Hi girls,
I am so used to be employed, but since the recession hit I have been on and off work. My son has been in daycare almost his whole life, since he was 2 months old.. My husband and I recently discussed that my toddler, who is 2 and half, needs to be at home with me now. He does not learn anything at daycare as far as eating with spoon, drinking from a glass etc.. that is my job.. (I have always assumed that he will learn this from observing other kids).
Problem is, whenever my little boy is at home we have always had activities to do with him, take him to the park, out to the store, to the botanical gardens etc. etc. and now he is so used to doing that every day he is home, that he gets upset, or goes to get his shoes to go out, if we don't prompt it first.
I think having him home would be a great benefit to him. (My sanity will be put to the test.. but I think its worth it). He needs someone to teach him life skills, and to be honest, daycare teachers are sweet and kind, but they are not responsible for our children's up bringing.
>My question(s) is this:
Have you recently stopped working to be home with the kids?
How do I wean him off having to go somewhere every single day? (I know he is going to throw toddler tantrums in the mornings if I am not dressed and ready to take him out.)
My son is like that--he likes to be "on the go" all the time.
Think up & plan some activities to do at home: crafts, games, etc.
Get a good schedule going where an outing (an errand even) happens once per day.
A child psychologist once told me that if you let a kid do something (for example, get out of bed and watch TV for a while or buy them a treat at the store), they will try TWENTY more times to get you to do it again by throwing tantrums, if necessary. After 20 times, they realize it isn't going to happen, so they quit trying. (The doc said that adults behave the same way with slot machines...they'll try about 20 times before switching to a different machine.)
My point is, you may have to put up with the tantrums for a while until your son realizes he has a new routine. Just give him some other activities to keep him busy while he adjusts.
Honestly, I don't think you should take him every single day somewhere, he will adjust to a new situation little by little and you shouldn't give up to his tantrums in case it happens. Find something to do with him at home several days a week, like playing with trains, playing with water in the backyard, building with Legos, reading to him, and have some play dates with neighbors of his same age and other days you may want to take him to the library, playground (when it is not too hot of course), to the pool, etc. You are the one who makes the routine, he will be fine, he will need just to get used to it like many other things in life.Be patient and enjoy your son!
Well, you probably should take him somewhere everyday. That could be outside in the garden, to the park, for a walk around the neighborhood. If you don't, he wont get the exercise he (and all of us) needs and both of you will go stir crazy. I wish my son was that ready to go in the morning. Also - I would wonder about your daycare - DS learned to use utensils and a regular cup at daycare at about 8-9 months of age. He learned to clean up after himself (possibly not to everyone's level of satisfaction, but still) and sing the clean up song when he was less than 2. They had circle time, learned colors, letters, shapes, the alphabet, the weather, the parts of a plant, how to use scissors, painting and tons more. If your child is not learning these things, I think your daycare is not doing their job.
So if you are going to be a SAHM because that is what you truly want then great. But if it is because you child is not learning in his current program and you would like to continue working - then I would simply find another daycare program.
I always worked and when my baby was born I became a SAHM and I love it!
I play w/my toddler inside w/toys and outside in the backyard.
I take him to the park.
We walk around stores.
If I have grocery shopping to do, I take him to the toy aisle to just look.
We go to the library.
We visit my parents.
Once in awhile he has a playdate.
I say take him somewhere most days just to get outside stimulus. It doesn't have to be every day but just for some exposure. It will help you with boredom too.
When it rained we'd go to the mall and play in the indoor play yards, possibly the carousel (spelling?).
We go get a tiny frozen yogurt once in awhile.
Yes, I left my job to stay at home. I've never been happier (although cutting the family income in half made for some major sacrifices).
Cheap activites....play dates will be easier when he is older. My daughter is 5 and we do play dates all the time where we drop her off at friends and vice versa.
Libraries have free story times, ALL churches (not just your own) have vacation bible schools in the summer. Look at all churches in your area. They are usually 3 hours a day and SUPER cheap, about $30 for a week.
Chic Filets and other restaurants have kids activities with specific times. Go to their web site locally and look it up.
If you don't know another mom with a child your age....try to meet one.
I didn't have any families I knew in my neighborhood with a child as the same age as mine. After pre school, I just approached a mother (our kids played together at school) and asked her if she was interested in setting up playdates. Best move I ever made.
I have no recently stopped working to be a SAHM. But, as for weaning him, he'll just adjust over time. Make sure give him things to do - even just playing in the backyard if you have some fun stuff out there. A water/sand table is super fun at their age. Playdough is great too. Just lots of little activities. Not that you need to do them constantly, but they do well with things like that.
BTW, I totally feel similar to you about raising your child yourself and not relying on the sweet daycare teachers. I say that with respect, knowing others are still choosing daycare. I don't mean that as any attack on anyone. Just that for me, it's very fulfilling knowing I'm the one teaching my babies...and that they get momma's love all day long. I get to be in charge of teaching them about life and what I think is important for them to learn. I love it. I love being there all the time. Anyway, I won't go on, I just loved reading that you were able and wanting to stay at home. I think it's a great thing for kids. you'll probably find it's a bit of an adjustment. You will no longer be using your brain for any sort of major brain power (like if you were an accountant, you won't be doing brain stuff like that with bieng a SAHM). You get to talk little kid talk and do little kid things all day...hehe. So be sure to have a hobby to allow for that side of you that needs to exercise more brain power:-)
I am so happy for you,your husband and your son.
I have always been a SAHM so I can't answer the first question.
Summer is approaching and all of us SAHM are in the same boat as you...our kids are used to getting dressed early and heading off to structured learning for six hours each day.
Sooooo, as each summer break approaches we go through a transition and get into a groove.
Find your groove. It will take time because YOU and your son are used to a schedule. You might try lots of different routines to find what works for you.
Personally I think your son will LOVE not having to get ready early and out the door so early. Maybe the first day you celebrate by cuddling up in bed then making his favorite breakfast...and talk about this change in the family. Talk about all the things that you will now be doing during the day to keep the house running smoothly; laundry,dishes,cleaning house, running errands etc. Let him in on the fun. Go for walks around the block, the park, the library...it doesn't have to be big adventures. Sit in the yard and talk while looking up at the clouds(my kids stll love that), go look for bugs, dig in the dirt, start a little garden.
Yes, your patience will be tested to its limit at times. Breathe and count and realize you are not alone. Find friends to meet with during the week that have kids the same age. Arrange for playdates together at fun places. I have always done babysitting swaps with friends so that I can get breaks during my week to go work in the classroom, go to dr. appt or just do something for myself. It is hard to be a SAHM if you stay home and seclude yourself from the outside world.
It warms my heart to hear you are starting this journey with your son. He is one lucky boy to have you..full time now!! And...give your husband a high five from me for supporting you in this and understanding how valuable you are "just being a mom". Good luck and best wishes!!
I was recently let go from my job as well due to a reduction in force, I have two small children who I will be keeping with me now and we are an on the go family. My kids love to be outside, swim, go to the park, free movies, etc...All of the local area theaters do free movies for the summer, usually on Wed/Thurs mornings at 10 a.m., the Library is a great place, go online and register for the story time programs at the library that is closest to you, they are great, and somewhere for everyone to go, learn skills, listen to stories, do crafts. All of these things are FREE and it will give your little one a chance to go out and about almost every day if you would like! If you want to chat more feel free to email ____@____.com
Tks T.
