Sort of JFF: Child Being Treated Younger or Older

My son is/was tall for his age and was extremely verbal at a very young age. At age 3 he sounded like a little adult when he spoke. At his preschool I found out after he'd been going there 6 months that most other parents and even one of the teachers thought he was 5 all that time and going into Kindergarten the next year! I guess they didn't notice how he was not at all socially up to par with the 5 year olds and still had 2 more years till Kindergarten. I could tell the difference though.

My 2.5 yr old is very tall and beefy. I actually had a woman be so rude as to comment that his speech was pretty slow for a 3yr old. Um, yeah... That's bc he is 2!!

I don't think he has been treated as older, but I always get comments of "oh my, he's soooooo big!" when we are at the park, or wherever someone has a child the same age. Duh, he is big! I am 5'10", and my husband is 6'5"!!

my daughter is 4 and very independant. i treat her like the average 6 year old lol sometimes i forget how young she is because smart and very welspoken way beyond her age.

My 5 yr old boy is bigger, taller, faster than all the other boys. He has been on sports teams since he was 3 yrs old and many times I've been in the stands and overheard parents discussing him. "Who's that kid? He shouldn't be allowed to play with the younger boys. He's got to be at least 6 or 7. It's not fair." I just giggle because little do they know, he's just a goof off kid that happens to be tall and fast. He doesn't care to be competitive or win, he just wants to play around, tickle, play fight, wrestle his teammates.

My 7 year old boy has always been big for his age and I would go shopping with him when he was younger and people would think he was stupid since he couldn't talk well. Then I would tell them how old he was and they would then look relieved.

My almost 5 year old girl on the other hand is small for her age and she gets mistaken for a younger kid all the time. I've gotten the "oh she talks so well for her age" She's gets mistaken for a 3 year old all the time.

I've noticed that my 5 year old gets babied more by family than my older child ever did. Also she has a cousin that is 6 weeks younger than her and he is a lot bigger than her and she always gets treated like she's way younger than he is. Like at family events my MIL will let him do stuff and then say that my daughter can't. Then I have to remind her that my daughter is actually older. It's not intentional, but still frustrating.

COUNTLESS times where out and out strangers have glared or spoken to my son (or done the ridiculous "sweet" voice when they're talking to you "through" your child).

My favorite, I've shared a couple times, so I'll make it brief. My son was around 9mo old and I had him in the baby swing at the park. He'd JUST learned to crawl. A mom of a walking toddler was insistent that he go on the "big boy swing", because HER child was only 2 or 3 and couldn't hold on yet.

Lady... he's not even a year old yet, and isn't even walking.

She didn't believe me until later when he was crawling about.

Soooooo many stories like this. "Kicked" out of toddler areas because they thought he was an elementary school kid (not because he was rough, or breaking the rules, PURELY a "This area is for children 4 and under". "He's 3!"... Well... He was over 3' tall at 2, and was 4 feet tall at 4ish/5ish). Thanks GOODNESS his growth slowed down. But at age 9, he's usually mistaken for a 12yo.

I can't tell you how many times people thought he was autistic (because normal healthy 2yo behavior in a kid someone thinks is 4 or 5 looks developmentally off), or how many times people told or insinuated that I should stop babying him. <rolls eyes>. Of course. NO 18 month old wears diapers!!! (We were in size 6 diapers at 18mo)

Conversely, because he's actually "gifted" (rather loathe that term, but hey, whatever. It's a word) that would often make the problem worse.

It's still a struggle, and has been for most of his 9 years. People place expectations on him that are FAR beyond what he's capable of. It's sooooo sad. Because he'll be working really hard on something, or trying his BEST (and doing really well for his real age!) and he gets chastised for it, or looked down upon for not doing "better" for the age they THINK he is!!!

Yes I have the opposite problem with my extremely tall and sturdy three year old who looks like she could be five. She talks really well and is advanced so people treat her like she is older than she really is which I feel is to a disadvantage to her as they expect so much from her. It has been that way her entire life.

My son turned 5 in June and went to kindergarten that fall. In our district, we have a program called Early 5's, in which summer birthdays or other parents who feel their child is not ready for kindergarten do an intense preschool experience--and start kindergarten a year later. In my son's kindergarten class were two boys who were physically very like my son--who is fast, tall, and, while not particularly athletic, he DOES know how to move his body to get it to do what he wants it to, so things like field day and gym come easily to him. Anyway, these two boys had both done Early 5's--and one of them was a full 12 months older than my son. Needless to say, the teacher was frustrated with my son, because he was impulsive (which is still a problem; it's how he's wired) and not as "ready" for kindergarten as these kids who had already done a pre-kindergarten sort of class. I think, at 5, he definitely NEEDED to go to kindergarten, not wait another year, but the teacher was definitely geared more toward those kids who already had a year in--but were the same size as my kid.

At the pool my younger child was not allowed in the deep end, they said he was too small. He is in level 4 swim class and can swim better than many adults.

My niece is enormous! Not fat, but she's seven now, and taller than her 12 year old sister! She's such a girly girl too, and very funny, but I'm sure she's headed to being a pro tennis player.

i have the opposite problem, and i have to watch that i don't "baby" my son, because i am constantly trying to compensate for everyone thinking he's older than he is. my son is 5 and has always been in the 95th-97th percentile for both height and weight. when he was little, he was ahead of the curve developmentally so it wasn't AS much of an issue...but now he is a very normal, active, goofy 5 year old boy - and as big as, or bigger than, the 6 and 7 year olds in our neighborhood, who tend to bully and pick on him, because he's as big as they are and can keep up with them, but isn't on the same level socially. he also has a late birthday, so he's not even in kindergarten yet.

i also get "looks" from other adults at times, and i do think that they're thinking he should be quieter, or more still, or more calm, than he is. part of that is his personality, but he IS only 5. so no, he doesn't sit still or act like the age he looks. i feel your pain!