Stay at Home or Continue to Work?

You have a really good list. I can't think of any additional financial concerns to mention, but I wanted to share my personal story. I lost my job about a year and a half ago and I've been home with my kids since. I LOVE being able to get my oldest off of the school bus and have her homework done before dinner. It makes our nights much more relaxed. And I love the time I get to spend with my youngest. I don't want to lie to you though - it was a really big adjustment for me. At first, I felt a little lost. I didn't have any stay at home mom friends, so I felt somewhat isolated during the day. Over time, I feel like this has changed. I joined a playgroup, met people at the library and am pretty happy with my social life now. I still sometimes feel a little weird about not having my work life identity. I got my first job delivering newspapers when I was 11 and have worked since then. So it was (and still is) weird not to work. That is still a struggle for me, but I can honestly say that I can't picture working full time anymore. In the end, it will be a big decision. Just make sure you and your husband are on the same page - if you don't see eye to eye the transition will be that much harder. I wish you the best of luck with your decision and your new baby!

I don't see where you've allotted for the cost of the new baby
- clothes, diapers $20 a week, wipes $20 a month, formula $20 a week.
- car seat/nursery needs
- Dr. appts
- Prescriptions
- Over the counter medicines
- the daily soda/ coffee stop

Try living on just hubby's income starting now. Put your whole paycheck into a seperate savings or checking acct. Then track how often you have to access that account.

I think that spending time with your children is always a good thing. But your house work will increase like crazy and you'll be spending tons of time just playing catch up on housework and not getting to actually have time with the kids. Having the kids home during the day where they are constantly making messes and other things is so hard some days. I know that when I work full time my house stays cleaner longer due to us coming in, eating dinner, having some playtime, bathing, then bed. Not a lot of time for demolishing the house.

I think that going back to work is not such a bad thing. If you have even a fairly good insurance plan then I would work just for that alone, not to mention the retirement money you'd be losing in the long run.

So I don't know. Insurance is a bid deal to me. I don't have any and it stinks.

I'm very conservative financially so I think it's great you're looking at the financial impact if you stay home. But if it's kind of borderline whether your job will bring home a lot after the cost of care for 3, I'd look at the stress working may bring. Is your job pretty flexible? Is your husband's? Obviously one more child means higher odds every day that a child is sick and someone needs to stay home. And getting 3 out the door has to be at least a little harder than 2. And as kids get older, they need more help with homework etc. Getting home after work w/ 3 kids and then starting projects is going to be harder too than 2. So I'd take into account how much your husband can help at home. If it's not much, he travels a fair amount etc, I'd seriously consider staying home unless you'll still net a lot of $ after paying for 3 kids' care. I always felt like I'd need to quit my job if we had 3 kids but of course there are working moms with 3 kids. It just seems even more stressful and that you're spreading yourself even thinner with responsibilities and also making sure each child gets enough attention.

But out the frill packages on your TV so you'll have just basic channels. You can get netflix instant watch which would give you access to movies and shows (much cheaper than the expanded channels on most of the cable tv packages). Or if your library has dvds available use them for free and save even more.

Clothes at the consignment store, tag sales, hand me downs from friends. My daughter gets a lot of jackets and all boots and rain coats at Savers or Goodwill for next to nothing. Kids grow so fast that you can get really good quality clothes for a fraction of the cost of new.

I would say look at how you feel about things after the baby has arrived and it's time to return to work. I was in a similar situation after our first baby was born. My income and insurance was better than my hubby's. However, by age 2 of my daughter, the decision was made for me when I was terminated from my job. Later I realized that being here with my kids (now we have 2) is what's more important. Yes, there is a financial struggle but we've made it through month after month. I have a way of earning money from home and getting my kid from the school bus stop means so much to me; especially now since we are in a new neighborhood.

You asked what are you leaving out. Have you written out a list of benefits to being a SAHM? Everything you listed deals with the finances.

Ali:

You have a nice list. the most important "test" is to see if you can live on one income. You have a few months to see if you can live off your husband's salary only. If you can't do that - then it may not be right for you to stay home.

Use this time to take your salary and pay down/off any debt you may have.

Go through the house and collect things that you are not using, have outgrown, etc. and sell either at a garage sale or via ebay and craigslist to get money in the door to pay off debts.

Take this time to shop around for private insurance after the baby is born. You might be able to get better insurance for less than the company is offering you. It's NOT COBRA - it's health insurance. Our private insurance for a family of 4 is now $513 per month...no office co-pays, vaccinations and well child check up - all covered - major medical deductible of $5K.

If you know you won't be tending the garden this summer you are right not to include it - therefore you will have a higher grocery bill.

Go through and see how much you've spent on clothing for your job, kids, etc. you will still need clothes...maybe just not as expensive as you have been getting (assumption here).

