Hi all, My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and we want to start potty training but am a little nervous about the process. A few months ago, he showed some interest. I made a potty chart and bought a bunch of stickers and my son and I decorated his potty chairs to make the whole thing fun and show that the chairs belong to him. He went pee two times and after that refused to go. I read that I should back off for awhile and try again. At that time we also bought pull-ups for him to wear and called them big boy underwear. They were the kind that got cold when he peed in them. It didn't phase him. He still would pee in them and not say anything. He's the type that will poop in his diaper and be fine sitting it in until I notice and still put up a fight having his diaper changed.
We've also put off potty training for a while because he has a new sister. I read too much change at once will be counter-productive. She is now 4 months old. So, I think this is a good time to start. The holiday stress is over, he's used to and loves his new sister. I think the best course of action would be to just buy regular underwear and deal with the messes for awhile until he gets it.
How often should I take him to his potty? How do I deal with him screaming no that he doesn't want to go? Is rewarding with an M&M a terrible way to do it? He loves M&M's and I read the whole sticker chart thing doesn't mean much to a 2 1/2 yr old that doesn't understand that a reward will come later. Any other suggestions or help would be great!
Thanks.
I don't think there is anything wrong with offering one m&m. My daughter was pretty good with peeing on the potty, but we bribed her with jelly beans for pooping on the potty. It wasn't hard to break her of it once she was really potty trained either. Good Luck!
I have 2 1/2 year old twins, one's a boy and one's a girl. Our daughter decided one weekend a little over a month ago that she would go on the potty and we've had few accidents since. She's in big girl underwear except for nap time and bed time. (Before that weekend, we tried to get her to go since she was showing some interest, and much like your son she screamed and cried no.) My son is showing some interest, but is no where near ready like my daughter was. He sometimes asks and goes on the potty, but that is usually after he's already gone in his diaper and only squeezes out a few drops. I have friends whose sons are about 3 months older than my kids and their boys aren't potty trained yet.
My thoughts are, take the pressure of him and you--it may still be too early. When we were trying to grab a hold of my daughter's mild interest early on, I talked with a woman I know who has been a lead teacher at a pretty large day care center for 15+ years, and asked her advice. She said leave her in her diapers, and let her lead. Have patience--pushing them won't work. And sure enough, when we backed off and let her lead the whole thing, she jumped on it and never looked back. She also said Pull Ups are a waste of time/money. I must admit that we use them for nap time and bed time just because of the ease of taking them on/off.
(She mentioned too taht if a kid is asking for a diaper to poop, that's not a step backward. They are still recognizing that they have to go, but aren't comfortable with the idea of sitting on the potty. She said potty training the poops takes forever! My daughter asks for a diaper, then goes in a corner somewhere and poops, and we immediately clean her up and put her underwear back on.)
Anyway, just my two cents. Hope it helps, and GOOD LUCK!
My son is also 2 1/2 and we started potty training the week before Christmas. He also has a new brother. Jeremiah has the same attitude toward pottying as your son. What have done is figure out when he needs to go typically and just take him the the potty at those times (usually a little before to anticipate him... hopefully help him "feel" the potty feeling). Our potty times are right after he wakes up, about an hour or so after breakfast (or juice/snack), right before naptime, after naptime, etc...
Figuring out the times that are most likely for him to have to go and just enforcing it has been the best way for us. If I ask Jeremiah if he wants to or needs to go, he ALWAYS says no. So I just take him.
M&Ms are a fine reward... we used that early on with Jeremiah, but he didn't understand that he actually had to go on the potty to get them. So far, cheering and praise works really well for him (probably better than the treats) because he gets to tell Daddy (or anyone else around) that he went potty and gets high-fives.
Since this is my first time potty-training, this is the best I have to offer... we're not even successful yet; but hopefully will be soon!
Good luck. :-)
One thing that worked well for my boys was to have them "shoot" targets in the toilet. We just had them use the toilet since they were tall enough to reach. Someone recommended to use Cheerios or something like that, but I found they were just as excited to shoot little pieces of toilet paper. Each kid is different, though, so this is just one thing to try.
Another thing that was suggested to me, but that I never tried was to set a timer. Make a game of it and get really excited and have him try every 15 minutes (or whatever you decide is a good amount of time). Then when he's successful make a big deal out of it and give him a treat or something.
