Soon to Be 6 Month Old Screams for Everything! Help!

Can you be more specific about 'he fights me a lot'?

I know you are a new mom-- here's the thing: babies don't really have any idea of what the heck is going on at this age or what they are doing. That is an idea you are projecting on him, but please believe me, he is not capable of consciously thinking "ah! Got her!"

My guess is that you really need a break. That's okay to need a break. Babies are demanding. They DO want to be on us all of the time.

Please try to also remember-- and this is brain science, mind you-- the baby is born with a brain which is only barely developed. Thus, they are often very reactionary, and that is to be expected. Their higher brain (reasoning, logic, etc) is nowhere near developed at this age. He doesn't really even have any concept of object permanence (understanding that when you leave, you come back, when something disappears from view, it isn't gone forever). The other, very important piece of this to keep in mind is that the lower brain processes ALL senses of upset or loss or 'I can't get what I want' in the part of the brain that registers pain. Thus, frustration= pain reaction. He's also at a stage where separation anxiety can rear its ugly head big time.

All this to say, this is common. Laudie, I was a baby nanny for years and cared for some babies who would cry and cry and cry until they fell asleep. It was just their discomfort ~who knows? Separation from mom? Gas? Just mad that this is so much harder on the outside than it was in the womb where there were no unmet needs and they were always snuggled up tight. Also keep in mind that your child has Less time out than they did 'in'.

Other things to watch for are teeth emerging and any attempts to sit up, too. I'm not suggesting you stick him in a Bumbo chair-- he's going to need learn how to do whatever he's driven to do on his own.

Do look up 'wonder weeks' online-- when babies are learning new things, they tend to get cranky, tired, clingy and loud. And check gums for emerging teeth. Or have the doctor check at the next well-check and be sure to ask about appropriate Tylenol or other pain medication dosages.

Good luck, and remember-- don't take it personally. He's not trying to do battle with you, okay? He's got the whole world to deal with.

That is what they do.. They cry, eat and poop. They do not really know how to control you at this point, but they do know when they are frustrated, they cry.

You will have to help him figure out what it is he wants. That means have a bag of tricks handy. Is he hungry, wet, tired, bored, frustrated?

He is getting to the age, when sometimes just repositioning him will help. Handing him a different toy or a blanket etc. will help.

If he is on his tummy, put him in a sitting position. If he is in a sitting position, put him on his tummy. Or put him on his knees. Stand him up facing you, or facing away.

Put a stuffed toy on his tummy. Put it right out of his reach., put it under a blanket.

Also could be he is starting to cut his teeth, You can rub your fingers around his gums, But be careful, if there are teeth coming in and he bites down, it can hurt. Baby wash cloths, wet and then frozen are good for him to chew on.

Does he sit up well on his own? Sit him up in different safe places in your home. In front of a window, on the floor. Or his high chair, strapped in looking out the back door window.

Our daughter at 6 months loved her walker and the doorway jumpy, we could put her in there and she would go to town.. Now they have those baby saucers to sit in.

You get the idea..

Get a development book. It will tell you what to expect and give you some options.

He sounds really normal and healthy..

He cries a lot, especially if you lie him down, and he spits up a lot too.

My completely unprofessional diagnosis: reflux. So, when he lays down in bed, his stomach acid goes up into his throat and burns. It hurts, so he cries. You pick him up, the acid goes back down into his tummy and he feels better. So, he's not making it up just to frustrate you. Maybe he only feels good when someone holds him.

Please do some research on reflux babies and see if the symptoms make sense. If so, there are specific things that help. For example, napping in a bouncy seat or swing, because of the angle, is better than lying down flat. For his crib at night, you can try putting a pillow under one end of the mattress (not under his head! Under the mattress) so that the mattress is tilted and he doesn't lie down as flat. But, he may not sleep well until he outgrows the reflux. It's so hard, but it's a fact of life for many reflux babies.

Screaming and crying is how babies communicate so don't let it frustrate you. Rather than become upset at your son's screaming, take a deep breath and try to figure out what he's trying to tell you with his limited communication. Babies are not manipulative so when he grins at you, he's telling you that you've fixed his problem - maybe he needed to see your face, maybe he needed a different view....

Babies have simple needs but they want those needs met right this red hot second which means they are not patient creatures. Things I considered when my babies where fussing incessantly - Does he want a different view? Different toy? More stimulation? Less stimulation? A diaper change? Is he hot or cold? Is he hungry? Is he teething or otherwise in pain? Does he have a fever? Is he tired? The list goes on but you get the idea.

Many times I carried my screaming baby around the house. I would turn on soft music. If that didn't help, I would turn off the music. Maybe turn down the lights to see if he's overwhelmed. I found going outside could really help all of us. There seems to be something about fresh air that is healing. Basically try anything and everything but try to be as calm as possible yourself. I always thought my babies fed off my bad vibes. If I was upset, it seemed to magnify the situation. Remember your son is not condemning you. Rather he is trying to let you know he needs something. Your job is try to figure out what he needs. Good luck. Babies are an equal measure of frustration and joy at times.

I second the reflux possibility. My kids had it. I did baby-wearing and kept them propped up if I had to put them down.

Talk to your pediatrician about the constant spit up. My kids' reflux only got better with age, but I know some families swear by dietary changes.

Have you had him checked out by a Pediatric Gastroenterologist?

Since he doesn't know what he's doing yet (he's not trying to "work you"),
he is trying to communicate his need.
He is other hungry, cold, wet or in pain.
He could be gassy or cutting teeth.
I'd make sure he isn't gassy first: be sure to illicit a burp after each and
every feeding, try Mylicon gas drops for infants, get Infant Orajel to rub
on his gums as he may very possibly be starting to teeth AND call the
pediatrician to rule out anything else.
He's most likely grinning because he's passing gas & if feels better.
He does not know what he is doing yet.
You can, also, recline in a recliner w/laying on your body so he is not
laying down flat AND you get some rest.
He sounds frustrated due to pain, gas or teething.
Hang in there. Try all of these things. He is a baby & needs you for
everything. This stage shall pass soon.