Son Is All About Papa

This is very normal. My 4 year old daughter did that too and now my 2 year old son is starting to do that. First they cling more to the parent that is around all the time, then they move to the absent parent and seem to get even more clingy to that one. In my case my husband stays home and I work so I see the other side. First they both always preferred him and then eventually they migrated to preferring me. Probably because they see me less. When they get a little older (like my daughter is now) they tend to prefer the parent who they know will give them their way in a certain situation....It is all normal and a phase that is ever changing. Good Luck!

the good news is that as your son gets older he will be closer to you. that has been my experience with my boys. boys alwasy love their mommas the best. my 3 brothers are mommas boys and us three girls are daddys girls

based on what you said (and only what you said without other info) it sounds like your son is securely attached to you and has a bit of an anxious attachment to your husband. Look up attachment styles (not "attachment parenting"). It is completely normal for children to switch alliances. They go back and forth a hundred times over before the tender age of 4!! my duaghter, wow...mommmy mode one day and daddy mode the next. Be sure to open to your son whenever he wants you...he is just figuring out the world! he can push you away because he knows you'll come back and try again!! If he was fearful that you would leave him, he wouldnt do it. A therapist once told me....Never underestimate the mother-child bond" !!

take heart! you will always be mommy!!

Hi G.,

My son is almost son is almost 4 and he is the same way! I think that he is just a daddys boy, just like my girls are mommas girls (now) it was the same with them when they were younger! I also sometimes feel as though he would only like to be with his dad, but you know my husband works all the time so I think it makes him feel good to know that my sons looks forward to spending time with him! Try not to take it too personally! Kids are just funny that way!

We have the same issue in reverse though. My girls always want me & will push away my hubby when he gets home. My two older girls have grown out of it almost completely.... they are almost 6 & 4. My 1 1/2 yr. old still deals w/ it. If I am gone for a period of time then she becomes my hubby's best bud. However, the minute I walk in the door she becomes grumpy, whinny, & wants to be help. Your little guy will grow out of it & I be the next one won't be as bad. Just don't let him get away / the rude attitude. We tell our youngest to be kind & nice & love Daddy even if it is from my arms & she leans into him to hug him. Hope that helps.

Hi G.,
I went through the same thing with my now 4 year old son. To be honest, I felt relief. That may sound horrible, but I was the primary care giver for 1 1/2 - 2 years and when he finally took a strong interest in daddy, I welcomed it with open arms. My sister and I both experienced this because my son went to my husband and my brother-in-law for boy stuff. It was great. Of course, I am back to square one because I have another baby, but I do know that when he gets to be that age, it will be all about daddy! My son still comes to me for comfort (as only a mommy can give :)). I'll take that from having to do every single thing while watching my husband do nothing :):)

Hi G.! I have so say that I know exactly what you are going through! My older son will be 4 in April. And, he has gone through Mommy times and Daddy times. Sometimes he only wants me for EVERYTHING, and then it'll switch to daddy all the time. I also just had another baby boy in November. This was a difficult adjustment for my oldest. That may be the reason he is clinging to daddy so much right now. But, it'll pass, and he'll be wanting mommy all the time soon!
And, I have to laugh because I am also "a 31-year-old married work-at-home mom" who does Arbonne! :) LOL!
Take care,
M.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN! My son went through that from about 18 months for about a good 6 months. I heard "NO DADDY!" for everything. I couldn't unbuckle his car seat, or buckle it in, couldn't change his diaper, get him dressed, fix his food, he wouldn't let me do ANYTHING. For some of that was great... like the changing the diaper thing. But it was a little hurtful at times. He would even do that when DADDY wasn't home. I would go to unbuckle his car seat and he would yell and try to push me away. If I was in a hurry I would of course do it anyway. But if I wasn't, I would go about my business and leave him buckled in until he was ready to accept me. When Daddy was around he would just automatically do it all. I tried really hard to NOT get my feelings hurt, but sometimes I felt sad. The thing is my husband works long crazy hours. And a boy needs to beable to relate to his daddy. The whole male bonding thing. Maybe that was the age when he realized that he was a boy like daddy?? I don't know. But I was glad he wanted to be with daddy. It made my husband... who misses so much of the kids' life because of work... feel really good, too. It reminded him how much he matters to the kids. The funny thing was in my situation he would even choose my brother over me. If my husband wasn't there, but my brother was... I was still chopped liver! Any male figure would do! (just don't tell daddy that) By the way... I was pregnant at the time, too! Anyway, it does pass. Just give him some time and he will be your kid again, soon. And you will be sitting in a chair trying to breastfeed your new baby and he will be trying to climb up on your lap and cling to you. Or you will be trying to use the bathroom and he will be banging on the door needing his mommy. This too shall pass. Try not to let it hurt your feelings. But believe me I know that is hard.