One way our sticker chart worked was to have the kid pick out a toy and keep the toy in the bathroom. Then after so many stickers they get the toy. Having the reward in the bathroom with the chart so they can see what they're working toward seemed to help.
My youngest is 18mos so I'll be jumping back into the potty training thing soon myself. Good luck!
Hi T.:
I am a daycare provider, so I've trained my share of kids... This comes from no book, so you can take it for what it's worth.
1. Set the date and there is no going back.... once I start to train, I don't go backwards and I don't change the routine based on what is convenient, meaning that I don't do diapers on a day that we have errands to run. The potty chair comes with and we are training NO MATTER WHAT!
2. I don't use pull-ups. They feel just like diapers and wick the moisture away from their skin. I do regular underwear or the kind that have the extra absorbant liner with plastic covers to protect the outside world from the process. If you have pull-ups you can put those over the underwear also so that you furniture and carpeting are not ruined.
3. I start out training in the morning and put the kids on as soon as they wake (or get to my house). Then we go once before and once after breakfast and every hour between meals. Each time the kids sit until they potty or for 5 minutes.
4. I do not reward with food (that is a personal decision), but I've found that "arm stickers" also known as press on tattoos work GREAT. At the end of the day they can see their success throughout the day and we can count how well they've done. As the success progresses and you are suddenly looking at a toddler with full sleeve arm tattoos, you can change the reward system by giving one when they are dry for 1/2 day or a whole day. They also wipe off easily with baby oil.
5. Accident's are NEVER ok. I don't scold or shame, but I also never set the tone that an accident in the pants is ok. I feel that this too is confusing, because if it is ok to have an accident in the beginning, at some point it will no longer be ok, and I am not sure that kids can process why that is. Just like we have expectations for how kids behave in a restaurant, or in church, or how they treat you or their friends, we have expectations for where poop and potty belong.
This is long, but I hope it helps.
GOOD LUCK!
My son is 3 and had problems too. I thought it would never happen. (He still has not pooped on the potty yet) I found that just putting him in underwear is what really helped. I just decided one day to do it and deal with the mess but surprisingly there has been very few accidents. I found in the beginning just bringing him to the potty instead of asking him was better. I would do it at least every hour and half or two hours. I don't think there is anything wrong with using pullups for sleep until you notice he is dry for several days in a row. I have not found that yet plus since he wont poop yet in the potty I don't want him to become constipated because he otherwise holds it. Good luck.
Well my son is 3 1/2 and is still not potty trained. We are now on our third attempt and I still don't think he is ready. He doesn't tell us when he is wet or poopy. He knows that potty and poopy go in the toliet but he also thinks that everything else should go in there too. I also don't think he has figured out that when he gets that "feeling" that he needs to tell us or go and sit on the potty. I think each child has their own pace with this and I strongly believe that one day a light will come on and he will just start doing it but until that day we just encourage him as much as possible and we have a routine that we do with him and we don't push it.
I always thought he should have been potty trained by now but have talked with other moms and found out that boys are harder to potty train and take longer. My nephew in fact is 5 and is still not completely potty trained - he has trouble during the night.
J.
if he doesnt want to go, you cant make him. if hes fighting you, dont push it. you will just make it a power struggle, and it will make it worse. he WILL become potty trained, but the best choice is to wait until he is ready and interested. if you can get him to sit on the potty and be interested once a day, thats progress. if you can get him to actually pee there, thats another step. if you can get him to twice a day, thats another step. one at a time, slowly. dont expect him to be trained in a day. some kids can, but most kids wont. if he doesnt want to, theres nothing you can do to change that.
one thing i did was put books and small toys or something in the bathroom, and my son could only use/read them when he was on the potty. it kept his interest for a couple minutes.
rewarding with an m&m isnt a horrible thing, as long as you can get to the point where you dont have to do it every time. my son started that way. but he wasnt throwing a tantrum when he went either. thats a sure sign that hes not interested, not ready, doesnt care, whatever.
do what you've gotta do, but i say its not going to help if he isnt taking the lead with it, and in fact is going to make it worse if you make him go when hes clearly not into it. take him in there when you go, tell him what you are doing, be an example, let him sit on the potty in his clothes if hes interested in it. but dont push. ;)
