I am not sure how to handle a situation that has arisen with my 5 year old son. Another little boy in his class was kissing him on the bus. I figured it may only be a child thing, the first time it happened. I told my son if it happens again to tell the kid to stop trying to kiss him, and if he didn't to tell his bus driver and the teacher immediately. The very next day we had the same issue, and the little boy said that he did not have to stop. I called the bus garage, and talked to the bus driver and their teacher. They moved his seat on the bus, and this seemed to stop the issue there. But now, the kid has been kissing/trying to kiss my son in the class room. My son has told the teacher at least three times that I am aware of.
A week later the little boy is still trying to kiss him. To make matters worse, he came home with a mark on his neck. Apparently a different little boy on the playground choked him. He said that he does not know who the boy his, he is not in his class. A classmate told his teacher and the little boy had to apologize to my son. I am not sure if I am over reacting about anything, but I am getting furious with everything that has been going on. My son loved school and the bus. He does not like the bus anymore, and now I am afraid that he will grow to dislike school if the behavior isn't handled. He says that the boy choking him made him embarassed, and he burst into tears as soon as he started telling me about what had happened.
What should I do? I am going to talk with his teacher again in the morning, I just do not know exactly how to deal with this without flying off the handle.
Thank you so much for the advice, and for validating my feelings! I did speak with his teacher again this morning. I expressed my concerns with her and let her know that I would have appreciated a call. She said she meant to call. I asked her what had happened with the child choking my son. She explained that it was a boy in the special needs program and the boy is Autistic and has a learning disability. She apologized and said that it would not happen again. I cannot say that I am less angry about the situation, especially after she told me that my son was very upset about this situation. This made me a little angrier because surely I should have been made aware of the situation! I also do not have faith in her word, since the kissing situation is still ongoing.
After hearing all of your thoughts on the issue, I am very convinced that I am not over reacting. This is my first child in school, and I was really hoping that these were not normal issues that parents were expected to deal with. I could not believe that after I brought the kissing situation to her attention it is still happening. I do agree that there seems to be a lack of supervision. I do not feel that things are being addressed or resolved correctly, and I have a meeting with the school counselor this afternoon. Hopefully I get more satisfying answers and results from him!
Talk to the teacher, then take it to the principal. They need to do a better job supervising the children.
The kissing kid may have "personal space" issues - some kids just don't know when to stop and the adults need to do a better job helping them. You need to know if the parents of the kissing kid have been told he's being disruptive so they can deal with it at home.
Good luck!
You do not "fly off the handle" because you are a grown and rational person.
Talk to the teacher as planned, and if it continues, take it to the principal. All schools haves rules and policies regarding touching, kissing and personal space.
I am sure they will take this very seriously!
OMGosh! This is a horrible way to start off the school year let alone school! M. you gotta nip this in the bud and become proactive. Do you work? Cause it seems like you should try to do a lot of "volunteer" work at the school to see what is really going on! This behavior is outrageous to me as an educator and as a parent! I cannot believe what some kids do these days! and how professionals handle it by looking away, or never seeing it at all and then not really doing much about it. Your son should feel safe going to school and riding the bus. My heart breaks for you and I hope things get better soon. Speak up and be heard but remain in control.
I would talk to the Principle or the school counselor. In the past I've had more success talking to the counselor. They have less on their plate and they better know how to handle odd situations ( most times not all). Counselors are also easier to get in and speak with. Principles have so many meetings, things outside of the building, and other things that it may not get resolved as quickly as you like.
It kinda sounds like there is a lack of supervision all around at this school. It happens sometimes, the student teacher ratio is not what it used to be.
If all this has him really upset and you are concern, can you switch schools? My son was having problems and I switched schools. He is doing so much better now! He is thriving in school, not just surviving. I know people say children adapt and that they have to learn handle bad situations etc, but I think this age is too young for all that.
Good Luck!
poor baby! take it above the teacher's head. at this point, she's been made aware, she is obviously NOT watching them (or able to) closer, which she needs to be. i would write a very calm, clear email to the principal, and then call to follow up, and talk to him/her about the situation. don't back down mama. don't stop until it is handled to your satisfaction. this is absolutely unacceptable. good luck.
You are your son's protector... and you are trusting the staff of your district with his care. If they are not living up to what you expect of them - tell them. After you talk with the driver/teacher, the next step it their bosses, and if need be work your way up to the superintendent of the school district.
All schools have rules - usually one is hand & feet to yourself... it sounds as if that rule is not being followed. And I'm sorry, but if my child was strangled during any part of the dayd - I would be really PO'ed... and if I was only informed of what happened by my child, I would be even madder! Sorry, but I'm sorry is not all that child that strangled your boy should get as punishment!!!
State what you expect of the school & why you are upset... just try your best to stay respectful & don't yell or use bad language. Also, sometimes it is better to send/e-mail in letters then to talk to them... letters are proof you have tried to address the stiuation - talking has no proof - it is just your word vs. theirs & most people do lie when they are in-trouble for something.
Good luck - I hope they situation is handled befor your son dislikes school!
Wow- unreal. Has the school also talked to the parents of the other boy? I'd also see if he can ride in the front seat of the bus so the bus driver can keep an eye on things, or drive him for awhile. That's insane and can't believe you're dealing with that. Good luck
Wow, I have heard that public schools are getting bad... I am assuming it is as you never mentioned anything about pulling him out.
Other than looking for a private school or homeschooling, I would enroll your son in a martial arts class. He will learn how to react appropriately to any kind of bullying. He needs to learn how to respond as well as how to carry himself with confidence so that he is not an easy target.
Listen to what the teacher says. If she's clueless, maybe she can still get to the bottom of it. She certainly can speak to the mom of the kisser and see if there's anything behind that. And the same with the choker. Teachers have a way to extract info out of kids that young. Then she can have a talk with the whole class or just the two offenders.
If all else fails, maybe your son can switch classes?