Until my son was about 1 1/2 he was super clingy with me and wouldn't go to anyone very well, not even his dad. I always felt bad for my husband. Well, that all changed and completely reversed around 1 1/2 yrs old. He's now 2 1/2 and still prefers his dad over me when Daddy's home (I assume it's partly because he gets to see me all day, so he gets his fill of me and isn't as needy for my attention), but he'll at least come to me now and is a little more balanced about it. I don't feel bad, but happy that they have a great relationship, especially since my son used to cling to me so much and I'm glad my husband gets a turn to have his child obsessed with him. Also, it gives me a nice break. It was more exhausting when my son wouldn't leave my side. And one more reason that I don't feel bad is that I now have a 9-month-old baby girl who is attached and super clingy to me and doesn't even want to go to Daddy, so it's like we're reliving the scenario all over again. So I imagine she'll become obsessed with Daddy when she's around 1 1/2 just like my son did. It's like they go through phases. And as much as I used to feel bad for my husband because my son cried when he held him, once I became the less-favored parent (my son prefers my husband for everything--put him to bed, give him his bath, change his clothes) I realized I shouldn't have been feeling bad for my husband. I get off easy now!!! Except now I have a baby that wants me for everything, so back to square one.

Totally normal. My daughter would do that to my husband till she hit about two and then she was all about Dad. She will tell me- I want daddy- when she is upset. They switch back and forth between who their favorite is- don't take it personal.

Dont worry!! It's actually wonderful that he wants his daddy so much. I have had the experience that both of my children go through stages, especially when they're that young. Some months its all about mom, and others it's all about dad. And if he is just a "daddy's boy" thats great. Not every child gets that opportunity- be grateful they have a special connection. Also be sure that it doesn't take away from how much he loves and needs his mommy. That will never change.

When my husband walks in the door from work, both kids go squeeling down the hallway, and then it's all about dad until their heads hit the pillow. It's natural for them to desire closeness with him after he's been gone all day, but it doesn't mean they love you any less.

yes, I have gone through the same thing with my boys I have figured out its just because daddy is not around as much as stay-at-home mommy but when it really comes down to it your the one they will really look to for comfort.

Hi G.,
I have to say that I am so happy that you posted this, as I have been going through the very same thing here at home. As I read some of the posts that other readers have writen, I can say I relate and then I don't. I work full time so I get that rejected feeling when my son (who is 18 months) pushes me away and only wants Daddy. My son doesn't see that much of either of us during the work week. Granted I drop him off to daycare and pick him up to bring him home, but I guess I am also looking for a little recognition. It pretty much starts as soon as he wakes up and sees me to get him out of his crib. The first word out of his mouth is Dada. Makes me want to go get my husband and tell him to get our son ready for the day so I can go back to bed! :)

One thing I do know, I am the disciplinarian in the household. Are you as well? Perhaps that might amount to something.

Good luck and just know that you are not alone.

:) A.

Hi G.- I have an 18 onth old son and we went through the same thing. It has gotten better but my son is definitely more demanding of my husband when he is home. When it is just the 2 of us at home he will play by himself and he is rarely fussy. My son is starting to get better. Just give it time. I think, for my son, it started because his dad was at work all day and tried to make up for it when he was home. Now my son just expects him to entertain him all the time. It is a hard habit to break since the expectation is already there.
Don't feel rejected. Your son loves you so much. You are always there for him and he knows it. You just need to be patient. Use the time he is with your huband to relax and do something for yourself.
Good luck!

Hey G.!

No worries! My litle brother's 2 and does that ALL THE TIME.
don't fuss. it's completely normal!

-L. H.