Call around and find out if you can get a better rate on home owners insurance, car insurance, etc. - maybe if you bundle it together you can save money?

Call around to see if you can get a better rate on your cell phone lines as well.

Call the cable company - see if you can bundle packages and save money there.

GOOD LUCK!

I would make sure that you go back to work after the baby is born for a little while, but that's just me. Making sure that your baby is healthy and that there are no dire medical issues while you still have your company medical insurance is very important. Find out exactly what it entails to put your family on your husband's medical. You may only have a window to do that when the baby is born, and you need to know that instead of waiting and possibly getting caught unawares.

I agree with the lady who mentioned factoring in diapers and formula. Also remember that with your husband's high priced insurance, that you will need to pay your deductibles, and that's harder without a paycheck.

Good luck with your decision,
Dawn

I don't know what kind of work you do, but would it maybe be possible to do some work from home for your company? That way you still would get some income but you wouldn't need daycare, car expenses, etc. and maybe you could stay on their health insurance that way.

You don't say how much you make. If you make 6 figures I would say to continue working but you reallly should consider getting a nanny to stay home with the kids. Daycare is very expensive, as you know and you really need to do the numbers as to how much all that daycare and aftercare (or nanny) is going to cost and how much you would take home. In my opinion, making anything less than 70,000k with three kids is not worth it. Not to mention the stress!!

Spending more time with your children is priceless. =) They're little only once and being home with them would make a difference in their lives that would last a life time. =) I know that's not financial but that's an investment worth mentioning. We've made a financial sacrifice so I can stay home with my kids and the blessings outweigh the finances (although financially we'd probably break even with taxes and childcare etc). That was my first thought when I read your list. Otherwise, I think it's just a matter of maybe making a list of your pros and cons and seeing which is better for you family. Good luck!!!

you forgot the biggest item... TAXES. when I worked full time with one child.. we paid over 25000 in federal taxes. we then had a second child and I quit my job.. our federal tax bill went to about 6,000 a year.. a huge savings.. you might qualify for the child tax credit with only one income.

Also paying for 2 kids in daycare is very expensive.. probably 15000 a year. that is where a big part of where my salary went to day care for the kids.

Clothes are cheap for stay at home moms.. I have about 10 shirts for winter and 10 for summer and taht is my wardrobe.

Of course, none of us can really answer this question for you. I see you've gotten some very good responses, and the only other thing I can think of is that you need to remember that kids get sick and those are days you might have to miss work. With three children, and one an infant, there are likely to be more of those days than you've been having. I also wanted to say that when our children were young, I did the math several times, thinking perhaps I should go back to work to help out our financial situation. Every time I figured it out, I ended up with something in the range of $50 - $60 a month actual extra money if I went back to work. For me, that wasn't enough profit to make up for missing the time I was spending with the children.

Staying at home with the baby makes breastfeeding easier-- so no formula and you can get by either without a pump or with a manual instead of a double electric.

With less driving your car will last longer and if you're putting less milage on it maybe you can get a break on the insurance

Hi there, I think someone already added breastfeeding to the list of cost savings, especially if you will be with your baby all day. It's free! And so good for you and your baby. Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck making your decision!

One thing that made a huge difference for my husband and I was changing his income tax witholdings. We consulted our tax preparer and had a long talk about our plans for me to quit. We explained we didn't want to owe any taxes and wanted to get a refund of 1-2k/ yr. He calculated it and had my husband change his witholdings which put a lot more money monthly into our pockets.

A couple of things I didn't see you mention...
- Life insurance for you. You probably have it through your employer now but will need a policy on your own once you quit. You should also buy an additional policy for your husband that is not linked to his employer. If something (God forbid) were to happen, you could live on that money until you get a job and daycare set up. Also, having life insurance outside the employer is beneficial should he suffer a disability or injury which prevents him from working and he loses his employer provided policy.

- An emergency savings account. Also make sure you have paid off any outstanding credit card bills before you quit.

- Your mortgage. Is it worth refinancing right now? Interest rates are incredibly low. It might save you some money.

- Definitely call your car insurance agent and have them reduce the miles driven on your car since you won't be commuting. Also look into raising your deductibles to see if the cost savings is worth it.

- Walmart, Winco, Food Source, etc. Make shopping trips once a week, preferably without the children, and stock up. Also, research making your own baby food. Cheaper and healthier.

- Should you need extra income, you can always start a daycare of after school care.

These are just more ideas.

Stay on good terms with your employer if you do decide to quit so if it doesn't work out, you can try to go back.

Expect to feel isolated and look for other stay at home moms in your area.

When I quit, my good friend told me to get dressed and "made up" every day and not to fall into the sweats, slippers and tee shirts trap. It made it easier when a friend would call and say "meet me at the park" and I still felt like I had an identity outside being a stay at home mom.

Best of luck to you!