Son Hits His Head on Floor and Wall

S.,
I copied and pasted your message on another message board (see below): the GFCF board (Gluten Free/Casein Free~Gluten is in Wheat, Barley, Rye and most of the time Oats. Casein is in Milk products not unlike Lactose and Whey)
These mothers have years of experience and there are a number of doctors, as well as other knowledgable people who respond with helpful advice.

I see you have your son on a restrictive diet. I'm unsure of what that means. But I do know that what he's eating is likely the cause of what his actions. I won't go into too much detail w/my own experience, other than I have 4 kids~three of which have special dietary needs/allergies/PDD-NOS~on the Autism spectrum but highly functional~eczema/ADHD etc. . .

But the head banging is a direct sign that it is likely a dietary issue (it was hard for me to believe at first, too. I thought it might be a temper tantrum. And actually, it is, kind of. But when the diet changes, you see this type of tantrum go away.)

Good luck and keep asking questions until you get the answers you're looking for.

J.

Re: Help for a friend. . .head banging/Hirschsprungs (?)
Posted by: "Christel King" ____@____.com missvermont94
Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:49 am (PDT)

our son did this till we got all the opiates out and then we had no more issues. soy and milk are both opiates for him, 24 hours out of his diet and they were gone

Read more about it on my BLOGs at
http://www.myspace. com/christelking
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From: artistnonperfection ist
To: ____@____.com s.com
Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 11:15 AM
Subject: [GFCFKids] Help for a friend. . .head banging/Hirschsprun gs (?)

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Messages in this topic (3)
5c. Re: Help for a friend. . .head banging/Hirschsprungs (?)
Posted by: "mouseker1" ____@____.com mouseker1
Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:56 am (PDT)

That sounds like a tough situation, my heart goes out to you. My son
would temper tantrum and bang his head when he got frustrated that he
couldn't tell us what he wanted. And he would do that when he would
wake in the middle of the night with severe gas pain (before the GFCF
diet). But once he learned to sign and use pictures to communicate
(now he is partially verbal) and we got him onto the diet the head
banging ceased entirely. You didn't specify if he was able to
communicate or not. If not then you might want to focus on that and
see if it lessens once he isn't so frustrated from his inability to
express himself. I hope this helps and that you find a way to help him.

--- In ____@____.com s.com, "artistnonperfectio nist"
<jjthene@... > wrote:
>
> (Here is her story. . .she's looking for help. Thank you!!!
> J.)
>
> i was wondering if any mom's have a problem with there children
> hitting there head on the floor or wall when they dont get there way?
> not only once but sometimes three or four times with my son we usually
> put our foot or try and pick him up but sometimes that doesnt work. my
> son will be 3 in May, and yes we do let him get away with alot of
> things but he was born sick and almost lost him twice, so hes my
> precious son! he has a rare disease called hirschsprungs (sounds like
> her sh sprungs) when he was born he had a hole in his colon, had
> emergency surgery 3 days old removed half of colon put on colostomy
> bag (where the bm goes) had that for nine months then had another
> surgery to see if they can repair what was left, and the dr said they
> couldnt that only sections of the colon and large intestine were
> working and that they couldnt patch those sections together that it
> just wouldnt work that way. so they had to remove his large intestine
> and the rest of his colon, now his bottom is always sore and he has a
> very strick diet and he goes through 104 pampers a week
>

I am a single mom too, of 1 boy. Goodness, 4 kids. You do have your hands full.
My son went through a hitting biting phase- of just me! It was like he just loved the sensation of it. I remember the first time he did it, I was laying on the floor and he was playing next to me (about 9-10 months old) and he picked up his wooden hammer, looked at me excitedly and then whaled me in the forehead. And it was a love affair for him after that.
My family has been using a Homeopathy care provider since I was in 2nd grade (now 31) so I turned to that when I was splitting hairs. Our homeopath found a remedy and he stopped immediately after taking it.
On a more talk therapy note... I can imagine that your family has it's own culture that is shaped by your story. People have beliefs and attitudes about the family and their relationships and their own identity. I really believe that kids are always testing those limits and looking to us to help them shape that and the whole world for that matter. As far as I have heard, banging the head is not uncommon for children. It will be a trick for you to help your son feel empowered about himself and not a victim with a chronic health concern. The way you treat him will set the example of what he expects from others.
With my son, he tantrums and it is usually for a reason. The hardest thing for him to understand right now is that sometimes he can't have what he wants, and that's just life. I tell my son that if he wants to hit something he can hit the bed or a pillow, and i do it with him. I say- I'm MAD that I can't have candy, boy that really makes me mad... and we hit the pillow together. Then he will do it on his own, and other things he's mad at come out too- like he told me the other night he was mad that a kid at daycare hit him and I wasn't there to give him a kiss. Showing your kids how to express emotion safely is so healthy I think.
He's just looking for a way to get his energy out- if it's dangerous then help him find another way. Compassion, compassion, compassion.

