Spin off from Another question...What Is Your Relationship with Your Dad?

Well my Dad already passed away.
But he was the BEST Dad ever.
We were real close.
He knew me.... and accepted me for who I was.
That is golden.
I miss him always.

Interesting question. My relationship with my dad was strained. He traveled all the time and I never really knew him and he never knew me. His thought was "I have a teenage daughter and I'm not going to be miserable she will be." He was controling and I rebelled. This continued up until a few years ago when my Mom got sick.

I am an HR manager in a union environment. He worked for a large corporation as their National Operations Manager and would deal with unions as well. Actually, I am the female version of my dad only nicer! :) I dropped out of college when I was younger and got married. I went back to school and graduated in 2001. His comment at my graduation party was "I knew you were smart but you always have to do things the hardest way possible." Really?

My son is very much like me and my dad which rubbed my dad the WRONG way. He and my son had a strained relationship up until my mom got sick.

When my mom got sick my Dad CHANGED. He is an amazing man. I can't tell you how impressed I have been with the care and love he has given my Mother. I have a whole new respect for him and he has a new respect for me. We talk on the phone several times a week. I worry since he lives alone that something might happen and no one would know. He is in China right now on a trip with a friend.

So to answer the question, the silver lining in this shitty disease that my Mom has is that I now have a great relationship with my Dad. We have a very special bond now.

I have always looked up to my dad. He's an amazing father, husband and grandfather. Even though I'm married with kids now, I still ask his advice on things...so does my hubby. He has this way to talking to someone that makes everything easier...'you should do it this way because...'. But...he never pushes is way on anyone! He's just very smart and knows what he is talking about! I try not to argue an issue with him because I know I will lose!

We had a very special bond when I was growing up. I was his first born and I think he was hoping for a boy...because I was/am the biggest tomboy! He was an amazing baseball and football player growing up until he blew his knee out in college. He passed that on to my with playing softball...I played thru college. We still play catch when we visit!

And we love to talk sports...especially the St. Louis Cardinals. He's awesome!

Ugh - NO! I may talk to my dad once or twice a year if we are even that lucky. Once I dopped out of college and marriend my husband I was "worthless" in his eyes. Oh well, his loss, not ours!

My dad at best, is breathing... he has very little personality, interests, and time for anyone else. I think it was from his poor child life and his dad was so super abusive and demeaning. I dont think I could ever had been able to handle living with my paternal grandfather.

He was not the most interactive dad, he couldn't remember our names sometimes. He was a good dad. Not abusive in any way, but not loving either for 3 of his 4 kids. He was hard working, brought home every cent for his kids, but just not supportive or interested. He also had self-esteem issues and loves to lie and tell huge whoppers, that further alienated him from having any friends or even family that wanted to talk to him.
He did however love and show love for me, its why my siblings to this day call me spoiled, and brat. He talked to me, showed me how to do things, would cuddle with me during movies. He only gave me hugs, and would buy me things on occasion. He even came to a couple of my plays and concerts in High School and he never did with the others. It was a curse and a blessing for me. I had the best relationship with him over my siblings, but yet it alienated me from my siblings. As I got older, he lost interest in me and my goings on. He did become great friends with my ex-husband, while we were married. When we divorced he was actually ticked at me for divorcing my loser husband. He still stayed friends and sided with my ex about arguments.
Now that my mom passed, he has no time for any of his kids, including the sister that lives with him in his house and helps him take care of the land and home. He is too busy chasing as many women he can. He seems to pick the ones that are older and in poor health, cause they keep passing away on him. The other day I called him for his birthday, and when it took him a few minutes to figure it was me, he asked me how my 2 daughters were, I said fine, but what about your grandson... he says "you have a boy?" Yes dad R is almost 2 now, you came for his birthday in Oct remember" OH yeah I thought that was your sisters son. Hmmmm seems he really thinks so much about us. I dont know I love him, but I think my poor father has some mental issues.

Actually, although I love my Dad, I did not have a great relationship with him growing up. He tried to be controlling. He traveled quite a bit and almost had a separate life from the rest of the family. We knew he loved us, but on his terms.

Now my Dad is a very old man and I take care of him. Our relationship is better...... he needs me now. He talks to me more and I have learned to know him better. It's still about him to some degree but I can accept that now.

