Special Mamas of 'Challenged' Kiddos

Have you considered a Montessori school? They have multi age classrooms and kids learn at their own pace. While she may never leave her level, she might feel comfortable there as long as she acts like a typical 5 or 6 year old. But know not all Montessori schools will be right since it is not a copywrited name and anyone can use it. Look for an AMI or AMS accredited school (I'm a parent, not an administrator). The you'll know it's the real thing.

FYI The Children's House (preschool) age range is usually 33 months - 6; Elementary is usually 1-3 grade, 4-6 grade though it depends on the school

I really applaud your thinking creatively about this, and your love for your daughter shines through every word you write.

BUT, in real life, I think it's unlikely a public school system would agree. The schools just aren't set up to be that flexible. And if your daughter has a developmental age of 5 at the age of 15, she won't learn at the same rate as neurotypical 5 yr olds. if I were a principal, I'd be reluctant to stick her in a classroom where she'd get very little individualized attention and where the teacher had no special needs training.

More importantly, though, where do you see her life going when she ages out of the school system? Will she be in a group home, or adult day care? I ask b/c she'll probably eventually be with peers who are physically larger. Do you really want to teach her that the only acceptable friends are people of the same height?

My recommendation would be to focus on the lesson "friends can be short and tall" - a very kinder-friendly lesson in respecting diversity. Finally, "everything I needed to know..." is beautiful and sweet, but i'd caution against over-romanticizing kindergarten. Yes, the kids are cute, but there's plenty of teasing and proto-bullying in that age group. I'd venture that in any school building, the kindest, most respectful space is the special ed classroom.

Best wishes,

Mira

I believe you have a valid issue to not want your daughter with other disabled children more than twice her size. I do, however, agree that a "typical class" may not be the right match for her either. Mostly because regular classroom teachers just aren't qualified to deal with the specific physical and educational demands of children disabilities. In the absence of an aid (shadow) being assigned to your daughter, it is likely that mainstreaming is not feasible. t can't speak to the specifics of your school district, but where my son goes to special Pre-K, they have classes somewhat organized on the basis of functional abilities of the students. Perhaps finding a class where the children are closer to your daughter's physical size, but where she could still have the possibility to be educationally challenged is a better compromise. Somewhere in the elementary school level of special needs, perhaps?

Of course without knowing all the specifics of your daughter's abilities and needs, this is all just supposition. Mostly, I am in favor of the Mom Instinct. If your gut is saying it is a bad idea to put her in a class with kids ages 15 to 21, don't do it. Ask the school administration what their next offer is and keep pushing until you find something you can work with. We're not given these children to be popular. They come to us because we are warriors. :-)

Frankly, the problem is that you are asking for special accommodation for your child and such "exceptions" cost money. I assume that your child needs additional assistance in school? Your school district had decided for a setting that groups "special needs" kids, therefore probably pooling resources and saving money. In a system that does not generally places special needs kids in their general population classrooms it requires administrative resources to do this for a single child (even if this is the perfect setting for your child) and this equals work and money.
I am not sure about your state but in ours schools are cash strapped to the breaking point and they simply will not and probably can not provide anything that goes beyond the bare requirements. Your district does provide basic education for your child, and while she surely would be deserving of the experience, I don't think it's something you can expect from a public school.
Please understand that I am not saying that their approach is right, or fair or even ok, but with the state of public education funding being what it is, well it is what it is, and that means sometimes it is not ideal.
Now that said, there are many private school that take pride in providing an integrating approach that support classroom with students of all abilities and often different ages. If this is something that is important for you maybe consider contacting a few Montessori, waldorf, or other alternative private schools and find someone willing to work with you.

I keep going back to the same thought: why is the school district against this? Are they incapable of providing appropriate care for your daughter? From a health standpoint, do they believe she is at risk within a standard KG classroom?

& more one thought: other than this is what you want for your child, what do you hope to achieve thru this year of KG for your daughter? Since she's already been thru two years of standardized KG, what do you want for her? Is it your desire to keep repeating KG? Doesn't the district have a similar class available with younger children? Would this be a better option? :)

which brings me to: how do you believe the proposed class would not benefit your child? Is it her size alone that makes you question this placement? Wouldn't her educational experience be specifically geared toward her specific needs?

Help! I don't know enough to be much help for you. I responded with these thoughts simply because they really jumped out at me. Please don't see offense in any of my words! I truly wish you Peace. :)

she sounds like a sweetheart.
so do you.
and yes, your daughter is darn sure tootin' entitled to a FAPE.
but public schools are by their nature limited in what they offer. they cannot possibly be all things to all kids under all circumstances. and they ARE trying, and it sounds like they're actually doing a pretty good job, of providing your daughter with a safe situation that does indeed address her special needs, even if you're not seeing eye-to-eye on the best way for your particular daughter to be handled.
and that's really why there are other educational opportunities available. rather than battling a beleaguered and cash-strapped school to do more, i'd look at other venues.
kids without special needs also have to lump it in public schools, in classes and settings that don't really suit them or let them develop to their fullest potential. in your situation i'd find a homeschool community that is open to special needs 'children' (and most groups are) and start developing your own kindergarten setting where your daughter CAN be the leader you see in her and have the opportunity to play with *other* 5 year olds. and the parents of most homeschooled kids would welcome the opportunity to have their kids be friends with someone like your daughter. a wide-ranging group of friends in both interests and ages is one of the things most of us groove on.
good luck!
khairete
S.

I would try a preschool or other setting that you would pay for as an experimental trial to see what happens before "fighting" the schoolboard on this. I understand what you are looking for I get your plea and as a parent I would not have an issue with it if you daughter were in my son's class (my son is a year behind mentally and a few years ahead physically) except if she is physically weakend the kids may play too roughly with her. Have you gotten in writing WHY the school is opposed to the idea? Have you spoken with said school's teachers to see their take on the situation? I would get as many perspectives on this as possible if you choose to fight this and get your daughter said placement.

From what you are telling us, I'm behind you 100%. It seems insane that the school system wants your precious, tiny, special daughter in with large HS students!!!

How can anybody know if it is a "good" or "bad" idea if nobody has try it before?
Any change for good change has always stared some place, and probably at the begging many would think it was not possible.
I can wait to see what happen at the Y, and I would go from there.
No matter what happen from here Cat, I guaranty you, that you have put a thought in more then one person today, and just that is a amazing begging!
=*)

I think the problem with this will ultimately be that soon every parent of a handicapped or disabled child will soon want to do something similar for their child - to have their child in a less restrictive environment, even if it's not quite appropriate. And having said yes to one parent, the school district is in effect making policy, and will be forced to say yes to other parents as well, and the end result will be that disabled children will be in inappropriate environments, where they will not only be unsafe & get nothing out of the experience, but they will be a distraction to the rest of the student body as well.