Hi S.,
Sounds like you have your hands full. This really is a great site to reach out to other moms!

I don't know much about what you are dealing with, but I can tell you that my 4 year old has Down syndrome. I've found that you need to treat them just like the other kids. Yes, they have special needs, but aside from that, they are just like any other kid. If you let him always get his way, you are setting him and yourself up for big problems. A disability is not an excuse. By letting it be, you are setting yourself up for failure and setting limitations on his abilities. Does that make sense?

Regarding restaurants, maybe you could try bringing his meal along. That way the others get to go and you have less to worry about what he gets to eat.

About daipers, that must be super expensive! I know there are some programs out there. Have you checked those out? I don't know much about them because my son is potty trained, but many kids with Down syndrome don't potty train until 6, 7, and older. I think there is a state program that supplies daipers after a certain age because of a disability.

Good luck!
K.

I'm a mom of special needs kids, so I understand your frustration. Assuming you have had your son tested for developmental delays, etc., I would suggest an excellent resource on child training (What The Bible Says About Child Training by Fugate). But if not, I highly recommend a session with your pediatrician to discuss the matter. Are you in a support group for moms of special needs kids? It could be an invaluable resource for you. If you live in the Twin Cities, I facilitate such a group, PASK, that meets monthly.

SAHM of seven, bio and adopted, with various special needs

A child who is in pain a lot (perhaps all the time) will be very irritable! Imagine his experience ~ chronic pain is hard to manage, even for adults. My heart goes out to your son.

Rescue Remedy: non-toxic, completely safe herbal drops you can put in any beverage he drinks will calm his nerves. You will see instant results if you use this S.. Your son's nervous system needs a break.

You will find Rescue at all of the local food co-ops, Whole Foods and some vitamin stores. People use this all over the world for trauma, nervous disorders and pain.

Have you considered getting your son a home care care-giver? I have a sister and a mom who have been through similar surgical procedures and they suffered so greatly! Your son could use someone who comes in just to pay attention to him, to help him to work through his feelings about pain as well as his eating restrictions.

Poor baby! My heart goes out to him.

my son used to do it all the time when he was younger and sometimes still does. we used to try and stop him so he didn't hurt himself but then we started to just let him do it and then when he noticed he wasn't getting attention for it he stopped. And then he thought it was fun so he would just do it ( I don't know why he just like to headbutt everthing) so I wouldn't worry if I was you. Kids do things to get all kinds of attention

My daughter used to do this when she was 2 and grew out of it. One day she was throwing a tantrum and went down to the floor and banged her head on concrete. She did not do any damage but it hurt. After that, she would still hit her head on the ground but she would test it with her hand first. Now, at 3.5 she seems to have halted that behavior, thank goodness.

It sounds to me like just a temper fit. When he doesn't get his way, try putting him somewhere where if he hits his head it won't hurt so much and ignore him. I have been told they won't do it hard enough to really hurt themselves but this I would disagree with. Had one that did that a few times and got huge knots. Don't talk to him when you're trying to keep him from really hurting himself. Like if you're in the kitchen and he starts, move him to the living room because it has carpet or without speaking, put him on his bed and make sure he doesn't get down till he's not so angry. He's thinking, "If I hurt myself maybe I can get that cookie that mom took away from ..."
He has a lot of anger I presume? It's got to be hard to be that little and not understand why he can't have some things he wants. When he's calm and happy, take those opportunities to talk to him about what makes him different--maybe you do this already. It will take some time and maturity for him to understand.
B. H

Hello S.,
I'm so sorry to read about your son's illness, this must be so hard for you as a mother! I hope you are able to find some of what you are looking for on this website. If nothing else, support!

In response to your question/concern. I believe that this is normal and a phase. My oldest child would do this too and as much as it concerned me, it passed with time and maturity.

It looks like you've received some good advice already though.

Take care & god bless,
A.