us know how it goes.

M.

Moving can be really hard on kids. I don't know how old he is, but regardless of his age, he could be experiencing some bullying - if so, that could explain why he won't talk about it. Kids in that situation can feel really upset and ashamed and don't know how to handle it, often times. I would try to find out if kids are being mean to him. If you get the sense that he may be getting bullied, you're going to need to teach him about how to handle it/ stand up for himself. You may also want to talk with his teachers or a school counselor.

It might be helpful to know how old your son is. If he's in elementary school, I'd say that you as the mom can take the lead in setting up playdates with the old friends. With kids, sad to say, it's often out of sight, out of mind. If they don't see each other in school, they often don't think of the other friends - because those boys still have all of their other friends. I think once you get past elementary and into middle school, it's harder to break in with a new group of friends. Has he tried making plans or asking kids from the new school over? What type of activities is he involved with, sports, scouts, school clubs, etc? That's where a lot of socialization takes place and where you meet friends with similar interests. I would also talk to his school counselor about this, especially if this is a younger kid, not a teen.
Good luck

Being a kid is really hard. School and friends are such a huge part of thier lives. If your son wont open up to you maybe try and get into talk to his teacher. He/She might be able to give you an idea whats going on in your sons school life. I agree with the other mom about maybe getting him into scouts or something he likes. Our Home Depot here in town does a kids work shop once a month its free and the kids make things. My kids love it. They get to meet kids from other schools plus gain alittle pride in the projects they finish. These are just my thoughts. Being a parent is wonderful and heartbreaking all at the same time. You cant always fix the problem but you can help your son during hard times. Let him know you are there whenever he needs you. You are a wonderful and caring mother for wanting to help your son.

Talk to his teacher and see if he/she knows of anything that has happened. If the teacher is good to work with, ask him/her if they could just observe a couple of recesses for you to determine if he is all by himself and if any bullying or ostracizing is going on.

He is not too young to be experiencing depression or anxiety. There should also be a school counselor you could try talking to before you take him to a psychologist or therapist outside of school. Go with your gut on this one!

Stick with your intuition and start acting fast. Summer is coming, and you want him to regain friendships that he can play with over the summer.

Do you attend church or youth organizations where he could meet more kids? He could do cub scouts to make new friends if school just isn't going to work out.

Hi K.,

It is difficult for boys to communicate their feelings most times. I would talk to his teacher and see if she is noticing any sudden changes or if something has happened recently to him. Do you know any of the mom's of the children that maybe you can ask if their son has mentioned anything. Do you have him involved in any sports so he can meet other friends? Boy scouts is also something he may enjoy. I would try to involve him in other activities so he has another outlet and is not depending on these few boys he has just met. Good luck I know how heartbreaking it can be to see your child in pain. Keep us posted.