Yes, we have a bond. Special........... not sure about that.

growing up I was not close to my dad. We fought daily. He was very mean and verbally abusive to me. He would call me stupid and worthless. About 9 years ago he called me up on the phone and started crying and said he was so sorry for how he treated me and asked me to forgive him. Since then we are a little closer. There are scars that will be there forever, but he has changed his ways and we are ok. Not close or anything, but better than before.

I wish. My birth dad was MIA and my adoptive father was a jerk and disowned us. I very much miss my grandfather, though. He wasn't the type to spill all your secrets to, but he was overall kind, funny and supportive of his pack of grandkids. My uncle (passed far too young) was also very important in my life. Not a father but an honest, hardworking guy who didn't let any of his girls (nieces included) believe that women couldn't do anything they wanted.

Not having had a good father makes it all the more important for me that DH is a good father (to all the kids, but the girls in particular). Real men, IMO, change diapers and attend tea parties.

My mom literally got pregnant by the boy next door when she was 18. He never married her, I'm an only child. Shortly after I was born, he got another girl pregnant, married her, had 2 boys. In all my almost 45 years, my mom has been in touch with his parents, yet he has NEVER made an attempt to meet me or even contact me. So I have NO relationship with him. Luckily, my moms dad was a wonderful father figure to me. Thank God for grandpas. RIP gramps, I miss you dearly.

I LOVE my father. He is fun and funny and just terrific. But we did clash a lot as I was growing up, especially during the high school years. Actually, we clashed a lot a lot a lot. I remember once asking my mother why my father just couldn't see things from my perspective, and she just shook her head and looked kind of sad. I know our relationship bothered her then. If there was going to be fighting in the family, it was between my father and me. If there was yelling in our house, the two of us were doing it.

Weirdly enough, almost the moment I moved out of the house, our relationship improved, and over the years, it has improved further. Now, we get along really great, and yes, I think we have a special bond.

Looking back, I think the problem is that we're too similar. We both like to be in charge, we both are slightly OCD, we're both extremely opinionated, and two people with that personality couldn't live comfortably under one roof. Now, our opinions don't clash so much (we mostly agree with each other), we can overlook the other's little quirks since we don't live together, and we get to be in charge of our own households. And my father is an awesome FIL and an even better grandpa. ^_^

We bumped heads a lot when I was a kid, but we were psychically connected and could have a conversation without opening our mouths. We had our tender moments that were usually too deep for comfort. When I became an adult, he appreciated and respected my no-nonsense approach. He knew that I would not fall for much foolishness in life. He always knew that I would be just fine. When he was ill, I had the honor and pleasure of caring for him before he died. When it got to the point where he was "out of it", he was still asking for me. He trusted me. He held on for me. After his body left us, he stayed in contact with me and introduced me to my husband. I miss him only when I want to be in his arms and/or hold him in mine. I miss him when I want to take a picture of him holding my baby who looks just like him and my husband. Otherwise, he is very present.

The only, only ONLY good thing to come out of my mother's death is the deepened relationship with my father. My dad has always been good to me and a good provider, a solid individual, etc. I'm 42, and like many dads (or really almost all) used to be, he went to work, brought home the money and wasn't really "hands on" in the day-to-day raising of me, but he was always affectionate. We always bonded over fishing trips and we still love to go fishing. Once I was older, it was clear we do NOT see eye-to-eye about a number of political issues -although he's quite socially liberal, his bottom line is money.

My mom always kind of kept me to herself, and since I am a daughter instead of a son, I think that was what my dad was comfortable with. We have really gotten much closer since her death though -over the last two years. I call him every day to check on him and make sure he's got plans and is doing okay. He's very active in my two little boys' lives -and he enjoys them tremendously. I kind of look at our deepened relationship as the final gift my mom gave us both. Yes, he's crusty sometimes and he loves to get on rants about politics and act like he's "educating" us about certain issues, but I've learned to let it go in one ear and out the other. If he gets too heated, I simply say my refrain of, "We know we're not going to change each other's minds, so let's talk about something else." He's a smart man though -and fair, honest with a kind heart. I love him dearly!

I definitely don't have the sugary sweet "Daddy's Girl" relationship with my dad. We're not huggy and affectionate. He worked a lot when I was growing up (at first to make tons of money, later to avoid my mom). My parents divorced in my 20's, but I have no anger or resentment towards him over that.

Through my teens and 20's, I spoke to him maybe a couple times a year. At one point, he was dating a woman who hated me (and vice versa). She was nasty to me one too many times so I stopped calling and coming around. I did not speak to my father for TWO YEARS! It's not like he was calling and I wouldn't answer. I stopped calling him and he never tried to contact me. Not birthdays, not Christmas, nothing.

The only reason I'm even speaking to him now is because of my husband. When we got pregnant with our first child, he made me go speak to my dad and give him one more chance. We've been friendly ever since. He sees the kids 2-4 times a month, every birthday, every holiday. It's like those missing two years never happened. He's a wonderful Grandpa and the kids adore him. But it sure would be nice to get an apology for the two years he let some nasty woman come between us.

I wouldn't say we have that special bond, but I would say I know he loves me. And I would drop everything to help him. I'm presently trying to get him to move into our neighborhood so the kids can see him more and I can be more helpful as he ages.

My mom, on the other hand, that's a whole other ball of wax. She and I do not get along! I swear every little thing she does angers me!

I finally just realized around 3 years ago that my dad actually does love and care for me! My stepmother died 4 years ago from cancer and that's when he remembered that he had two daughters. He would do anything for me now, but honestly, it's too late. Our relationship is pretty one sided; he tries to connect with me but but most of the time, I barely tolerate him. Luckily, my husband has always had a good relationship with both of his parents and he is a fantastic dad and I know he would never abandoned his children in the way that my dad did with me. I used to be jealous of my friends and their dads, but I've grown to accept it and now it's just too much of a bother to me to have a relationship with my dad.

Mixed, I would say. He was pretty great most of the time when all four of us were little. He didn't know what to do with girls hitting puberty. He was a big cause of my eating disorder all through high school and into college. He called my mom "fat" every day and when he started calling me "fat" (yeah, I weighed a little over a 100 lbs), I stopped eating (I showed him!).

Once I was gone for college, he figured out how to touch and hug me again. We were pretty good then, though he never understood my desires to get a real education and leave the farm. When my mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 36, he learned to talk on the phone and he tried harder to have a closer relationship and so did I.

He was thrilled when I had my daughter at 41. He died last August at 78 and we were closer than ever right at the end. I miss him.

My dad passed away about 5 years ago, but we did have a great relationship. He had a great relationship with all three of us. He was so calm and understanding. We never hesitated to talk to him about anything. And he loved his girls. I always felt sorry for him because he didn't have a son so I really tried to be that "son." I went to Raider football games with him and even sat with him and watched on TV because he was always watching alone. He made wonderful furniture - the man was definitely talented.

I miss him every day!

I have a special relationship with both my real dad and step dad. I was raised my entire life with my step dad, it wasn't until I was about 10 when my mom introduced me to my real dad. My real did isn't as involved in my life as I would like but he's literally the old fashioned country man. He's a gentleman, would give you the shirt off his back kind of guy, but hates computers lol. His gf always talks to me and tells him how we are doing and shows him pictures of his grandsons. Me and my step dad are really close too. My mom and him divorced about a year and half ago and they both married other people but I still consider him my dad because he raised me as his own and I could never cut that bond. He and I skype all the time seeing as I am living in South Korea right now. He's more electronic literate lol since he has his own water business so it's easier for him to get my messages and see my facebook page and stuff. I absolutely love my relationships with both my dads.

My dad passed away many many years ago, but unfortunately, I hardly spoke with him after the age of 13. Even though we all lived together, he was into his business ventures, and my mom pretty much dealt with the kids. My mom didn't give much attention to me either, so it's taken many years to get over the feeling of isolation ad abdonment. Thankfully, by DH is very involved with my DD.

I am the only girl with 3 brothers, I was daddys girl until I turned 15 then my dad snapped, he decided I or my younger brother didnt need him any more and i spoke to him maybe 20 times before he died 5 years ago. I was 27. he didnt know my girls, nor did he want to know them. I still have "daddy issues" to this day.

Let me start by saying no parent is perfect and even children have their own personalities which at times may conflict with their parents. That being said, my dad is my world. We have had our rough patches but all in all we have been each others rock (as adults). He coached my little league while working 60 hrs a week, went on my kindegarten field trip, he got lucky and ended up being off that day. He didn't work a job where you got paid days off. He attended my Brownie outings, even falling flat on his back rollerskating (he's 6'2", so that's a fall...lol) When he had bypass surgery at 47 I was living at home with my son & changed my work hours so I could help him and take care of the house during the day, so my mom could go to work. When my mom was sick I would end up over there just b.s.ing so he would have someone to talk to. I would do anything for him. He is 63 and the Drs said he shouldn't still be here but he is. It was 4 yrs ago when the Drs said that & said that he wouldn't be here another year that I realized he was truly my best friend. He went/goes to all of my son's soccer, basketball games with me. Sometimes we would have 6 in a weekend & they would be over an hour a part. Nobody else would do that with m & he enjoyed it. He's been the father to my oldest that my oldest never had. His health has made it hard in the most recent years but he still tries.

While I have a horrible relationship with my mom my relationship with my dad was great. He was supportive of anything I did, taught me wonderful life skills, very loving and all around a great dad. We had that daddy/daughter bond. He died when I was 19. It's been almost 20 years and I still miss him every day like crazy. He missed my college graduation, marriage, births of my children, all those things you want your dad to be there for. He would have loved my husband.

My dad and I have a very special bond. I am not all that bonded to my mother (described in the question this is a spin off from.) He was my best friend growing up, and I still count him as one of my closet allies. One thing my dad did for me, was always let me be me. We are actually polar opposites! I am quiet, artistic, personal. Things he's not, and doesn't necessarily relate to in any way. He always encourage me, told me I was perfect, how special I was, to never settle. I think I can give him the credit, for me never having a bad relationship with a man. He's one of the best man you could meet, I had a really high standard.

Interesting question!

My dad has ALWAYS been there for me. I am the second oldest of 5 kids, and the middle girl...I have always felt a strong bond with my dad. My dad was in the Navy until I was a sophomore in hs, so he was on deployments and my mom was stuck with it all. But she did such an amazing job! My mom and I are like best friends now, but my dad is always there.

He is always so calm and reassuring. He never pressures me to make any decisions and will just talk me through the pros and cons. He is always there for me - I don't have to question it.

I am so blessed to have the relationship I have with my dad.

As great as my husband can be, he makes some bonehead choices sometimes and at 8, I already know my daughter does not have the same bond with him that I have with my dad and it breaks my heart.

My dad is one of my best friends, love him to death. I have a close bond with him, always have. We tease him that my youngest sister was his favorite, but all 4 of us girls say our daddy was the best daddy ever! He always made me feel special. I live a mile from my parents, so I see them a lot. Him and I go to my son's ball games all the time, just like him and my grandpa went to all my ball games. He loves all his grandkids and they all know it. He love taking us places growing up, he loves making us smile. Even when I messed up in my 20's, got a DUI, he showed up at my court appointment, I didn't even know he was going to be there. I was at a bad place in my life, but my daddy never gave up on me.
I LOVE him so much, he means the world to me. He'll be 62 this summer but he has COPD really bad, and we've came close to losing him a few times. He won't put down the cigarettes. I can't imagine my life without him, I really can't. He truly is a wonderful man, and a great daddy!!!

I wish I could say that my father and I had/have a good relationship, but we didn't/don't. My father left and divorced my mother when I was 10 months old and only used his visitation rights every 6 years when my mother took him back to court for child support. During those times, I would only see him three or four times (until court was wrapped up), and then I wouldn't see him for six more years.

By the time I turned 18 I had pretty much hardened myself against him. I was no longer angry (a little, but not really), nor no longer sad. However, after I had kids he wanted to be apart of their life, and I let him simply because I had had the most awesome grandfather (his dad; I know he loved me, but I think he also felt guilty that his son was such a ____), and I wanted my kids to have that.

Well, the relationship has been difficult and very trying at times. He remarried and had a daughter, who he dotes on--as he does her kids, while me and mine are often left out. MartyMOMMA's dad and mine seem to have fallen from the same tree because my dad is insecure and lies ALL THE TIME about everything. I usually just roll my eyes and not say anything. Except when he starts lying about my mother or grandfather. I am not rude, but I will correct him. I will not have my children hear lies about the people who loved me and raised me, especially when he chose to do neither.

Sorry for the rant. I guess I am still angry after all. Long and short of it: No, I did not have a great relationship with my dad, but I try to move past it for the sake of my kids--until it will be more painful to my children than healthy.